Something About How The "evil" Half Of Double Black Are The Ones Who Push It Onto The Next Generation.

I would say that bsd gets so many people into classic literature but to be fair I think it attracts the type of people who would get into it anyway and just needed an excuse.

Ok so we all just know Chuuya went to see Wicked in theaters and decided to make Defying Gravity his theme song.

He's battling an enemy, and he suddenly disappears. Next thing you know, there's a disembodied voice-

"Something has changed within me..."

The enemy turns around, but he can't find him.

"Something is not the same..."

And this keeps going until Chuuya signals for one of his subordinates to hit the light so the enemy can see him standing on the ceiling as he belts:

"I THINK I'LL TRY DEFYING GRAVITYYYYY"

He's still singing it on the car ride home.

Ok so I just read chapter 119 and aside from the fact that I will need extensive therapy after this, why is no one talking about the parallels from when Akutagawa showed up in this chapter and his first appearance???

When he is first introduced, it's as a murderer, a villain. He's come to kill, and he doesn't have any qualms about it. He doesn't care about life, not that of others or his own.

But-

Now, he's a savoir. He's essentially saying the same thing (translation differences, I'm pretty sure it's meant to be the same thing), but now he's not a heartless murderer. He's a hero, a protector. He's telling his enemies to fear death, because he will fight for the innocent souls. Honestly, the parallels are so genius (and quite frankly, one of the only parts of this chapter that doesn't make me want to sob in a corner). He's GROWN. He's not the same Akutagawa he used to be. Here's to fight for life and to protect it.

Oh and don't even get me started on Dazai. What he did would make way more sense coming straight from the Mafia, letting everyone kill each other. It doesn't feel like something Dazai would have done already being with the Agency for two years, and he's never killed anyone in present (he tried with Fyodor but...yeah. Also it's fyodor it's fair). And then him talking to Kunikida about the dangers of his ideals...it's all things that would make sense happening after he recently met Kunikida, not someone who's been in this organization for two years now.

Having the events of Dazai's entrance exam take place before the start of the series rather than during it really makes Kunikida's character make so much more sense. Specifically why, at the beginning of the series, he was really hesitant to save Atsushi, or have Atsushi save Kyouka. It's not out of rudeness or apathy. He won't let himself care, because he tried before. He tried to bring up a kid that had a bad life, and it only ended in failure. The events of the Azure Messenger arc really shape Kunikida's character into being someone who wishes he was a hero, but isn't. That he can't save everyone. So when Dazai saves Atsushi, at first, Kunikida doesn't want to grow close or allow himself to care because he feels that this too is only going to end in failure. Hence what he tells Atsushi about he and Kyouka both drowning if there isn't enough room on the boat (the metaphor admittedly makes more sense when he said it). It just adds so much in respect to his character if it happened before the events of the series as opposed to during it, because then it just makes Kunikida out to be super uncaring. But he's not. He just doesn't want to get his hopes up until he can truly accept the fact that this time, it might end better.

Ok so my brain did a thing-

Concept: on a mission, Chuuya gets turned into a dog (you'll never guess which breed), and dog Chuuya immediately seeks out the Agency, specifically Dazai, so he can touch him and return him to normal. However, Dazai hates dogs and refuses to associate with him. Meanwhile, the Agency practically adopts him, Atsushi the most out of all of them, and eventually Chuuya just gets comfortable there, finally being taken care of instead of the other way around. He still trailed Dazai around the most, but he gave up and just started enjoying it. Until Atsushi finally convinces a very reluctant Dazai to pet him and it's just. Chuuya

Natsuko Hirose & Luke Braveheart Dynamic Analysis

Few episodes ago, Luke Braveheart monologued about how despair had him all cornered to the point he lost sight of his purpose and dare I say his will to live all along. He was born and instantly got bestowed with the title of a "Hero" a weight that no child should bear. He spent 18 years of his life mastering the arts of the sword, discarding everything that made him /him/ His aspirations, his hobbies, his interests, the things he hates, the things he loves and his dreams. None of it mattered. He had to be a hero for everyone. He is a Hero and he'll be nothing but a Hero. For 18 years, all he did and kept doing was slashing and shedding blood. He had to think of nothing but the safety of his people. After all, he is a beacon of Hope to them and not by choice.

But no matter how many foes he executed, there was no end to them. It was a cycle of killing and having to kill some more, with no light at the end of the tunnel in sight. A perpetual vicious cycle of hopelessness and helplessness is what all of this was. But Luke held onto Hope that eventually all things come to an end, good and bad. Surely, there will come a day where these foes will cease to be and that the world will finally know respite and peace. Surely, he'll be able to step down from this daunting title that has been forced on him. That he'll be able to live the rest of his life as plain Luke. Just Luke.

But none of that happened. He kept slitting and slashing and killing endlessly. With each wave, an ally, a dear friend, a family member dies. Luke had to be the witness of so many tragedies. Friends that once used to brim with so much life and vigor reduced into lifeless chunks of meat. He had to bear witness to all of that. In a way, the universe was mocking him and the title that he had to bear.

