And This Does Show Up In Tags! - Blog Posts

wwaaaeeeww yes please!!!

"Smiling at the person that doesn't like me."

-Cheer for babies/And The Kids

Tw: Self deprecating thoughts, mostly sfw just angsty, alcoholic/smoker nikto

Nikto didn't like you. At least thats what you thought. You couldn't see behind the mask. You couldn't see the countless nights he's pondered getting down on his knees and begging you to have him, to kill him or let him live he'd let you decide.

A sinner to a judge, endlessly skewed only to be brought underneath your presence.

He prays you'll save him, sometimes just the thought of you saves him.

You save him from countless nights of blackout drinking. Saving him from endless chain-smoking. Save him from ending it all.

Sometimes he understands it. How he was raised, maybe they had it too.

Maybe they were as sick in the head as he was.

Maybe then he'd understand it all.

Oh how he'd treat you to the finest things if he could. Restrained by his own pride. What a useless thing he was told to upkeep. Would pride have saved him from countless beatings? Would pride have saved him from poison poured into his brain from his ears and tongue?

Would pride let him have you?

He should throw it all away really. Just ignore his own life and thoughts to be your toy. Its a fate befitting for him, something new, recycled.

Strip himself nude and prostrate himself for your amusement.

What foolish thoughts.

But it was befitting for him.

Maybe he could live at your feet. Rediscover ways to feel, teaching an old dog new tricks.

Maybe he should just be normal and treat you to a dinner date. It would he normal, maybe not to him but maybe to you.

Drink a couple wine glasses and eat, a compromise between him and you.

It sounds nice in theory but could he handle all that? Maybe for you he could.

Become nice and sweet for you, something better for you yet still his own person.

Fuck, you were changing him into a person.

He should smile back when you smile at him.