Bsd X Reader - Blog Posts

DEEEER happy (late) new year 🎊

i been so busy with work 😭 hope you're resting well!

been thinking about dazai lately as i usually do, he would be such a fucking pain in the ass if you gave him a drawing (if you gave a mouse a cookie style LMFAO)

it doesn't even have to be anything good, just some stupid doodle of a cat, and then he pesters you every day for a new drawing just for him

oh GOD and if you actually draw as a hobby? INSUFFERABLE, he'd probably dig through the trash for your discarded drawings or smth (smfh this man) and then complain cause why didnt you show HIM first instead of wasting perfectly good paper!

lol this is so stupid 💀

anyway byee -🩵

I’M SO GLAD YOU MENTIONED IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT.

Your face scrunches up as you stare down at the corner of your paper. Would it be weird to give this to him? The last thing you want is to be perceived as some weird stalker, and you know he'd find a way to tease you for this. But... is throwing it out worse?

"Hey, Yosano," you tapped her on the shoulder before taking a seat on one of the medical cots she was working near. "I have a question for you."

"Shoot," she speaks listlessly, continuing to clean up the many medical papers littering her desk. It's not that she's uninterested, just a little out of focus.

There's a clear hesitation, causing the doctor to spin and look at you. Fiddling with the torn paper in your hand, you sigh. "This is probably weird, but, I drew Dazai."

"Don't see how that's weird," she replies, an amused smile on her face at your awkwardness.

"Well, I doodled him, I should say. Just in the margins of my r-report— " that you tore up. Oops. " —because he was across from me. And I could just throw it away, but I could give it to him. Would he think I'm a total creep if I offered it up..?"

And after a pep talk from Yosano, you found yourself standing beside Dazai's desk. His eyes lit up, having already noticed long before you had even registered it that you were drawing him. Everyone at the Agency was aware of your hobby, a few members having taken small doodles in the past, and Dazai was excited it was finally his time.

— that, along with your continued glances between him and your page earlier made it obvious it was him.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asks slyly, his tone higher pitched than normal and mischievous. "Are you visiting little ol' me just to say hi?"

"Not quite. I drew this, if you want it." Trying to swallow your awkwardness, you hold out the paper scrap to Dazai. For a small sketch, it was surprisingly detailed. So this is how you viewed him, hm? He'd always known he was pretty, but...

"Is it possible to fall in love with myself?"

You choke back a laugh. "Alright, Narcissus. I'll take that to mean you like it?"

Dazai nods happily, jumping from his chair to rest his body weight onto you. "More more more! Please? Next do us together! Or even us kissing," he wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

The laugh finally bubbles over as your hands rest on Dazai's sides. "Get back to work! Or Kunikida will stop letting me draw at work, and then you'll have nothing."

"So that means if I stop, I'll have more?" He grins, his face close enough to yours to make you stumble back.

"Do you have to be so close? You're so clingy," you mutter, still holding his sides to keep him from coming closer. "If you get off, I'll consider supplying you with more doodles. Maybe."

And Dazai immediately jumps off of you and back to work.

Hiiii I have literally read through your entire blog today after reading one of your latest fics and finding out your blog is entirely about Dazai so I figured I might as well request something, now that I have read everything (I need more).

So how about a Ada! Dazai and Pm! Dazai with a s/o that instead of just asking for a kiss they steal something from him right in front of his face and then just run away and ask for a kiss in exchange for the stolen item. I just thought about this and I figured it would be a pretty funny scenario :)

tysm anon! i hope you like this just as much!

PM!dazai

"I know you aren't gonna hurt me, Dazai," you grinned, watching as he stalked towards you after you stole his tie.

"Not if you give me what I want," he responds promptly. As much as he loves blowing off work, Mori might not be so forgiving if he's late to this particular meeting. "I'll go without my tie, if you'd prefer."

You let out a dramatic gasp, hand flying over your mouth. "And break uniform?! How unprofessional!"

"The Port Mafia doesn't have a uniform— "

"No, that simply won't do. You'll have to take this tie from me, yes yes," you nod at your own words, as though it was the logical conclusion.

A few steps brings Dazai closer to you, causing you to grin. You stand promptly in place, not letting him scare you back into a corner. "I know you won't hurt me."

"You already said that. What can I do to make my darling little partner give me back my tie?"

You pretend to ponder for a long moment, letting out a low hum and looking away with a hand on your chin. "What can you do, what can you do..." you click your tongue. "Gosh, I don't know!"

"Gosh?"

"Why, I suppose a kiss," you pause for emphasis, "might be adequate..."

Dazai stalks even closer, only a few inches away from you. Breath catching in your throat, you lose all playfulness, just staring into his big brown doe eyes like a lovesick puppy. You gulp before closing your own, slowly leaning in...

"Yoink! Gotcha!" Dazai pulls the tie from your loosened grip, taking a step back with a victorious grin.

"Did you just say yoink— "

"Never take your eyes off the enemy, darling! Surely you know that by now," he presses the tip of his pointer finger to your nose. "You're cute, but next time try a little harder." Slipping on his tie and barely tightening it around his neck, he sends you a blasé wave. "I'm headed to my meeting now. Maybe you can try again when I get back."

You stand still with a dumbfounded look on your face, watching as he leaves the room. An embarrassed blush decorates your cheeks; your boyfriend is such an asshole.

ADA!dazai

"You're taking your poor, innocent boyfriend's pen? How am I supposed to fill out my reports now?"

You only giggle mischievously in response, holding his pen behind your back. "Guess you'll want it back then?"

He hums for a moment before sighing. "Well, if my lovely partner wants it who am I to take it from them?" Dazai replies in adoration, elbows planted on his desk as he rests his head in his palms. "Besides, you're quite cute when you act all proud of yourself. What's on your mind, cutie?"

A pout takes the place of your grin. "Don't you want your pen back?.."

Even though he just said no, Dazai stands up and nods after a moment. Hands dangling at his sides impatiently, wanting nothing more than to hold you, he decides to play along. "My favorite pen," he pouts back. "Please can I have it back? What do you want in return?" Of course he knew this wasn't for no reason. You wanted him to want the pen, so you could wager it for something else.

You decide not to comment on how he was being so obvious about only playing along for your sake — either way, you'll get your desired outcome. "Maybe... a kiss?"

Dazai grins. "Why didn't you say so!" he replies with excitement, practically jumping onto you to press his lips to yours and slide his hands into your sweatshirt's pockets. 

You drop the pen accidentally, caught off guard by his sudden action. Quickly, you place your arms on his shoulders and kiss back.

Pulling back, he grabs your hand and starts for the Agency's door. "Mm, my partner is so warm and cozy. Let's go home early and kiss there instead!"

"What about the pen..?"

ADA!dazai again but he's a big arrogant meanie tbh!!

"Why don't you just tell me what you want, pretty," Dazai's thumb traces your bottom lip, hand cupping your jaw. "No need to play these games, hm?"

"I told you, I didn't take your report," you roll your eyes, arms crossed.

A condescending cooing escapes Dazai's lips that makes your eye twitch. "Babe, I know you just want a kiss from me. I'll give it to you if you give me my report back... In fact, maybe I can give you more,~" he purrs into your ear.

You brush off his touches, clearly unamused. "I didn't. Take. Your report."

"Playing hard to get won't get you want you want. C'mon... it's the only report I've finished," he moves on to pouting, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. "Kunikida said he'd make me a coffee if I got it done on time."

"You're 22, why do you need incentives to do your job anyway?" You roll your eyes.

"Baby, we both know I want a kiss as well. Just hand me the report and my lips are all yours. Or else, I'll have to spend time working on redoing it instead of next to you," he tries once again.

And once again, your eye twitches, fed up with his accusations. "I told you— "

"Uh, Dazai..?" Atsushi timidly speaks up. "Is this the report you're talking about?" He holds up a piece of paper, barely legible chicken scratch covering the blank spaces.

"Ah, Atsushi! You're such a kind soul! I must've accidentally slipped it in with your pile when pushing the rest of my reports onto— eh, never mind. You're a life saver!" Dazai jumps onto Atsushi with a hug before snatching the report to show you. "Look, love! Atsushi found it!"

Tapping your foot in annoyance, you stare down at Dazai, which he didn't think was possible given his large stature. "I'm sleeping alone tonight, aren't I."

"I'll make sure to leave blankets on the couch for you."

15!dazai is overtaking my brain bc just imagine him taking u to an arcade and trying to win u a plushie at the claw machine bc he noticed u staring at it but failing miserably and he refuses to give up until he gets that plushie

“It’s okay, Dazai, let’s just move on,” you laughed slightly, amused by his determined expression as he failed once again.

“This stupid claw machine is rigged!” He groaned, resting his head on your shoulder with a pout.

Nodding in agreement, you try and tug him away. “Exactly. So let’s move on, ‘kay?”

A small child ran by, the same brown plush design that was flaunted inside the claw machine was grasped in her hands. Dazai lifted his head up to look at you, to which you only sighed. “Her parent probably got it for her, don’t— “

Four more quarters were slotted into the machine that only needs two to play, the lights flickering as its speakers started playing the same grating song.

Seven dollars. He’d already blown seven dollars in quarters on this stupid machine with nothing to show for it, and you were growing bored. “If you’re gonna try and win this plushie for me, I’m gonna try and find one for you.”

