Sevika + Smoking

stubborn love 

warnings: angst, jealousy, slow burn?

pairing: ellie williams x reader

 the day you came to jackson was probably the best day of your life, you were fifteen years old and never had a real home until you became a part of this friendly community, you were on the road with your brother when you ran into tommy who offered you to come back with him to jackson. 

you were a little scared and nervous to follow a complete stranger somewhere but your brother convinced you that everything was going to be fine and it was. you remember how fascinated you were with everything that jackson had to offer. you were a little anxious when you saw so many people but then you met ellie and you knew that you were going to be just fine.

Weiterlesen

Me playing The Last of Us: Left Behind for the 7th time: but what if this time Riley doesn't get bitten???

Me every time:

TLOU meme dump: Joel edition

hey i played tlou and left behind recently so heres these two lil gals

what if 🤔 you defeated me in battle 😔 and when you tilted my head up with your blade beneath my chin 🗡️ we accidentally kissed 💋😳

Joel did not doom humanity (no matter how much the second game wants you to believe that)

To demonize Joel’s decision at the end of the first game (saving his surrogate daughter’s life) you need to bend over backwards and ignore any and all context the first game gave us with regards to who the Fireflies truly are. Because the truth of the matter is: a) they knocked Joel unconscious while he was trying to revive a young girl b) they drugged Ellie immediately to tear her body apart for their needs c) THEY DID NOT ASK ELLIE FOR PERMISSION to give her life for their cause, they didn’t even tell her she would have to die (Ellie was making plans with Joel after the giraffe scene, “Once we're done, we'll go wherever you want. Okay?”, clearly indicating she had no idea she would have to die) d) they did not let Ellie and Joel see each other to say their goodbyes e) they were about to walk Joel out into the wilderness without any of his gear/resources, which during the zombie apocalypse is a certain death sentence f) they didn’t hold up their end of the bargain (remember how Marlene promised Joel guns in return for delivering Ellie?) So even if you show them as much goodwill as possible, the Fireflies are still a bunch of assholes. If the exact opposite had happened, they let Joel go all on good terms and then he suddenly decided to turn around and murder everyone I would have called him a terrible person, but that is not what happened. As it stands, the Fireflies are shady and questionable at best. But it actually gets worse:

a) the procedure that would 100% kill Ellie had an incredibly low success rate (the doctor mentioned in his recording that every previous operation with other test subjects had failed) b) the same recording mentions cerebrospinal fluid having been extracted, meaning they were capable of performing a non-lethal spinal tab, but they’re unable to perform a non-lethal biopsy or craniotomy on Ellie? (this may seem like nit-picking, but actually further solidifies my point about how incompetent the Fireflies/Abby’s dad were/was) c) to add to their immense incompetence, mere hours after receiving Ellie they decide to IMMEDIATELY KILL THE ONLY PERSON KNOWN TO BE IMMUNE as oppose to keeping her alive for as long as possible to run every single test in existence on her. But let's paint a picture of the best case scenario, which is Jerry, the absolute legend that he is, actually manages to get a vaccine out of Ellie, what happens then? a) How are the Fireflies, who are nearly extinct at this point, supposed to MASS PRODUCE and NATIONWIDE DISTRIBUTE a vaccine? That is logistically impossible. b) More than likely, they would use the vaccine as a bargaining chip against FEDRA (granted, this is more a guess than a fact, but to believe they wouldn’t take advantage of the vaccine in the fight for political power against the government they’ve been fighting for years is beyond naïve). But let’s be even more generous: turns out the Fireflies are the most altruistic resistance group to have ever existed, they actually manage to produce and distribute the vaccine into every last corner of the country, everyone is immune. What now? a) You might be immune to spores and bites, but your immunity doesn’t help you when a clicker rips your throat out or a bloater crushes you to death, the infected can still kill you in numerous other ways. b) The faction wars going on are not gonna disappear overnight. WLF and Seraphites will continue to kill each other by the dozens every day, one could even argue that introducing a vaccine into the conflict would only cause things to escalate further. c) Numerous cannibals, hunters and bandits still roam the country, they will not abandon their practices overnight and they are arguably a much bigger threat than the infected to begin with. Just because everyone is immune does not mean that the world returns to sunshine, rainbows, and flowers. To imply that it would, means being simplistic and naive beyond reason. It should be obvious by now that Ellie’s death WOULD NOT HAVE IMPROVED ANYTHING. The chances of actually getting a vaccine are slim to none, the chances of vaccinating everyone are even more dour, and even then the overall situation would not improve much. With such bad prospects I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice my child either. (I am aware that an argument can be made that none of these factors had an impact on Joel’s decision to save Ellie, yet they’re still crucial when making a judgement about the Fireflies/Abby’s dad). To summarize: a) Abby’s dad was incompetent and a horrible person (his conversation with Abby in the second game tells us that he would not be willing to sacrifice his own child, but if it’s someone else’s it’s a-okay for him). b) The Fireflies were a malicious and incompetent terrorist group with messed up morals. c) No, Joel did not doom humanity. Subsequently, Abby’s quest for revenge was not justified because the Fireflies and her dad were never justified in their actions to begin with. And this is only solidified by the second game having to retcon the hell out of all these arguments I just painstakingly illustrated and explained in order to even attempt to have Abby’s motivation be seen as justified. Only one example being how it was clearly established in the first game that they had MULTIPLE doctors in Salt Lake City (Marlene: “The doctors tell me that the cordyceps, the growth inside her, has somehow mutated.”; Ellie: “She said that they have their own little quarantine zone. With doctors there still trying to find a cure.”). Yet in the second game we are told by

