And At This Point I Am NOT CHANGING IT - Blog Posts

Moon 8

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Halfway around the world lies the one thing that you want

Buried in the ground, hundreds of miles down

Fogfreckle hasn’t stopped shuffling around since sundown. Moonstar may not have her eyes open, nose tucked firmly into her tail, but she can tell that he hasn’t stopped moving because the constant shff shff sound of him shifting around in his nest is driving her to madness. 

Willing sleep to come just a little bit faster, Moonstar flattens her ears as close to her head as she can get them and fluffs her tail up against her face. 

Shff, shff.

Fed up, Moonstar uncurls her tail from her face and sits bolt upright, mouth open to shout at her brother to just lay still already, but Fogfreckle cuts her off by springing quite suddenly to his paws. Having not seen him do much more than curl in a ball for two entire moons, the sight shocks Moonstar into stillness. 

“I can’t,” he meows into the darkness. “I can’t do it. I’m not going to suffocate in this– this– cave for another heartbeat. I’m going hunting.”

Moonstar’s annoyance flees from her immediately, like a mouse slipping from her claws. “Wait–” She scrambles to her paws, panic overtaking her as Fogfreckle reaches around to grab the edge of his cobweb wrappings in his teeth. “Wait, don’t! You can’t– what if your wounds open back up–”

With a wild tug, Fogfreckle rips at his cobwebs, pulling the sticky strands away from his fur. He keeps going, yanking at them, agitation and annoyance etched in the sharp lines of his thin limbs. Moonstar reaches for him, attempts to get him to stop, and Fogfreckle spins around with his hackles fluffed out and swipes at her. Narrowly dodging the reach of his claws, Moonstar gasps, retreating.

For a heartbeat, both cats stare at each other, tension thick in the air between them.

“Stop treating me like I’m a helpless kit,” Fogfreckle spits, torn cobwebs hanging from his jaws. They lay tattered against his white fur in shredded strands. “I’m fine! I don’t need you to– to play medicine cat at me! Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do!”

His words sweep against Moonstar like a cliffside gust, the hurt they bring almost physically pushing her back. “I… I…” Several emotions cycle through her in the space of a single heartbeat, until it finally settles into a pulsing anger that crackles over her pelt like lightning. “I’m only trying to help! I’m looking out for you– we only have each other, in case you’ve forgotten,” she snaps, voice nasty, horrible satisfaction welling within her as the words strike her brother and he recoils. “We left the rest of our family behind, buried under a landslide!”

“As if I could forget!” Fogfreckle explodes. His reflective eyes are almost as sharp as the claws he’s sinking into the earth. “I can’t– I was useless to help them, and I’ve been useless for moons to help you, letting you go out on your own every day, when I’m the only one left who can keep you safe!” 

All of the anger rushes out of Moonstar, fast as a roaring river, as she stares at her brother, heart shattering. 

“I’m just–” he continues, yowls bouncing off of the boulders around them. “Sitting around in this dark hole, doing nothing from sunrise to sunset, wasting time we could be using to find a new camp and you– if something happened– I could lose you, too– Moonstar, I wouldn’t even know–” Fogfreckle breaks off on a hiccuping sob, voice losing its volume as it takes on a shaky quality and he ducks his head, hiding his pained expression from his sister.

Moonstar stares at her brother’s shaking shoulders. Guilt claws at her insides for the words she spat at her brother, the memory of her lost Clanmates sitting like a stone in her throat.

“Fogfreckle… I can handle myself,” Moonstar mews quietly. “I can handle both of us! Look at me,” she says, gesturing to herself with a sweep of her tail. “I’m here, aren’t I? I’m fine! I’ve been hunting for us for moons and I’m fine. You’re the one that’s hurting, and I’m– you need to let me take care of you sometimes, too.”

After a heartbeat of silence, Fogfreckle mews with a wet, broken voice, “you’re an awful excuse for a hunter. But,” he adds, flicking his eyes towards her, “you’re a pretty good sister.”

A bubble of incredulous laughter escapes Moonstar before she can stop it. She can’t even be mad about the hunting bit – he’s right. She hopes he’s right about the sister part, too. She butts her head against her brother’s with a purr.

“I’m supposed to protect you,” Fogfreckle whispers.

“Where did you get that from? We protect each other. I’m sorry for fussing over you so much, just–” Moonstar releases a huff of breath and sits back heavily on her haunches. Her tail swishes the ground. She waits until Fogfreckle sits across from her with a shaky sigh. “I worry about you, too. It doesn’t make you any less brave to need help. I worry about you because I care about you– not because I think you can’t deal with it on your own. Not because I think you’re weak.” Fogfreckle’s mouth twists into a grimace as he casts his eyes to the side, avoiding Moonstar’s gaze. A weak smile lifts the corner of her muzzle. She’ll never get her brother to admit out loud how much stress he puts on himself trying to stay responsible for the both of them, but she knows now. She knows.

She pushes herself to her paws and gestures at Fogfreckle with her tail. “Well, we’re not getting any sleep now. You’re seriously up for hunting?”

Clearly relieved at being rescued from having to talk about his feelings in any further detail, Fogfreckle twists around to pull the remaining shreds of cobwebbing from his back. He licks his fur into place, carefully covering the freshly healed pink marks of where the eagle had sunk its talons into him. “I can hunt. It doesn’t even look that bad anymore, see?”

Moonstar smiles. Thank StarClan she doesn’t have to do a botch job wrapping him with fresh cobwebs anymore; she’s really not cut out for it. 

With a stretch, she pads from under the boulders, pleased beyond relief that they won’t have to spend another night under these suffocating press of rocks. “Let’s go hunting, then.”

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Don't ever forget, We haven't lost it all, yet.

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