He nods dismissively, too focused on trying to line up the dangling claw. The sight makes you smile: it was always nice to see him act his age, too used to the serious Dazai that ruled by Mori’s side. Sliding 4 quarters from his pocket, you vanished to the other side of the row of machines. Hm… what would he like…

“WHA— Hey!” Dazai called your name in shock, and you quickly rushed back to his side. “Look! Look look look!” He was jumping up and down as he finally made it, staring up at the big CONGRATULATIONS! flashing on the display on top of the machine.

You stood in shock. Less than two seconds is how long you must’ve been away from him! How did he..?

Holding the stuffed deer plush he pushed into your hands, you gave him a celebratory kiss on the cheek. “You did it!”

Dazai puffed his chest out confidently, hands on his hips. “Yep! Guess you were just bad luck.”

You deadpanned before hitting him over the head with the plush. “I take my kiss back!” You huff, which only causes Dazai to laugh.

“It’s too late! I got a kiss!” He starts chanting, running away as you chase him through the aisles of the arcade.

you two got kicked out of the arcade after running into a bunch of things. mori had to pay to replace a machine and he was pissed 😋

Had a silly thought of like. Nendroid dazai... Being alive

Like ada nendroid Dazai who comforts u when ure asleep because he didn't want you knowing he's alive but then you know after you got him an oda nendroid to keep him company

AND LIKE THATS THE ONLY REAOSN HE DIDN'T TRY TO RUN AWAY OR SMTH promised to get him oda :3

He also tries to convince himself he's only staying to finally talk to oda again but then he's just deep in denial abt the fact he's madly Inlove

He's so silly UGH

he’s so cute i need him dead well rested and fed :)

Dazai who sits on your nightstand each night and just watches you sleep :) his eyes are locked from you to the door to make sure no one comes in (not that he can do much in his little size… like cmon man an intruder could punt you)

He’d be protective as hell!!!! Being forced to listen to every conversation and watch all of the vulnerable moments you’ve had in the comfort of your room… like if you’re the type to save crying for your pillow he’s all :( and just wants to pat your back and tell you you’ll be fine :(

If you’re the type to bring your nendoroids around with you places (the pouches gsc sells are so cute btw I want the cake one so badly) he’ll love you infinitely more!! Just getting to watch as you go about your daily life and treat him like those cats people put in those backpacks? The ones with the window for them to look out? Yes that’s him 100%

He’s just your cat you wanna show the outside world to

People who make miniature foods and cute furniture for nendoroid-scale figures… SO CUTE!!! He’d be internally jumping up and down if you made/purchased some for him

He’d love being doted on that’s so canon to me (he may not know how to accept affection but that doesn’t mean he hates it gn) so he’d be ecstatic to receive so many gifts !!!

If you’re the type or maybe you have younger siblings/cousins to play with him like some action figure oh he’s so into it. Dude’s like Shakespeare the way he’s acting out everything he’s committed

GIFTING HIM AN ODA NENDOROID TOO…..

His heart swells when you’re around (in GRATITUDE nothing else……) because ugh!!!! Out of all the little scale couches and plastic foods THIS is the gift that has him almost break character…. Like you really did this for him! And he’s gotta be aware of how expensive those stupid figures are… he’s all warm and fuzzy inside

Him and Oda take up looking after you (once again not being able to do much… it’s the thought that counts?) while catching up

He literally cannot express how much you mean to him. YOU DID ALL THIS FOR HIM!!!!!!! Sliding Oda next to him in your little pouch to carry them both outside!!! so cute

Until one day you come home with a little Chuuya to stick next to him as well.

Can he be grateful and resentful?

Ofc he’s excited to have someone else with him too he’s just annoying

pathetic stalker dazai… SEX. NOW.

hiii anon i don't really write nsfw so the exact terminology is HEAVILY danced around hope thats fine 😭

cw: poorly written pathetic dazai going crazy over the thought of you

mdni PLEASE SLASH SRS im foaming at the mouth

He was so sick, so disgusting... The thought of you coming home early, seeing his current situation and calling him a pervert and a freak just made his cheeks burn brighter, teeth clenched as he continued to inhale your scent. Normally he'd be trailing you to work at this hour, but the idea of your empty apartment was too tantalizing.

Unlocking your apartment door was easy, especially since he's done it before, and resting on the side of the bed opposite where you slept sent his mind into haywire - picturing you sleeping next to him in your thin pajama shorts and loose tank top, imagining as it rode up while you tossed and turned...

Dazai's face was now buried in your pillow, trying not to drool on the cotton casing as high pitched, pathetic whimpers escaped his lips, cold hands bringing him the sensations he'd been craving since he saw you abandon your apartment earlier this morning. He pictured your hands as they made breakfast, lips as they chugged back your caffeine of choice, all of it... even the picture of you wrestling with bed head in the early hours had him moaning softly against your sheets.

Sweat dripping down his forehead, he rolled back over to his the other side of your bed, taking a moment to steady his breathing. With a glance to the mess he just made, he sighed. Cleaning up after was never fun.

imagine mistaking beastzai as your usual dazai (you thought he wanted to be emo for a day) and like did usual silly cute things with him then dazai came home and he’s like HUH WHO IS THIS GUY R U CHEATING ON ME :(( but in the end you have… double boyfriends but one’s moody and one’s fucking annoying

anons that think alike omg telepathy … use ur powers for good!!! two asks in one btw i feel so productive

alsooo beast!dazai would be giddy like a child to be in the main tl w his love… he’d be twirling you around and enjoying what could’ve been before he has to go back!!! all dazais are cringy and in love w u it's true they told me themselves !!!!

“What’s with the outfit?” You spoke bluntly, clearly a little put off by the reappearance of the black coat and red scarf. “Dude, you look like Mori.” Harsh, sure, but your boyfriend worked so hard to walk alongside you in the light, so the last thing you wanted was to see what would’ve been, if not for — 

Dazai smiled, seemingly amused. “Ah, love, it’s merely a costume. Thought you’d get a kick out of it,” he replies easily, pulling off the long red scarf: a staple of the Port Mafia’s boss.

His words help to relax you, letting out a small sigh as you push the coat off of his shoulders. “Let me grab you your coat, I know it’s around here somewhere…” You flittered about your shared apartment, pulling a backup brown coat from its spot buried underneath your closet. “This better suits you,” you speak under your breath as Dazai pulls it on. The fit seems a little… different. Is it somehow looser than normal? You frown.

“Thank you, love,” he repeated the same pet name. It felt as though he missed saying it, which doesn’t quite make sense.

You choose not to dwell on it — maybe seeing him in black again just rewired your brain for a moment. He’s alive and well in front of you and nothing else matters. A nod is all the reply Dazai gets before you slip on your shoes.

“I thought you might have headed to work early when I didn’t see you in bed this morning, but I guess that’s my fault for assuming the impossible,” you decide to tease.

Dazai easily slips behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin against your shoulder. “Mm… I love you, you know that? Let’s skip work today. We can spend time together, ‘kay?”

He’d always been unpredictable and spontaneous, so you merely laughed in response. “I don’t have work today, remember? But you still do.”

Shaking his head, he pouts — there’s the Dazai you love. “Nope!~ I refuse to go into work today. I’m spending my whole day with my love!” He practically jumps for joy, hands moving to gently hold your waist. “Let’s bake cookies.”

There isn’t much you can do, watching with an amused grin as Dazai unties your shoes before dragging you to the kitchen.

“It does not take two hours to make cookie dough…” you sigh, trying to jostle the white flour from your hair. “We baked cookies together, like, two weeks ago! How could we already have forgotten everything…”

Dazai grins, planting kiss after kiss on your cheeks, melted butter staining your skin from when he accidentally tried to drink from the cup you’d used to soften it. “Hard to remember much when I’m with you.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” You chuckled, grabbing a towel from the counter to wipe both your face and his lips.

“Yep!~ It’s like.. my love is so pretty I can’t think when I’m around them! Oh, I could just die in… No! I don’t even want to die! I could live in your arms, grow old together and watch you get all frail and saggy,” Dazai speaks dreamily, swooning over the idea of growing old with you. How sweet.

You push him away gently and begin balling up the chocolate chip cookie dough, pressing it onto the silver pan you made Dazai buy when you first started staying over. “Saggy? No, I’ll be young and beautiful forever,” you joke, but Dazai only nods in response.

“It’s true! No one holds a candle to my love. Why, I wish I could spend every day just staring at you.” Dazai’s voice always sounded teasing when he was with you, but even as you put the last of the cookie dough onto the tray (only had enough to fill one, since Dazai kept spilling, throwing or eating the ingredients..) you could feel the genuineness in his words.

Oven preheated, you slid the sheet in to bake (making sure to start the timer) before turning to Dazai. Before you could get a word in, the front door to your shared apartment creaked open. Heart dropping to your stomach, you grabbed the closest thing to you: a whisk your boyfriend had licked clean. Said boyfriend only seemed to sigh, falling into a more somber mood, head hanging before he sent you a sad smile.

“I think the jig is up, love…”

Your name is called from the front door, the voice… suspiciously familiar. “Are you in there? You weren’t answering your phone and I got worried...” Dazai stepped into your apartment, hanging his keys by the door before turning around (an addition you made, since he tended to forget his and jumpscare you by picking the lock every few days).

