Ask Zhanna - Blog Posts

Hey, bear mom. What's your favorite thing about Soldier?

He is very bombastic man. He will buy me honey so that I may go onto the battlefield with an advantage, and he will join me in the bloodshed. I adore all of him but especially this.

I tried to challenge a bear and ended up in the hospital for a while...any tips?

Do not fall into the trap of making yourself look big to scare the bear, is best if the bear under estimates you! Then straddle bears snout and wring its neck with your arms. This is strategy if you are not as strong as me though, if you are as strong as me then you can just fistfight it!

mother...

...mother i crave violence...

Is good, if you are to be any child of mine, bloodlust is a key element!

Shanna I eould fight you but unfortunately I am a stick of a person but I could ask a friend to if they want to fight you

If you are weak then that is just more reason to fight me so that you can get stronger! (You also might die but what is life without risks?!)

Zhanna, is sparring a love language?

Absolutely! Jane and I's wedding ceremony is going to be a spar!

ALAS I FIND MYSELF IN A SITUATION if i [needed/direly acquired] to FIGHT A ROBOT TO THE DEATH\n what [methods/tactics/things] would you [recommend]? I HAVE AN AXE AND IM NOT AFRAID TO KILL IT

Just bash it's head in. You can't cut metal with axe but you sure as hell can crush it!

Zhanna, great killer of bears and the master of fighting covered in honey, I have a very important question to ask you. What is your favorite animal?

Emus. I love birds and the Sniper told me about how his country lost a war to them which is admirable (to the birds not the Australians)

Question, decided you were the best person to ask this to, was heavy always the tallest (biggest) sibling or was he shorter when he was young?

He and I were the same height when we escaped gulag. Fighting bears and such improved his physique, and while I fought often too, he insisted on hunting most of time.

What is your favourite thing about your husband?

EVERYTHING!

[She runs over to Jane (@listenupcupcakes ) and tackles him]

[stares at you with eyes as wide as dinner plates]

-@trashcollectinggremlin

If you so much as touch me I'll break your arm.

how are the raccoons doing?

Wonderfully! They are competent soldiers!

What is your opinion on miss Pauling?

She is quite mentally strong, but if I were to kick her I believe she would die instantly. She is fine.

Hello big lady- Uh... Opinion on magic?

-A very scared A.L. Magic Anon

(mod do you allow magic anons to mess with Zhanna?)

I will kill you.

(Ooc - absolutely!)

If you weren't in a relationship with Soldier and you had to marry one of the other mercs, who would it be?

This question bewilders me, but I will answer. I find demoman quite fun company. Jane has invited me to go drinking with them and he lasted more than 5 seconds against me in an arm wrestle.

Hello zhanna did you know that you are very pretty

Da. People tell me all the time. Especially Jane!

have you and jane thought of any baby names yet?

Da. We already have 2 adopted children, but one of our own we've decided on the name Liberty.

you vs 1000 stag beetles, how long would it take

5 seconds at most. Beetles are very small no matter how many there are. I will blow them up.

Hey Zhanna, It’s Sniper. Don’t think we met properly but I heard you and Soldier are engaged, one question. Would you still love Soldier if he was a worm?

Of course I would still love Jane if he was worm! It would likely be because of the old wizard if he was so I'd just kill the wizard!

Hey Zhanna!

Behold, my dog.

I’m getting stronger so I can fight you

My God! That is a absolutely gorgeous dog you have, Tumblr user Gravitytrips! And likely a powerful one!

pls let me die a happy woman and crush my head with those thighs.

my mind needs to be destroyed

Your mind does not need to be destroyed but it does need to be wiped because that is stupid idea. I am engaged!

Here is a small cookie

That is indeed a VERY small cookie!

🫵

Boop.

(Please do not take my fingers I need those)

[She bites your finger]

Uh.. Zhanna? A magic anon clown shrunk your husband.

I am aware. Their blood will make a good mixer for Jane and I's whiskey.

Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah 😽

Hello cat!

Hello Zhanna!

🇺🇸

for your fiancé

He will love this, thank you!

What did I do? Why are you looking at me? I haven't been rude to you, but that's not why I'm here, The Administrator is willing to hire you to work for the Red team, despite not being entirely convinced about you

-Ms. Pauling

You know what you did. Stay away from my man. This is great news however! I am prepared to go to battle right away!

Skibi- you know what zhanna? I'm not gonna skibidi gyatt you, anyways.. I LOVE YOU 😋💚💚

What?

I shall admire you from a far then due to the fact you’re in a great relationship. You and Solly are my favourite couple <3

Da.

Hhhhh I love you so much 💕 ❤️

I am engaged, so while you may love me all you will ever be able to achieve is despair.

It's just a cute lil frog. Do you like it? :D

Hmmm...it is acceptable. I will name Sergeant Sticky.