This is a fantastic piece of writing about the psychology of sissies and what motivates, excites them and how they can be effectively managed. It’s complicated subject and this article sums it up so well. A must-read for any sissy male and their partners looking (and indeed submissive males turned on by feminisation and humiliation) to understand why sissies tick the way they do, and how they can be trained to be the best that they can be.
1.Introduction
While this guide will hopefully be useful to anyone interested in the idea of owning a sissy, a primary goal in writing this is to introduce the idea of sissy ownership to people who are relatively unfamiliar with the concept. Chances are, almost regardless of where you are, there is a potential slave near you who would love nothing more than to be allowed to serve you. And while the seemingly crazy psychology of these extremely submissive (fe)males might feel complex initially, there really are some basic guidelines that will make bringing one (or three) into your life very enjoyable.
If you’re sitting at your computer right now, a bit bored, a little horny, but not feeling like going out…a sissy could be perfect for you. In most situations, a sissy won’t replace your primary companion, but they can be a great addition. If you’re a guy, chances are you’re considering whether or not to get a quick fap in tonight before bed. Instead, have a sissy on call. She could be under your desk softly sucking your cock right now as you read.
Ladies, you might love the same kind of attention, or opt instead for a long massage.
No one is more obedient and eager to serve than a sissy, and there are generally no strings attached whatsoever. Have her rub your feet and make you dinner, then tell her to do your dishes and clean up the kitchen before sending her home.
Sound perfect? It’s pretty close.
2. Finding the Right “Girl.”
Sissies are everywhere!! If they weren’t such pansies they would have taken over the world by now. If you already have one in your life you can skip this section, or maybe you want to add a few more to your stable…
While there are a handful of personals sites geared towards this scene, chances are you will have even better luck putting a post on Craigslist or Fetlife. Generally, sissies aren’t the boldest bunch, so post your own ad instead of waiting for one of them to create a listing.
Be detailed about what you’re looking for. How often do you want them to be at your house? What services are required? What kind of appearance would you like?
From the very first communication, be direct and confident. You’re in charge. If that bothers them they can get lost. You’re looking for a gurl who will be obedient and responds well to your authority.
Appearance is, of course, important, but focus initially on attitude. An obedient gurl with a strong desire to please will work hard to look how you want her to if you give her a little time and practice. A lazy sissy who is just looking for a quick thrill will only waste your time.
Your first meeting can be in public if she’s uncomfortable coming directly to your house, but regardless, you should be confident and in charge from the moment you meet. At no point are you equals. How you want her to greet you is up to you, but something along the lines of a polite bow and curtsey (or kneeling if in the privacy of your home) are a good idea to set the correct tone immediately.
If you establish from the very beginning that you are in charge, you will also avoid the awkwardness that often occurs when someone makes the mistake of initially greeting someone as an equal and then having to make the transition into dominant/submissive mode with them.
3. Inside Your Sissy’s Mind
At the heart of every sissy’s psyche is a need for sexual humiliation. They are most aroused by acts, words, and situations that are unpleasant and degrading. One part of them is irresistibly drawn to things that another part of them finds very distasteful.
It’s a counterintuitive paradox that can be a bit challenging to get your head around at first, so I’ll give a few examples.
Most sissies would consider themselves at least mostly heterosexual, and in general are less attracted to men than to women. However, the very fact that they find sexual acts with men undesirable or possibly degrading also makes those acts very arousing because of the humiliation they entail.
Another example is physical discipline. The sting of a paddle itself is in reality unpleasant, and it’s only because of its unpleasantness and humiliating nature that so many sissies are drawn to it.
Confusing, right?
Don’t worry, you don’t need to fully understand or try to relate in order to have a great time with your sissy and give her exactly the treatment she craves.
For most people, the biggest initial hurdle to overcome is a sense of guilt as you learn to interact with her. It’s hard not to feel a little bad as you relax on the couch while she works diligently at scrubbing your bathroom; especially since she gets no tangible reward whatsoever for her efforts. But the key here to remember is that while she is not receiving any payment or physical reward, you are giving her something infinitely greater; something that she could never obtain on her own.
