I Look At You And Can't Help But Fall In Love With You All Over Again.

I'd like to say that I'm alive. But I can't. I feel more like a ghost as I walk through the halls, my touch barely changing anything as I go past. My voice only a whisper in the wind as I yell for help out of the repeating hell. Because to be alive, you just be doing something extraordinary. Otherwise, you become something of a shadow left to watch as everyone forgets about you.

I'd love to feel alive

How do you love someone who won’t love you back? Easy. You suffer in silence and pray for something to stop the pain. Whether or not it is the person you love is completely up to circumstance. But I can’t say I’d take love from someone else over the bullet to heart that you so easily gave to me.

From the bottom of my (not yet dead) heart

We may be just friends but I get butterflies in my stomach when you speak in German to me. Even more when you translate what I say from French.

Our back in forth conversations with google translate are the high light of my day

Would you still love me knowing you could never make me happy? Or is that too much to ask for?

Six feet under

I thought this type of love could only happen in the books. Where the girl finds the guy of her dreams and everything falls into place. I wish I could experience what it’s like to fall for you again, because it was perfect in every sense amd every book would die to know how it was written.

I’m sorry if I seem distant. I’m sorry that I keep apologizing about the little things I do. I’m sorry that sometimes I stumble over my words when I know what I want to say. I’m sorry that you had to order food for me sometimes because I was afraid to speak to the waiter. I’m sorry that I made this situation more awkward than it should have been. I’m sorry that I made whatever we had weird. I’m sorry that we became so close. I’m sorry that I upset you because you couldn’t make me happy anymore. I’m sorry that my mind decided to close itself off to you. I’m sorry that this bottle of pills is the only thing standing between me and happiness.

I’m sorry that I ruined you

You make me feel better even when everything in this world is wrong. Because you are my only right.

When you hug me

orange, silver, and gold!

Hey there beef mom! Thank you for asking for these, it was fun to write and think about!

Orange: How many projects do you usually have going at once?

I’m really bad with projects, tbh, I start things and get really into them then kind of forget about them. So usually I’ll have about two or three going on a once with one getting done out of the three. 

Silver: Are you comfortable writing in public places?

I actually write my best when other people are around. It’s why I write and post stuff during school. I dunno, something about being around other people makes me feel somewhat creative. When I’m alone you can tell because what I write has a slight lonely undertone to it where everything else flows together better.

Gold: Do your stories usually contain lessons or morals?

The closest thing I have to writing in a moral or lesson to my stories are when I write prose or when I do my little short stories on wattpad. With the short stories there morals are behind the quotes at the bottom of the chapter and are usually about overcoming challenges or stereotypes.

I don't think you know how many times you've talked me off a ledge without even realizing it.

I really do need you

You told me you liked magic, I like magic too. I love the targeted deception, almost like feelings, but with a fire pit inside. Like how your touch is like the trick I pull when I say 'pick a card'. How your breath against my skin is nothing more than an illusionist's touch on their own special segment. You told me you liked magic. Little did I know your favorite trick was the disappearing act.

Now You Don't