And Although Ive Always Hated Him After Knowing What He Did - Blog Posts

like at all actually Coming back to this now Although the saying still stands and it has applied to my life before My intentions were not good this time Sure i never meant to harm my friend But my actions were fueled by the hate i felt towards that bastard I wanted to hurt him I wanted to get the satisfaction of hurting him I was only thinking of myself and my needs And projecting all the anger i repressed for almost 5 years towards another bastard whose face and name i never learned But i knew this bastards face and name And although ive always hated him after knowing what he did The fact i couldnt do anything to the other bastard or talk about the situation with someone because i had to keep a secret That made the hate grow and grow over the years And i let that anger and hate grow unchecked And when i found him... I just saw red I need my actions to stem out of love from now on and not hate or anger And work on myself I need to be better than this I failed my friend in more ways than one I feel like a drunk driver who accidentally killed a kid Sure you didnt mean to kill that kid But you still chose to drink and you still chose to drive in that state when there's so much other things you could've done Jesus christ i hate myself