So Like.

I like to think that, the first time Dazai met Chuuya, he made fun of Chuuya's height without realizing from his position on the ground that he was only five centimeters taller. And when he did find out, he went "ah. well, in too deep to stop now, ima just go with it" and kept up the short jokes, despite the fact that they were practically the exact. same. height.

Me, in real life: I really hope I didn't say anything to offend them I mean I don't think I did but maybe when they looked away they were hurt god I hope I didn't make them feel the least particle of sadness.

Me, as a writer: Is this emotionally damaging enough? I really hope I can completely and utterly wreck this random person, make them ugly sob into their pillow, absolutely ruin their day in as little words as possible.

Ok so we all just know Chuuya went to see Wicked in theaters and decided to make Defying Gravity his theme song.

He's battling an enemy, and he suddenly disappears. Next thing you know, there's a disembodied voice-

"Something has changed within me..."

The enemy turns around, but he can't find him.

"Something is not the same..."

And this keeps going until Chuuya signals for one of his subordinates to hit the light so the enemy can see him standing on the ceiling as he belts:

"I THINK I'LL TRY DEFYING GRAVITYYYYY"

He's still singing it on the car ride home.

It's the ginger birthday y'all

But like actually though.

Drawings are credit @gigizetz from her Monster animatics on yt! Go check them out!! Song is Monster from Epic the Musical.

A Mysterious Thing Called "The Heart": Akutagawa’s Evolution in Bungo Stray Dogs and again not too detailed but a lot of THOUGHTS

In the latest chapters of Bungo Stray Dogs, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke’s character arc has reached a profound turning point (well it usually does, he has a slow and gradual and good development.) After losing his memories or so it seems, he only regains them in the wake of Atsushi’s self-sacrifice, an event that carries immense weight given their history. This development not only ties back to recurring themes in Akutagawa’s story but also resonates with Asagiri’s earlier work on him, particularly the short story The Heartless Cur. The significance of this title alone—"cur" referring to a stray dog, an outcast—echoes his core struggle with identity, worth, and the pursuit of strength. Now, with the latest manga title, A Mysterious Thing Called "The Heart", we see the final steps of this journey: the realization of what it means to protect, to be selfless, and to truly understand one’s own heart.

The Struggle for Worth: From The Heartless Cur to not quite understanding The Mysterious Heart

Akutagawa has long been plagued by the idea that only the strong have value. His harsh upbringing in the slums and Dazai’s ruthless mentorship reinforced this belief, leading him to adopt a mindset where power dictated one’s worth. The Heartless Cur explores this concept deeply, portraying Akutagawa as someone whose existence is defined by violence and survival. The title itself suggests a being without purpose beyond its primal instincts—an apt metaphor for the way Akutagawa saw himself.

Yet, in the present timeline, something shifts. Akutagawa’s repeated confrontations with Atsushi force him to acknowledge a different kind of strength—one rooted not in destruction and not just in protection, but from within oneself. This realization is crucial, as it reframes his view on what it means to live and fight, and importantly get rid of the Dazai obsession to which I am glad he lost that coat, which to me in a way is like the "watch" in beast for Atsushi. The title of the newest chapter, A Mysterious Thing Called "The Heart", directly contrasts his previous mindset. Where once he believed himself heartless, unworthy, and merely a weapon, he now finds himself understanding the weight of sacrifice, the worth of another’s life, and, ultimately, the meaning of his own (hopefully asagiri doesn't mess this up, but I believe in him so I'm sure all will turn out great just with a lot of lore dump and excessive plot armor with no deaths until wayyy later on. Ahem, but anyways.)

