now, i absolutely should be studying. but.
i have officially gotten to a place where i romanticize my own existence.
the way my shoes dirty and scuff after a day across campus
the way the leaves fall around me when i walk under trees
the way my spotify playlist is curated to exactly what i want to hear
the way my t voice still crackles sometimes
i am so, so happy to be alive.
dear all transqueers struggling to be alive: i love you so much. i love us so much. you can find happiness <3
hey. to the fat person reading this who wants to transition or is transitioning. make your transition goals fat like you. please. the things you aim to gain from transition can be gained while fat. you can be/express your gender and be fat. there is nothing wrong with that, no matter what anyone says. i promise.
let yourself exist. let yourself be happy. you have just as much of a right as every other person in this world to do that, especially as you transition. it's okay. you're going to be alright, and you're also going to look fucking awesome. you already look fucking awesome. it's your body. own it.
one star magnolia for @punkitt-is-here! they were sooooo fun to draw, i love star motifs so so much :O)
huge shoutout to the guy at the bar who said “i like your dress maam” and when i was like. i’m a man but thank you! he was like “oh shit i like your dress homie” i love you forever
whats cool about being trans is my parents are totally right. i did kill their beautiful son. im the thing that animates his corpse in an ever more convincing parody of a happy girl. i devoured him from the inside out and now there is nothing left of him and he is dead dead dead and there is only me, with my hollow eyes and dark eyeliner and long hair, and my big smile. my limp, effeminate gestures belie the marionetting of the boy they loved. my fagginess is his death. already his body becomes a fitter home for my parasitism in full; the tits, the hips, the thighs. sorry about your kid. thanks for the biomass <3
Unfriendly reminder that while you're busy mourning the loss of your childs old gender, claiming you need to mourn the death of your son/daughter, there's a group of boys/girls/enbies scrambling to take your kid clothes shopping, snatching up the chance to take those "first" experiences from you forever. Your sons first fishing trip is gonna be with his best bros, your daughters first makeover is going to be with her girl friends, your kids first camping trip out as themselves is gonna be with the besties. Good luck getting those bonding experiences back. While you're busy trying to guilt-trip your kid with your weird manufactured parental trauma, there's a whole community ready to take your place as the better family.
Your loss, someone elses gain.
...yes this is about the adhd and transsexuality.
Yet another reminder that faking is a conscious choice that you make.
It is not something you can do accidentally, regards of what you're talking about.
You can't accidentally fake depression, or anxiety, or bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, or any other mental illness.
You can't accidentally fake Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, personality disorders.
You can't accidentally fake ADHD, autism, Tourette's Syndrome, auditory processing disorder, aphasia or any other neurodivergence
You can't accidentally fake being trans or ace-spec or aro-spec or any other LGBTQIA+ identity.
You can't accidentally fake chronic illnesses like CFS, fibromyalgia or any chronic illness.
You also can't accidentally fake being good/intelligent at something. You didn't fool your peers into reaching your position.
You can't accidentally fake trauma, PTSD/cPTSD, DID/OSDD/DDNOS or any other trauma-based disorder.
Tldr:
Faking is a conscious choice.
You cannot do it by accident.
If you are worried that you are faking, that in itself is proof that you are not.
i blog for the ppl in their 20s being slowly driven insane by living with parents theyre closeted to ONLY!!!!
First entry in a while, huh?
I hit a local barbershop on Monday and got my beard shaved off. Looking in the mirror for the next day or 2 kept making 🎶the person in the mirror isn’t me🎶 pop into my head, but since that’s passed, I think it was a reaction to not having that level of protection from weight shit (since that aspect is still here) and not a bad reaction to taking the next step in social transition.
Still dreading the inevitable coming out convo w/ my parents, and still stressing over writing the transname letter to my profs, but nothing so far is dissuading me from transition: I felt (and still actively feel) happier than (almost certainly) I felt all summer. I think this is the right choice, I just need to get over non-trans-related appearance fears to be really happy.