Albedo Angst - Blog Posts

Moonlight 🌙

Warnings: mentions of implied abuse, bruises, cuts, scars

Soft knocks were heard at the dark wooden door. Sleepily the blonde got up to answer the door already knowing who it was. He opened the door revealing an injured girl. Her strawberry hair covering her puffy tear stained face. He gently helped her up as she muttered a soft 'thank you' at the male. He placed her down on the tan couch, and quickly scurried to the bathroom where he kept his first aid kit. Once he came back with the supplies, the boy turned his full attention to the girls injuries.

"Your old man again?" He asked even though he already knew the answer.

She hummed quietly not wanting to talk about it. After all this has become a normal routine for the both of them. Her running away, knocking at his door, him tending to her, and letting her stay over at his. The boy sighed and continued to work in the comfortable silence not wanting to push her in her already messed up state.

"The offer's still up you know." He mumbled.

"I don't want to burden you Albedo—and don't even say that I'm not. I'm already wasting your time and medical supplies." She mentioned.

The boy sighed and spoke up, "and how many times have I told you that I don't care spending money on you?"

The girl sighed in defeat knowing that he wouldn't back down. Instead she turned her face away from his and hid it in the couch cushion, returning to being silent. The boy silently continued to work on healing her body, after all having an infected wound is not pleasant.

"Turn your face, I need to see how badly he hurt you." He spoke softly to her.

She didn't move.

"Please?"

Again, she didn't turn to face him. He put the cotton ball down and gently grabbed her face by the chin and turned her face to look at him. When he did so he found her face littered with scars and a few cuts. His eyes trailed down to her lips—quivering in embarrassment. She never wanted him to see her like this again, but alas the world was not in her favor. The boys face softened and quickly averted his gaze to find the cotton ball he had just soaked in hydrogen peroxide quickly muttering a 'this might sting' as he resumed his task.

His face scrunched up in focus, his tongue poking out his lips. His hair fell down his face but he didn't mind. Slowly reaching out, the girl pushed his hair out of his face revealing his big blue eyes. She's seen them up close before multiple times before, but they always look so pretty and beautiful to her. He stopped what he was doing and looked back down at her eyes. They both maintained eye contact for a while before they both slowly started closing in on each other. Heads tilting opposite of each other.

"Big brother?" A tiny voice interrupted them.

Both the male and female stopped and averted their gaze from each other onto the tiny blonde girl. She was dressed in her small fitted pajamas. The moonlight hitting her face as she scrunched her face up to adjust to the light.

"Klee? What are you doing up?" The boy questioned quietly.

"Had a nightmare. I wanted to sleep next to you because I was scared, but you weren't in your room." The tiny girl squeezed the tiny 'dodoco' plushie close to her chest.

The boy looked back at her and was about to apologize but she beat him to it.

"Don't worry, put her to sleep first. You can worry about me later." She reassured him.

He nodded and carried his little sister back to her room, muttering sweet soothing words to put her back to sleep. Seeing his figure disappear into the darkness of the hall, the strawberry haired girl sighed and looked out the window of his apartment complex. The moon had formed a crescent shape, not revealing it's fullness. But even so it still shown really brightly. The very few stars outside glimmered and twinkled.

The girl eventually found herself succumbing to sleep with the picturesque background. Her brown eyes now shut, mouth parting slightly, and her hair fell down her face gracefully. As the boy returned he came to notice her sleeping figure. He chuckled softly at the sight and carried her to his bed. He covered her in the tan bedsheets that dressed his mattress. Finally kissing her forehead and muttering an almost audible,

"Goodnight, Marceline."

kaebedo angst

im on a roll tonight 🏃

anyways-

warning : angst, slight mention of character death, not proof-read

"....do you love me?"

kaeya asks softly, caressing albedo's cheek. albedo nods, humming out a 'yes'

"why do you love me?" albedo didnt hesitate to answer

"because you're broken" kaeya paused, retreating his hand.

"what..?" albedo grabs kaeya's cold hand, and plays with his fingers, admiring the small details on the other's hand.

"because i will be the reason that you will understand..." albedo brings kaeya's hand to his lips, leaving a chaste kiss to its wake. kaeya felt goosebumps run through his spine.

"that you can be loved." albedo looks up into kaeya's lost eyes, giving him a small smile.

"that you are not the problem." he emphasized the word not, bringing kaeya's hand to his cheek and shivering from coldness kaeya's hand brought him.

"you're gonna leave me?" albedo chuckles at that, turning his head and kissing kaeya's hand another time.

"no." kaeya lets out a breathe, glad that albedo isnt leaving him like the rest did.

"you will." albedo turns his head to look at kaeya again, a distant look in his eyes.

"when you will be ready." albedo closes his eyes, shielding himself from the looks that kaeya is giving him.

"it's time to let go, love." albedo mutters, and kaeya lets a tear slip from his eye.

"will i ever be able to let go of you, dear?" he slowly blinks, looking up at kaeya. albedo lifts up his hand, wiping the tears off of his lovers face.

"you will. not right now, but you will."

Oh, it's over.

Serving size- 0.6k

Nutritional facts- Gn! Reader 

Allergy warning- self-blame, self-degradation, light mentioned disordered eating, Very unhealthy coping mechanisms, Hallucinations, obsessions? 

Overview- reader dies for an unspecified reason.

Contents- albedo, Xiao , Kazuah

Instructions- best read in dark mode.

Formula- drabbles + headcanons

=͟͟͞͞🔬Master list

Albedo-

Although I think he'd be the one to take it most rationally, he'd still be over the edge because of your death.

So it really was coming to an end, well obviously your death was inevitable, so why, why does it still hurt knowing his morning with you is at end. This was calculated from the start he knew he was aware that you couldn't stay with him forever, then why does he want you to. A horrible outcome yet such a lovely journey. But at least it was with you, right?

It still hurts after all this time with you, his thinking was illogical, something he doesn't do unless he's with you.

He tries his best to put the pieces back together, bring you back to him but no nothing works. His hard work went to shit, if he couldn't do the simple task of feeling your comforting embrace then how was he supposed to do anything? Everything hurts alchemy hurts, talking hurts, eating hurts, existing hurts it all hurts so much, but he still moves on at least kind of right? He brushes off his feelings and tries to get over your pacing but the more he pushes it out the harder it comes back, why can't you just leave him alone?

Xiao-

One of the least rational goes back to how he was before he met you. If not worse, way worse.

How could you leave him like this after all you've done with him, you leave? It doesn't matter if it wasn't your choice he still wanted you there. You were the only thing that kept him at bay, but I guess the reason his karmic debt didn't affect you was because it would strike only once but harder than ever. But this was his fault.

 How could he even think straight, you were all that was on his mind, pushing to overwork himself sleepless nights, weeks, years but xiao was used to this nothing really changed, did it? Except for figures that appeared randomly throughout his room, it wouldn't be a bother he's seen worse, just if they didn't remind him of you. If they didn't speak like you did to him, if they didn't look at him with the same look you had towards him.