The three of you stood still, no words spoken and the only sound being that of your metal whisk dropping to the floor. Spinning from one Dazai to the next, you wiped a splotch of flour from your shirt collar. You felt guilty for some reason, like you were at fault for not recognizing an imposter Dazai, and wanted to make yourself look more presentable.

“Awww, love!” The Dazai at the door pouts, throwing his coat on the floor as he quickly heads over to you. “Are you cheating on me?” He continues, slouching over you to impose as much of his weight as he can. You struggle for a moment, his bone crushing hug enveloping more than you expected.

Guilt still apparent as your tummy twisted, you shook your head. “I didn’t— “

The other Dazai, the one wearing a black tie and covered in various cookie ingredients pouted as well. “Maybe she’s cheating on me! I mean, I can’t believe my love moved in with another man…”

God, this was too confusing. You gently pushed Dazai A off of you, stepping back from the two. “I don’t— “

“I can’t believe this… I head to work early one time and now you’re making cookies for someone else!” Dazai A whined, face smooshed against the oven door’s glass in longing. “I’ll never be on time again! In fact, I think I’ll always have to be late.”

Dazai B pulled Dazai A back towards him by his collar, whispering obnoxiously, “I’ll share the cookies if you share the beautiful partner.”

Dazai A nods in approval, eyes closed and arms crossed like it was the easiest decision to make in the world. “I want half the sheet. And, I want a kiss…” He pouts towards you. Ugh, how annoying.

You deadpan towards the two, no longer feeling guilty. These two were just as much Dazai as they could get. Arms spread, you let Dazai A pull you into a hug so you can give him a proper welcome home kiss. “Both of you are obnoxious. Is that all I’m worth? Half a sheet of cookies?”

“Half a sheet of your cookies,” Dazai B grins. “That’s not something either of us would give up lightly.” The other Dazai nods in agreement.

Both of your stupid, annoying, clingy boyfriends tug on your sleeves, forcing you over to the couch so they can both receive your affections while the cookies bake.

the timer goes off after a while but they both whine about not wanting to let u get up. once you threaten letting the cookies burn they're quick to let go. i hate them both.

I think Dazai would like mess around with your makeup stuffs and pretends he’s you doing your makeup and he’s like HUH how tf do you use this??

you definitely yell at him for wasting products!!! what i know about makeup is that it is Not Cheap.

dazai stares at you like a deer in headlights, your favorite eyeshadow pigment decorating the tips of his fingers. did he have to try and swatch all of them..?

you’d gently sit on the edge of your vanity, telling dazai what each product does, how to properly apply it, and helping him to doll himself up like you do.

he’s all giggly the whole time, not immune to the excitement that comes from making yourself look pretty! but he’s mainly giggly because the one helping him is you ❤️

when it finally comes time for lipstick, you help him pick out a nice shade that works well with the rest of the colors he’s since applied, and he excitedly stops you before you can put it on!

“i know how to do this one, i know!” he’ll say animatedly, swiping the tube from your hand and uncapping it.

you watch in amusement as he lathers his lips, deciding not to mention that sometimes less is more. he looks too cute, who are you to stop him?

Legs swinging back and forth, you watch him from your position on the vanity’s surface. Your hands gripped the edge of the piece, keeping yourself stable as he finally recaps the lipstick tube and sets it on the now messy table, all of your properly organized pieces in disarray from Dazai’s attempt at playing dress-up.

Even though it was applied haphazardly, he looked very pretty with his big brown eyes and now full lips, eyes showcasing an impish glint and lips accompanied by a mischievous smirk. You knew Dazai well enough to know he was planning something, but it was hard to decipher just what.

“You’re gorgeous,” you smirk back, still amused even while silently noting his coy expression. Teasing, you add, “I can’t believe I was able to land such a pretty girl.”

Dazai’s grin doesn’t falter. “Not done! Next you’re supposed to blot, right?”

His words make you smile. “If you want to, yes.” And he definitely should, judging by how much of the tube he just used up. $30 well spent, you suppose.

A yelp escapes your lips before his are pressed to yours, arms wrapped around your neck from yanking you down towards the vanity chair he sat in. Dazai couldn’t help the small smile on his face as he held you close, eyes fluttered shut as he enjoyed the kiss.

Your hands moved from the edge of the vanity to his shoulders, not wanting to topple forward as you kissed back. Yeah, $30 well spent.

pathetic stalker dazai who sits by your side while you’re sleeping so when you accidentally kick your blanket off he’ll put it back on you :)

The flimsy desk chair creaked as Dazai shifted his weight on it, said shift causing the wheels to make noise as well. Even being able to control his heart exceptionally well, Dazai could feel it jump into his throat, scared he’d have awoken you. He pauses, frighteningly still as he stares towards your bed with wide eyes — no signs of stirring.

Your sleeping form lets out a very cute sigh, nuzzling further into the blanket. It’s thick, something expensive you had chosen to splurge on for yourself. It’s cute, knowing you used whatever cash you had to spare to buy a cozy blanket… Dazai wants to buy you one, too. Maybe even a fluffy pillow and soft stuffed plush — anything to keep you sleeping soundly.

He’d never been able to sleep well, but even just watching you in such a peaceful state rejuvenated him. One glance at the brightly lit digital clock on your nightstand told Dazai he only had another two hours with you before he’d have to go, three if he pushes it. Your alarm would go off in three, and he’d like to be out of the house by then, but… Ugh, you just look so serene.

It’s for the good of the people, right? If Dazai doesn’t get a good night’s sleep (by watching you get a good night’s sleep), then he won’t be able to focus at work! That could cause many innocent civilians to die, you know. Do you really want that to happen?

A since discarded cheaper blanket lie limply in Dazai’s lap. He likes to think that you leave it out for him, instead of just pushing it off in your sleep before he tiptoes in, since it’s always shoved uselessly onto your bedroom floor in the exact same spot: right in front of where he sets up shop. Just as he’s about to (once again) bury his face in the scent of your adrift blanket, the heavier one on top of you begins to slip. Dazai watches for a moment as your prized possession slides down your shifting legs before smiling to himself — you’ve always been such a turbulent sleeper.

But, as always, Dazai is here to gently lift the blanket over you once again, being sure to cover you properly and tuck you in. As much as he couldn’t spend his nights without you, what would you do without him?

Dazai with an s/o who’s awkward when it comes to affection. They don’t hate it but they aren’t used to it so they don’t know how to react.

oh youre just like me YOURE JUST LIKE ME!!!! i also got a superrr touch adverse reader w super clingy dazai sitting in my drafts rn collecting dust (also the amount of tries this took me is obscene)

i wrote this as like. half a drabble half hcs? hope u enjoy anon :)

Dazai who knows he has no right to be mad, it's not something you can control, so instead he starts scheming 💀

Making you stand in crowded train carts with him just to brush up against his arm (better him than the creepy old guy on the other side, right?)

Speaking of, Dazai begins to adore crowds. Strolling down a busy sidewalk, hands brushing together, bumping into one another ("Sorry! That asshole almost bumped into me..."), pulling you close to his chest when you almost run into someone else, etc. He tries and succeeds with it all!

His scheming actually helps, as you begin to prefer trailing closer and closer to him. You don't want to inconvenience anyone or bump into them! Sticking close behind to Dazai begins to have its advantages (for him, of course). In line to grab coffee? His hand is on your stiffened shoulder to gently maneuver you through the crowds of tired business people and college kids, helping you duck and weave to pick up your order from the side.

"Ooh ooh, sit next to me!"

You hesitate. Maybe you aren't bright enough to realize the whole thing is a scheme, but you've definitely noticed how clingy he's been lately. If you sit next to him during this meeting, he'll for sure try and rub elbows and bump thighs, telling you he forgot his pencil so his hand can brush against yours as he borrows one (has he ever taken notes before?) and that's exactly what happens when you agree.

It works 100% 💀 not only do you prefer being near him, you begin seeking him out! A couple shoulder brushes isn't gonna "fix" your awkwardness towards touch, you still freeze up if anyone else tries to tap you or something of the sort... but now you know what it's like. You have a better idea of how to react when Dazai touches you, and that feels so nice. Hands brushing together becomes hand holding, a simple wave goodbye becomes a quick hug, and next thing you know Dazai is pulling you onto his lap during breaks at the agency. Overwhelming you is the last thing he wants, so when you sit on his lap and rest so close to him, he tries to keep his hands to himself: no enveloping you in his arms and trying to cuddle, but occasional pats on your arm as he bends around to grab something.

He knows when someone is a little uncomfortable or awkward and the last thing he'd want is to make you feel that way! (At least... ADA!Dazai who has befriended you... imagine yan!dazai who keeps pushing your buttons just bc he likes to see you squirm... ugh i hate him) So even though he works to push your boundaries, he makes sure to take it one day at a time :)

i would like to tie the ends of his bandages into a little ribbon so he wouldn’t have to tuck it in messily anymore </3

Dazai was frustrated. He was always able to keep his cool, but it was just one of those days; It seemed that everything that could go wrong, would. And now, the ends of his bandages kept coming undone, and no amount of haphazard tucking could save him.

Concealing his frustration was easy, as it always was for him, but you noticed the accidental huff he couldn't keep in. "You alright, Dazai?"

He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?" comes his reply, complimented with his award-winning smile.

