Y/n: I've Finally Found You

gO ALL OUT!!

Stayed up till 2am studying physics, did I get anything? No

Actually maybe.

But I fucking studied, stu(died) till 2am and then decided its sleep time but now I'm here at 6:30 am not a wink of sleep and tired yet only a tinge sleepy, I kid not, Im starting to feel sleepy form just typing this and nothing... I'm broken. Defected. I'M UNSTOPABLE, WHO NEEDS CAFFEINE WHEN YOU HAVE THE WEIGHT OF YOUR OWN DAMN CONSEQUENCES KEEPING YOU AWAKE HAHAHA HA.... This blog is just gonna be a slow descencion into my own insanity.

Also I'm supposed to get injected with chemicals today so that's fun, fuck covid. ummm again what is sleep don't know, haven't known for the past how many months, I think it's almost been a year. I have class at 9band I'm fucked so a normal day I guess..... Have a great day hoomans.

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Animation I can't find

there was an aimation i found as a kid that didnt have voice acting but had like sound effects and music maybe.

I remember it was an animation that kind of revolved around this guy who had wings that were sharp, like it was steps and straight lines, they were red if I remember properly. the wings are retractable, and the first video i remember seeing is this dude fighting someone else.

I remember like two scenes. one where the guy with angel wings meets a girl on a bridge whose standing on the railing and when she sees him gets a bit startled and like presses her skirt down and proceeds to tell him off, to which he gets confused about and i think she steps back on to a skateboard and falls back as well.

there's two girls the one above where she has an early 2000s emo vibe and another who has pink hair and is a bit more curvy??? there's also another scene where there's the emo girl who is saved on the bridge and another girl with pink hair and is curvy. both are passed out and there's another guy who cuts two trees that are going to fall on them so the guy with the wings cuts the tree falling on the emo girl and moves to plank on top of the pink haired girl having the tree fall on top of him and the guy who cut the tree saves the pink haired girl as she wakes up and the guy with the hidden angel wings legit gets squished by the tree comedically.

if anyone remembers please let me know cause what the hell was this and why is plaguing my brain like a decade later???

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Experience: Learning the right way to connect the dots.

i am very weak right now

Some RH doods for color practicee

some quiet moments sketched from the last week or so.

mermaid yeosang au

[plenty of curses lol and also this is hella long ,,,,, so I'm sorry] This was once again inspired by warmau, please check them out! I love their writing.

other mermaid aus; yunho san

when your friends said you were a dumb fuck you begged to differ but now you just agree

because really– you have proved how low your IQ level is when you went to the beach

It was a cloudy day and it was supposed to rain later on but you and your friends were already at the beach– so you decided you might as well enjoy

you wanted to go for a swim but all your friends refused and said that they preferred to stick to the shallow water

you went in for a swim in the deep water, where the waves form because you go out to swim pretty often ,,,, especially this place

but then it started raining cats and dogs

and the current started becoming stronger

your grade A swimming skills couldn't save you because even as you were trying to swim against the current, the water was just sweeping you away

The only thing you could hear were your friends screaming for the one second you managed to get out and then you were back in

salt water going through your nose

and you felt like this was it

because getting out of the water is impossible and you've heard countless stories of people drowning, never thinking you were going to go be one of them

and this isn't some movie where you get washed up on some shore on an island and find your way back home

and so you just let the water take you with itself

Till you felt a strong grip on your wrist

you couldn't see clearly because the salt water and the sand was hurting your eyes

but you felt something wrap it's arms around you tightly and drag you away with full force

you felt everything fade away as you lost consciousness

you eyes fluttered open and you jolted up

you found yourself on this flat rock on some unknown shoreline?

“oh good– you're up,” you heard someone say from behind you.

You turned around to see a white haired boy, prominent cheek bones, angular face, melanin skin, a weak smile on his lips

and then you noticed–

the huge gash that went from his ankle to almost his knee

“w-what ,,,,, how did this happen? Are you okay?” you asked, worryingly, as you inched closer to him.

