Black Widow X Reader Angst - Blog Posts

Crying rn, this is ADORABLE- I love them and the soft ambience of this chapter makes me feel so happy🥰💕

kotenok part. eleven

you and wanda talk and so do you and your girlfriend.

older!natasha romanoff x younger!reader

warnings: major age gap, natasha being a cute sappy older girlfriend, talks about past abuse, angst but the good kind.

series masterlist

Wanda’s room is settled a few doors from yours. It’s the one at the end of the hallway, it sits closed, the lock clicked. It’s the only one that’s locked and isolated from the rest and when the silence of the house settles in, you understand why she chose this suite.

You don’t force your way in but instead, a gentle knock caresses the oak wood of her door. It echoes loud throughout the hallway and almost makes you cringe but she actually opens the door and finds you staring at her, you almost feel bad for intruding in a moment that was supposed to be her’s.

She stares at you with a glare, a purse to her lips that almost makes them look like a scowl. “Can I help you?”

You gently smiled at the woman, guilt and sympathy written on the features of your face. You couldn’t possibly have known what Wanda was feeling but you knew she could with you. You didn’t mind that she could read your thoughts, Natasha had always been against it, soemthing about the carelessness of your actions or the way you held yourself when it came to privacy.

Perhaps, it was because you never had it growing up. It was something earned. Even back then, HYDRA never really gave much privacy to any of the test subjects. You were forced to live within one another. Cells made for a two people capacity were filled with about five girls at once.

It was easier said than done but Wanda didn’t need to know any of that just so you could guilt trip her into talking to you. If it was something she didn’t want to do, you would respect it.

You were here just to hope that you could earn her’s in return.

“Are you alright?” It was genuine as that but the way the Sokovian’s features twisted in disgust made her think otherwise.

“Am I alright?” She scoffed. Which you frowned in response, your head cocking in question. “Maybe if you kept it in your fucking pants then yeah, I would’ve been alright.”

Your shoulders sagged at her accusation. You never meant to hurt her. You understood where she came from. With Irina and everything, Natasha and Yelena. Wanda was a stepping stone that felt like she was taken advantage of. You did feel for her, but you couldn’t and wouldn’t excuse her for that.

“I’m sorry if I’ve offended you.”

She shook her head and offered a laugh.

“I really am, Wanda. I know how much Natasha meant to you and I’ve never mean to hurt you in any way. I know I can’t offer you solace, I’m not Natasha but I don’t want carry the burden of hurting you.”

The Sokovian looked at you as she blinked. You couldn’t tell what was going on in her mind, it was too odd. While you meant every word you said, you just hoped that she could process them to fully embrace her reality.

The silence between you were broken when you heard padded steps down the hallway. When you turned, and looked, Natasha strode towards you in the jean shorts she wore.

“Detka...” Her accent was stronger and you offered her a twitch of your lips. She walked faster and when she finally found you, her eyes also saw her past lover. She turned back to you, her facade returning as she grinned. “We’re playing truth or dare.”

Wanda gave a snort. “What are you guys? Twelve?”

You giggled at the Sokovian’s comment, which in tow, made Natasha smile. But it dropped as soon as the comment fell silent and Wanda stood awkwardly between the three of you.

Natasha tugged on your arm, acting like a child as if she wasn’t twenty years your senior. You smiled at her then turned to Wanda.

“I mean what I said, Wanda.” She blinked at you. You said no less and when you turned to walk with Natasha, she led you down the hallway, her hand intertwined with yours, her lips against your temple.

“I love you, okay?”

You nodded. “I know...”

The sunset at the lake makes everything okay. Your eyes glaze over at the way the waters casts a nice glow, the sun, warm, but the wind makes it chill.

You smile at the view. Something about it makes your body ache and relax with a snap of a finger. Your eyes close when you felt a touch to your back, a soothing dancing finger along your exposed spine.

You love it here and you never want to leave.

You apparently expressed it vocally when Natasha chuckles beside you and kisses your exposed shoulder.

“Me too, kotenok.”

You beamed at her, excited by the idea. “Really?”

She smiled gently, her features soft and kind, and her eyes twinkled green. It made the insides of your stomach churn and your heart ache.

Natasha twirled a strand of your hair around her slender finger. It made your cheeks flush in return.

“If that’s what you really want. Then I’d do it in a heartbeat.” Her sultry voice held a genuine tone to it. They always did and there was a reason why you found solace and comfort in Natasha. She was someone you could rely on, life or death.

“You know I wouldn’t ask that of you.” You reached out to the older woman to touch her hand. Your eyes carefully examined her features, the wrinkles around her eye, the smile lines on her face. God, this woman would be the death of you.

Every bit of Natasha made her. But you know, there was some part of her that reminded you of Irina. It wasn’t bad. It was just... nostalgic.

“You have too much here to give it up.”

Natasha almost chuckled as she shook her head.

“Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it for you.”

You sighed and almost felt an ache in your heart. Not the bad kind, but certainly not the good one either. It was just the way Natasha said it. The way she would drop everything for you. The selfishness of it all.

You leaned against her. Cheek against her arm while she held you against her. Your eyes closed once more.

“Even if we did,” you started, “I’m not saying I want to. But if we did... Would you be happy with that lifestyle?”

Natasha sighed.

“I think it’s something I could adjust to.” You nodded but she wasn’t done. “I love you, that’s all I know is for certain. I wouldn’t mind living out the rest of my life if it’s with you.”

Warmth raced to your cheeks and you flushed, Natasha couldn’t help but chuckle at your state despite her soothing words prior. You fell into her hold and melted.

“I can’t believe I have someone like you living.”

“I can.” She smiled as she huddled against your body, feeling as you relaxed under her touch. “I hope everything was fine with Wanda.”

You frowned and you shook your head.

“I feel responsible.”

“For what?”

“For taking you away.”

Natasha shook her head and frowned. She let you sit up and when you did, she stared at you with confused eyes and a pinched set of brows.

“You didn’t take me away, kotenok. I chose to be with you.” She cupped your cheek, and in the comfort of her soft palms, she titled your head to face her gaze.

“What me and Wanda had nothing to do you with you and I understand you feel some part in hurting my ex... You don’t. It’s between me and her. And I’m incredibly sorry that she had decided to make you feel that way.”

“I don’t hope for her to forgive me easily.” You shrugged. “But I wish she would let me be happy”

Natasha shook her head and frowned. “And there’s nothing wrong with that, my love. You are allowed to be selfish. You deserve every bit to be selfish. Okay?”

You nodded softly at her words but the tears that stained your cheeks made her frown deepened. She wiped them away with her thumb and sighed.

“It’s okay, baby.” You shook your head, attempting to swallow the sob bubbling your throat. But it was futile as you started hiccuping, shaking with a cry as Natasha took you in and embraced you.

“I want you to live the very best version of your life.” Natasha kissed the top of your head. “With or without me, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”

You sniffed, calming down with every hiccuping breath you took. While your chest ached at the idea of living a life with out Natasha, you knew with her memories you could.

And as the sunsets, your breathing falling along with it, you sit at the edge of the dock with your girlfriend at peace. Everything about it. Her love, her embrace.

“We should head in.”

The silence answers her and when she stands, you take her hand and you let her lead you inside. The steps against the wooden floor makes it sound padded and both of you just smile at the way the silence of the hallway echoes every breath.

That night, you fall asleep clothed against Natasha. Buried in the crook of her neck, she smells like the sun and everything you admire.