This leads into a key question…what exactly does she want?
And here lies a problem. For most sissies, explicitly telling you exactly how they would like to be treated will make the relationship feel as if they are in control; that they are calling the shots. They need you to be in control at all times.
If they have a blog or other journal, this can be a backdoor way to see the kind of relationship that most appeals to them. Or have them write out what their ideal situation would look like.
But in all this, don’t bend too far to try and appease their fantasies. Fundamentally, this is about you and what you enjoy. Their entire role is to be relegated to being a servant whose sole function is to attend to you and make your life pleasant.
4. Setting the Ground Rules
Owning a sissy doesn’t need be complicated or require a huge amount of preparation, but having a few basic principles in place will set a great foundation for a rewarding experience for both of you.
If you only remember one thing in this chapter, make it this one: as soon as a sissy cums, she instantly becomes almost entirely useless. As bizarre as it seems, your sissy is a completely different person ten seconds after an orgasm than she was ten seconds before it. She will no longer be genuinely interested in serving you, and will obey only out of a sense of duty.
You need to control her orgasms. This may not sound especially exciting, depending on your personality, but this small bit of effort on your part is absolutely critical to a having a useful sissy.
At first she may be obedient and abstain from touching herself, but in the long run the only real solution is a chastity device. These can be a bit of a hassle, but make that her problem. Have her research and buy her own device. There’s a fairly good chance she’s already interested in the concept, and she may already have a few devices available.
The security of these devices vary. The more casual ones are sufficient at first, but if your relationship with her shows signs of lasting, you may eventually want to have her graduate to a device that utilizes a piercing or urethral rod. With these she will be completely at your command and unable to escape.
Again, don’t let a sense of guilt alter your behaviour towards her. She will be desperate to cum much of the time, but will gradually adjust to living in a constant state of sexual frustration; excited to be your sissy and eager to please. Orgasms should be very special treats - only permitted in special circumstances, and only when you know you will not be requiring her services for a day or two as her submissiveness returns.
Be clear about your desires in regard to appearance, and don’t be afraid to discipline if she fails to comply. Most owners prefer a sissy shaved smooth from her neck down. Many also want their gurl slender, so weight goals and consequences for failure to meet them can be effective. We’ll cover some of the easiest ways to discipline your sissy in a future chapter.
If you want her as feminine as possible, make that clear from the beginning and don’t be afraid to punish if you deem her efforts insufficient. Keep in mind that there are limits, and sissies are rarely exceptionally attractive as either males or females. Just make sure she knows what you like and dislike, and that she’s making every effort to meet your tastes.
Sissies will often have a particular attire they are attached to. It’s a good idea to be somewhat accommodating to their fantasies in this regard, but be sure it’s something you also find at least somewhat appealing. Clothing tends to reflect extreme femininity because of it’s emasculating nature, increasing the humiliation of their situation. Have her try french maid costumes, lingerie, pleated skirts and stockings…anything overtly feminine that you would enjoy seeing her in.
5. Making Her Useful
Modern society has evolved to stigmatize creating overt luxury for one person at the expense of another, but sissies are one of the few groups of people who seek to live outside that norm. As their owner, you are merely granting their wish to be taken advantage of.
First off…sex!
You don’t ever need to have any feeling of self-consciousness or fear of rejection. With a sissy you are free to be fully yourself, telling her exactly how you want to be treated. Be selfish. Be lavishly, unimaginably selfish.
Ever wondered what it would feel like to have your asshole softly licked? Ever had the desire to fuck someone’s throat and watch the mascara run down their cheeks as they gag? How about having your pussy worshipped while you watch tv?
Be honest with yourself as you experiment. Your sissy will thrive on your genuine enjoyment and satisfaction.
Don’t ever feel a sense of pressure though. If all you want is a foot rub, all she gets to do is give you a foot rub. Sex should never be work for you.
And even though this has already been covered, I’ll say it again: don’t let her cum. Her satisfaction comes from being allowed to pleasure you. We’ll cover a little later some ways that you can occasionally allow her a sexual reward, but for the most part you are the only one who gets to have orgasms. Lots and lots of orgasms.
