And Then Because It Works - Blog Posts

After long, unfruitful investigation, Bruce books an appointment. As Batman.

He fully intends to learn more about Jazz, and this appears to be the only avenue open to him. He is outfitted with every precaution in the book (especially magic prevention).

Jazz greets him with a gentle smile. Then sits him down, and asks how she can help.

Bruce: Hn.

Jazz: In your appointment, you indicated that you wished to investigate if I was the right therapist for you. I know you struggle with boundaries, so let’s discuss those first.

Bruce: Hn.

Jazz: I will never use interventions you have not explicitly consented to. This includes, but is not limited to, any medical, magical, or technological influence. In addition, I will not disclose any information I gain from these sessions, in any way, without your permission. I am willing to sign a magical contract enforcing such, which would prevent any chance of such information or actions being coerced from me using any mortal, technological, interdimensional, or magical means.

Bruce: …Hn

Jazz: you are welcome to inspect said contract. *places paper in front of him * I will sign it if you are satisfied, however long that may take. By necessity it is two sided, and if you sign you would also be magically bound, but as it currently stands your signature would bind you to nothing. Any negotiation you wish to have about the contents can be scheduled for your next appointment, but please let me know if you will be bringing counsel.

Bruce, suspiciously: Hn

Jazz: You are welcome to consult anyone you wish. If your investigation raises questions unrelated to my practice, please answer them using the proper channels.

Bruce: Hn

Jazz: Of course, if you would rather me not use the contract, that is also very much an option. I believed having an unbreakable assurance of my actions might reassure, but as everything it is optional.

Bruce: …hm

Jazz: I understand that security is important to you. I am not trying to hurt you or your city, but I do not expect you to take that on faith. As I morally oppose the methods of surveillance you normally employ, I am offering this as a compromise.

Bruce is sure the contract is a trap. He utilizes every precaution for moving and studying it. When all his information agrees with that said by Jazz, he calls in Constantine.

Constantine would like to know where Bruce got a soul binding contract made by the king of all the afterlife’s, and why it was set up to bind two humans, and how he had managed to negotiate getting it set up so well, and what type of contract protects Bruce and his family so well.

Constantine would like Bruce to know that there is no catch.

Constantine would like Bruce to know that the lack of a catch was almost certainly accidental, everything supernatural tries to add catches, and Bruce should seize the opportunity as fast as possible before the lack of catch is noticed.

And so, the next day, Bruce makes an appointment and signs the contract.

Jazz does too.

She folds her hands together, and Bruce waits for her to try and exploit a catch she had messed up putting in the contract.

Instead, she smiles, and asks how he’s been doing.

It takes a months worth of appointments before Bruce realizes that she literally intended there to be no catch, she’s just here for therapy, and by then he is,, feeling better? His children are happier? He is more effective as a person??

It is reluctantly that he admits that those people who kept telling him he needs therapy might have been right.

So I've seen a lot of "Jazz works as a therapist at Arkam" in the dp x dc fandom, and while I like the concept, I also feel like Jazz would take one look at the place and immediately be like "what the absolute fuck" at just the everything of the place.

Like, she either nopes out after the tour during the interview or quits not too long afterward starting there, not because she can't take it but because she's so appalled by what's going on there and can smell the corruption rolling off the place and knows no one sent to there is ever actually going to get the help they need.

So Jazz decides to open a private practice instead while still being absolutely determined to work with the various rogues in the city, she is here to help and nothing is going to stop her.

So she just starts showing up at known hangouts of rogues and during their heists/schemes/sprees, and even fights between them and the batfam, just like

"Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Dr. Jasmine Fenton/Nightingale/whatever last name she’s using and I was hoping we could talk!"

Casually kicks a baterang away without looking because she's being polite and professional!

"I understand that your experience with therapy through Arkam has been nothing but atrocious and that you are rightfully -"

Kicks Batman away without breaking eye contact or a sweat.

"Suspicious of attempting therapy again, and Idon't want to force anything on you, therapy should be on your terms after the experiences you've had but -"

Grabs Robin out of the air as he leaps at the rogue she's talking to and tucks him under her arm, ignoring his feral hissing and all attempts to break her hold.

"-I really think that you'd find it beneficial, even if I'm not the right therapist for you."

The rogue in question is having the time of their life and takes Jazz's business card - and a few extra to pass around - not really intending to actually ever book a therapy appointment with her but way too entertained and excited to share this madness with everyone else.

But then one of the rogues actually looks up Jazz's website and sees all the various safe guards she’s put in place to ensure that any villians that come to her will be protected while seeing her - soundproof therapy room, regular sweeps for listening and tracking devices, the most insane firewalls and protections anyone has ever seen on her network, and ooh she provides snacks and drinks!

So someone finally books an appointment with her, half convinced she's either going to turn them in or is a villain herself intent to experiment on them, but then it’s actually really nice??? And they feel a lot better afterwards?? She doesn't even say anything to indicate that she wants them to stop being villains, she just wants them to be okay??

So more and more rogues start going to her, and Batman was already losing his mind about this woman before - Oracle can't hack her system?!? And her background check shows a totally normal Psychiatrist?? - but now half of Gotham's heavy hitters and a dozen or so other minor league villains are seeing her regularly and every time he tries to get info on any plans the rogues might be scheme via her office it fails utterly. Nightwing got knocked out with something called a creep stick and when he tried to break in himself to get answers she just appeared out of no where and gave him the most scathing lecture about doctor-patient confidentiality before bullying him off her property and threatening to sick her brother on him if he tried again?

And because she's become such a figure in the Gotham underworld, she gets the attention of Joker.

And everyone, rogues and Bats alike, are terrified that she’s going to try and take him on as a patient like she has so many other villains in the city and that's just a recipe for tragedy.

But then the Joker is on his way to the hospital with two broken legs and the fear of god beat into him babbling about eldritch nightmares and whenever anyone asks Jazz what happened she just shrugs and just says things like "I refused him as a patient, he's not my problem." Or "My brother doesn't like clowns." And just, does not elaborate.

Batman is losing his mind over it all. Jazz is just happy to be able to actually help the rogues. Arkam is less happy about how she absolutely destroys their reputation.