Maybe if he just didn't talk to you that day, maybe if you weren't in lieyu maybe, just maybe it would hurt this much.

Kazuha-

Again, really again? How long was this going to go on for, because he can’t take this anymore? Was it him, he was the problem right, he had to be. Nothing else was wrong; it was him, his fault, all his fault, and his fault alone.

Changing nearly everything about him, down to the way he speaks, the way he dresses, even the way he sees himself. But nothing was working, no one would love him the way you did. Was it his fault? Was he not worthy enough to be around you forever? That's right, that's the only reason he wasn't with you right now, he knows he's not deserving of your praise, your love, or even your mere presence but he still vied for you. But like the wind, everything must fly away and leave rather whether you desire that outcome or not.

A.n -  I had this in my drafts for the longest while and as you can see its quite rushed😞

as the world comes crashing down.

genshin boys x gn!reader [ ALBEDO DILUC VENTI XIAO KAZUHA ]

genre angst.

story the world is ending, doomsday is here.

ALBEDO has never been the talkative type. social interactions and idle chitchat have never held a candle to his heart’s desire — the dream to accquire limitless knowledge left behind by scholars of the past. so when the last star in the sky finally explodes, he hugs you close in an embrace. he has remorse and regret for never being able to confess his heart to you, as his heart was not that of a human, but a mere experiment. in his mind, you should deserve to be with someone real — someone capable of loving, feeling and touching. it is all he wishes for. but in the last moments of oxygen, he allows himself to be selfish. as the world comes crashing down, albedo finally feels the humans’ selfish desire — love.

DILUC is but a mystery to the people of monstadt. most are not aware of why he had retreated into his own world, becoming more secretive and reserved. under that cold facade is a soul that has sworn to protect his city and people, mercilessly vanquishing all who dare threaten the peaceful paradies that is monstadt. to others, diluc is the epitome of perfection — successful, wealthy and strong. diluc has reached all the traditional markers of being successful. but to him, he has not yet even so glanced at the true success of life. diluc looks at you in bittersweet nonchalance. his heart falters in guilt as he realises, he has found success in you. ‘success’ is a debatable topic, most view it as getting wealthy or having fame. but to the few that have experienced the cruel realities — success is happiness. diluc finds his happiness in you. so as the world comes crashing down, a feeling of accomplishment laces his heart as he caresses your face for one last time.

VENTI is one to live blissful ignorance. under a carefree, playful persona, he is absent. he is absent to the city he was supposed to protect and look after, he is absent to his title as an archon, and he is absent to himself — the form he takes of a youthful young man is not his to wear, the title of an ‘archon’ is not his to bear, and his sadness is not his to tear. instead, it should’ve been his late friend to wear the appearance of a young bard, to dawn the title of the ‘saviour who ended a reign of evil’ and the happiness to cheer. venti has nothing, he is nothing. all he has left are the memories of him and his dearest companion. but, as the tides flow in and the winds change current, those too are close to being lost in his inner battle with himself. venti has seen it all, the destruction of khaen’riah, the corruption of old monstadt and the defeat of dvalin — but as he strums his lyre to you, witnessing the end of another world, he sees worth in himself. centuries had passed with him being blinded by a coat of grief, but in this moment, next to you, he sees that he has something. something to cherish, love and keep. and that ‘something’, was you. as the world comes crashing down, venti is glad that someone cherishes him, loves him and wants to keep him, too.

XIAO lets it all out — all the words and worries he has been bottling up for the past millennium all out. xiao is a silent watcher, he is reserved and barely speaks when unneeded. there is a reason of this, he is afraid. xiao is afraid that he might say something wrong or hurtful, as many have expressed to him before. nothing good ever came out of his mouth, or so he thought. for eons, he has been alone. he was always alone when trekking the roads and mountains of liyue, alone when watching the sun set as a new dawn emerges, and alone when he is fighting back the evil karma. with that, none have been there with him — for him. but he finds his solace in you. xiao is not yet ready to really speak his mind and tell you how much he adores you, as his mind tells him that you’ll leave one day, forgetting all the love he had allowed himself to give. but, with your guidance, he is slowly getting used to talking about his day, talking about his feelings and his concerns. it is in your embrace that he tries to become a better person — for you. as the walls cave in and the screams of help silence, it is in your touch he finds it safe enough to let it all out. as the world comes crashing down, he whispers bittersweetly, “i love you.”

KAZUHA looks at you in awe. he takes these last few moments to appreciate you — his light, life and love. with his explorative hands and curious gaze, he has wandered throughout teyvat whilst holding the hand he so adored. as he played the silent call of the winds to you, as he charmed you with his words, as he sheltered you from the rain with his arms, as he journeyed through everything with you — he loves you. in his darkest times, when the relentless thrashing of waves would overtake and drown him, a hand would reach out to pull him into a soft daydream. although he has travelled only a corner of the universe, as the world comes crashing down, he looks at you and thinks that his life had taken the turn for the best.

mmffff next fic will be fluff 🙏🏻

(me when i lie ^)

UGHH BROUGHTH LITERAL SALTY TEARS THE LAST SENTENCE OF ALBEDOS AND ITTO NOO 😩

I heard you're married now (Part 3)

Featuring: Albedo, Itto, (separate) x reader

CW: Angst, hurt, no comfort, no happy ending

Summary: A love that could have been. Genshin men when you get married to someone that isn't them

Part 3 (Part 1, 2 and 4)

Albedo

Albedo was always too busy with his work to truly give you the proper attention and love you deserved. You loved the way he worked hard and devoted everything he had to his ongoing experiments and his life purpose to use alchemy to understand life. But the thing you'd loved about him was also his downfall, never able to spend time with you, always coming to bed late or never at all. He left you alone so many nights just burning, wishing he was there with you. Albedo had never truly realized how much his absence had really hurt you, you were always so happy when you did see him, focusing all of your energy and love onto the positives and making the most of the time you were spending together.

When you left, it took him months to realize just exactly how much your absence made him feel empty and alone. The bed no longer warm, your arms wrapping around his shoulders from behind to check in on him and his work. The truly engaged, listening eyes when he told you about the results of his experiment. Gone. Things he’d taken for granted but realized he couldn't live without. Everything that had made him feel warm and safe had now moved to Inazuma for a fresh start.

About a year after you left, he'd traveled to Inazuma for the Irodori festival, where he'd seen you and your new man. No, husband he realized after seeing the ring on your finger. He saw the way this man spent time with you, not bothering to worry about work or other cares. In a way Albedo never had. You looked so genuinely happy, smiling and prancing about in ways he noticed you never had before with him. He noticed the way you weren't shy to link your fingers with your husband, or to drag him over to something you found interesting, all differences Albedo noticed were a stark contrast to the way things had been with him.