“oh I'm a hundred percent fine!” he replied in a sarcastic tone, pointing towards his leg

hE SOUNDED LIKE A WHINY BITCH

“rude,” you hissed, as you tore your sleeve, wrapping it around his leg to cover the wound

“please stop– this ,,, it won't help,” he pointed towards the bandage.

“i know it's not great but it'll be worse if I don't do this now,” you answered.

“no you don't understand,” he interrupted, his tone stern.

“what do I not understand? This is one of the things I've been taught to do in case someone gets wounded and this prevents bacterial infection from happening–”

“I'm a mermaid,,,,,,” he confessed.

and you stopped dead in your tracks

“y-youre a ,,,,, what?” you asked him again

“don't tell anyone please,” he grumbled. “I don't want a fanclub”

“oh my god ,,,, you're a mermaid but you're also a dick, congrats!” you replied, clearly annoyed.

I MEAN WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS???

and he just rolled his eyes

“why don't you just tell me how I can help because I don't want to be responsible for murder,” you hissed.

Yeosang scoffed and kept thinking of a solution, till an idea popped into his mind, a smile on his face

You could see the light bulb over his head

“well- there are these things we use to heal and keep ourselves strong ,,,,, they're a type of seashell.....”

“oh god– this will be like finding a needle in a haystack,” you sighed.

“no actually the shell is the color of my tail which is emerald green, with white lines and we don't carry these shells with us, but rather– they find us when we are in need,” he explained.

“so can't it just ,,,,,, I don't know pop out of the ocean right into my arms?”

“if that's how it worked, do you think I would have entertained you all that long?”

“fine, you win,” you admitted, gritting your teeth

“dont hit your head on the rocks or drown like you did before–” he jabbered.

“you know ,,,,, I really miss two minutes ago when I didn't know your existence,” you retorted, as you dived into the water, missing the smirk on his face

After several minutes, you found the shell and you swam back to the silver haired boy

aND HE WAS SURPRISED AS FUCK?

“y-you found the shell?” he gulped

“yeah, why do you sound so panicky?” you asked, as you handed it to him, noticing the change in his tone

“nothing,” he scoffed. “I thought your intelligence quotient was so low that you would drown again,”

You only huffed in annoyance as you watched the gash on his leg disappear in an instant

“how did you get hurt anyway?”

“i was trying to save your dumbass from drowning.....”

he stood up and mans was taller than you

“the wound is fixed, the attitude comes right out huh?” you snapped.

“this isn't attitude, this is just–”

“no, you're just a jerk face” you interrupted, getting up.

Before you could utter another word, in one swift motion he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him

“first of all, it's not jerk face– it's Kang yeosang and second of all, I didn't have to injure myself just to save your petty ungrateful ass, but I still did.”

“well, god wanted me dead and now you get to find out why,” you managed to choke out, hoping he wouldn't notice how fAST YOUR HEART WAS RACING

He let go of your wrist as he rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time

“do you want to get back home or not?”

“yeah, so that I can forget your existence.”

He mumbled a ‘fine’ and jumped into the water

and you jumped after him

you could see his dark emerald green tail and as it came to the middle part, it become almost white, similar to his hair color

“hold on tight and pray that I don't strangle you,” he wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his chest

I mean ,,,,,, dude was a dick but he looked hELLA FINE AND YALL SEE HIS CHEST??

he swam at literal lightning speed like you were there before you even knew it??

the storm had passed and you could see lifeguards, friends and family on the shoreline

You were in still water, small waves here and there but nothing too strong

“the coast guard is going to come here for another round to search for you–pretend you're unconscious and just let your body float,” he instructed.

“what if I get only farther and farther away from the shore?” you asked and he rolled his eyes

“you need to stop asking me stupid questions ,,,,, and- I'll be here to supervise.”

“okay then um- thank you ,,,, yeosang.”