From Selfishness to Selflessness: The Parallel Between Akutagawa and Atsushi

One of the most striking aspects of Akutagawa’s sacrifice is how it mirrors Atsushi’s own. Both characters have operated on deeply ingrained selfish desires—Akutagawa seeking validation through strength, Atsushi yearning for affirmation that he deserves to live through saving. Now I know I mentioned this before, and I keep mentioning it, because to me its important to add. Their growth has always been intertwined, clashing and evolving through their battles. However, the defining moment of Akutagawa’s return to consciousness—when Atsushi sacrifices himself and repeats Akutagawa’s words—highlights a crucial transformation: their shift from selfishness to selflessness. In both of them in a way, even if Atsushi has put his life on the line to save others before it was not quite like he did here, without activating his ability (we're not sure if he really could or couldn't in the moment but lets add that here anyways.) to save Akutagawa at the expense of his own life and survival just as Akutagawa did for him, sacrificing his own life, his own selfish need for survival even if he stated he does not mind death for the knowing the value of anothers' life. I know I said this before too but just let me write.

It’s a moment of complete reversal and similarity as these Yin-Yang boys have always shown, proving that the rival enemies have truly come to understand each other. Akutagawa regaining his memories at this precise moment reinforces the idea that it was just that big of a deal and how impactful his own sacrifice and development was and it shows the same for Atsushi.

The Role of Rashomon: A Shield and a Blade

Rashomon has always been more than just an offensive ability. While it is known for its terrifying destructive power, its defensive capabilities reveal another side of Akutagawa’s character. This duality—destruction and protection—mirrors his own self. Initially, he wielded Rashomon purely as a weapon of aggression, but as he evolved, so too did his ability’s purpose. When he shields not just Rashomon shielding himself but when he raises his blade for others, this is a huge change - though I believe Knight Aku has much to explain especially I hope asagiri tells us if this is a singularity of bram and akutagawa or not. Which may take months. 

This theme of protection is not new. In 55 Minutes, after dying in flames, Akutagawa retained memories that should have been erased—a testament to how deeply certain experiences impact him. Likewise, in his vampire state, he still exhibited a sense of control, sparing Aya and ultimately keeping his promise despite being under mind control. Now I know when it said the heartless dog/emotionless child felt emotion for the first time it was hatred before going on that killing spree. But after all this it does show. These moments underscore a crucial truth: Akutagawa has always had a heart, even when he believed himself heartless or is shown to be.  (I will write more on this in another post, I know I keep saying that too, but it will happen and it will have to do with an interesting thing of Akutagawa's character being written and possibly shown in the "Rashomon Effect" you can research it if you don't know it already.)

The Weight of Words: From the Trembling Dark World

Akutagawa’s theme song, From the Trembling Dark World, captures the essence of his character’s struggles at least what they used to be. The lyrics paint a picture of someone who has always been fighting—against the world, against himself, against the fear of being weak:

"A longing as strong as 

A reason to live even when I’m unable to breathe

From the trembling dark world, always." It may not specifically be his reason to live but this says its "a longing as strong as a reason to live." This reflects the pain and determination that have defined his journey. The idea of pressing forward despite suffering is central to his story, but not just that but it shows just how important again that longing for approval and to be told he is strong and worthy to live is, which we all know funnily enough is what he mocked atsushi for before. Though they are so the same and different and I could go on forever about every little detail of their sentences to each other but not now, unfortunately. Another significant line is:

"Unreachable no matter how much I writhe."

Dazai’s influence is evident here (when is it not when it comes to Akutagawa?). Akutagawa was shaped by the expectation that he had to be strong to matter, that to stop moving forward was to be left behind. Yet, the lyrics also suggest a yearning for something beyond this endless struggle.

The song’s repetitive line is particularly poignant:

"Weak, weak and it's not enough."

This shows us a lot, or well kind of, within the last chapter in the manga and besides his endless yearning for strength and Dazais acknowledgement which is meant by this line in the song back probably around 8 or more years ago... His willingness to die not for power or recognition but for someone else’s survival is the ultimate proof that he has changed. The once "heartless cur" has found his heart—not in words, but in action. Funnily enough before he died he had a nice conversation with Fukuchi on what his last words would be, and he said he prefers actions, but what do we get... "Away with you...you fool." 