He'd never tell a single soul, but many brush strokes of his paintings, painted after dark when his face couldn't be seen, were fused with the tears he let freely fall as he completed his work yet again without you.

Itto

Itto was an incredibly competitive man, something you knew going into the relationship. He knew his strong, carefree personality was something that others either loved or hated, or even attempted to use to their advantage. He’d always appreciated the way you’d enjoyed his silly and competitive nature.

What Itto hadn’t realized, however, was the way that competitive side ended up hurting you. What had started as silly, fun games and him trying to one-up you had turned into him constantly trying to better you, even in important accomplishments. When you’d received high praise and honor from Yae Miko for a light novel you’d written, Itto’s first reaction had been to round up his men and talk about preparing a novel for the upcoming Irodori festival.

He'd been happy for you, of course he had. Itto was proud and stunned by everything you managed to accomplish. Which was why he worked so hard to accomplish amazing things himself. How could someone like you want someone like him, if he couldn't be the strongest, most accomplished oni, nay, person in Inazuma? Itto wanted nothing more than for you to have the world, and that meant making sure he could give it to you. Despite all that, Itto hadn't exactly been the best at communicating this to you, and ultimately you left.

Your absence had been harder on Itto than anything he'd known before, even losing his vision. You were his ambition, the thing he wanted most.

So when Thoma introduced Itto to his newly-wed wife while tending to Itto's allergies at the Irodori festival, Itto thought his heart would stop when he saw it was you. Even downing an entire drink made with soy milk couldn't compare to the pain of seeing you with another man.

And as much as it hurt, Itto still couldn't be mad. Even in the few moments he watched you and Thoma interact, he could tell Thoma did nothing but put you, your accomplishments, your needs first before anything, even his own pride.

The crimson oni couldn't even face his gang members as he trudged home, hiding his tears behind his wild, silver hair.

nah cause my dumbass remembered the Closure pt.2 fic WHICH IM CANNONICALLY IN MY BRAIN WILL BE THE PART TWO OF THIS FIC

A Love Not Meant to Be Pt. 2: Albedo

Notes: SUPER LONG parts so I broke them up into sections + paired music/songs :)

Summary: Some things in life just aren’t meant to be + angst tropes.

Warning/s: Heartbreak, one-sided relationship, angst

Theme/s: Angst, no comfort, heartbreak, emotional/naive reader

Characters: Albedo

Parts: Kaeya, Kazuha

Albedo: One Sided Affections

(Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery)

You tried your best. You really did. In every relationship you had, it seemed that you always came off as ‘too strong’. They are always reasoning that ‘you felt too much’. You couldn’t help it- you were very emotional and tried your best to show your lovers how much you truly appreciated them. That’s what you do in a relationship, right? You were naive at that time- full of hope and passion for others that you were always so enthusiastic when an opportunity to love another person came at your doorstep. However, that was you before. Your passion burned out when you met the Chief Alchemist, Albedo.

Sometimes you think that relationships weren’t meant for you- that things you start just don’t last. When you met Albedo, you’d just gotten out of a pretty rough relationship and swore to yourself that you’ll never ever try to go into the dating scene again. That was until you needed some materials crafted from Sucrose, and you were met instead by Albedo who was more than happy to do it for you. You were enthralled by the Chief Alchemist; his beauty, his peculiarity, the way he moved and worked were ever so calculated and graceful. His voice was gentle and soft, his manner was something you’ve never seen before in a person. What got to you was the way he treated you. Albedo was kind, polite, and cordial. Professionalism aside, there was a certain charm he had when he would approach you for questions about the materials- the smile on his pretty lips and the glimmer in his sky-blue eyes. You’ve fallen again.

It wasn’t clear how Albedo reciprocated your feelings. You found yourself beginning to visit his lab more often for materials and alchemy advice until that turned into casual chats and then something more than friendly. It was until you brought up the prospect of dating that Albedo seemed to perk up and smile lightly to himself.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea.” was all he said and you had your answer. You jumped straight into the opportunity. If it meant that you had a chance at love- if it meant that you finally had something that’s yours and yours alone. What you didn’t know then was that Albedo was only answering your question. He didn’t think you’d ask him to be with you, nor did he get enough time to think it through; but when he saw your hopeful eyes, begging for a yes, he didn’t have the heart to say no.

Albedo knew you were the most expressive and passionate person in Mondstadt. He could see it from the way you bounded up to him and how your eyes shine when you see him. It seemed that you were always shining. You were so happy around him, always joyful when visiting his lab or even helping with watching Klee. Albedo, however, didn’t feel the same ardor you had for him. But he would be a monster if he ever thought of hurting your feelings and he couldn’t bear the thought of breaking your heart. You were too kind to be put through that again. And so, he stayed for you; trying his best as always and you did too. Little did Albedo know that you knew this- and you still held onto him. You felt guilty, but you couldn’t let this get away from you. You knew well that Albedo didn’t love you, but you haven't felt anything so strong in your life. You adored him and did your best to respect Albedo’s boundaries and constraints- no kisses, no cuddles, no surprise hugs. Maybe the lightest touch of the hand and eye contact. But that’s it. You bore through it, you couldn’t let him go.

It wasn’t like Albedo wasn’t capable of loving- he really did love you. Just not the type of love you had for him. It seems that he doesn’t yet understand the genuine feelings an individual has for someone else. Sure, he was more than aware of human emotions and whatnot but the notion of deeper connections as well as stronger feelings felt somewhat complicated for Albedo. He always thought that the only person he could love, and love him back, was his master. When you came into his life, he didn’t know if it would be betrayal for his creator, or that he couldn’t fathom why he had felt so many things about you. Albedo loved you, yes, but not in a way that you wanted him to. Where you were a spectrum of emotions, Albedo was a man with few feelings.

“I don’t get those types of bonds,” Albedo said once out of the blue. “As much as I’ve seen, they’re all so… trivial.” You wanted to agree then, because it’s what you’ve experienced most of the time, but you wonder if he was talking about the both of you. And so, you stay silent and watch him continue to work on his studies.

If you were being truly honest with yourself- this was bad for you. Worse than it has ever been with those in the past. You tortured yourself with having to constantly keep up that happy-go-lucky attitude to not make Albedo feel bad, and he had to keep up his lovers persona to make you happy. It was a vicious cycle and it was more than clear that you two were unhappy. It came to a boiling point when the burning ache of emotions you kept back broke through when you watched Albedo perform his experiments while you sat at a distance. You cried into your knees and it took a while for Albedo to notice. When he did, he wasn’t surprised. You were known to be an emotional person. When he approached you and touched your head, you sobbed harder- wishing for this interaction so badly on days when you needed him. You look up and at Albedo through a blur of tears, an illusory sheen of adoration you still carry for him, desperate to know that what you had wasn’t one-sided. Albedo was surprised to see you look like this. He’s seen you cry before, but this was different. You looked broken, exhausted, and you were. You loved him but you were tired. Through the many days you’ve spent with him, you carried something more profound for Albedo than those relationships from before. You had a chance to get a glimpse into the deepest parts of someone and Albedo entrusted you with that. He showed you his past, his vulnerability and all the blemishes and imperfections in his beautiful nature. You fell for him hard- too bad he didn’t feel the same.