Abby that actually no, turns out her dad was the only doctor that could have developed vaccine. And it doesn't take mental gymnastics to see why the second game takes it upon itself to alter most of the context of the first one: to (retroactively!) condemn Joel. HOWEVER, a sequel doesn’t get to pick and choose which established facts from the first entry it builds upon or what it gets to retroactively declare as non-canon only to have it fit their preferred narrative. Quite frankly, that’s bad writing. A sequel, in order to be considered well-written, has to not only be a natural continuation of the events, but has to stay consistent with the characters and the world that were previously set up. And if you have to alter much of the context to make it look like Joel condemned the world, isn't that the most obvious sign that he never actually did? And all of this effort for just one goal: to justify Abby’s quest for revenge and yet it still wasn’t and here’s why: Joel killed her dad in order to PREVENT HIM FROM KILLING HIS DAUGHTER. Abby on the other hand WILFULLY SLOW TORTURED Joel for what appears to be hours, prolonging his death for as long as possible, all for her own gratification (and we won't mention how she went through with it despite Ellie's crying and pleading). And don’t even try to make the argument about Abby wanting “justice”, Joel didn’t torture her dad out of revenge or for his own gratification - this is not justice, this is simply sadistic. A man killing someone who is about to murder their child in semi-self-defense cannot be compared to someone wilfully slow torturing someone to death for their own gratification, like Jesus, I didn’t think I’d have to spell that one out. I am aware that the second game tries to do whatever it can, including retconning their own original story, to paint Ellie and (especially!) Joel as evil. And for a considerable amount of the player base this actually worked, and while I cannot find it in me to condemn them (we all experience stories differently after all), I reserve the right to reject arguments in defense of Abby such as “all people are forced to do bad things during the apocalypse” and “does context even matter?”. If the only way you can defend/justify Abby's actions is to remove all context and nuance, then your reasoning is built on quicksand.

Can you write an imagine of jealous reader, Ellie and Cat are already dating and the reader has been avoiding and ignoring Ellie because of it. Unfortunately they get assigned patrol together throughout the ride Ellie tries to get the reader to talk laugh look at her anything but nothing does the trick, a horde forces them to stay overnight in an abandoned building. Ellie confronts the reader of their current behavior but the readers is just sour and petty toward her. The next day Cat is waiting at the gate and showers Ellie with kisses and hugs, Joel & Tommy are there for her too while the reader just walks pass them alone. Yes I love angst

Summary: Reader breaks ellie's heart and ellie breaks readers, will they ever be the same again

A/N: Thank you for the request <3 I love angst so much but writing it breaks my mf heart PLZZ. Sorry if this was short :(

Warnings: Angst, heartbreak and jealousy

Word count: 1.9k

"Ellie and Y/N will take the gas station." Tommy said.