Deep down, he was aware of the cruel harsh cold reality he was in but decided against admitting it. Until he reached a wall. A realization that all of this isn't worth it anymore. This whole Hero act led them nowhere. The monsters kept coming in tremendous waves. People kept getting annihilated. Friends kept leaving him. He was on his own like he's always been. There was absolutely no hope in sight. What was he fighting for? Who was he protecting exactly? Why even bother when everything's been in a continuous state of stagnation? With each wave, his sanity slowly but steadily slipping away until he was met with nothing but dread. Dread of living and state of existentialism.

What was he there for? What was his purpose? Why was he brought upon this world? To bring it salvation when there was none to begin with? When the world was doomed from the get go, clearly mocking him? Everything is pointless. Protecting the Soul Crystal is pointless. In fact, it is the very thing that brought tragedy and agony upon them. Once represented Hope for the nation, now turned into a symbol of Despair. It is the cause of their woes. His woes. It is the reason he was stripped away from living his youth, from being a normal person. Forcefully put on a pedestal with humongous expectations only to fail them. Luke Braveheart found solace in the act of bringing an end to the source of his suffering, The Soul Crystal, pronouncing the end of the world. Its "salvation". He almost committed the deed. He was impossibly close to achieving it. But the unexpected happened. Natsuko happened, popped up out of nowhere, from nowhere, no amount of fortune telling or prophetic visions could possibly foretell the coming of Natsuko.

She came and brought the "reason" and the "purpose" but more importantly, the "person" of Luke. The phrase may sound awkward but it's intentionally written that way. Luke solely dedicated his entire life defeating abominable beings leaving no room to know anything about himself. His own person.

Through Natsuko, he learned and realized that he has a talent for cooking. He enjoys baking myriad of dishes, traditional meals and even those beyond the scope of his own world. He learned that he has knack for making hairdos and coming up with creative hairstyles for Natsuko. He learned that he enjoys seeing his friends all happy and merry when they taste his food. He learned that he enjoys gardening and looking after all the plants and flowers that color his palace. He learned that he has it in himself to have fun even on the battlefield. He learned that he could slow down and take a deep breather. He realized that he could appreciate the little things that bring him joy and mirth. He realized that he could step down from being a Hero even if it's temporary. That he could finally be himself for a while. That he could learn about who Luke Braveheart is.

But the biggest realization akin to an epiphany hit him so hard and it was that he has learned what being in love is and experienced it. He, who was stripped away from the most basic things an average person could experience, finally was able to learn what First Love was. For he fell in love with the very "reason", the very "purpose" and the very "person" who showed up in front of him seemingly out of nowhere. As if she's a miracle. A blessing. A star illuminating the dark bleak night sky but ultimately fated to fade away.

What was his purpose? Why was the title of "Hero" conferred upon him? What did he fight those atrocious and hideous-looking beings for? What did he live for?

Natsuko. Natsuko is the answer. Natsuko is his "reason" and his "purpose" and thanks to her, he shedded away the blood-stained title and became his own "person". He lives for Natsuko. He fights day in and day out to protect the world that Natsuko lives in. And he will fight till the bitter end just to ensure that Natsuko lives the rest of her life in comfort and serenity. That's what he is here for. That's why he's alive.

The massive burden on him made it so that even in his love declaration, he is self-sacrificial enough to keep the very reason of his being alive at the cost of his very own life. Within that poignant juxtaposition lies the purest form of love. Love. A word that seems to encapsulate Luke and Natsuko's dynamic.

Natsuko, hailing from a foreign land, was thrown into the universe of her favorite childhood movie. A flop of a movie that no one could've fathomed except for Natsuko who was inexplicably drawn to it. Natsuko dedicated her entire life finessing art. That tragic story ignited something in her. A fire to craft her own story. A passion to breathe life into her creations. To breathe life into characters very dear to her heart. She worked, grinded and hyper focused on that goal. Not batting an eye on her surroundings, on those she affected with her contagious zealousness. Unbeknownst to her, several people had experienced their first love because of her but she hadn't. She didn't have the time for that, after all, she had a goal that she was working so hard towards. To no one's surprise, her efforts have paid off and she reached the very pinnacle of her career as an artist and as an animator.

But heavy is the head that wears the crown. With her newfound position as a renowned animation director came taxing expectations and responsibilities. She knows she mustn't disappoint anyone, not her superiors, not the industry she works in and definitely not the fans who are waiting for her next project with bated breath. She mustn't let anyone down cuz she's a prodigy, a virtuoso. And one wrong move could spell the end of her entire career. The pressure weighed on her for years until the crackling sound of fire started to evanish.

What was once unadulterated passion, now morphed into dreadful duty. Natsuko's passion turned into her biggest fear. She couldn't live with herself if that outcome came to be. In fact, she preferred escapism and death over dealing with any of it. She found solace in putting an end to her own life if it meant that she'd run away from the scrutiny of the masses. That's how much of a coward she was.

