I Just Think It's Neat That Odysseus Gets Put In A Position Where He Has To Kill His Child To Avoid Going

Now. Now I mean it sexually.

Thanks anon!

The Office but it's the Batfamily.

Bernard (To the camera): I think Bruce hates me.

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Bruce (to the camera): I am very glad Tim, found himself dating someone. I don't think there's someone who would ever be enough to any of my children.

Bruce: But he is happy. So I am happy as well.

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Bernard, invited over to dinner: That's. . . Um, A very nice mansion you have here sir. Really big. Big enough to hide an secret passage to clones but–

Tim, gesturing to him to shut the fuck up: HAHAHAHA ISN'T HE FUNNY?! (whispering) ᴮᵉʳⁿᵃʳᵈ ᴵ ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒᵈ.

Bernard: WhichI'mnotimplyingyoudoanyway. But– IT'S NICE. Really nice. Thanks for uh inviting. . . Me.

Bruce, glaring: Hn.

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Bruce (to the camera): Dick told me to make a "chit-chat". Be sure that our guest felt welcomed.

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Bruce (to Bernard): Did you gave it a thought about your internship yet? When I started medical school I had a great interest on how Gotham's Hospital deals with post mortem patients.

Bernard:

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Bruce (to the camera): I tried to find a common ground to make conversation. We both had similar majors, even though I've drop out

Bruce: I'm glad it was enough for a good starter.

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Bernard (to the camera horrified): He wants me dead.

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Dick (to the camera): HOW WOULD I KNOW HE WOULD PULL UP THE SERIAL KILLER TALK??–

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Steph (to the camera): There's something really uncanny in seen it happen to another person.

Steph: And also really fucking funny too.

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Kory (to the camera): The first time I got there I'm pretty sure was the time he made a contingency plan for me.

Kory: Which is cute. He thinking it would work but– Yeah.

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Barbara (to the camera): Me and Dick? Oh he stopped talking to me for several weeks.

Barbara: When he did, he said "You are making a mistake".

Barbara:

Barbara: Don't you hate when he is right?

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Kon (to the camera): I wasn't aloud to enter the house– I when I dated Cass, so–

Kon: Not that stopped me. But it still hurts.

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Cass (to the camera), shrugging: I liked his piercings.

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Bernard: . . . I didn't– Yet. No sir. I'm just, huh. . . Going with the flow?

Bruce: That's unfortunate. It's really important to always have a plan.

Bernard (gulps): You think?

Bruce: Yes. You never know what might happens next.

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Damian (to the camera): It was the best dinner I've ever attended in this house.

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Tim (to the camera): *Loud sight* I don't know what I was expecting.

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Jason (to the camera): Are we really just going to pass on how his boyfriend looks like a knock off Scooby-doo member?

Jason: Like he is rocking a StarStruck haircut– And we just?– Okay.

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Dick (to the camera): I mean it's not like Bruce is doing on purpose right?

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Bruce, grinning to the camera: Hn.

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Duke (to the camera): Oh he's absolutely doing on purpose.

ladybug accidentally thirst qrts a tweet w pics of chat noir that she meant to PRIVATE quote retweet but she was sloppy and sleep deprived so she deletes it the second alya spam calls her about what the fuck she just did to the internet and then she goes on record to say that she was HACKED -> stay safe out there u guys!! remember ur 2 factor authentification!!! the next day the ladyblog releases a poll asking the people whether they think she was hacked or not. 99.9% no votes (the two yeses were ladybug herself and chat noir after she bullied him during patrol but he made like 20 spam accounts to vote no when he went home)

This concept has been stuck in my head for far longer than I'd like to admit tbh

Bonus:

Bonus Bonus:

Bonus... Bonus Bonus.....:

Source

Great Mouse Detective version of Dracula happening simultaneously as the events of Dracula, so there’s just five mice in Victorian clothes unnoticed by the human cast desperately trying to kill a bat.

One more joke hate: You may claim to be a woman but biologically you are a featherless biped and thus a man.

Finally a good argument for why I'm actually a man

There's definitely some story mileage in a British dude with no cultural sensitivity whatsoever still wanting to return every artifact that Britain has ever stolen out of pure self-interest because one of those motherfuckers is Maximally Cursed and he can't tell which

@duckbunny on wanting to live

companion weave