Those words made your heart drop, god fucking dammit. You could already sense Ellie's excitement, she always got excited when you guys were assigned together. As of right now you were angry with ellie but she had no idea, fucking clueless.

Ever since cat and ellie got together you couldn't look at ellie without wanting to deck her in the face. You liked cat, she had done a tattoo of yours before, but you liked ellie... so much it hurt. Ever since she came to Jackson your stomach did twist and turn at the thought of her.

You would always catch her and cat making out with each other in the back of the church at dances, kissing by the fire when y'all would sneak out, holding hands while running from hoards. All the things you wanted Ellie to do with you she did with cat, it made you sick to your stomach.

"I don't think that's going to work out!" You shouted, causing everyone to turn around and look at you.

Tommy looked up from his clipboard, giving you a surprised look. The looks you were getting made you want to sink into the floor, especially the look Ellie was giving you. She looked at you with confusion but still looked so fucking cute while doing it.

"The gas station I mean...." You tried to save yourself but you could sense you were failing miserably. "I've never done the gas station before and I would feel more comfortable doing something I've done before."

That was a lie, the gas station was probably one of the easiest places too clear but you couldn't go with ellie.... it would be torture. Some of the others in the room laughed silently knowing how easy the gas station actually was, it's not like you couldn't do it.

"Y/n, i can't c...." Tommy started but was interrupted by ellie.

"I can show her!" She blurted out, a stupid smile on her face.

You gave Ellie a death stare, almost as if she just shot a loved one in front of you. You wanted to say something but you didn't want to dig the hole deeper so you just bowed your head down and threw your bag over your shoulder.

"Okay then... it's settled." Tommy started, handing you a key to the gas station. "You guys leave tonight!"

It's only for a couple of hours, the worst that can happen is getting stuck up in a hoard and having to stay at the gas station overnight with ellie. You hoped it would go smoothly though, clear the gas station and its surroundings then get out. easy enough

-

-

-

Of course the worst that could happen, happened for you. You had been ignoring Ellie ever since you left. No words were spoken on your end, just a few okay's and half ass instructions. Ellie was really trying to get you to talk to her, like everything in her power.

Ellie felt she did something wrong or you hated her for some reason, which was odd because not long ago you guys had been really close. She was getting really worried about you, you just didn't seem like yourself lately.

The assignment was going well, there weren't many infected to kill so it was super easy. That night came along and the hoard came through, but the hoard was the least of your problems at the moment. You and Ellie were trapped in a small room in the back of the gas station, door bolted shut and very little room.

It wouldn't be that bad usually, you would actually quite like it, being all trapped and cozy with ellie. That was until ellie decided to tongue fuck cat every second of every day, now it just wasn't the same.

You guys were now sitting at the small fire you had created, wrapped up in your jacket while eating a can of beans. Ellie was poking at the fire, watching as the flames danced around the wood. Ellie looked nice in the glow of the fire, enough to make your heart skip a beat but not too get out the images of you third wheeling every time cat was around.

"I'm getting tired of this weather man." Ellie spoke, putting down the stick and curling up under her own blanket.

You stayed silent, eating your beans and watching as the fire dulled a bit. You hated winter, especially when you had to go out in it. It made it harder to travel on horseback and by foot, so you were basically fucked.

Ellie let out a small sigh, you could sense the hard hitting question from a mile away. The silent treatment, all the dirty looks, the bitterness.... Ellie wanted to know what your damn problem was before she exploded.

"What's wrong?? Why are you mad at me?" She asked, causing a slight eye roll from you.

You felt stupid yes but you couldn't help it, ever since ellie got here you felt for the first time maybe there was some light in this fucked up world. You were being stupid and jealous but you really liked ellie and obviously she would go for someone like cat.

A couple seconds of complete silence went by like hours, Ellie staring you down as you tried everything not to look at her. You were afraid you would never be able to stop looking at her, you just wanted to sleep, not fight with the love of your life.

"Is this about cat? I mean ever since we started dating you've been acting like this." She spoke, her voice nothing but calm and filled with complete concern.

Even though she was being nice, her voice was silky smooth through the rough air, that was enough for you to snap. All the anger and hatred all piled up in one tiny body, a body that has been broken over and over again and this was the last time it was going to be broken.