The other most common use for sissies is domestic chores.
Never politely ask a sissy if she would like to complete a task for you. This makes her feel as if she is your equal and is doing your housework of her own volition, making it drudgery.
But if you firmly command her to do something, she will tingle with submissive excitement as she works - especially if she knows there will be consequences if she fails to do the task correctly. More on that later.
The more humiliating the tasks the better, and whenever possible point out to her that a real man would never obediently do these demeaning tasks. Depending on your situation, a sissy may eventually be able to handle the majority of your domestic tasks…laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning.
If you have her perform a task that has a “masculine” perception, such as mowing the yard, be sure she does it in very feminine attire. Of course, whether or not you want the neighbors seeing a ballerina mowing your grass is up to you.
6. Discipline
There are two kinds of discipline when punishing your sissy, with a bit of grey area in between.
The first is largely symbolic; meant primarily as a means of reminding her of her place. The second is meant to be more purely unpleasant and is used to alter her behaviour directly.
Let’s start with the first kind.
The symbolism of obediently lowering her panties and bending over is psychologically powerful. It’s a physical sign of deference, and as she looks at the floor with her bare ass in the air, her submissive sissy psyche is fully engaged.
For this reason, it can be a good idea to perform “maintenance” discipline very regularly - even if not merited by any specific behaviour. There are few more effective ways to click her into a submissive mental state.
Implements to be used in this case should be only moderately painful: hairbrush, light crops, belts. The pain level should be adequate to make her squeal a little, but stop short of bringing tears.
Allow some space for creativity. Anything you can think of that sounds humiliating will be perfect for this type of discipline. Make her stand in the corner with her nose to the wall for twenty minutes. (This feels like forever, trust me.) Have her kneel and give one of your doorknobs a richly-deserved blowjob. Gag her and lock her in a dog kennel. Have fun, and be sure to document with photos so she can relive her humiliation later.
The second kind of discipline is meant for genuine behaviour modification, and if done correctly shouldn’t need to be carried out very often. The threat of this kind of punishment if she fails to be on her best behaviour should be looming in the back of her mind at all times. With the correct incentives in place, a sissy will be remarkably perfect in her obedience.
More severe spankings can work for these kinds of discipline, depending on their pain tolerance. Opt for more painful implements, such as a cane or paddle with holes. She should have tears running down her cheeks by the time you’re through with her. If you have nearby neighbors, a gag is probably a good idea.
A method requiring less effort is to have her tuck her little testicles back between her legs as she bends over, and then swatting them with a ruler. You will be impressed by how little it takes to get a sissy squealing and promising to change her ways with this method.
But the easiest punishment by far is simply adding time until her next release from her chastity device. Tell her you’re about to add a week to her time in chastity and her attitude will immediately adjust dramatically. Remember, she’s desperate to cum, and will do almost anything to avoid lengthening the time until her next release.
If the idea of having to discipline someone sounds tiring to you, stick to using just this method. It’s extremely effective and requires minimal effort on your part.
There is a myriad of other potential means of punishment to keep your sissy on her best behaviour, and her personality and tastes will largely dictate what will be most effective. Experiment, watch how she responds, and enjoy making her squirm and whimper.
You’re the boss!
7. Rewards
A sissy’s life shouldn’t be entirely without little selfish pleasures, although they should be very rare compared to yours. Although they do require a small amount of effort on your part, properly spaced rewards will keep your sissy incentivized and even more eager to please.
Her single biggest treat will more than likely be the occasions she is allowed out of chastity. Make sure her next release date is on the calendar, and keep up with moving it later or earlier based on her behaviour. This date will be etched in her mind at all times, as her frustrated little penis squirms inside its prison.
The last thing you want to do though is to just allow her to run off and privately masturbate as soon as she is free. While some sissies can handle this, many will have waves of guilt and echoes of masculinity surge immediately after masturbating. For their own good, you must ignore their pleas to be allowed to touch themselves freely.
Her only orgasms should be “ruined”. A ruined orgasm is essentially one in which pleasant stroking contact is not present, allowing the cum to ooze out without the intense sensations and emotions of an orgasm with full stimulation. This will leave her feeling somewhat relieved, but if done correctly she will still be slightly horny and unsatisfied. Her sissy psychology will hopefully remain at least partially intact.
