This Concept Has Been Stuck In My Head For Far Longer Than I'd Like To Admit Tbh

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

via

Elves (and other long lived fantasy races) as serial monogamists who have set end dates for their marriages; your first marriage contract is set for 50 years, and you can renew it if you're still happy by the end of it- but if not, or if you just want to try something new, you can part ways amicably and move on.

A second marriage is supposed to last longer (you should know what you like now that you've had practice with your first!) but you need a 'cooling off' period between marriages so many people don't get second married until their late 100's or early 200's... and of course you want to match with someone who is also on their second marriage, though 'mixed' marriages do occur. The calculations for the appropriate end date of a marriage based on age and previous status is a complex affair.

In the later stages mixed marriages are less of a problem and often considered ideal- towards the end of one's life one wants a slightly younger partner to be able to take care of them after all. Young enough that they'll have time to find a 'ending' partner of their own once their current spouse has passed, but not so young that they at completely different stages of life. Match makers are much more common for older folks than younger ones for this reason.

Of course this also creates avenues for unique tropes in the elven romantic annals. Star Crossed lovers who found each other when one was near the end and the other was just beginning; remarrying your first partner centuries later as you realize they were what you wanted all along; people coming to the end of their marriage who realize they don't want it to end- but does their partner feel the same???

The complex web of previous marriages this creates in elven societies is also a font for drama, and elves need to keep track of their various step parents and half siblings to avoid crossing family lines- (yet another reason not to date to far outside your age range). Nothing is more awkward than bringing home a new partner only to realize they're your mother's first wife.

mutual 1: I want to turn that man's prostate into silly putty

mutual 2: here's smth i doodled during science class lol

mutual 3: pls remember that you personally can drink milk and still be a lactose intolerance ally!! anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't know their history :]

mutual 4: fucking a robot girl in the ass call that backend programming

mutual 5: holy shit I need him so fucking bad holy shit holyyy shit oh my god

mutual 6: anyone get kind of horny putting the ignition key in the car....it's so intimate....turning him on....

mutual 7: so lets talk about where scrimblo's arc is realistically going- I know a lot of people are trying to argue that he's being manipulated but this ignores the fact that there is clearly unresolved conflict between him and bleebus about their moralities

mutual 8: happy propeller penis thursday

mutual 9: "scrimblo and bleebus need to discuss their morality" god forbid a pathetic boywife does some torture 🙄🙄

mutual 10: WHO IS HYPED FOR THE NEW ALBUM LETS FUCKING GO

mutual 11: guys we're not getting a new album

mutual 12: please stop sending me death threats

mutual 13: why is my whole dash talking about this band I don't even listen to.....

mutual 14: hey boy nice knife wound can i put my tongue in it

mutual 15: i'm going to fall into lake michigan

The pit

Based on a clip from the @comicaurora OSPodcast special episode.

There's definitely some story mileage in a British dude with no cultural sensitivity whatsoever still wanting to return every artifact that Britain has ever stolen out of pure self-interest because one of those motherfuckers is Maximally Cursed and he can't tell which

Batfamily Tumblr Shitpost Memes

Started working nightshifts sorting mail awhile ago, and i accidentally got into warhammer because i ran out of normal audiobooks to listen to while sorting packages, so heres some memes about some old robot skeletons going through a divorce i made for my partner in no particular order