"Because of your bandages, I assume," you gently grab his forearm, pulling a hand out of his pocket.

Dazai's face fell, no longer able to contain the cumulated frustration of his horrible day. "They just— they won't just stay," he spoke as evenly as he could in the moment.

Deciding not to comment on his attempt to mask such an uneven voice, you nodded. Gently, you grab the edge of his bandages and pull them up, causing Dazai to freeze. Not wanting him uncomfortable, you move swiftly, working as quickly as you can without compromising the shape of the—

"Bow?" Dazai seemed shocked.

"It shouldn't unravel now. It might help to double knot it, though... Is this fine?" You spoke softly, cradling his bandaged wrist in your hands.

For once, he's caught speechless. A tiny nod is his response, and you hold your hand out; if Dazai wants you to tie the other, he can give you his hand — if not, then he can move away. The last thing you wanted was to force him; it's clear Dazai wasn't the most comfortable he's been when you started.

Yet, he hands it to you, gently resting the appendage between your outstretched fingers. Swooning feels like an understatement as your mind races, but you try to remain calm. You repeat the same actions, gently tying the loose strips into another cute bow to keep them from unraveling.

Double knotting the bows can come another day. For now, this is more than enough, and Dazai can’t help the soft smile on his lips. “Thanks,” he mutters.

You merely shrug in response. Anytime.

beast!dazai is our silly guy but he’s sadder :( i’d like to barge in his office while he’s working to put hairclips in his hair so he will be slightly less sad :)

The large and heavy doors leading to the boss’s office slowly creaked open. Dazai looked up with a harsh glare, about to tell off whoever just entered without knocking.

“Osamu!” You sprinted across the long office, hands clutching a small bag to your chest as your feet thudded against the long, regal carpet decorating his floor.

His glare fell, a smile taking its place as he stood up from his desk, widely spreading his arms out. “Hey— “

All of the air in his lungs is forced out as you run right into him, his arms wrapping around your frame as you both fell to the floor. Giggles emerged from your lips that brought a serene smile to the Port Mafia Boss's face, still holding you to him as you both lie on the ground.

"Okay, okay — get up! I come bearing gifts!"

Dazai chuckles at your words, arms falling lax around your frame so you can squirm out of his hold and stand up. "Gifts, hm?" He follows suit, moving to sit back on his desk chair. 

"Well, not gifts, really. I lied! ..Maybe. Sit down, though,"

"I'm already seated— "

"and get to work!" You set your bag on the corner of his desk, waiting for him to fall back into his paperwork and strategizing.

A sigh pulls from his chest, shoulders slumping as he decides to follow your orders. He'd love to focus all of his attention on you, asking about your day and why you're here so early, what you've had to eat and if anyone was mean on your way up (absolutely not, not after that one guy... what was his name? No one's heard from him since) — but Dazai knew that once you were set on something, there was little he could do to change your mind. You clearly had an agenda with your visit, something nestled into your small bag you didn't want to tell him about just yet.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long to find out.

Small, plastic butterfly clips. Three of them, in differing pastel colors, were clipped into his dark hair. He paused only for a moment before remembering your words and focusing on his work. Next were chunky pink barrettes, followed by a bunny clip resting on the side of his head. You brought out small bows of various patterns and colors, either tied into his hair or clipped in along with the rest.

A few more butterfly clips spilled out of your bag and Dazai could no longer contain the giggle he'd been trying to swallow since you started. "Is this your gift to me? Decorating my hair?"

You pinned a flower clip onto his coat with a playful grin.

"Ah, my mistake. Decorating me."

You nodded and pulled a few colorful paperclips from your bag as well, setting them on his desk. "You work so hard... I just wanted to add some color to your day," you shrug sheepishly. "I was gonna bring some of my cute pens, too, but I thought those might go unused. It's one thing to get all dolled up in private, but I thought you might not want reports written in purple ink."

Dazai knows you put a lot of thought into this, even if you're playing it off like it's no big deal. You wanted to make him happy without going too overboard — something small that wouldn't impede on his work.

His hands grabbed your waist and, in one sudden movement, he stood up and brought you into a hug. No words were shared, just a small moment of affection that would definitely help him get through the day so he could finally come home to you.

Silly elf lil shit (think of Elysia from hi3rd) and Dazai asks them to play with their ears just to get surprised from them saying sure LMFAOOAOS

Also HOW R U POOKIE :3 hope u eat and sleep well !!

THANK UUU i am doing my best 😭 but i’ve been eating and sleeping well 💪🏻 that’s half the battle

Dazai’s mischievous grin had Kunikida sighing. Oh well, at least it's not pointed towards him.

You were working silently on a report, bored out of your mind. If you weren't worried about getting fired (has anyone been fired from the ADA?), you would've pushed it off until tomorrow... or maybe the next day. A sigh passes your lips as you glance up from the computer screen, looking for a welcomed distraction.

Making eye contact with Dazai, you knew it'd be easy.

Pointed ears twitch in amusement, smirking back towards the brunet. His eyes seemed to shine at the movement, standing up to move behind you. "Hello, love," his hands rest on your shoulders, fingers grazing your ears on the way to their perch. It was obvious he had some sort of plan brewing.

"Dazai," you greet curtly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" You were keeping it formal, sure, but that's only because you knew it'd make Dazai work harder to distract you from your work — something you'd accept graciously.

"So harsh, hm? No pet names, no words of affection..." he pouts, spinning your chair around to look at him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you don't love me!"

"Maybe that's what I'm trying to achieve," you tease.

Dazai shakes his head, clicking his tongue thrice is disapproval. "The only way to do that is to deny me my next request. Of course, if you want me to think you don't love me..." he trails off, an evil smirk that has you flustered. The smirk is evil because it's so pretty — anyone would have a hard time denying it. ("Not anyone," you hear Kunikida in your head.)

"And what is that request?" Your ears twitch again in amusement, much to Dazai's delight. He doesn't expect you to say yes, but that won't stop him from asking:

"Can I play with your ears?"

It's so hard to catch Dazai off guard, but your easy "Yes," seems to do just that.

He grins so boyishly and excitedly, hands immediately pulling at the pointed tips of your ears (for which you chastise him, pouting about how that hurts) and poking the skin.

You spin around in your chair, letting him mess with them from behind as you turn back to your reports. Maybe now you’ll be able to get something done.

dazai's hand gently squeezed yours. it felt almost possessive, if you didn't know any better. you could lie, just for a moment, tell yourself he means it... but the pressure is gone as quickly as it came. the squeeze was a way to soothe you momentarily, remind you not to be anxious as he drags you along. maybe, if you didn't know any better, you could think the soothing action was for you more than him — not to pacify you, but because he worries about you. if you didn't know any better... but you do, and he does, and you're just friends.

y!dazai buying plushies and clothes for you :) but since he’s a massive douchebag he ended making you cry about it (probably didn’t feel bad either bleh)

he feels like he need to coddle you every single minute of the day or else he’ll go batshit crazy

anon i thought this said MAKING clothes for u i was about to cheer imagine dazai with his precise and nimble fingers hand sewing clothing for himself during the two years he spent underground, patching holes in his jacket and such ouughhh.. his darling gifts him a sewing machine after seeing his dodgy sewing set up utilizing a single bent needle and a lot of patience that he doesn’t normally have… ARE YOU ALL SEEING THIS TOO…… tbh tho he’d prick himself one (1) time with the needle and never pick one up again he’s such a baby or he’d swallow one

Kidnapper!Dazai who drones on and on about how hard he works to provide for the two of you, the least you can do is cuddle the plushies he got you if not him. That’s money that could have gone towards the betterment of your forcibly shared apartment, rather than some childish plushies just to keep you placated. Stop crying, that’s why he got them for you, remember?

wait hold on

He tries and be all sweet and doting, dropping the plush on top of some cozy pajamas he’d purchased for you that day. With a delusional smile he’d pull you into a hug, tugging at the hem of your pants claiming he wants a fashion show. At least the pajamas are modest — long pant legs and sleeves that at least cover your shoulders. The worst offender has a low neckline, but he’s sure you’ll appreciate that he didn’t go for anything too crazy. You’ll gently push him away, picking up the stuffed plush from the thick paper bags instead: It looks just like the one you had as a child. Dazai knows this, of course, like he knows everything else about you. He sits back with a smug grin, watching as you gently push it from one hand to the other.

The difference between this plush and the one sitting in storage at your parents’ home is the life brought into it: fur that is no longer matted from love and eyes that aren’t scuffed and scraped from kicking it off your bed at night… Wow, you missed those days. You missed your mom. A frown crosses your face as you turn towards your shared bedroom, deciding to spend sometime on your own. Before you can enact these plans, however, Dazai plucks the stuffie from your gentle grip, holding him high above your head. Your eyes widen and your face immediately drops. Hadn’t he already taken so much from you? Tears begin falling before you can even register it, too caught up in the sudden fear that you’d lose another part of yourself. Your parents, your friends, your life before this: it was all imprinted onto that stupid stuffed toy Dazai had gotten as an afterthought.

Yet, he continued to dangle it over your head. “You’ll get this little fella back when you answer me. Don’t you wanna make me as happy as I’ve made you?”