Give her the key to her chastity device and allow her to unlock herself. Make sure she knows the consequences will be extreme if she is in the least bit disobedient during this process.
Once unlocked, restrict her hands with cuffs or cable tie behind her back.
From here there are a few different options.
The easiest is to use a vibrator and hold it against the underside of her penis, right where the head meets the shaft. Verbally humiliate her while you hold it there. Tell her this is the only kind of orgasm a sissy like her gets to have, and tell her to hurry up and shoot her little load. The more you can get inside her head with your insults, the quicker this will go. Of course, if you’re enjoying yourself, take your time and even pull the vibrator off when you think she’s getting close to cumming. If you’re feeling especially cruel you can put a time limit on the “treat”, and she goes back in chastity once times expires regardless of whether she has been able to cum.
If she cums from this method, simply pull the vibrator away as soon as her orgasm begins. The cum will still ooze out, but you will have successfully ruined it.
The more “hands on” approach is to give her a traditional handjob and pull away as soon as she starts to cum. This technique isn’t nearly as foolproof though. It’s very easy to stroke just a little too long, giving her a few seconds of “thrusting” orgasm. Even if you let go halfway through this kind of orgasm, she will still have felt the hormone surge and will likely not remain in her sissy mental state.
Whether or not a sissy should ever be allowed a satisfying orgasm is a matter of debate. I personally like the idea of sissies being allowed one full orgasm annually on their birthday or allowing them one un-ruined orgasm for every one hundred orgasms they give you. This has the added bonus of keeping her extremely excited for opportunities to pleasure you.
education is first
Me encanta 🥰🥰
For information
Kai says:
I have parents who only let me buy clothing from the women’s section, so I thought I would compile a list of places I know you can find masculine/gender neutral clothing in the women’s section for all the other transmasculine people who might be closeted or have parents like mine! If you know of any I’ve missed, please send an ask to my personal blog kaikev
Note that some of these stores/brands may be more expensive than others if they aren’t on sale. I also apologize in advance if these stores are not accommodating to plus size individuals; I don’t have any experience with that and if anyone has suggestions for additions to these lists, please tell me!
I also apologize for any problematic language I use in this post, so feel free to send any suggestions for better wording to my personal blog (listed above).
Button down shirts/flannels:
Uniqlo
H&M
GAP / GAP Factory
Old Navy
J. Crew / J. Crew Factory
Anywhere you can find button down shirts/flannels in general has masc/neutral style ones. Skate or surf stores/brands may have some.
T-shirts: (especially graphic tees)
American Apparel
Urban Outfitters
Hot Topic
Anywhere you can get unisex t-shirts (for example, custom designs or merchandise, stuff with chest designs, skater shops)
Pants:
H&M
RVCA
Zumiez
Pacsun
Levi’s
GAP / GAP Factory
Adidas (they have track pants that are pretty masc/neutral)
American Eagle
Generally chinos, joggers, track pants, and sweatpants are styles that are more neutral/masc and tend to have bigger pockets
For jeans, ‘girlfriend,’ ‘boyfriend,’ ‘tomboy,’ and ‘tomgirl’ fits are usually less tight and more loose and can hide hips
Don’t go for high-rise pants if you’re looking to hide the waist/hip ratio. Go for low-rise pants.
Shorts (these are hard to find in the women’s section unless you can get athletic shorts):
GAP / GAP factory (they have 9 inch or 10 inch shorts)
athletic brands or stores for basketball shorts like Nike, Adidas, Under Armour, Sports Authority, etc.
Generally, basketball shorts are masc/neutral and have pockets
Edit: also bermuda style shorts are generally longer. You can always each “9 inch shorts” on websites and see what comes up
Jackets/Hoodies/Sweatshirts:
Zumiez
Pacsun
H&M
Old Navy
Tilly’s
Vans
Urban Outfitters
ASOS
American Eagle
Athletic brands and stores tend to have masc/neutral jackets, hoodies, and sweatshirts (see above at Shorts section for links)
Edit: outdoor stores/brands like The North Face, Patagonia, REI, etc., surf brands, have a lot of neutral clothing in the women’s section.