“Am I really that unlovable?” You ask, voice silent and breaking as you are. Albedo stands there unable to figure you out, but is nevertheless shocked by this revelation. The tone in your voice, the way you’re slumped within yourself, skin warm and heart racing fast. He couldn’t understand any of those. Albedo hasn't felt any of that before, nor has he seen you look so… defeated. So, he inches closer to you and lays your head on his chest, the only form of comfort he can give.

“You aren’t, don’t worry.” Was all he could say. You weren’t convinced, you knew Albedo had little way with things like this, but you could only hide away in the solace of his jacket, his fingers combing through your hair. You sob into him because you know how he looks; that blank expression on his beautiful face, unfeeling, unknowing to the type of emotions that now ran rampant in your veins.

“I just want to be loved,” You say against Albedo, gripping onto the fabric of his coat. He kneels down to face you, eye level with yours and you are surprised to see a look of pity on his features. He really was beautiful- you could fall in love with him all over again.

“And you will be,” Albedo said, taking your warmed face in his cold hands. “By someone better.” You cry more at his words while his fingers wipe away your tears. Choking on air, you grab Albedo’s hands and press them on your lips. He lets you.

“I don’t need better,” You think. “I just need you.” You wanted to tell him this. You wanted so badly to make it work, to salvage your relationship because you felt like you didn’t- couldn’t- want anyone else other than Albedo.

You wanted to tell him: I need you. I need you to be by my side as I wake up every morning, to be there when I make my terrible dinners and for you to smile through each bite. I need you to be the person I can turn to and I’ll do the same for you even if I've never seen you sad. I need you to be the only one I can hold, I can touch, I can kiss. I need you to be with me through the worst days, and you can be my best. I need you to tell me how it feels, how you feel, when you’re in love so I can tell you the same. I need you in my life, to be my life, for as long as it’ll take me. I need you, because I don’t have anything else.

You didn’t say that. As much as your heart thrummed achingly fast in your chest, you could only cry and whisper:

“I want you Albedo, I do, but I can understand if you don’t feel the same.” The guilt finally consumed you and it hurt. What hurt worse than the already impending heartbreak was his reply. Dry and forward, but genuine.

“I’m glad you understand, Y/N.” You feel it then, the mercy of your heart still beating in your chest- then the utter heartbreak that follows as you watch Albedo smile, his cold hands leaving your skin as he turns away and leaves. You didn't have the energy to try and beg for him to come back. Everything in your body ached with no sign of mercy. You thought you could die from the pain and you were somewhat grateful that Albedo was spared from the agony of heartbreak, the lack of understanding of deep and complicated human emotions. At that point, you wished that you were him- you wanted to sacrifice these damning emotions, so strong in the heat of everything that it made you jump from one opportunity of love to the next. You felt burdened by them, burdened by these human things Albedo was so gifted not to have. You wanted to be numb by then. If this was the type of ache you had to go through for the rest of your life- then you would trade anything to have it taken away.

:0 ...okay but like.. some higher power decides to be oh? u dont wanna feel no more? aight ✨bippity boppity ur emotions are poof✨ AND THEN ALBEDO DOES A 180 AND IT BECOMES SAME SITUATION BUT REVERSED ..im just comforting myself with scenarios.

A Love Not Meant to Be Pt. 2: Albedo

Notes: SUPER LONG parts so I broke them up into sections + paired music/songs :)

Summary: Some things in life just aren’t meant to be + angst tropes.

Warning/s: Heartbreak, one-sided relationship, angst

Theme/s: Angst, no comfort, heartbreak, emotional/naive reader

Characters: Albedo

Parts: Kaeya, Kazuha

Albedo: One Sided Affections

(Mr. Loverman by Ricky Montgomery)

You tried your best. You really did. In every relationship you had, it seemed that you always came off as ‘too strong’. They are always reasoning that ‘you felt too much’. You couldn’t help it- you were very emotional and tried your best to show your lovers how much you truly appreciated them. That’s what you do in a relationship, right? You were naive at that time- full of hope and passion for others that you were always so enthusiastic when an opportunity to love another person came at your doorstep. However, that was you before. Your passion burned out when you met the Chief Alchemist, Albedo.

Sometimes you think that relationships weren’t meant for you- that things you start just don’t last. When you met Albedo, you’d just gotten out of a pretty rough relationship and swore to yourself that you’ll never ever try to go into the dating scene again. That was until you needed some materials crafted from Sucrose, and you were met instead by Albedo who was more than happy to do it for you. You were enthralled by the Chief Alchemist; his beauty, his peculiarity, the way he moved and worked were ever so calculated and graceful. His voice was gentle and soft, his manner was something you’ve never seen before in a person. What got to you was the way he treated you. Albedo was kind, polite, and cordial. Professionalism aside, there was a certain charm he had when he would approach you for questions about the materials- the smile on his pretty lips and the glimmer in his sky-blue eyes. You’ve fallen again.

It wasn’t clear how Albedo reciprocated your feelings. You found yourself beginning to visit his lab more often for materials and alchemy advice until that turned into casual chats and then something more than friendly. It was until you brought up the prospect of dating that Albedo seemed to perk up and smile lightly to himself.

“I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea.” was all he said and you had your answer. You jumped straight into the opportunity. If it meant that you had a chance at love- if it meant that you finally had something that’s yours and yours alone. What you didn’t know then was that Albedo was only answering your question. He didn’t think you’d ask him to be with you, nor did he get enough time to think it through; but when he saw your hopeful eyes, begging for a yes, he didn’t have the heart to say no.

Albedo knew you were the most expressive and passionate person in Mondstadt. He could see it from the way you bounded up to him and how your eyes shine when you see him. It seemed that you were always shining. You were so happy around him, always joyful when visiting his lab or even helping with watching Klee. Albedo, however, didn’t feel the same ardor you had for him. But he would be a monster if he ever thought of hurting your feelings and he couldn’t bear the thought of breaking your heart. You were too kind to be put through that again. And so, he stayed for you; trying his best as always and you did too. Little did Albedo know that you knew this- and you still held onto him. You felt guilty, but you couldn’t let this get away from you. You knew well that Albedo didn’t love you, but you haven't felt anything so strong in your life. You adored him and did your best to respect Albedo’s boundaries and constraints- no kisses, no cuddles, no surprise hugs. Maybe the lightest touch of the hand and eye contact. But that’s it. You bore through it, you couldn’t let him go.