Happy? You couldn’t help but feel sick. With how long you’ve been in Dazai’s home, you knew expressing that wouldn’t get you the plushie back. The sleeve of your current outfit helps to wipe the tears off of your cheeks. “Fa-fashion show, right? Okay, okay,” you mutter while dropping to your knees, digging through the bag of clothing for the first set.

This is not your prompt but Dazai who bought a cam stuffie. Unbeknownst to you, the eye of the cute little teddy your dear friend gifted you fed video straight to his laptop at all hours of the day. He spends his nights watching you sleep peacefully; the rise and fall of your chest soothing him and giving him something to focus on other than the negative thoughts on his mind. Something about the way you’d pat the little bear on the head every morning had him swooning, as though you were doing the action to him. Weirdly enough, you always seemed to turn the little teddy away before changing… Oh well — Dazai would have plenty of time to see everything he wants to once you’re finally together: something he envisions happening soon.

this is not proofread bc i have soo much due rn... classes are kicking my ass!!! hope you like it anon :)

hiii! how about ~any bsd characters of your choice~ when they make you cry for the first time during an argument? (maybe they say something mean, weaponize your insecurities, tell you to shut up (yeah, i'm sensitive to this heh), won't listen to you, etc)

yayyy any of my choice!!! that means my faves dazai and nikolai <3 love u anon

cw: intimacy ? "fuck" is used multiple times, u call urself an escort

A soft breath left your lips as you stared at your ceiling. Without even looking at the clock, you were sure it read some time past 12. You had quite a late night, even just the thought causing you to feel tired again. Closing your eyes tightly, you buried your face into your pillow, turning over in bed to do so.

The movement is followed by a deep chuckle from beside you, causing your eyes to snap open in surprise for a moment. There he is: the man who kept you up.

"Oh, you're still here." You spoke before thinking, the words coming out of your mouth as merely an observation.

"Ouch," he smirked, his hand reaching out to gently brush some hair from your face. "Good morning. Or should I say good afternoon, hm?"

"Um, sure. Thanks for last night, I suppose." Is that what he's waiting on? Acknowledgment? You pull the covers further up, making to sure cover as much of your torso as you can.

Your ex boyfriend only smirked, fingers trailing down your body just above the thick blankets. He propped his head up on one hand, elbow sinking slightly into your mattress. The way the afternoon sun danced between his brown curls made you think of last night, and how nice it felt to grip his soft hair once again. The thought makes you sigh, turning away from him to gaze at the ceiling once more.

"Hey, so, um, I gotta get ready. I have plans later..." you trail off, hoping he'll take the hint. Your ex has always been smart, especially socially - he'll understand.

And he does, for the most part, but he doesn't care. "Kicking me out already? The day just started. I thought you'd at least offer me a bowl of cereal before sending me away." His tone is teasing, the same smug smirk sitting prettily on his lips. "What are your plans, then? Anything I can tag along for?"

The incredulous look on your face gives away your confusion. "What..? No. Hey, thanks again for last night, but this is where we part. You got what you wanted, didn't you?"

He pouts at your words before sitting up. "Yeah, fine. I got what I wanted. Didn't realize this was just a fuck for you."

"Are you saying for you this was more?" You asked genuinely.

"No, I just thought it might have been more for you," he replies dismissively. Standing up, he begins pulling on his pants. "Have fun on your date, then."

You nod, unaware of his trap as you reply genuinely. "Thanks, I'll try."

He pauses, one leg in his pant leg and the other hovering just above it. "So you are prepping for a date."

Looking at him curiously, you nod. "Mhm, yeah. I was chatting with someone on Tinder. Figured I shouldn't go running to my ex whenever I need a good fuck."

He scoffs. "You think you can get a good fuck anywhere else?"

"That's what I'm tryna find out. Put on your pants, please."

"I guess it's my fault then, hm?" His eyes narrowed at you, giving nothing away as he remained frustrated and angry.

"...Fault for what?" You were confused, unaware as to what he was hinting at.

Your ex grits his teeth, feeling annoyed at your obliviousness. "For thinking we might actually get back together."

His words left you stunned for a moment, watching in silence he pulled his pants on the rest of the way. With a rather solemn expression, he shook his head in defeat and put his shirt on quickly. "There's my answer, then," he murmured, more to himself than you as he turned to leave.

Anger coursed through your body. How dare he play the hurt victim now? "Hey, fuck you!" You shouted without thinking. What a colossal asshole! "The night I broke up with you, you told me you never even liked me in the first place! And now what, you suddenly wanna 'rekindle what we had?' What did we have, Dazai? Please, enlighten me, because I find myself remembering that our whole relationship was just you talking down to me and treating me like some second-rate escort! I'm sorry for wanting more," you unloaded. Every thought that had been bouncing around in your head moved out of the way as you admitted what had been eating at you during the year of your relationship together. "It was our one year anniversary, you know, when I finally called it quits. Did you even remember?"

He didn't; of course not. You could just tell by his continued silence and the way he glanced away.

Tears brimmed your eyes. The only thing worse than his condescending remarks was the silence. You couldn't stand his quiet behavior, even when you were together - it screamed pity, and that's the last thing you wanted from someone who always knew what to say. "Get the fuck out of my house." You flopped back against your bed, burying your face into a soft pillow for the second time since waking up less than 10 minutes ago.

The sound of his feet pattering away is unheard by you, barely able to hear anything over the ringing in your head. As silently as you can, you sob into your pillow, feeling hurt and used by your stupid ex boyfriend.

Nikolai, in his crusade for emotional freedom, sometimes found himself treating you in a way that was less than ideal. He liked starting arguments with you, “proving” he didn’t love you as much as he clearly did and definitely wasn’t willing to do anything you asked. It was always over small things, like who made dinner (he’d get mad if you made it since he wanted to treat you or get mad that he’d have to make it since he always does) or how you hogged the blankets at night. Because of this, you usually overlooked it — you understand that it’s his way of proving his freedom and it never devolved into anything more.

Until today, that is. You could hardly remember what the argument was originally about, but he just kept pushing…

“Nikolai, I don’t even know what I did wrong.” Tears were starting to gather in your eyes, making them puffy and glazed over. The more he raised his voice, the more you shrunk in on yourself.

“That’s the problem! How could you not know?!” He took a step closer, towering over you with his large frame.

It was almost hard to breathe, panic coursing through your veins as you suddenly pushed him away with every ounce of strength you had. Silence coursed between the two of you, air tense and uncomfortable. Your tears finally spill once you notice how your hands are shaking. Fine, if he wanted to be free, then far be it from you to stop him.

Wiping your cheeks, you weakly reply, “Get out of my apartment.”

The white haired man paused, waiting to see if you meant it. You didn’t, not really, but it’s embarrassing to admit that when you gaze at your fearfully shaking hands. This isn’t how a boyfriend should treat his partner.

“Please, Nikolai…” You’d fold, you always did, so you resorted to begging while you still had the courage.

That courage wavers fully as his hands rested on your hips, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “It’s my fault, baby,” he whispers. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll get you flowers, and we can order your favorite takeout and have a picnic in the living room while watching your favorite movie…” His thumbs brushed the fresh tears away before both hands grabbed yours. “The last thing I want is for my dove to be scared of me, I swear. I love you more than anything, you’re all I want,” he presses soft kisses against your knuckles, “please, just let me stay...”

You fold.

thank you for this bc i have been ITCHING to write for nikolai my wife my girlfriend my lover (I HAVENT WRITTEN FOR HIM B4 SORRY)

thinking about extremely whipped and easily jealous pm dazai with a big crush on reader who keeps talking to chuuya. he assumes this means they have something that he and reader doesn’t have and gets sad about it. he goes to the bar just to vent about it to chuuya who spits his wine everywhere and tells him how stupid be is because y/n likes HIM more than any other person

extremely whipped dazai… anon you’re speaking my language

Dazai had been drinking more than usual, Chuuya had quickly noticed. While the two were quick to claim that they aren’t friends, it was common to see them sitting next to each other after a particularly long day sharing a bottle of wine and venting. Today was no different, the men relaxing in the ginger’s office on his expensive leather chairs, crowding around his desk. The bandaged man poured himself another heavy glass of the bottle Chuuya had been saving for a while, causing him to grumble under his breath.

“I dunno why you’re so angry…”

The short man scoffed at that, deciding to top off his glass as well while he spoke. “You purposely picked the bottle I was savin’,” reddened cheeks give away his slipping sobriety, “Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“Wasn’t tryna hide it,” Dazai had let out a scoff of his own, chin resting on the hard wood of Chuuya’s work desk. He glared down at the many signed documents, huffing angrily at the signatures of his rival. “You owe me this, at least.”

Chuuya’s eyebrows furrowed pensively. Owed Dazai for what? “I don’t remember makin’ a bet with ya…”

“Not a bet,” Dazai let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen, you owe me.”

“And I’m askin’ for what!” Chuuya’s hat slipped off of his head as he stood up suddenly, the wine in his glass sloshing as he glared down at the usually-taller brunet.

Dazai chugged the rest of his glass. He’d never been a wine-guy, much preferring a nice scotch to Chuuya’s choice of alcohol, so he stuck out his tongue in distaste after the liquid passed his throat. The sight of Dazai’s disgust made Chuuya grit his teeth. If he doesn’t like it, then he should drink something else!

The two were completely plastered. With Chuuya being a lightweight and Dazai finishing off a few bottles on his own, it was destined to happen at some point. Because of their inebriated states, the shorter of the two misheard what Dazai had poorly slurred out after downing his drink. “One more time?” He asked, still unsure what made Dazai so angry with him.