Art, once a passion, turned into the source of her woes and suffering much like the Soul Crystal was to Luke. Natsuko took it upon herself not to rely on anyone and not to seek any form of help. She was completely submerged in the depths of darkness and despair, especially after being hit with the realization that her creations, her drawings and her art have been the cause of all the chaos and mayhem that befell the nation. Her art became a weapon of destruction rather than a tool of happiness and creativity. That was her state until a certain light has emerged.

Luke Braveheart, a fictional character of a tragic story, was a Hero who had to battle hundreds and thousands of enemies to protect his nation. He lost people who were dear to him but kept persevering until he was met with a fate worse than death. Becoming the Ultimate Void. The very thing he was fighting so hard to prevent from occurring.

Natsuko, back then, was enamored by the tragedy of Luke Braveheart. So much that he pushed her to pursue art. So much that she scribbled his figure million times on her notebook. So much that she could draw him with her eyes closed. So much that all of her allowances and the hard-earned money was spent on buying his merch. So much that her room was filled with nothing but his posters and figurines. So much that she couldn't bat an eye on her surroundings and on the people that she's affected with her passion cuz she was that fixated on Luke Braveheart. So much that she spent all-nighters learning the process of animation just so she could breathe life into Luke, running, walking, fighting and screaming. So much that he is the very "reason", the very "purpose" of which she's an artist. She became the "person" that she is, she reached the pinnacle of her career, she achieved the unthinkable thanks to Luke Braveheart.

Luke Braveheart was her passion, the fire that never ceased to crackle, the very essence of her being. Luke was her first love. Luke was the light that emerged from where she was completely overwhelmed by her own sorrows and woes. Luke Braveheart saved her by giving her a purpose in life. Just like how Natsuko saved Luke by giving him a purpose back.

There's beauty in knowing that Luke and Natsuko share a dynamic where they're both in a perpetual cycle of saving and protecting each other. Granted, Luke is a fictional character and he exists whether Natsuko interferes or not. But indulge me with this when I say that we're talking about Luke Braveheart who is not a fictional character.We're talking about the humble down-to-earth guy who likes cooking and coming up with unique hairdos. The very guy who fell in love with Natsuko. Natsuko saved that guy. But it all circles back to how HE gave her a purpose from the very start, from when she was but a 9-year-old kid. And she treated him in kind by blessing him with one too, without even being aware.

He sought to protect the world she's in yet ended up losing her. So in protest, he cursed the world itself because he lost his very reason of being and living. However, Natsuko is alive, was only temporarily engulfed by the bleak space of her doom and gloom, but she was saved by none other than the reminder that Luke Braveheart is the reason she's alive, the reason she pursued art at all and the source of her passion and joy. So now, it's her turn to emerge like the light he was to her and save him from the brink of self-destruction.

The intricate layer of their bond, the duality of despair and salvation, of burdens and purpose, and how they became each other's reason for being. It is poetry itself. Love as salvation, not just in the romantic sense, but as something deeply transformative and reciprocal. Their dynamic isn’t just about affection; it’s about identity, about rediscovering oneself through another. The way it was framed and told, Luke giving Natsuko a purpose long before she even realized it, and her returning the favor in a way that changed the very fabric of his existence—it is next-level storytelling.

It’s the kind of love that goes beyond the surface, beyond attraction or fleeting emotions. It’s like they were always meant to find each other, even across the barriers of fiction and reality. It is the very definition of soulmatism. Natsuko and Luke's story transcends that of the typical confines of what makes love /love/ and I find that ethereally beautiful and powerful.

Like I said: a lil sass.

I just want to make it clear that Hamas shot and mutilated and burnt alive 38 children on October 7th including seven children under the age of six. They also kidnapped 42 more. Hamas shot and killed one of the child hostages, a 12 year old autistic girl, and her grandma, a few hours after kidnapping them, presumably because they decided that keeping them as hostages would be too much of a hassle because of the girl's disability. They burnt an entire family, including a two year old toddler and twin five year old girls, alive. They shot a different nine month year old baby than the one who is being mourned today in the head. Another 12 year old girl was burnt alive that day along with 13 other civilians who were kidnapped, and her body was so mutilated it took a month to identify her remains. What happened to the Bibas children is not an anomaly. This is the organization that people around the world have chosen to celebrate and the organization that student groups at elite universities globally are choosing to very bluntly support and champion as #resistance against imperialism or colonization or whatever the justification for child murder is today. They are antisemitic terrorists and absolutely nobody has the right to act like what they have done is a shock. They announce over and over that this, Jewish civilian death, is their goal, and they repeatedly attain it because the entire world enables them and celebrates it when they kill Jewish kids.

You know what screw Dazai or any other character's backstory I want the next light novel to be entirely dedicated to exactly when and how Motojiro Kajii discovered he was immune to lemon shaped bombs

Say you break your ankle. You could know everything there is to know intellectually about the injury. Even with this vast knowledge, you will still experience physical pain.

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.

That is to say: you are not a bad, lazy, or selfish person for struggling, even if you know why you are struggling.