It wasn’t like Albedo wasn’t capable of loving- he really did love you. Just not the type of love you had for him. It seems that he doesn’t yet understand the genuine feelings an individual has for someone else. Sure, he was more than aware of human emotions and whatnot but the notion of deeper connections as well as stronger feelings felt somewhat complicated for Albedo. He always thought that the only person he could love, and love him back, was his master. When you came into his life, he didn’t know if it would be betrayal for his creator, or that he couldn’t fathom why he had felt so many things about you. Albedo loved you, yes, but not in a way that you wanted him to. Where you were a spectrum of emotions, Albedo was a man with few feelings.

“I don’t get those types of bonds,” Albedo said once out of the blue. “As much as I’ve seen, they’re all so… trivial.” You wanted to agree then, because it’s what you’ve experienced most of the time, but you wonder if he was talking about the both of you. And so, you stay silent and watch him continue to work on his studies.

If you were being truly honest with yourself- this was bad for you. Worse than it has ever been with those in the past. You tortured yourself with having to constantly keep up that happy-go-lucky attitude to not make Albedo feel bad, and he had to keep up his lovers persona to make you happy. It was a vicious cycle and it was more than clear that you two were unhappy. It came to a boiling point when the burning ache of emotions you kept back broke through when you watched Albedo perform his experiments while you sat at a distance. You cried into your knees and it took a while for Albedo to notice. When he did, he wasn’t surprised. You were known to be an emotional person. When he approached you and touched your head, you sobbed harder- wishing for this interaction so badly on days when you needed him. You look up and at Albedo through a blur of tears, an illusory sheen of adoration you still carry for him, desperate to know that what you had wasn’t one-sided. Albedo was surprised to see you look like this. He’s seen you cry before, but this was different. You looked broken, exhausted, and you were. You loved him but you were tired. Through the many days you’ve spent with him, you carried something more profound for Albedo than those relationships from before. You had a chance to get a glimpse into the deepest parts of someone and Albedo entrusted you with that. He showed you his past, his vulnerability and all the blemishes and imperfections in his beautiful nature. You fell for him hard- too bad he didn’t feel the same.

“Am I really that unlovable?” You ask, voice silent and breaking as you are. Albedo stands there unable to figure you out, but is nevertheless shocked by this revelation. The tone in your voice, the way you’re slumped within yourself, skin warm and heart racing fast. He couldn’t understand any of those. Albedo hasn't felt any of that before, nor has he seen you look so… defeated. So, he inches closer to you and lays your head on his chest, the only form of comfort he can give.

“You aren’t, don’t worry.” Was all he could say. You weren’t convinced, you knew Albedo had little way with things like this, but you could only hide away in the solace of his jacket, his fingers combing through your hair. You sob into him because you know how he looks; that blank expression on his beautiful face, unfeeling, unknowing to the type of emotions that now ran rampant in your veins.

“I just want to be loved,” You say against Albedo, gripping onto the fabric of his coat. He kneels down to face you, eye level with yours and you are surprised to see a look of pity on his features. He really was beautiful- you could fall in love with him all over again.

“And you will be,” Albedo said, taking your warmed face in his cold hands. “By someone better.” You cry more at his words while his fingers wipe away your tears. Choking on air, you grab Albedo’s hands and press them on your lips. He lets you.

“I don’t need better,” You think. “I just need you.” You wanted to tell him this. You wanted so badly to make it work, to salvage your relationship because you felt like you didn’t- couldn’t- want anyone else other than Albedo.

You wanted to tell him: I need you. I need you to be by my side as I wake up every morning, to be there when I make my terrible dinners and for you to smile through each bite. I need you to be the person I can turn to and I’ll do the same for you even if I've never seen you sad. I need you to be the only one I can hold, I can touch, I can kiss. I need you to be with me through the worst days, and you can be my best. I need you to tell me how it feels, how you feel, when you’re in love so I can tell you the same. I need you in my life, to be my life, for as long as it’ll take me. I need you, because I don’t have anything else.

You didn’t say that. As much as your heart thrummed achingly fast in your chest, you could only cry and whisper:

“I want you Albedo, I do, but I can understand if you don’t feel the same.” The guilt finally consumed you and it hurt. What hurt worse than the already impending heartbreak was his reply. Dry and forward, but genuine.

“I’m glad you understand, Y/N.” You feel it then, the mercy of your heart still beating in your chest- then the utter heartbreak that follows as you watch Albedo smile, his cold hands leaving your skin as he turns away and leaves. You didn't have the energy to try and beg for him to come back. Everything in your body ached with no sign of mercy. You thought you could die from the pain and you were somewhat grateful that Albedo was spared from the agony of heartbreak, the lack of understanding of deep and complicated human emotions. At that point, you wished that you were him- you wanted to sacrifice these damning emotions, so strong in the heat of everything that it made you jump from one opportunity of love to the next. You felt burdened by them, burdened by these human things Albedo was so gifted not to have. You wanted to be numb by then. If this was the type of ache you had to go through for the rest of your life- then you would trade anything to have it taken away.

KAEYAS PART HITS DIFFERENT WAIT THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH OML

𖤐 * ∿  SOMEONE TO HOLD

𖥻 SUMMARY

pt 2 of before you go

𖥻 CHARACTERS

diluc, kaeya, albedo & gn! reader

𖥻 GENRE & WARNINGS

hurt/comfort, alcohol

𖥻 LINKS

masterlist

𖥻 NOTES

please like and rb if you enjoyed ! 

𖥻 ALBEDO

it’s been six months since you left mondstadt, and albedo doesn’t let himself stop and think

he buries himself further in his work, ironically enough. because every time he pauses, every time he lets his mind drift to you, he feels something twist in his chest

and he thinks he’s doing fine. when he’s working, he’s okay

still, he sometimes finds himself looking over his shoulder to find you — expecting you to be sitting next in the stool that he had always reserved for you. only to remember that you’re no longer there

still, he keeps the stool there. a reminder, and a hope

he sometimes finds the small trinkets you’ve left behind for him — the bracelets you’ve made

he finds little sticky notes that you used to stick around his lab with little reminders of make sure to eat :) and love you 

and every time, his heart constricts

but the worst is when he stops and rests, and he’s alone in his bed, wondering how he thought this would last forever

when you used to talk about going to liyue, you used to say that you and him would keep in contact through letters. but his mailbox remains empty

and it’s deserved — he knows it’s deserved, but it doesn’t stop the feeling of despair that clutches his chest

and sometimes, after a long day of work, he wants nothing more than to collapse in your arms as you hum and brush his hair out of his face for him. he wants nothing more than to just lean on you as you read, and fall asleep

but the lights to the house are always off. and it’s always empty

emotion is something that albedo doesn’t express often — but sometimes when he’s left alone and he’s too tired to work anymore, he leans his back against the door and puts his head in his hands and cries

he hears of your return from sucrose — its said that you were at the tavern, saying your hellos to everyone again

he abandons his experiment in an instant

(more under cut)

Keep reading

..nah bruv i cant i- WHO HURT YOU OML I COULD FEEL THROUGH THE WORDS I- ESPECIALLY ALBEDOS PART ON LIKE HOW LIKE YK HUMAN I- I CANT TALK PROPERLY ANYMORE YOUVE MADE ME SPEECHLESS THIS IS SO GOOD

(Part 2): So Close, Yet So Far

Notes: Part two of the first part. Idk this felt kinda lacking but I enjoyed writing it anyways. Might move on to fluff if I'm in a good mood. Drop some suggestions :)

Summary: They’re always away and work seemingly became more important than their time with you.