Formalwear (specifically blazers/suits. If you’re looking for button down shirts, see the section above as well):
J Crew / J Crew factory
Nordstrom
Wildfang (this is marketed towards masc women, so some parents might not approve because they sell men’s section clothing there)
ASOS
Mango
Old Navy (for blazers)
Dr. Martens (for shoes)
H&M (for slacks/pants)
Blazers can range from quite feminine to very neutral, so it may take a while to find one you like. Suits might be easier to find in a neutral style, though they tend to be more expensive. For button down shirts, see above. Slacks/pants are not too hard to find as well.
Shoes:
Vans
Converse
Adidas
Dr. Martens
Nike
Athletic brands in general, especially skate shoes tend to be masc/neutral/unisex
Swimwear (rash guards and boardshorts):
If you search on Amazon, or online for women’s rashguards, there will be some that are more neutral. Kanu Surf brand looks a little more neutral, but I’m sure there are others.
If you search for 9″, 10″, or 11″ board shorts for women, you can find neutral board shorts like this Volcom one and Rip Curl one
Wearing a rash guard and boardshorts over a one piece swimsuit or a sports bra and a bikini bottom works for swimming
Racing/sporty one piece swimsuits might help with compression and holding your chest in place, so check out brands like Nike, Speedo, etc. for high quality racing one piece swimsuits that have a little bit of compression
Binders/High compression sports bras:
See our Transmasculine Resources for binders, though these are not from the “women’s” section, so transphobic parents might not let you buy it
Underworks Magicotton Sports Bra and Binding Minimizer Bra (marketed for cis women as a sports bra, so potentially transphobic parents might let you buy it. If you check the reviews, many people use it as a binder)
You can also find high compression sports bras from athletic brands like Nike, Adidas, Under Armour, etc.
Generally, I’ve had good luck with skate brands, surf brands, athletic brands, brands/stores for teenagers like H&M, etc.
I hope this helps! Please feel free to send me more suggestions if you come across anything helpful - this post will probably be edited to add more links so check back every once in a while and reblog again for your followers and for updates!
and you? What level are you in?
Level One Gurl:
Usually someone just getting started feminizing, whether a panty lover, a boi, kitten, toy or doll. Lots of fantasizing, but much less action... Also, could be a more seasoned gurl that has little opportunity due to secrecy.
*All Level Ones wish to expand their feminization pursuits, which range anywhere from transition, to fetish dressers just wanting to dress/play more.
*All Level Ones need more gurly friends both locally and online, and therefore need and support Miss Nikki's networking and expansion plans.
*All Level Ones accept that a general sissy trait is submissiveness, and that all sissies should have an owner to answer to.
*Level Ones are generally virgins as far as playing in feminine mode, but wish to remedy that.
* Level Ones, being inexperienced, have yet to solidly define their sexual preferences. So they have not yet realized many of the bonuses inherent to "gurl+gurl" vs serving Alphas, "straight" guys, etc....
*Level Ones spend most of their "gurltime" online, not physically being their femme persona .
*Most Level Ones have many doubts, insecurities, and confliction. Thats ok, its normal, and pushing on towards Level Five, will overcome that.
* Level One sissies may be scared to get on the GurlMap, but really are the ones that need to the most...
*While Levels are for gurls, I feel an exception makes sense for fans and lovers of CD/TS/TG gurls. So those can reveive an "Honorary" Level One...
If so, there are more that might be more "you"... !!!
Hi there I’m starting out with being a femboy but I dont know if I look cute enough. Any tips for looking cute and not being afraid to show yourself to people?