"Jesus christ ellie!" You shouted, enough for the infected to hear. "Is everything about cat!"

Ellie was surprised she got you to talk, after not talking to her for days or even weeks it felt, the first thing out of your mouth is pure venom. Ellie did like you, that was the whole point of her wanting to talk to you but she thought you didn't like her back and the friendship you had she didn't want to ruin because she knew what happened when friends kiss friends... She learned her lesson.

Ellie's heart broke a little when you raised your voice, she never wanted to hurt you or be hurt by you. She let out a small breath before taking up the courage to look you in the eye and speak. Your anger filled up the entire small room.

"So you don't like cat?" She asked the stupidest question she could have asked at this moment.

You felt like your body was literally shaking. You were so angry, why can't she just shut up and leave you alone...something normal people would do when people ignore them for days at a time. But you forget Ellie isn't any normal girl, she's heartbroken and scared of being left alone.

The next thing that came out of your mouth was horrible, something not even Ellie deserved in this moment and you will never forget it. You balled your fist up in the sheets, holding back your tears as you let out

"Have you ever considered maybe i don't like you!" You shouted, venom flowing out of your lips.

Ellie's eyes twitched, pure sadness hit her all at once. It hurt, it really hurt Ellie more than any wound she could suffer. She felt like her heart was being crushed in a million pieces, the heartbreak she has felt many times before.

You felt bad, so bad that you yourself could cry. If it was an option to stand outside in the hoard and let them eat you alive, you would do it. Ellie didn't deserve you snapping at her, but obviously you couldn't show that. If it made it so she didn't talk to you ever again and finally left you alone to wallow in your own self pity, you would say it again even.

"Y/n i..." She started, eyes hooked on yours, not once looking away.

"I'm going to bed, we have to leave early...you should get some sleep." You interrupted, not even giving her a minute to speak.

You laid down, body turned turns the door so ellie couldn't see the tears that flowed down your face. Ellie deserved cat, they were a match made in heaven... you just couldn't be led on anymore. It's shitty yes but there's nothing you can do now.

You could hear Ellie shuffle next to you, back turned to you as well. You let out a few silent sobs, face pressed harshly against the pillow so Ellie couldn't hear you. You shouldn't have come, you should've done everything in your power not to come here.

The trip back is going to suck...

-

-

-

You both woke up in the crack of dawn, gathering all of your stuff in your backpacks before opening the door to see the hoard had moved up north. You both stayed silent throughout the entire trip, not wanting to talk after last night.

Your trip went smoothly, the only sound was birds chirping and the sound of the river flowing. It was beautiful, but you didn't care, the view was ruined by the awkward silence that had aroused since last night. You hated yourself so much at the moment, you ruined your chances of ever getting close with ellie.

At the gate Ellie stopped for a minute, turning around to stop you dead in your tracks. This was the first time this morning you had looked at her face, her eyes had been puffy and your nose had been stuffed up, apparently you weren't the only one crying last night. Her eyes met yours, dried tears streaked her face.

"I don't know why you hate me but I love you Y/N and I want you to know that.... not even some petty words can ever stop me from loving you. Whatever you're going through... I hope it gets better because you don't deserve it." She stated, eyes watering as she tried to break eye contact.

Fuck you ellie... You thought, now feeling like more of a piece of shit. You hated being the one to hurt her and her still loving you even if you did basically punch her in the face with your words. You couldn't hate her either, you were madly in love with her but it hurt you too much to see her with cat. You opened your mouth to say something

"Ellie!!" A woman's voice squeaked, it was cat.

Ellie wiped her cheeks before cat jumped on her, placing her lips on Ellie's. You watched, wanting so badly to sob right there. You felt what Ellie felt last night, pure heart break. Cat jumped down from off her, giving her an award winning smile.

"I missed you so much babe!" Cat spoke, placing her hands on Ellie's cheeks.

You could see Tommy and Joel come to welcome her back, but you didn't stay for very long. You walked past them, walking into the gate before setting your stuff down. Ellie's words echoed in your head, telling you that she loved you and you just stood there dumbfounded.

You knew you would always be the girl that had hurt Ellie, she would always look at you like that but she would still love you no matter what and that in itself hurt you like crazy.

"I will find a way."

"Where are you, Nora?"