Characters: Albedo, Thoma, Gorou, Aether, Kazuha

Warning/s: Some lore spoilers? Graphic mentions of death on Gorou’s part.

Themes: Angst, Breakup, No Comfort, Gender Neutral Reader

Part 1: (here)

Aftermath: Closure Pt. 2

Albedo

‘Be patient with him’ is what you always tell yourself as you follow Albedo up the mountain for another excursion to Dragonspine for who knows what and archons know what for. You hadn’t known what you were setting yourself up for when you decided to pursue a relationship with the very handsome but very stand-offish alchemist from the Knights of Favonius. True, your relationship with him had its very sweet moments of cooking with him and him sketching you, but those were rare and hard to come by- especially from Albedo. Part of it was the fact that he was not human and his pursuit of understanding also included human emotion which made it difficult to discern whether or not his sweet words and gentle manner were genuine or a form of fabrication for his studies. Sometimes he’d even use you for his experiments; odd contraptions strapped to your head, shivering in his open lab in Dragonspine, drinking odd concoctions that you fear may kill you.

It’s worth it, you’d always think when you see Albedo’s eyes shine and his lips curl into a smile when he discovers something new or if his hypothesis is correct. It’s worth it if it meant that you were making Albedo happy; even if it meant that you yourself had never felt more unloved.

‘Be patient with him’ drained the life out of you each time you asked if Albedo wanted to go out somewhere with you, but he would say ‘no’ and say, ‘I’m busy’. It drained you as you watched him react more to his experiments than when being with you. It drained you when you’d get your hopes up as Albedo called for you only for the same hope to be crushed when it was for a lab test.

“Albedo, can we please do something nice for once? You’re always working, and I want to spend some time alone with you.” You said as you stood at the foot of his lab when he called you in for help with another experiment.

“Well, we’re spending some time alone right now.” He said as you listened to the clink of test tubes for a potion he was going to make you drink.

“I’m serious, Bedo.” You said, crossing your arms from the cold and irritation. Albedo glanced at you and saw your annoyed expression but still turned away.

“I have a hard time understanding what you want from me, Y/N,” He said, setting down his clipboard, his back still turned and attention drawn away.

“Of course you don’t. You wouldn't understand how I’d feel anyways,” You said. “You’re not human.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you looked up to see Albedo staring at you blankly. Through the trick of the eye, the corners of his lips twitched and his hands formed into a fist. You half expected him to be upset with you while the other half expected him to be upset with himself. But he showed no emotion as you two stared. It was too late for you to take your words when you realized you meant what you said- as hurtful as it was, your patience with him ran thin and you were tired of pretending the lack of intimacy was acceptable- even for Albedo. And so, you wordlessly turned to leave him alone in his cold, open lab. As he watched you leave, he knew it was a sign your fleeting relationship was done; but Albedo felt something prickling in his skin.

‘Strange. This isn’t what cold feels like.’ It was different. It was hot, searing, and burning. Gradual, slow and torturous that it felt intentional. It ran from his chest and pulsed throughout his skin. Something within him ached so terribly as he tried so desperately to find a cure for this ravenous madness that made him drag himself and heave across the table. Your expression is what got him- the shock in your face when you said what you said but the immediate switch to emptiness- the way he recognized was the same expression he wore around you. Worst of all were your words echoing throughout his mind. You’re not human.

“Is this… what they call heartache?” Intense was the word Albedo was looking for. In your entire relationship, he felt some form of intensity, the giddiness when you stroked your hand through his hair or gave him compliments for his work- but nothing was comparable to the pain that coursed through him right now. He knew he wasn’t human, but why does he feel so alive? Why is his hollow shell suddenly flooding with so many things he couldn’t possibly understand? Then he remembers you. You were loving, your gestures so unfeigned and manners so human- something Albedo couldn’t understand yet but longed for- more so now than he had ever had.

“Y/N, it hurts,” He says as he grabs at his head and whispers into the table. Hot tears stream from his eyes, a new trick so foreign to him that he feels like a child discovering what it’s like to feel empathy. Something real. And he had never felt more real, more human, when he was with you. You had taught him the euphoria of what it means to have human emotion, the joy that comes with love, and the utter devastation when Albedo finally discovered what it meant, what it felt, to have someone you love tear away at you like a pack of wolves. To be exposed to the raw emotions that was heartbreak. It hurt so much but he loved it.

He loved you.

“It hurts, Y/N,” Albedo called to you smiling, as if announcing a groundbreaking discovery of the century. He needed you now more than ever- not for experiments, not for confirmation of theories, he needed you. To tell you what he felt, what you made him feel, how good it was no matter the hurt. But it was too late. You had given him everything he needed to know about connections and bonds and the joy that came with them- yet you had no love left to give him. He would destroy the world to get it back if it meant the pain would stop. If it meant he’d start over and give you the love you deserve.

Thoma

Thoma was the perfect lover; the man every parent wished for their child, the man every grandparent loved having over, the man others would kill for but Thoma would discourage them. You don’t know how lucky you found yourself when Thoma bashfully gave you a plate of tricolor dango he made by himself as a way to ask you out. Your relationship was seen by others as more than perfect, more than beautiful. Prying eyes would watch as Thoma would hold the umbrella over your head and give you his coat on a rainy day as you two walked down the street; Inazuman girls would seethe with jealousy as Thoma would plant a kiss on your forehead in front of them, his smile bursting wide when you’d return in; the older women in town would compliment you both and ask about marriage, children and the works while you two would turn red and look away in embarrassment at the questions. Everyone on the outside thought you two were perfect.

You knew a little differently. No relationship was perfect. Each one had cracks and problems as every relationship would. You and Thoma rarely argued and it was mostly for something small and insignificant like who forgot to do the laundry, but nothing big ever happens. In fact, every squabble always ends with an apology. The only problem you two had was work. Thoma was almost always busy working for the Kamisato Clan and sure, you had your fair share of labor, but sometimes it was getting ridiculous.

At first you didn’t mind- you understood how the Kamisato siblings relied their trust on Thoma and you admired it even. Some things about his work however drew the line when you would be left alone in the middle of the street, waving half-heartedly goodbye to your lover as he is called in for another commission. Most tea dates you two had at Komore Tea House were with Ayaka and you grew to be friends with the girl- but you sometimes felt like a third wheel between them. Sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night to Thoma hastily leaving to do something for the Estate. Hell, the only real dates you two ever had were doing chores around the Estate’s yard and Inazuma. You were getting tired. You spent little to no time with Thoma; despite how loving he was, how caring and generous and perfect, you can’t help but feel unloved if he dedicated his time to someone that wasn’t you. As selfish as that may have sounded, the issue has drawn on for too long.

