(Idealism Is A Disease) By Joud Abu Rashed

(Idealism is a disease) by joud abu rashed

image

Idealism is a disease

Once it enters your system it feeds off of your mistakes

It spreads like a wildfire making you quake

Symptom after symptom you start to hallucinate

A thought becomes a reality

There’s no real definition of actuality

All you can do is live in brutality

And endure that cruelty

There’s no one to blame but that little voice in your head

Making you wish on sweet death

Whispering to you as if it was your own closest friend

The doctors say there’s a cure

One that’s pure

But there’s a price

First you have to apologize

To the body you forced to idealize 

A vulnerable state of you past mistakes

Drowning you in a lake

The water reflects an image of grief and regret  

As it overwhelms you slowly you start to forget

A cold breeze of acceptance washes all over you

A warm feeling is new

A smile takes over you

Now you are cured.

this poem speaks about my struggles with anxiety and perfectionism. I hope you find a sense of comfort in it 

More Posts from Yamaguchikinnie and Others

3 years ago

كُلُّ ابْنِ آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ

"Every son of Adam sins, and the best of the sinners are the repentant."

Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2499

3 years ago
— But… The Sensation That I’ve Lost Something Lingers For A Long Time After I Wake Up. YOUR NAME
— But… The Sensation That I’ve Lost Something Lingers For A Long Time After I Wake Up. YOUR NAME
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— But… The Sensation That I’ve Lost Something Lingers For A Long Time After I Wake Up. YOUR NAME
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— But… the sensation that I’ve lost something lingers for a long time after I wake up. YOUR NAME (2016) dir. Makoto Shinkai

2 years ago
Mahmoud Darwish, Tr. By Fady Joudah, From The Butterfly’s Burden; “Take My Horse And Slaughter It”

Mahmoud Darwish, tr. by Fady Joudah, from The Butterfly’s Burden; “Take my horse and slaughter it”

2 years ago

A gentle person is always beautiful.

3 years ago

attack on titian review

Attack On Titian review

In the early 2000s, a college student named Hajime Isayama was working in a café when suddenly someone grabbed him by the collar violently. It was this, “the fear of meeting a person I can't communicate with,” that inspired a brilliant idea of writing what now would be the best anime of the decade. Attack on Titan is a dark fantasy manga (Japanese comic) that got turned into an anime. The anime gained a lot of popularity very rapidly and for a good reason. The show hurt me, it broke me in the most beautiful way, every episode left me with so many unanswered questions, every episode left a big impact on me as a person, it changed my sense of morality, the way I view life, it truly took me the whole new perspective.

Now theirs a lot of reason A.O.T is good but some of the main ones are:

The main storyline:

The anime/manga is set in a world where humanity lives peacefully inside cities surrounded by three enormous worshiped walls that have been built for a century, these walls protect them from a gigantic man eating creatures called titans, one day unexpectedly a titan larger than the 3rd outer wall (wall Maria) breaks it causing chaos destruction and fear leaving other titans to enter, titans start devouring humans at high rates as the main character Eren Jagear and his friends try to find his mother so they can enter the second wall and seek coverage but it’s too late, he watches as his own mother gets eaten alive, her shoe drooping symbolizing her leaving her son behind, in that very moment Eren swears that he’ll take revenge and slaughter all titans and give humanity hope for freedom since he’s always looked at the walls as if they are cages blocking him from the outer world ( it’s pretty ironic since the walls are what used to protect them ) then the real story begins following him entering the scouts regiment building relationships with other characters, and very unexpected plots that will change the whole course of the story.

  The well written characters:

Attack on titan by far has the best written characters. each character has their own unique personality, different interest, different point of views, a motive and a dream, weaknesses and strengths, yet they all are relatable and have one thing in common; they all are trying to survive or save their loved ones at least. We always see them learning and improving from each other, even balancing each other.  For example Armin lacks physical strength yet he has a good head on his shoulder while Eren is the opposite, he tends to let his emotions and humanity take over him. And in one scene Eren was refusing to kill Annie even if it was self defense thinking it was inhumane as he heard those words “To surpass monsters, you must be willing to abandon your humanity.” – Armin Alert. The story is also shown from every character point of view and that left us wondering if maybe Eren is in the wrong, maybe he’s the bad guy . Yet in the same time he’s the hero? The story is the same yet the point of views are changed and the audience are left to think for themselves, and the change of him from being the oppressed to being the oppressor was brilliant. The whole story was a big example of ‘’I can’t blame you nor you can blame me’’.              

