September Will Be Kind. September Will Be Magical. September Will Bring The Missing Energy. September

you will unlearn all of the bad habits you taught yourself and you will grow into someone stronger than you ever imagined you could be

Listen, all you folks out there with AvPD: you’re amazing.

Every day, against all odds, you show up on my dash.

You live in a world that has taught you to feel unwanted, defective, unseen. But you keep on existing anyway.

You’re all warriors. And you are beautifully fierce.

Don’t listen to the voices – those around you, or within you – that say you’re weak or incapable. You aren’t. Because every single day, you are here, fighting and winning. Even in the moments that feel empty and unnameable, you are learning and growing and gathering strength.

I see you collecting these little things that feed your soul. Assembling the tools you need, for the hard work of staying alive and being well.

You are astonishing, and brave, and powerful. Someday, you’ll carve out a life where you can finally become yourself.

You are real. You matter. And you’re not alone.

This is a first and foremost a disability blog, and I saw a post regarding these protests that I knew I would have to address at some point. I know that all kinds of people follow me and this message is for all of you:

Social Media activism has its role, but a limited effect. You can do far more by donating to a legit movement than by reposting every little post about these protests. You can be aware of what’s going on, do your part, and still take care of your mental and physical health.

I know that the favorite line in response to acknowledging these limits is “black people can’t take a break from racism” which I agree but I also don’t get to take a break from ableism, sexism and classism. They’re soul crushing too. Just being physically disabled means I can’t even get up for my own rights, meanwhile I have severe anxiety that I know is worsened by gluing myself to world events.

Some of those people who need to step away do deal with racism. And by suggesting non black people can only support black lives by creating undue anxiety that can in effect cripple our ability to actually do something substantive is nonsense. It’s a guilt tripping performance of ideological purity, and downright harmful to all people no matter their identity.

Everyone needs a break, even those on the front lines, or your movement will die from pure exhaustion. So my fellow anxiety sufferers, you are not in any way letting black lives down because you aren’t rebloggong posts. I’m more concerned with donating if you can, and your vote this November. You can do so much more with those tools than any mindless page sharing.

Stay updated, stay involved, and don’t be ashamed for taking mental health breaks because by doing so you can be a more effective supporter. Right now there is a long YouTube art piece going around to raise funds for BLM movements though ad revenue, which I will Reblog again immediately after this post. Doing things like that is far more helpful than rebloggong every single protest post. You don’t have to do that no matter how many people shout out at you that you have no excuse, but they don’t know a thing about your life and what you deal with.

Support where you can but don’t let this become so destructive to your physical and mental health that you can’t even continue your support. We’re all human, we all have unique individual limits, even admidst a protest.

Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay mad about police brutality and racism.

The secret about self esteem

You don’t actually have to love yourself to be happy, healthy, and stable. Here are some beliefs that you can work towards instead

- no one deserves bad treatment, including you - You deserve to be treated with self kindness & to meet you own physical and emotional needs - Physical appearance isn’t the most important thing, and even if you’re unattractive you deserve to be able to live your life without shame - that no one is expected to be perfect at everything they try, and that it’s ok to enjoy things you aren’t good at - It’s more interesting and fun to focus your thoughts outward on the world and other people than to think about how much you like or dislike yourself - That everyone makes mistakes and does embarrassing things, and that an embarrassing event might feel really terrible but it’s not actually a threat - It’s not worth obsessing over whether you are a good or bad person, bc those things don’t really exist. (There are only good & bad actions; humans are way too complex & ever changing to fit into black & white labels) - Your thoughts and emotions are as valid & real as anyone else’s

Basically, the goal with all of this is to accept that you can treat yourself with self compassion. It is going to be near impossible to be happy if you constantly tear yourself down, or if you don’t respect needs, but it’s definitely possible to be happy feeling pretty meh about it.

I recommend focusing on things you believe are true for all people, then working back to yourself (for example, that everyone deserves to be treated kindly, that physical appearance isn’t shameful, that everyone makes mistakes, etc). Make self kindness the goal. When you are being mean to yourself, remind yourself to be kinder. If you feel horrible about a mistake remember you are only human. And the rest of the time? Pour your energy into creating meaningful activities in your life. Make art, chase goals, call friends, read books, learn, create, engage. You will find the works is much bigger and brighter when you make room for something besides self criticism.

I just read the line “President Donald Trump also indicated that federal squads would likely target cities run by the party that opposes him” in a real-life news article and I’m just thinking about how people really thought Democrats were overreacting in 2016 and that we should “give him a chance”

That Discomfort You’re Feeling Is Grief

The coronavirus pandemic has led to a collective loss of normalcy.

Understanding the stages of grief is a start. But whenever I talk about the stages of grief, I have to remind people that the stages aren’t linear and may not happen in this order. It’s not a map but it provides some scaffolding for this unknown world.

Grief counseling is something I have found hugely beneficial for dealing with the inconsistencies and unpredictability of living with multiple chronic illnesses. It was suggested to me by my therapist, who realized that my rapid cycling emotions weren’t just due to the ADHD, but because I was also constantly in a state of perpetual grieving; grieving for my past self who suffered and endured, for my current self still going through it, and for my future self, and a future that will forever be steeped in uncertainty.

I will always be in a state of grieving, because the stages of grief are not linear, and even after you reach the stage of acceptance, you will always carry some shard of the experience with you. In my case it’s less a shard, and more my entire existence. I live in a perpetual state of open-ended uncertainty. 

And now, so does everyone else.

You are grieving, both for the things going on right now, and the things we anticipate that will happen as a result. You are grieving, and that’s okay, you need to experience these emotions and process them. You are not being irrational, you are not being weak. You are being human.

Be kind to yourselves. This will pass. It will pass like the kidney stone of an angry god pissing vengeance into the wind. But it will pass. 

Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.

If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.

If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.

just want to personally say thank you for your avpd posts. they clear a lot up for me and i just feel... validated and secure.

Awwww, this made me smile! I’m so glad they help you Anon. I hope you have a lovely day! ❤️

love 2 learn new things

tavpdfw youre too afraid to express your honest opinion on something so you keep your thoughts as neutral as possible