While the crickets chirped silently, your hand in Thoma’s as you two walked to the Estate for the eighth time this week. The atmosphere made it feel like you two were out for a nice walk, when in fact, you were out to do another commission. Thoma noticed your tightening grasp on his hand as he stopped to look at you.

“Is there anything bothering you, Y/N?” Your fear of losing him bubbled in your chest and you wanted nothing more than for you to be able to express yourself without prying eyes and listening guards. This seemed to be the perfect time to do so.

“If you had to choose me, or the Kamisato Clan, who would you prioritize?” You asked, chest rising and falling as you watched Thoma struggle to say something. You should’ve worded it differently, but you had already given him the ultimatum and his answer was clear. You nodded and lowered your head, hearing Ayaka call out to him from a distance. Thoma pulled you close but you didn’t move, savoring the last time you might ever be this close to him.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” was all Thoma could say, his voice and body shaking. Before he could do anything else, you buried your head in his neck and whispered,

“I don’t think I can do this anymore, Thoma.” finally looping your hands around his waist. I need more time, I can’t let you go. “I love you, but I can’t…” You wondered if you were being selfish- if you were willing to sacrifice such a loving man and a wonderful relationship because you felt unfulfilled. Maybe you were, but Thoma only pulled you closer, and you, for the first time in your relationship, withdrew from him. Hearing Ayaka call out to him once more, Thoma didn’t stir and only held onto your wrist, eyes begging for you to stay. But you stepped back and looked at him pitifully.

“I think someone else needs you right now.” You said, stepping back again. “Goodbye, Thoma.” While you turned to leave, you glanced back to see his figure fading away to the Kamisato Estate. What you didn’t know is that Thoma was the one to need you this time. His heart aching at your words, the realization finally hitting him that you had felt so unloved. He remembers the days you would soothe his joints and muscles, make him lunches on days and dinner by nights, the way you would nod understandingly as he ranted and raved about his day. You’ve given him your time and company, while he returned it by not doing the same. Thoma turned around to find you gone and wanted so badly to get you back. But work called for him, and you had already left. If only his loyalty would favor you, but in the end, you had been the second option.

Gorou

Gorou had always been busy; now more than ever with the civil war that’s been rampaging Inazuma. You did what you could to help with the Resistance and Gorou was extremely grateful for you. You could see the toll it took on him to lead an Army and at the same time handle everything else with their excellent strategist, Divine Priestess Kokomi. You encouraged him to take breaks with you once in a while, but his stubbornness persisted, and he would work day and night to ensure swift victories against the Shogun’s Army.

It was only when he would lose sleep over worrying about the latest advancements and number of casualties did you really start to worry. Gorou would be up late into the night and well into the evening, hunched over a map, his ears twitching in annoyance and even your massages wouldn’t be enough to soothe his tense muscles. On times he would relent and take calming breaks with you, he would be immediately ordered to the front lines by Kokomi or other soldiers, and they would have to apologize on his behalf.

“Gorou, I know we need to win this war, but I think you’ll perform better if you take a little rest.” You said as you watched your lover fit into his armor. “Come, have some tea with me.”

“I can’t right now, Y/N, Her Excellency is calling me up to help and you know I can’t pass up this opportunity to gain some sort of foothold against the Shogunate Army.” It was hard to convince him not to leave, even harder to make him rest. But he needed to do what had to be done. You had no choice but to let him go.

“Alright, I’ll be having tea out near the shores.” You said, wishing him good luck as Gorou plants a soft kiss on your cheek and storms off. “Be safe, Gorou.” The waters of Inazuma’s beaches were always your favorite- soft sands meeting the rolling waves clear enough that you could see the eels, crabs and shells from below. Nothing could disturb your peace. Not long after you set up the tea table on the beach, you notice a group of the Shogun’s army nearing your spot. Strange, you think, they’re beyond enemy lines. Calm and composed, you only watch as the soldiers circle you.

“What seems to be the issue?” You ask, your heart racing in fear.

“You’re the lover of the Resistance Army’s general.” One soldier said, pointing a spear at you. “Comply now if you know what’s best for you.” Slowly, you sipped your tea and looked at the men that surrounded you, weapons in hand ready to fight. You yourself had no vision and were willing to fight until the end- if it meant that you would be of help to Gorou.

“I have no Vision to surrender, nor do I have any intentions of giving out any secrets for you.” You said, setting down your cup as the men stepped forward. “But if you must do what you need to, make sure the news reaches enemy lines. Tell them General Gorou is out for revenge.”

That night, the mood in the camp was unusually depressing for the Resistance Army camp as the soldiers pushed at each other when General Gorou came in from another surge. He ordered for his men to send the injured to the infirmary and once he arrived there, there was no need for his soldiers to tell him what had happened.

There lying lifeless on a bamboo mat was you- eyes closed, mouth parted slightly as if you were deep into sleep. But you neither moved nor was your heartbeat present in your chest. Gorou stopped in his tracks as his soldiers could do nothing but watch him crumple into a wailing mess beside you. You lay unmoving. The others did their best to clean you- under your fingers were the sands you spent your days on, sea water dried on your skin and blood clung to your shirt and face. Yet Gorou couldn’t help but smile through the tears. You look as beautiful as ever, Y/N.

“What is the meaning of this!?” He yelled, grabbing your cold hands. “Why wasn’t anyone with them!?” Gorou realized how odd that may have sounded- he was the one that should have been with you because you called him out there. He should have protected you, but he didn’t show, he never does. Now you’re dead and he feels as if your blood was on his hands.

“I should’ve been with them…” For weeks, Gorou has led the Resistance Army to push on, keep fighting, to end this once and for all. It’s not what you would have wanted but if it weren’t for this damned war, you would have still been alive. It was a comfort to Gorou to know that he’s fighting in your name, slaughtering soldiers left and right and exhausting what’s left of the energy he thinks should have been spent with you. He kept your word unknown to him- that he seeks revenge for what the enemy has done to you. Even he knows deep in his mind that you would disprove of his actions; it was too late for that now if you weren’t by his side to tell him it’s ok to stop fighting.

Aether

Aether is always out into the world of Teyvat in his conquest to find answers, truth and especially his sister. You wonder sometimes if you are a factor that’s been holding him down or slowing his path even though he has reassured you countless of times that you aren’t. Still, it was hard not to tell yourself that you may be a burden when Aether’s strength and experience out in the world is vastly different from yours. After all, he wasn’t from this world. Yet you and the rest of the other nations held a lot of trust in Aether- too much trust in fact that your worry about him seemed to rival that. It was worrying because Aether never seemed to stop; always working, always fighting, always on the go to find some semblance about where his sister was or what she’s doing with the Abyss Order. Whether it be fighting an Old God or jumping from one dimension to another, Aether seemed to be everywhere except with you. Some things in his life you couldn’t understand, but you had faith in him and didn’t say anything else as you followed him throughout his journey. Even in places you can’t follow, you make sure to him that he always has a place to come home to in your arms.