First of all I’d just like to say that I’ve seen a lot of people saying that they don’t think they look cute enough even when in the eyes of almost everyone else they look just fine. Underestimating yourself is a quite common issue amongst femboys, so trying to muster up a bit of confidence is always going to help you, however you manage to accomplish that
As for more practical tips I’m not sure what I can say that you probably haven’t already heard before, but I guess the general areas of approach are:
1. Clothes - Find your own style. Think of what kind of image you want to have and what might fit your own physique the best to get the kind of impact you want to full effect. Personally I mostly like cutesy stuff and I like showing off a lot of thighs and midriff so I often go for tops, miniskirts and thighhighs when I shop for girls’ clothes, but again that’s totally individual
2. Diet - Overeating in general is obviously something you want to avoid, but also eating lots of vegetables and soy products whilst avoiding red meat can help to get a more feminine figure as far as I know
3. Exercise - You want to reduce body fat in certain areas but without gaining a bunch of muscle mass in the process, so this is usually just a bunch of lower body-focused exercises we’re talking about such as squats, flutter kicks, donkey kicks, hip bridges, deadlifts, lunges, glute lifts and similar on the menu. Doing some cardio exercising like simply jogging is not a bad idea either. There are plenty of workout guides for this you can find online and help build your own routine from
4. Hair removal - This should be a given but body hair is a pretty big no-no for femboys and it’s a constant annoying battle you have to face to get rid of it. There are numerous possible approaches here: shaving with a razor or trimmer is quick, painfree and easy but the results won’t last long, whereas waxing and epilating are much more efficient approaches but they hurt and require a lot of caution (and also isn’t recommended on quite all areas of your body). There’s also hair removal cream but I don’t think that’s a great idea to use because it’ll get very expensive in the long run to keep using that
Personally I have a Silk-épil epilator from Braun which I think is really good, and it also comes with a swappable head so that it can become an electric shaver as well if you want. I usually use that function on the more sensitive areas such as pubes, armpits and face, while I epilate my arms and legs instead (well, assuming I’m not being lazy and just shave everything instead which definitely happens too >.>). Ultimately though it’s very individual depending on how much hair growth you have, how sensitive your skin is and what your pain tolerance is. Try some different things out and see what works best for you
5. Skincare - Pretty straightforward but moisturizers are pretty important to maintaining good skin I think, especially if you wax or epilate to remove hair. There are also many different kinds of body oils and similar you can use and… well there are way more products out there than anyone actually needs but just browsing around a little and buying just a couple things is never a bad idea at least
6. Makeup - Okay this one is more of a bonus if anything but if you want to take face reveals on pics or actually go out in public whilst crossdressing then with the right makeup you might be able to pass for a girl in the eyes of the beholders for real. Personally I’ve never really learned this though since it’s not really been my ambition to trick people that hard so I can’t really give much tips on this
As a final note though, I’d just like to say that there’s no one correct way to do all this so you have to figure out yourself what your preferred angle of approach is if you want to look cute. And remember, we’re all very different in the first place, and genetics play a big part in this game. Personally I have always been slender even before I became a femboy so the whole diet part of the equation was never something I’ve had to think about for example, but that doesn’t mean the same is true for everyone (it’s not). It can be a lot of work to look cute, but the results can also be very satisfactory so as long as you’ve got the motivation for it then I’d say go for it, and good luck ^^
Sissy workout!!!
Theres no secret to toned legs and a round butt! I wanted to send this to sissies in case they were wondering what a sissy like me does to work towards toned legs and butt. All of the exercises can be done at home!! Equipment needed includes:
1. Resistance Band (for donkey kicks)
2. Chair
3. Yoga pad (not needed but nice to have for planks)
Exercise Goes:
1. 10 minute walk to warmup
2. Bulgarian Split Squats
- 3 sets 20 reps each leg
*walk 1 minute to rest between each set
After this walk 2 minutes to rest
3. Sit to Stand Squats or Regular Squats
-3 sets timed two minutes each set
*walk 1 minute to rest between each set
After this walk 2 minutes to rest
4. Reverse Lunges
-3 sets timed two minutes each set
*walk 1 minute to rest between each set
After this walk 2 minutes to rest
5. Donkey Kicks
- 3 sets 20 reps each leg
*walk 1 minute to rest between each set
After this walk 2 minutes to rest
6. Plank
-2 sets as long as you can hold it!
*walk 1 minute to rest between each set
7. Walk (30 minutes)
Done!
This has helped me get a rounder butt, id love to hear from others what they do to achieve the figure they desire!
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