Lets also not forget how important this cycles and webs are of connection, manipulation, abuse etc. But considering that, remember how Akutagawa threatened Kyouka with getting thrown into a dark world/slums? How he described it... Well I need to re-read and get a better perspective or coherent thoughts on it but I'm sure it was said that Dazai threatened him with the same thing, to be sent back if he didn't do good. Which would of course make Akutagawa all the more "grateful" for being taken in and trained to be "strong" because like he's seen all his life only the strong survive, and the worthy get to live at the "top" of the world. Its funny how this kind of even gets added into his likes as the things he likes are very refined so to say, to show he is no longer down there. But I see how Dazai probably saw a piece of himself in Akutagawa, killing, empty eyes, looking for a reason to live - and decided to try and give him one in the way he knew too. At that time Dazai was in the Port Mafia he was a very different Dazai from the ADA one, his methods and his ideas...all quite different that its obvious what happened there with him and Akutagawa. And how Akutagawa saw himself in Kyoula (interesting she was 11 or around there when she joined wasn't it or was it 12-13? similarly to when dazai found Akutagawa) he said he saw the same eyes he knows, because he too had the same eyes. But now she has found the light, and a reason for living besides killing, a place to belong that doesn't hurt her constantly. (While he got that yes, but the place he belonged was void of the person he was waiting for approval from, and it definitely did not help in his mental state and health or help him much in any ways as the ADA did for Kyouka as we see his eyes are still the same, dark but now with determination.

Also a random mention to later chapters just because Akutagawas eyes are important to me (as everything in his character is important to me.) 

And perhaps, in the end, he was never truly heartless—he just needed someone to remind him that his heart was always there, waiting to be acknowledged. Kind of like Yosano who was used for her ability, but never had her kindness acknowledged until Ranpo invited her to the Agency. 

(Also random thing to add but I enjoy canon way too much to consume too much fanon content so I prefer keeping away most of the time so I can keep my thoughts and theories/analysis of things clear and to do with canon so things don't get blurred or messed up or have mischaracterization or information errors. But if you do find any or have anything to say about it please do.)

I wrote before about his eyes in another post probably twice or more times as I always like mentioning it... But just to add:

On a side note I feel like Harukawa was talking about Tanizaki who we know will soon probably have more relevance with Naomi or something.

His eyes always turn completely dark. And he was said to be good enough to be in the mafia before. Not to mention when Yosano said she wouldn't go back he offered to go. And reading back Harukawa said that mostly those in the PM are like this. But anyways. Hope the rambling ended up alright, I'll end the series of thoughts and analyzing for now.

~ Hope your brain isn't as fried as mine, end of The Akutagawa Fan, Charkoala, Caldera posting until the next few hours.

ATTENTION ALL

DANNY MOTTA IS GOING TO REACT TO EPIC THE MUSICAL THIS IS THE SECOND BEST DAY EVER (THE BEST DAY WILL BE THE DAY OF THE REACTION)

Say you break your ankle. You could know everything there is to know intellectually about the injury. Even with this vast knowledge, you will still experience physical pain.

Now take this logic and apply it to things like ADHD, autism, clinical depression, and other less visible/divergent disabilities. You cannot think your way out of feeling.

That is to say: you are not a bad, lazy, or selfish person for struggling, even if you know why you are struggling.

Thinking about how Dazai was the first person not to use Chuuya for his power. Thinking about how when they first met, Dazai kept telling Chuuya that he's just a kid. Thinking about how he was the only one who believed all along that Chuuya was a human. Thinking about how he's the one who stops Chuuya's power from corrupting him whole.

Thinking about Chuuya trusting Dazai, even after four years apart. Thinking about him turning to him and asking for the plan, even though they hadn't fought together in years. Thinking about him being willing to sacrifice himself on the sole belief that Dazai was alive, despite all evidence suggesting otherwise. Thinking about-

Chuuya's backstory is so insane because like, any one event from 15-Stormbringer would be enough to constitute a lesser man's entire tragic backstory. Heck, that one scene from Dead Apple where you learn six of his friends died would be enough to be a tragic backstory. Grew up on the streets, forced to become the leader of a group of children who only saw you as a weapon, struggling with your own humanity, betrayal, five friends being brutally murdered because of you, even the detective who wanted to bring him out of the Mafia dying could be enough of a backstory, and I haven't even gotten to the torture yet. But Chuuya's just special like that.