That was until you notice something shift in him that worry only worsened. You knew deep down that he was getting tired of constantly being thrown around to help and expect to fix everything when really, all he wished for was to be reunited with someone he loved. You understood the bond he and his twin shared, something unbreakable, but sometimes you selfishly wished that Aether could stay with you a little longer. You loved him after all-, but doubt clung in your mind that maybe he didn't share the same love you had towards him. He would encounter you sometimes after a rough day, a rough week, a rough month even and you would greet him with open arms to tend to his wounds and feed him and Paimon until the next day he would leave, and you wouldn't know when he would come back. Sometimes you wished if he would settle in with you, give the adventure a break and calm down for a while- but before you could even bring it up, he would say that there is no home if his sister isn’t by his side. Then doubts would come to your mind again and you’d wonder if you were of any help to him at all.

When you had met Aether, you were a traveler yourself and a part of the Adventurer’s Guild. You had seen him talking with Katherine about another mission to some unknown land, and being one with an Adventurer’s heart, you volunteered yourself to be Aether’s companion. And because you wanted to know the famed Traveler from another world. After that, you found yourself growing closer with him when he shared his stories around Teyvat; how he fought with Stormterror, his spars with a Fatui Harbinger, and the simple quests of planting flowers in Dragonspine. You were intrigued and enthralled by all this and asked Aether if you could join his party. You have some experience in fighting and navigation and his little friend Paimon found it to be quite exciting. With a charming smile, Aether said yes and you two had been adventuring ever since.

It was amazing for a while- the thrill of it all, the experience you gained and the places you couldn’t dream of being in. For the longest time in your life, you felt happy, and you fell in love. It took a while for you to realize your feelings for the mysterious Traveler but once it became clear, your uncertainty only grew and your feelings along with it. You wanted nothing more than to settle down with him, but you knew in your heart that he has no intention of doing that until he finds his sister. With that you felt the need to push your feelings aside until it became unbearable. You wanted to stay with him but wanted to be far from him because your feelings overshadowed your willingness to keep going. One day, you’ve decided that it was time for your adventure to end.

“Aren’t you coming?” Aether asked as you two exited your home. You stopped at the door frame and looked at him sadly. He noticed your expression and pursed his lips. “Is everything okay, Y/N?” You wondered if it would be selfish of you to beg him to stay. One thing you admired so greatly about Aether was his selflessness, to put his needs aside if it meant if would help another. But you knew well that if he stayed, he would only be held down.

“Yes… I’m fine but, I think I’ll hold off on the commissions for a while.” You said, barely a whisper. Usually, Aether would convince you to come with him and tell you that you're a great help- but he only stepped closer and held out his hand.

“If you wish to see me again,” He said. “You know where to find me.” You nodded and held his hand in yours. Aether looked down at it and you could feel his fingers pulling away from your grip.

“Go find your sister.” Was all you said. With that, Aether nodded and ran. Only Paimon was the one to look back at you and wave goodbye. The only thing you could do was to cry silently and watch the man you loved go. It was clear from the start that his restlessness was unwavering, and he would stop at nothing to get back the only comfort of home he has known. That comfort wasn’t you, and you were more than happy to let Aether go even if it meant his love for you was as short lived as your time together.

Kazuha

You fell in love with Kazuha’s beautiful words and gentle manner. He was more than closed off when you met him on Captain Beidou’s ship, and you gathered little about this strange new individual. He was an outlaw of Inazuma, barely escaping the Shogun’s Army who was out to get him when he boarded the Alcor; now he recites poems whenever he can and warns the crew of coming storms. You were fascinated by him and listened when he would sit at the mast and recite his beautifully crafted poems. Once you asked him to recite one for you and you could see his eyes glimmer against the sunset when he would tell you about the rolling waves and the cradling breeze. After that, you found yourself talking more and more with the young samurai that the crew began to notice that they would pester and tease you about him. Kazuha only took note of that and made sure to make some of his poems about you. You were close enough now that Kazuha began to open up- about his past, his love of traveling, and the tragedy he has witnessed back at home and why he’s so adamant about never going back. You found yourself becoming conflicted then.

As much as you enjoyed seeing the world with Kazuha, you missed your home terribly. You missed being able to wake up to the gentle chirp of birds in the morning, the accessibility of food from the shops, the calmness of it all. As much as you loved the hectic anger of the sea or the pleasing calm that came with new places, you would love nothing more than to settle down with Kazuha. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him; waking up to him in the morning, making food with him, the domesticity of it all. But you knew Kazuha- he wouldn’t give up his life of wandering for the world- even if that meant his entire world was you. Besides, he wasn’t ready to go back to normalcy when the only normal thing he had before his life now was of his friend- and staying in the place that took him away made Kazuha retract from conversations relating to it. Even when he had gotten closure from his quest to find a new wielder to his friend’s Vision- which had been him all along- he was more compelled to go out into the world and find life anew to erase the old memories once and for all.

When the Alcor finally docked on Inazuma after the borders opened up again, you were reluctant to leave but you knew in your heart that you belonged someplace else. Only when the ship set out to sea again did you see Kazuha clinging to the ends of the boat, yelling your name desperately as if you could only wave goodbye.

“I’ll come back to you, Y/N!” Was what you would hear time and time again. You cried at every sunset watching the Alcor leave while you and Kazuha watched each other wave goodbye until the other would fade from view. He would come and go- tell you stories about his latest travels and bring you things from around the world. Though his time was short lived, you savored every moment you could spend with him. But even though Kazuha kept his promise to return to you, you knew well that his heart was set out to sea, and you were tired of waiting for a day that would never come. One time when he had returned, you introduced him to your lover and you noticed Kazuha’s expression dropped as he excused himself to go help with unloading the shipments. Before you would go out into the docks to once again wave him goodbye, Kazuha wasn’t there to yell out your name. The next time you two had seen each other was months after the first time he wasn’t there to see you set him off.

“Why couldn’t you wait for me, Y/N?” Was the first thing Kazuha asked you once he stepped foot onto the harbor. You were surprised by this. You waited for months, years even, for the day that Kazuha may come home to you finally. Maybe it was the other way around- that he had waited for you to once again board the ship with him. But both of you knew you had separate lives to live.

“I did wait for you, Kazuha.” You said. “Our worlds are just too different.” Since then, you two only shared civil goodbyes as Kazuha watched you turn your back to go home while his heart ached as you were the first to stop waving. He watched your life unfold before him each time the Alcor docked on Inazuma- you had a lover, then you were married, then you had your first child. Kazuha knew by then that he had nothing to come home to. Even when you had been the closest thing he had to normalcy, the closest thing he had to home, you too had gone away from him.