As Armin once said “A good person? Well… I don’t really like that term. Because to me, it just seems to mean someone who’s good for you. And I don’t think there’s any one person who’s good for everyone.”

Diversity and awareness:

growing up it was hard for me to relate to characters, there wasn’t any diversity whatsoever. Male characters were superior while female characters were never taken seriously, not mention they always had to live up to the white beauty standards that were limiting to so many children. In attack on titan  they empowered all genders, personalities, bodies, races , and they did it in a proper way to show awareness for example every female character wasn’t sexualized nor objectified like most shows do and were written as proper humans with feeling and motives they were also respected an seen as equals with the male characters sometimes even stronger , as for appearance we see both woman and men with different unique features , a lot of the characters have a hooked/roman  noses, the strongest character is also the shortest,  Onyankopon is a dark-skinned man with black hair styled in a short crew cut and when someone asked him why his skin was dark showing ignores he simply answered by saying: because our creator thought it would be interesting if there was a mix of people, we got created cause we were wanted. The anime also explores other issues like parental abuse, in one seen a character was screaming calling out to her father apologizing while getting eaten by a titan and screaming this was a sign of trauma caused by her father’s abuse in the past. In other scenes we see parents manipulating their children or guilt tripping them into doing what they want for example historia and annie, Another thing the show raised awareness towards governmental corruption the show showed people abusing their authority multiple times and in one seen a  we see a soldier with access to governmental equipment selling them illegally. The government also had a history of lying to the citizens and hurting those who were brave enough speak the truth (Erwin’s father was killed) In season 2 the government falsely accused the 104 cadets by committing crimes against the crown and they sent people to kill them illegally just because they were discovering the truth. The list goes on and on of the governments greediness.                                                                                                                

The dark themes and mixed emotions:

“The world is merciless, and it's also very beautiful.”- Mikasa.  as I said before the show showed some serious problems and the dark realistic sides  the world in general and with these situations we are bound to get a lot of emotions like regret , feeling used, hopelessness, feeling stuck, losing touch with humanity, losing sight of you goals , betrayal, and more yet in the same time the show showed that in darkness there’s always some light , you see people stuck in a conflict find that they’re actually very similar to each other and becoming lovers, we see Armin achieving his long dream of wanting to see the ocean in with his own eyes , we see characters improving to the best version of themselves . The anime ended with our lovable main character dying and getting buried under the same tree he would sit under with the person he loved the most before the war, which was truly a bittersweet ending.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Attack on titian was very bittersweet and an emotional roller-coaster and it hurt me in the most beautiful way possible, it changed my morals, my views on life, it helped me learn valuable lessons. The anime is a masterpiece and I recommend it for everyone Possible.


Tags
2 years ago

you are still learning. you are still changing. you are still growing. breathe. you will find your way.

Unknown (via perfectquote)

2 years ago
Susan Sontag, From “Reborn: Journals And Notebooks, 1947-1963″

Susan Sontag, from “Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963″

2 years ago
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—
A Rainbow Of Van Gogh—

a rainbow of van gogh—

in order: Peach Tree in Bloom (in memory of Mauve), 1888 / Red Poppies and Daisies, 1890 / Willows at Sunset, 1888 / The Sower (Sower with Setting Sun), 1888 / Undergrowth with Two Figures, 1890 / Landscape with Couple Walking and Crescent Moon, 1890 / Branches with Almond Blossom, 1890 / Starry Night Over the Rhone, 1888 / Irises, 1889 / Wheat Field With Cypresses, 1889

3 years ago

Eating toast for dinner instead of cooking is better than not eating anything at all.

Using mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth is better than not taking care of your teeth at all.

Wiping yourself with a damp cloth or baby wipe instead of showering is better than not bathing at all.

Doing only one out of five assignments you need to turn in is better than not submitting anything at all.

Talking to a loved one on the phone is better than not talking to anyone at all.

Playing your favorite video game, listening to good music, or reading a book instead of "grinding" is better than not doing anything at all.

Don't beat yourself up for not being "productive enough". A little productivity is still productivity.

1 year ago
على متن حقيبة - ندى ناصر

على متن حقيبة - ندى ناصر

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yamaguchikinnie - joud writes
joud writes

whats life with no imagination

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