^NPR Link.

This January is not only a new year but a new decade, and so there is even more pressure to “start fresh,” change your life, and simply transform into an idealized version of yourself.

Please don’t feel pressured by this. Life is already difficult enough without stressing out over metamorphizing into a new person overnight. The best change comes slowly, so keep trying to add little bits of goodness and happiness to your life here and there, and most of all, be patient with yourself.

People always think you gain trust first and then you’re vulnerable with people. But the truth is, you can’t really earn trust over time with people without being somewhat vulnerable first.

Brene Brown (via samxcamargo)

The way you speak to yourself matters.

when you realize every action you’ve ever taken has been to make sure you occupy as little space in the world as possible, even your lunch order

Hey, I just want everyone to know that what the world is going through is a legitimate trauma. Full on. It fits the “official” definition and everything. This is a traumatic event.

That means that it’s normal and expected to find yourself using coping mechanisms that you thought you were done with, to find yourself numbed out, to be on the verge of constant panic attacks, to be acting impulsively and compulsively, to engage in very old patterns, to have wide swings of every behaviour especially regarding sleep, food, and sex.

The research shows that people in a traumatic situation who most often develop PTSD (which I would say we are all at risk of) or have their existing PTSD/C-PTSD intensified are folks who cannot or believe they cannot do anything about it the trauma event.

So, if you are able, look for a place in all of this where you can feel that you can do something. Harass a company not doing enough for its employees, sign a petition, check in on a neighbour, set alarms to remind yourself to eat (it’s on my own to do list for today), intentionally spend time every day doing straw breathing to shift your sympathetic nervous system response. You don’t have to become some social media hero, or spend all your time improving yourself. But if you can find something that makes you feel like you can do something for yourself that decreases the trauma load on you, it will greatly benefit you going forward.

If anyone has any questions about this, my asks are open, or you can message me. (I cannot do any online therapy, I am happy to share information about trauma itself and any tools that I know)

It is okay to reblog this.

- Registered Clinical Counsellor, with 10+ years specifically working with trauma

Listen, all you folks out there with AvPD: you’re amazing.

Every day, against all odds, you show up on my dash.

You live in a world that has taught you to feel unwanted, defective, unseen. But you keep on existing anyway.

You’re all warriors. And you are beautifully fierce.

Don’t listen to the voices – those around you, or within you – that say you’re weak or incapable. You aren’t. Because every single day, you are here, fighting and winning. Even in the moments that feel empty and unnameable, you are learning and growing and gathering strength.

I see you collecting these little things that feed your soul. Assembling the tools you need, for the hard work of staying alive and being well.

You are astonishing, and brave, and powerful. Someday, you’ll carve out a life where you can finally become yourself.

You are real. You matter. And you’re not alone.

gentle reminder

the negativity that is going on in the world isn’t your fault, and you’re not a horrible person - please try your best to believe that, and to continue to fight for positivity in your own space, even if it’s just for yourself, or just in the smallest way; that light will grow, and make the world better, so have hope

Provence 

so heres a thing my mother always said to me growing up when i broke something on accident that i think is really important

and i know, from watching my friends and seeing their panic and terror when something broke, that not only were not nearly enough children told this thing, many children were punished in place of being reassured

and thats heartbreaking

so heres the words from my mom that i was always told, and theyre the same words that anyone who never got to hear them should hear now, courtesy of my mom, who has repeated those same words to many a friend of mine and now to you

if i ever broke anything, the first words out of her mouth would always be and have always been, “are you hurt?” 

i would say no

she would say, “thats okay, then”

and i would ask why

and she would say “because it was just a thing- even if its a nice thing, or an old thing, or an expensive thing, its still just a thing. it can be replaced, or we can live without it. there is only one you. there will only ever be one you. you will always be more important than just some thing.” 

I’ll try and respond to this later, I do have Some Things! (but not enough time or spoons to spare, just now)

hey… do any of my fellow avpd-ers have advice on making yourself Do Things that you Really Need To Fucking Do (ie adult things like emails/phone calls) and, on that note, how to explain your avoidant tendencies to people esp authority figures so that you don’t sound like a lazy asshole