Dazai’s cheeks flushed pink, and not just from the alcohol. How dare this slug make him repeat himself? “You heard me!”

“Did you say— “

“Yes!”

Chuuya’s mouth opened to an understanding o-shape: so he had said your name. “Okay, but, why do I owe you my expensive wines?”

Dazai grabbed the neck of the wine bottle before standing up himself, towering over the ginger. “Whatever! I don’t even wanna be here!”

“I’m not kicking you out, you moron! Just don’t know why you’re actin’ like this!” His hand reached out to grab Dazai’s shoulder, stopping him from leaving.

“You’re pulling them away from me,” he turned to Chuuya with a pout. “You two are always together acting all buddy-buddy. What do you have that I don’t? Why don’t they like me?”

Glass shattered on Chuuya’s nicely wooden office floor, swearing to himself as the wine within the glass splashed up on his shoes and the legs of his nice desk chair. He was too drunk to be embarrassed over dropping his drink, still shocked someone so smart could be so stupid. “D-Dazai, you’re a moron!” He sputters out, jumping away quickly to grab a broom.

“Yeah,” Dazai sits back on his seat with a sad and defeated smile. “I guess I am a moron.” He takes a big swig from the expensive bottle, finishing off the last few drops. The bandaged man’s eyes closed, letting the now empty bottle fall from his hand and onto his lap.

He barely notices Chuuya kneel back down by the desk, gently using a towel to suck up all the wine in between the broken glass pieces. Just as he begins to brush the shards to the side (he’d clean up properly tomorrow), he looked over to see Dazai’s somber look.

“I know what you’re thinkin’,” Chuuya sighs. “I’m not sayin’ you’re a moron for thinking you have a chance with them. You’re a moron for thinking I do.”

Dazai rolls his eyes. The last thing he wanted was Chuuya’s pity. “Hey,” he grabbed the empty bottle again, shaking it in front of the ginger’s face. “We’re outta wine.”

“We?” He scoffed in reply before continuing. “I’m bein’ serious, Dazai. They’re pretty much in love with you. We talk a lot because they’re nervous you’re gonna figure out their secret. Always tellin’ me about how perceptive and smart you are… Makes me sick, honestly.”

No one knows Dazai as well as Chuuya, and same with the inverse. Dazai knew Chuuya wouldn’t lie about something like this to him, especially after recognizing that he was being vulnerable for a tiny moment. Realiing this, Dazai’s heart fluttered. He turned to look at his rival with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, not saying a word as he silently pleaded for Chuuya to be telling the truth.

“Stop lookin’ at me like that, mackerel. They like you. Dunno why, but it’s true.”

Fumbling with his discarded coat, Dazai stands up abruptly. The wine bottle tumbles towards the floor, causing to Chuuya to panic and quickly catch it. “I need to see them!”

“Sit down, asshole!” He gently puts the empty bottle on his desk, letting out a huff of annoyance. “You’re shitfaced, y’know. Sober up. Talk to ‘em tomorrow.”

Dazai’s heart was beating out of his chest. How could he wait until tomorrow to talk with you? All he wanted in that moment was to hold you close - feel the warmth of your skin, bury his face into the crook of your neck, tell you how much you mean to him and how much you are his…

“Hey, drink some water, ‘kay? Whatever you’re thinking, remember they’re probably asleep right now.”

He groaned in annoyance. What does chibi know, anyway? Chin resting against the wooden desk once more, Dazai’s eyes shut in defeat. “Okay…

“...do they really like me?” He opened one eye for a moment, gazing over once again to see if Chuuya was being honest.

“More than they’ve ever liked anyone, apparently.”

A big grin pulled at his lips once Chuuya spoke, smile barely contained as his non-bandaged eye shut again.

ddeeeEEER 😭 you have me clutching my chest dying from ur fluff good LORD

i'll be the first to ask for the rest of what you wrote post that shit NOW this is a threat/j

ouggggh ur dazai makes me want to squash him and blend him up and smash him into bits

butt anywho happy thanksgiving!!

-🩵

uefiuhseufh THANK YOU 🩵ANON!!!! i wrote these literally seconds after "pt1" but didn't wanna clog ppls feeds w thousands of kissing hcs um oops

PT1

(not necessary to read, just more silly ideas)

15!Dazai who, whether it's you who leans in first or him, gets so overwhelmed. The rush of emotions and warmth he's never been shown causes him to panic, which makes him push you away! (Quite harshly at that..) He doesn't mean to but omg Dazai is just SO not used to affection and comfort that the warm fluttery feeling in his chest makes him sick to his stomach. Processing these feelings makes him feel flustered and sheepish and AHH!!!!! It's too much!!! He'd avoid you so horribly after he's so stupid, ducking into other hallways or using his hands to physically cover his face (very obvious to poor you!!) all so he didn't have to acknowledge the fact that you made him feel different. It'd probably take Chuuya yelling at him for his stupidity for him to realize he really really likes you! And that feeling is actually good!!!

PM!Dazai who's cocky and knows exactly what he wants; He's the demon prodigy for a reason. This Dazai is an asshole who kisses you without warning - no "I'm interested in you" or slow lean in or anything - just cuts you off with a long kiss that takes your breath away before he moves back. He'll tease you for being "so in love with him, as many are," before waving his hand dismissively and leaving. Dazai is a total jerk so when you ask if this means he likes you, he denies it: just saying that he knew you liked him and thought he'd be generous and give you your first and last kiss with him. Dazai flaunts a pretty smile and leans suspiciously close as he says this before immediately leaving under the guise of some meeting he's definitely lying about. He'd start doing things to draw your attention to his lips after this just to mess with you - putting on chapstick and the like. PM!Dazai would love to see you get frustrated and annoyed with his antics but not do anything, knowing it'd only make it worse. grrr biting scratching clawing i need him gone

ADA!Dazai who's anxious. He's so totally in love with you and is overwhelmed by it all! His eyes sting and his throat turns dry, a sign that he feels like crying, but he just stands there at the sight of you. You 'd be the one to initiate it first, an anxious look on your face as you pull back to a ghostly white Dazai standing frigid. The thought of oh fuck, did I overstep? leads to you apologize profusely. Once he finally gets his breath back (you feeling downright horrible with every moment he's silent), Dazai practically hangs off of you, pathetically gripping onto your arm with both of his and holding you close. You ask if this means he likes you back but he still can't speak, just burying his head into the crook of your neck. Give him time, he's still working through everything!!!! It's been a long time since he has actually liked someone, especially so deeply, so it's hard for him to come to terms with it :( He just wants to be near you but he can't find the words to express that just yet. Being vulnerable is so scary!

Beast!Dazai who gets horrifically drunk. How else could he manage all of the things he has to go through? Just knowing he could never confide in Oda like he once has leads him to throwing back drink after drink... Until he ends up on your doorstep. He'd wanted to keep you at arms length, to stop you from following him down the dark road he was paving, but with a few too many drinks in him he found he didn't care. You let him in right away, more than happy to pour him a glass of water and let him crash on your couch for the night. Before you could even turn towards your kitchen, he pulled you in for a passionate kiss, full of love and need and every feeling he has felt for you across lifetimes. The kiss would last a minute or so before Dazai would pull away, hugging you tightly and making you promise him that you'd never leave him, even if he makes horrible decisions and drives everyone else away — you are his, remember? In every life.

first time kissing with the sillies… ada!dazai is defo more experienced and pleasant, but kissing pmzai would be so awkward, giggly and full of teeth

shidjeicbwichwkcbsjbcjebdjehcjcbe biting scratching chewing going crazy jumping up and down

PT2 (kinda)

15!Dazai would be so inexperienced and childish fhuisehfu hold on lemme do smth .

“Haah!~” Dazai leaned back as he let out a huge breath of air, face bright red with a big grin on his face. His reaction made you flustered, not expecting such a dramatic response to a little kiss (even from Dazai).

It had been very heat of the moment: a sudden and quick press of your lips on his (could it even be described as a kiss?) to celebrate the two of you becoming official partners - dating. Two seasoned mafiosos were acting like giddy children just from holding hands for the first time and telling each other how they felt.

And now, Dazai had his face buried in his hands, working hard to try and steady his heart rate. “You— th-that— ” It was rare to see Dazai so speechless, causing your own face to heat up as you stepped back.

“Sorry sorry sorry!” It was reflexive the way you apologized, one hand over your mouth and the other gripping your shirt just above your heart.

“Don’t you dare apologize!” He finally looked back up at you from his hands, huge grin still plastered on his lips as he grabbed you by your hands. “D-do it again!”

LET 15!DAZAI BE A KID 🗣️🗣️🗣️ he’d be so silly and EXPECTANT that greedy jerk.. The second you give him one (1) small kiss, he’s all over you begging for more. But god forbid you ask for a kiss, then he’s teasing you about how you want him so badly and you’re sooo pathetic and whipped for him— he’s the worst!!!! And he will not work on it!

PM!Dazai would be, like anon said, still a little awkward, but definitely more put together. He’d be anxious to initiate, looking anywhere other than you as he tried to figure out the best way to go about it. Probably some experience with kissing would be under his belt by this point, so it wouldn’t be just a peck on the lips: He’d be a bit more committed, but still pull away after only a few moments just to see how you’d react.