“you're welcome–” he let go of your body and you let your body float on the water, till you felt a boat near by, eventually taking you out of the water

you eventually pretended to regain consciousness and was happy to be reunited with everyone

you also got scolded by everyone but you felt as if something was missing

sure you didn't like yeosang but he still saved you and you just ,,,,, kinda liked having him around even if he was annoying

I mean he made your heart race and get you all giddy for some ,,,,,, reason

this incident happened a little over a month ago and you spent all your time missing yeosang?? even though you like barely knew him and he was a dick lol

you went back to the beach, without anyone around and just walked along the shoreline till you felt your foot hit something

it was emerald in color?

yeosang's shell??

was he in trouble?

you panicked internally because you hoped he was okay

you picked up the shell and looked around,

but you still couldn't see him

you saw a rather large rock so you decided to swim towards it in hopes of trying to spot him from the top

and you got there but unfortunately the rock was too steep and slippery and so you were trying to find an edge where you could get on top from

unaware that Yeosang was watching you struggle and grinning at your stupidity

“you do realize– I have been looking for that ,,,, every where,” you heard someone say, making your heart race and you ended up bumping into his chest ,,,,, again

“you dick– if you were here ,,,, why couldn't you help me?”

“sorry it was fun watching you struggle–” he smirked

“rude– but I found your shell so- are you okay?” you asked with geniuine concern

He sighed, “oh god- I have to tell you something....”

“what?”

“you see ,,,,, I had originally sent you on a wild goose chase when I sent you to find my shell–”

“what do you mean?”

“actually no one except the mermaids themselves can find their own shell,” he scratched the back of his head. “unless–” he paused.

“unless?”

“unless they are your significant other....”

Haru fucking broke my heart in this episode.

From the beginning of the anime, we know Haru loves the water, he loves swimming free, he truly doesn’t care about his time or being scouted but I feel like - in this episode - it’s the first time that we truly saw that.

Haru has been lately put under a lot of pressure, what does he want to do next year ? Does he wants to go pro ? Will he accept the scouts many offers ? Will he and his friends win the relay this year ? Although he didn’t give two shits about being scouted or not, the fact that he was, the fact that many people think he has a great talent, that people are counting on him, that he’s being called the pride of Iwatobi High School, that made it all real for him, serious, it made swimming serious.

And Haru doesn’t want that, he doesn’t want the pressure, he doesn’t want to think about his immenient future, he doesn’t want to swin to for someone else, Haru only swims free, he only swims for himself and his friends. 

This is why he stopped in the middle of the race because Haru swims because he wants to, not because he has to and especially not to impress someone else. Being put in this situation, under this stress, literallymade him feel like he couldn’t swim anymore, like he wasn’t free anymore. You can even see it as he swims, at the beginning the water is clear like usual but soon and it becomes dark, dark like when Sousuke swims because now, swimming because as painful for Haru because of the stress as it is for Sousuke because of his shoulder. 

This scene was as powerful as it was heartbreaking because he Haru can’t swim freely, he won’t swim at all.

yknow, i’ve seen a lot of posts analyzing haru’s nightmare and rin and haru’s fight from last episode, but im honestly shocked at the lack of attention this scene has. 

we’ve been seeing all season that makoto is struggling with what he wants to do when he gets out of high school. he probably never thought he’d be able to make it to the big leagues because his talent wasn’t up there with haru and rin’s. he’s jealous of rin because he could never ignite that spark in haru that rin can when they swim. haru is constantly being targeted by scouts. makoto probably feels like he’s being left behind. 

but right here. this is the first time makoto is being told that his talent is worth something. even if he has decided on what he wants to do after graduation (i.e., studying in tokyo, working at the iwatobi swim club, etc.), this is the only time makoto has heard he has the potential to keep swimming. and it’s not from his best friend or his teammates or his teachers - it’s from rin.

obviously rin’s goal is to swim professionally and make it to the olympics. but up to this point makoto had assumed he was only interested in whether or not haru was taking his future into consideration. rin is also worried about makoto. not many people remember that makoto and rin are very close friends because they don’t have the same bond with each other that they both have with haru. but all season rin has been worrying about them both and rin wants them both to consider swimming professionally, not just for their future’s sake, but so he can continue swimming with his friends.