BPJ Part 124!  (First) (Previous) (Next)

Can we all wish for my AP Physics grade? I need a hail mary of a grade on my final to get a B right now.

"I guess we were in the same story, but not on the same page."

- 2 A.M. Thoughts (via. Wounded-writing)

I thought I'd be fine when you decided to leave. But here I am in a puddle of my own tears and trying to figure out to turn off these damned things called emotions.

2 AM Thoughts

I wish my crush asks me out. It's cliche I know, but he does make me really happy more than 50% of the time and he's the only one I've talked to since my best friend left for the army. I hope this works.

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

Your eyes are the sky. Your voice is the earth. And your hug is what keeps me grounded.

Before you left

I have never fallen so in love with anyone until I met you. I have never fallen so in love with the look of passion in your eyes when you look at me from across a room full of people. I have never fallen so in love with they way someone someone holds me until I met you. I have never fallen in love before I met you.

You make my heart hurt

I hate that I need constant reassurance that you actually like me. I hate that I always feel like a burden. I hate that I say stupid things. I hate that I can’t take them back. I hate that I hate myself. But I love that you don’t hate me.

I can safely say that I don’t hate you too

I thought I knew what love was.  Love was sitting in my health class sophomore year. Love wouldn't date me until one of us could drive a car. Love played lacrosse and was a goalie, we bonded over that. Then college came 2 years later, and love left as quickly as it came.  Love became constant fights about pointless things. Love became jealous and controlling. Love ended at roughly 11:30 pm on a Tuesday night. Turns out I didn't know what love was. A month later, love's ugly cousin loneliness came in disguised as love. Loneliness was a scrawny blonde who tried to be "country". Loneliness couldn't play sports, but I was okay with that as long as I wasn't alone. Loneliness became an on and off relationship that I couldn't let go of because it had love's fond embrace. I used loneliness as an excuse to date. Loneliness left on Mother's Day around 11:30 AM, and I went to the store because I didn't know why I was so sad that loneliness, the one I had been begging myself to leave, was gone. Turns out, love also went to the store that day. Love had also just gotten out of a long term relationship. Love had texted me a few days prior to make fun of me because that was what love had done when we were friends in the past. This love was different than the love that sat in sophomore year health class. This love was sporadic 45 minute conversations in the most random places. This love popped up when I needed it the most at any point in my life. This love accepted me for who I am. Love has a fast car, and a motorcycle. Love knows I like to play with my hair. Love knows I don't get out much, but love is ok with that because he brings me to the most beautiful places. But between you and me, I don't care where this love takes me, because, I know what love is, and he treats me the right way and has the most beautiful hazel eyes and the cutest dimples I've ever seen. I know what love is because he sleeps next to me (almost) every night. I know what love is and he is the most authentic man I have ever met.

Love is in my thoughts 

We may be just friends but I get butterflies in my stomach when you speak in German to me. Even more when you translate what I say from French.

Our back in forth conversations with google translate are the high light of my day

I doubt you realize how easy it was for you to make a home in my heart. To make me feel as if you were all that I needed. Now here I am, with blood on my chest and my heart in my hands that you so easily ripped out. And what hurt the most isn't that my heart was torn out. It was that you knew how easy it would be to do just that.

You've made me numb