When you showed signs of reciprocation and wanting more, Dazai would just pull you back in once again, smiling and giggling as he refused to let your lips leave his this time. His eyes would be screwed shut so tightly, hands resting awkwardly on your biceps and squeezing gently… He just doesn’t want to let go!!! Once you basically pry him off with a crowbar, he’s flushed and heady, turning away from you and letting out a groan. He’s embarrassed a little bit by his actions, but turns back around once again so he can tease you (common across all Dazais). It’s his way of trying to get you to say you enjoyed it :( so tell him he is a very good kisser and you like him very much so he can grin proudly and tell everyone that his partner says he’s an amazing kisser!!! (Even if you technically didn't!!)

ADA!Dazai would be smug but needy, pulling you in for kiss after kiss. You’d part away after the first one, ready to hear some teasing remark or cocky retort, only to find his lips back on yours once again. One hand would move to hold your waist gently, the second holding you in place cupping your cheek as he’d press more and more upon your lips. The soft feeling of your lips on his causes his whole body to tingle, barely aware of how many times he’s pulled you back in as you let out a small chuckle. He does not care, just repeating the process over and over and over—

“Dazai!” You’d yelp, lightly chastising him. It's punctuated with a giddy giggle that Dazai loves the sound of.

He’d gaze at you adoringly, eyes half lidded and smiling with his cheeks pink. With a teasing tone, he'd reply, “You sayin' you want me to stop?”

And he’d be kissing you again before you could reply. All Dazais are the type to chase your lips after a kiss, but ADA!Dazai in particular is terrible about it. There is never just one kiss with him, even if he promises that’s all in between whines! Do not give in!!!!! You’ll be stuck all day :(

“There are worse places to be trapped, right?”

Beast!Dazai… ougghhh. His first kiss with you would be so somber, like he knows what he’s condemning you to by allowing the both of you to remain in close proximity. It’s slow and almost cold, the way he gently presses his hands into your sides and lets out a heavy breath against your lips, eyes shut tiredly. It’s solemn, but also peaceful - the only time Dazai can just sit with everything he has to do. He’d pull away slowly, a sad smile on his face as he sees your flustered look and wide eyes…

Your last kiss with him is almost worse. It’s needy: hands moving everywhere they can and eyes shut so tightly as he prays to be anywhere else, be anyone else while pouring every emotion that fills him to the brim right onto your lips. He’d mutter an apology right before and so many words of gratitude right after. You cup his face gently, asking him what was wrong, but Dazai would just pull away, leaving you all alone.

someone ask me to do this again bc i've already written more ideas

The cool, marble countertops send a shiver up your spine, but you don't seem to care. Instead of complaints, a giggle leaves your mouth, hands tightening around Dazai's shoulders. Feeling him scoop you up and set you onto the kitchen counter so easily made you swoon, which only deepened the make out session you two were currently engaged in. His hands kept moving from your hips to your ass, wanting to feel your body under his fingers as he held you close.

You both couldn't help giggling, feeling giddy at the touches and kisses being shared during such early hours. Pajama shorts riding up your thighs, a stretched-out and loose t-shirt showing off Dazai's bare neck and collar bones... it was all so intimate. There was no one around, just the two of you and the early morning sun dancing across the room as your legs moved up to cage Dazai in. More giggles erupted from him before pulling back, cutely flushed cheeks on display for just you to see. No words were shared, just heavy breaths and loving stares as your brains worked on properly waking up.

“Y’know, maybe I should skip work today.”

“You said the same thing yesterday, Osamu.”

hello deery, back like i promised lmao

as much as i love silly goofy buddy dazai, deluded possessive and lowkey scary dazai is my fav 🙏 he's such a silly guy with reader, then turns right around and destroys their entire life. then hes like :O omg thats so horrible, so what im hearing is you have more time to spend with me? seeing as all your friends left for reasons unknown, your family wont even look at you. but dw, i'll never leave :)

BWHAHA im not good at this stuff, but your characterization of dazai is my fav in general, such versatility, we love to see it

have a great day :D

-🩵 anon

HES MY least FAVE TOO ugh 🩵anon you get me

“I’m sorry, lovely. That’s so horrible…” Dazai’s knuckles softly rub against your jaw, his skin soothing you as you try to halt your tears.

“It just— ” you hiccup, “ —just feels like everyone’s leaving me!”

The brunet pulls you closer, practically sitting in his lap as his hands move around your torso. “Shh, shh…” He gently wipes away your remaining tears, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

You let out an embarrassed chuckle before nodding. “You’re the only one. Not even my boss wanted me around, I can tell. It’s like she was waiting for me to mess up so she could fire me.”

“That’s not true…”

“How would you know?” The words were genuine, like you were looking for him to explain that it was the work of fate or your shitty coworker you always complained about.

Well, it's because Dazai was the one to get you fired. Your boss was too fond of you, something he simply couldn't have. Plus, work hours always took up your time, time that should be spent with him. Honestly, you didn't need a job, anyway: Dazai would be happy to provide for you and make you dependent on him.

Instead of explaining any of this, he pressed another kiss to your head before pulling you in for a tight hug. “You’re a hard worker. And you’re a wonderful person. If none of your friends want to be in your life, well, I do. So I guess you’ll just have to spend time with me.”

It’s his attempt at lightening the mood, you’re sure of it. A chuckle passes your lips before you can stop it, shifting in his hold so you can hug him back just as tightly. “You’re all I have, so now you’re stuck with me.”

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

oh he’s the worst i need him

he’ll cradle you so sweetly, telling you alllll the good things about yourself!!!

n when you get all confident and hey! maybe you are good enough, maybe you should look into making new friends! ones that won’t leave you so easily 🙄

well,

he’s there to remind you just how heartbroken your last ones left you. your very own flesh and blood cut you out so easily! maybe dazai is the only one who can truly love you for who you are.

he’s not saying it to be mean! he just wants you to know what you’re getting yourself into. he’s always been so smart, too…. well, you guess he’s right.

if you’re a bit more stubborn or masochistic, maybe you don’t gaf!!! put you back in the ring you wanna try again!!!!!

ugh. okay. i mean, dazai did so much for you... y’know, when you lost your job and he insisted let you move in with him, dazai was trying to be a good friend, but... whatever, if you don’t need him anymore than you can just get your own place. oh, you still haven’t found a job? well, since you’re so sure of yourself, you can just get a new one. you can be out by tomorrow, right? you know dazai would’ve liked to go out and make friends during the time he’s been working to keep a roof above the both of your heads and keeping you company after everyone left you. maybe he’s starting to see why they did, since you’re so selfish— 

...

you decided not to go out!

that’s probably when he realizes he should begin moving your relationship along a bit quicker. he’ll flirt with you in the exact way he knows you respond to best (whether that's words of affirmation, teasing, physical touch, etc); he'll bring you back pastries and cute trinkets he saw on his way home from work… his courting is a little eerie, bc he also acts like you two are already dating???? "you're staying in my home, of course i assumed we'd be having dinner tonight. i even learned to cook your favorite— " like he 100% just assumes shit but it always works out bc . well, what else were you doing?

this includes sharing a bed btw. he probably started w having you take his and he takes the couch (a true gentleman) and then maybe he gets another bed and makes a guest room for you... but, well, since you both are so close and it's so cold in his apartment, maybe you can just spend one night with him? It Was Not One Night

if you catch on and reciprocate, oh he's over the moon!!!! his love giving him affection? oughhh.. you're staying in his room in his arms and he's just breathing you in, reminding himself you're still there... it'd be actually kinda sweet if he didn't orchestrate this whole thing

if you catch on (or don't lmao) and deny him? .............

desperate times desperate measures or whatever they say

he locks you in his room for mandatory cuddles, will not give you food if you stick to one side of the room and refuse to let him hold you, he starts pulling away and spewing words he knows will hurt you so you feel so alone and unloved only to turn around and love bomb you.... it's horrific tbh

i'm so sorry . just... go along w it for now pls ❤️

also i mentioned that he'd bring up how you don't have a job and he's the one working hard to pay for your expenses but he's just being a brat. he caught you looking at help wanted ads one time and pretty much cried in your lap about how upset he is that you don't feel his care is adequate enough and only stopped when you promised not to get another job

he's gross :( get out of there

Matching bolo ties with Dazai!! Other couples have matching bracelets or keychains but why not matching mental illnesses 😎

doing this in hcs hope that's fine!!! love u anon

“oh whoa! look at these matching couples bracelets for sale, darling! aren’t they so cute?” “look! that couple has matching necklaces, how sweet!” “oh, i don’t want these matching keychains, just pointing them out to you because it’s cute!”

