4 Sum Reason & I'm Always So Anxious 8c Of It - Blog Posts

ugh /nsrs not rly recently I managed 2 convince myself that my entire life was 8ing 8roadcasted thru my vents on a livestream or smt & nw evry1 h8s m 4 sum reason & I'm always so anxious 8c of it I'm following the rules I m8de 2 give myself sum comfort it wasn't happening/wouldn't/would stop 8ut they keep changing sumhow & I try 2 fo low them still 8ut I cant keep up & I know reasona8ly none of TS is reasl 8ut I'm so anxious jow & if I give up my rules I wont 8 a8le 2 li e comforta8ly anymore even tho I think they're making me worse & I think no1 can tell me 8c they wna keep it secret even tho I alr know & a so 2 match TS sumhow I convinced myself angels in heaven m8de up my rules so now I cant 8ack out what if I go 2 hell & evry1 h8s me deadass wish I wasn't 8orn sumtimes I'm so sad l8ly I cant even talk a8t it w any1 8c it's so 8ad & I'll look cr8zy there's 1 person I would talk a8t it w 8c ik I wont w them 8ut I FUCKING CANT anyways I'm in class rn lolololololololol