My White Ass When I See A Subpar Casserole

all my apologies to gimli who i cannot fit on this poll, zero apologies to denethor who i also can’t fit on this poll

My brain, sitting in a deer stand, no deer in sight: hey let's read some fanfic

Me: okay, then

My brain, after three minutes: hey what if Finduilas was Trans and became Gil-Galad for her transition. Because she died. "Finduilas" would be her dead name. It can be assumed that Turin was out of his noggin when he saw her "death", and just assumed she died.

Me: crack ideas to think up NOW? When my fingies are cold and I can't type well on my phone?? Really????

My brain: and can't the Peredhel Choice also be kinda trans-coded? Like choosing man or elf? Male or female characteristics? Something you already have---chromosomes (X/Y) or man/elf genes---but have to choose?

Me: I AM LITERALLY SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING FOR DEER RIGHT NOW, NOW IS NOT THE TIME

And guys, I don't even think Gil-Galad is trans (I think he's ace/aro, don't judge), but I just think this concept would be really funny! And I also don't think the Peredhil are Trans, but I like making connections!

You can pry buff Celebrimbor out of my cold dead hands. He is a blacksmith. He is a grandson of Fëanor. He has survived and fought in too many wars to count.

But you must remember:

He is also a little guy. He chose not to follow his family into another kinslaying. He created a city of peace and happiness. He likes building doors. He is my baby boy who can wield a sledgehammer like a sword, my little guy who make the finest details in rings and gems. He is very cool.

This just in, it's not actually homophobic to not enjoy incest shipping

Ace aro queen 👌 good rep in the media

“I am bride to no man.”

“Then tell me, to whom are you pledged?”

“Death.”

FRICK I haven't had breakfast and want some GRITS and I'm writing so my CHARACTERS are going to eat some GRITS because I SAY SO and because I'm HUNGRY but my characters' culture doesn't ADD UP with GRITS but they're EATING IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IM HUNGRY

I was a hobbit for Halloween with a flower crown and it was very fun :)

To test tumblr’s reading comprehension…

you can do ANYTHING to this post, reblog, add polls, start a fuckin roleplay in the notes, like it, I don’t give a shit.

BUT

you can’t add tags

Read The Hobbit, starting reading lotr now, read the Silmarillion, starting reading the Book of Lost Tales now, and have watched all Hobbit movies, LotR movies, and RoP show.

KOTLC AND TOLKIEN'S LEGENDARIUM: READERSHIP OVERLAP

I've been feeling curious about how much overlap there is between the readership of these works, because I've seen several KOTLC people posting legendarium-related things recently (and I myself suspect that some elements of KOTLC were inspired by it, and thus find these elements interesting). So, if you could humour me and answer the question below:

Read the options CAREFULLY and vote whichever option FITS YOU BEST (I think I've covered most if not all). If you're confused about the options, the relevant information is below the poll. Also, I'd love it if you could tell me what you voted in the tags!

So without further ado:

REMINDER: If you have NOT read KOTLC (Keeper of the Lost Cities), then PLEASE do not vote.

Please REBLOG for larger sample size! Because I really am quite curious :)

If you are confused about any of these options, please read the explanations below:

If you've watched AND read some of these, please don't select the watch-only option :)

The definition of READ here (for everything but HoME where a dedicated skim or half the book counts) is if you've read the text IN ITS ENTIRETY or closely enough that it may as well be so (leaving this one up to your judgement but as a rule, let's say about 80% to 90% and with skipping only non-essential bits (LOTR prologue and appendices, geography chapter etc -- again, these may seem essential to you, but these are the ones most people seem to skip/skim)).

Also, although I doubt this will actually be a cause of debate, audiobooks count. They always count.

(rest of the explanation under cut if needed)

You do not have to have read all the Great Tales either; having read only one or a few counts.

The osmosis/pop culture option is for things like 'I mean I've watched 'They're taking the hobbits to Isengard' and/or 'I have an irl friend or beloved mutual or person I follow who's read the books/watched the movies and talks about them a lot'.

For ONLY WATCHED, fan-films and fan-adaptations (such as the many Silm-related rock operas) count.

Silm refers to The Silmarillion (1977), as in the published text only.

The Great Tales refers to The Children of Húrin (2007), Beren and Lúthien (2017) and The Fall of Gondolin (2018). For the purposes of this poll it also includes The Fall of Númenor (2022)

HoME refers to The Histories of Middle-earth (1983-1996). For the purposes of this poll, it also includes Unfinished Tales of Númenor and Middle-earth (1980) and The Nature of Middle-earth (2021) and (though this one's iffy) The Letters of J. R. R. Tolkien (1981); if you've read Letters but not any of Silm/Great Tales/other HoME, just vote for the LOTR and/or Hobbit option.