…

he gifted you yours!

but not in person bc that’s so scary omg

he left it on your kitchen counter one morning before leaving for work

dazai was so excited to see you wearing it the next time you were together!!!

seeing the blue gem wrapped around your neck as you greeted him warmed his heart ❤️

he plays it off like a joke, saying that he thought it’d be funny to match like other couples do bracelets or keychains. he says you don’t have to wear it but please don’t take him seriously!!!

if you take it off dazai will be DEVASTATED. he hides it really well bc he’s him but ouuugh he reads it as you not loving him :( or being embarrassed of him!!! omg you took it off because you actually plan to leave him like everyone else ??? you don’t want people to associate you with him ????? omg

even though it would destroy him, every time he sees you with it on he tells you that you don’t have to and probably teases you for being so whipped for him (even though it’s 100% the other way around)

he takes total pride in matching with you!!!! when kunikida points it out he’s all “oh so you’re jealous? sorry you don’t have a lovely partner to match with!”

atsushi compliments the matching set and he BEAMS!!!! smiles so brightly for the rest of the day and even into the next!

he uses it to tug you closer to him to kiss you!! he knows it gets your heart racing both from the fear and suddenness of it but also bc awww his lips on yours n he smells like comfort and— oh now he’s gone. hm

he’s so commitment issues to me so it’s kinda his way of staking claim over you :)) his hand brushes over it when you talk with someone else he doesn’t trust or he’ll reach over and “polish” it with his bandages or sleeves or his SPIT if that person Will Not Back Off.

i can imagine him starting to keep those soft glasses cleaning fabric squares in his pockets just for the above scenario 😭

he just loves that you match him! starts pointing out matching things other couples have - not to try and drop hints like last time but to mutter that ours is better while all pouty :( now he thinks he Owns “matching accessories w your s/o” someone come get this man shaking my head….

all in all i think he’d be very cute about it! it’s not something he explicitly states or asks for but it makes him very happy :)

imagine one day his breaks on a mission and he’s so distraught and uncomfortable and anxious all day :( he comes home to you after by breaking into your apartment almost holding back tears as he explains what happens :(

you have to hold him close and say it’s okay, you aren’t mad, he’ll be fine…

try offering yours for him to wear while it gets fixed! (he’s a little suspicious… why are you so eager to not wear yours?……) but dazai says you can wrap your wrist in his bandages like a makeshift bracelet just for the time being!! so he still has that claim on you while his gets fixed

but now. how would you look wrapped all up in his bandages? oh you’re so cute!! so his ❤️

maybe you can wear his shirt to match! ooh ooh how about the coat as well! you look like a mini him when you’ve got the white pants on, too!

it’s a slippery slope anon. stay safe out there.

he just wants everyone to know you’re his at first glance! is that too much to ask?

i like to think dazai would be like the textbook definition of cheesy in a relationship. ik it’s a popular hc people have for him to be noncommittal and not a good partner but i honestly think he wouldn’t be as bad at being a partner as some people think (but i do respect the hc’s and the angst is always well written) i just personally think he’s super whipped for his s/o and obsessed to the point everyone else is who now??

HEUIHFSH SAME pathetically smitten dazai is my FAVORITEEE uurrggg .... he’s so pathetic loser........ this is why i love dazai he’s so versatile :) i need him pathetic crying over me and i need him unable to say he loves me at all oooouh ..,

His feet nudged yours under the desks once again. You looked up at him with a curious glance, waiting to see why he needed your attention, but no such answer came. Dazai merely continued to gaze at you, lovesick written all over his face as it started turning red. They're looking at me! ran through his head, almost forgetting that he had nudged you in the first place.

"What are you doing, you moron?" Kunikida spoke angrily, annoyed Dazai was blowing off his work once more.

"Staring at my partner. They're so pretty, don't you think?" His words made you smile, which caused him to melt all over again. "See? See!? Ahh, love... Your smile could light up the whole city of Yokohama. If you weren't already mine, I'd tell you to use your powers for good. But I couldn't live with myself if you had to go away!"

Kunikida's face contorted in confusion. "Go away..? What are you blabbering on about this time?"

"Once the government learns my darling's smile can rejuvenate and revitalize people they'll put them to work!" He pouts. "I'll never get to see them again when they're out saving lives!" He throws his head back dramatically, hand draping over his heart.

While your blond coworker groaned in annoyance—mainly at himself for asking—you merely chuckled. "That's alright. I wouldn't want to be away from you for long, either."

Dazai gasped, standing up suddenly. "You mean it?! Ohhh, how you just warmed my heart!~ My lovely partner wants to stay by my side! Kunikida, trade desks with me!"

"What, no! Why?!"

"I need to sit next to my beloved! If we're apart, I can't get any work done!"

"You can't get any work done, anyway!"

yk sometimes pm!dazai or ada!dazai takes off his trench coat and he only has his button up and waistcoat on? (its giving slay ngl) so maybe if he had a partner he’d occasionally lend his darling his coat because it’s cute and vv silly…

his coat pocket would have the weirdest things too: a crumpled page of the suicide book, a piece of bandaged that has yellowed due to oxidization, dog food etc

in my head im like how Dare he tarnish his beloved suicide book but that mf probably has 12 more copies at home lmao

I feel like instead of dog food he'd keep cat food for the street kitties that wander up to him :( he'd give them little pets and laugh so softly and sincerely as their heads bury into his coat pockets!!! He's all "You must've smelled the treats, hm? It's a good thing I keep them on hand for smart kitties like you," as he gently pushes them away so he can dig his hand in there to feed them rrgggg

PM!Dazai was shocked to see you shivering beside him. He was usually the one to get cold before you, and yet he found himself practically overheating in his black coat as he pulled it off his shoulders - at least that’s what he told you. Practically turning blue, you weren’t in any position to decline as he plopped it on your shoulders.

You immediately stuffed your hands in the pockets, trying to warm up your frozen fingers so they could move again. After a moment, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you turned slowly to look at the brunet.

“Dazai…”

“Yes, love?” He sends you a large grin, a teasing lilt in his tone.

You deadpanned, clearly unamused. “Your cold ass hand is not helping.”

His fingers intertwined with yours, his grin only growing as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll take my coat back if you’re gonna be ungrateful,” he stuck his tongue out.

You smirked before pulling Dazai in close, wrapping the coat around him as well by wrapping your arms around him. “I’d never be ungrateful to my lovely Dazai! C’mon, I’ll keep you warm, too.”

“But I’m not cold— “

“I felt your freezing hand, Dazai; You aren’t fooling me.”

ADA!Dazai doesn’t need a reason to give you his coat. You look cute, and he wants to help you look cuter. Reason enough, right?

The two of you were lounging around working at the agency, with you focused on the report Kunikida had politely asked you to take care of. Dazai had been on the opposite side of the room at his own desk, coat draped behind him on his chair as he stared at you. His face was resting in the palms of his hand, leaning forward on his desk to get a better look at you.

Wow…

The way the setting sun came in from the window to light up your face had Dazai perfectly silent, mesmerized by you and your beauty. A loud sneeze came from you, whole face scrunching up as your elbow covered your nose briefly. Your sincere apology before immediately going back to your work had Dazai holding back coos, just wanting to hold you close and dote on you in the moment. He stood up, heading over to your side of the room and standing behind you. His coat was draped over his arm, the fabric rubbing against you he leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.

“You must be getting a cold, hm?” He draped his beige trench coat over your shoulders, pulling your arms away from the report and stuffing them through the sleeves.

The action had you laughing, caught off guard as he pretty much dressed you in his coat. “You alright, Dazai?”

“Mhm, just wanted to keep you warm as your thoughtful boyfriend.” He leaned his body onto you, arms draped around your shoulders and chin digging into your head.

“Wow, you’re so sweet,” you replied sarcastically. Of course you knew he just wanted to see you wearing his oversized coat. “What would I do without you?”

Your hands slipped into the big pockets, letting out a soft chuckle as you pulled out crumpled up papers. “Do you keep these on hand?” You ask teasingly, reading the many ways to die as you flattened out the pages. In the margins were notes he must’ve scribbled down, many of which are just your name with little hearts scratched around them.

Dazai quickly snatched the pages from you, shoving them in the pockets of his white pants instead. “That’s nothing you need to worry about, love.”

just thought of the most rom-com scenario ever. reader is the new hire for the ADA and immediately off the bat, dazai is dazai. reader just takes it as the typical sense of humor and just laughs it off, thinking he’s not actually interested considering his many various ventures. eventually the two of them are assigned to missions quite often (with atsushi as a third wheel) and the two get along great in terms of humor, personality, work in the field… it boggles atsushi’s mind that the two of them aren’t at least going on ONE date. one night dazai tells him in a drunken stupor over the phone he has feelings for y/n but doesn’t want to ruin what they have. y/n ends up telling atsushi they don’t know what to do if they keep getting missions with dazai because one of these days they may slip up due to him just BEING there. he ends up confiding in both yosano and kunikida about it when the two are out of the office and they both just go “y/n and HIM??? anyone deserves better than THAT” but yosano means it in a more teasing way and kunikida means it in a serious way because. kunikida. thus begins a quest for atsushi; to bring the two together, and it drives him NUTS because the two both don’t think the other likes them. dazai assumes y/n would rather have interest in any other guy and y/n assumes dazai would rather have interest in any other person. this ends up with many funny scenarios such as:

1. atsushi leaving a note on dazai’s desk that reads “i want to talk to you in the hallway at __ time today.” and leaving an identical one on y/n’s desk so they can cross paths outside of working together and possibly start a convo and go somewhere. it backfired and the two just say “weird coincidence. everyone must’ve got this!” and wave bye

2. atsushi trying to subtly tell dazai y/ns favorite flower and he just says “oh, that’s great! are you getting them a birthday present early or something”

3. even kunikida being forced into trying to help by asking dazai if he is interested in hanging out with him and y/n (so he can pretend to end up being sick and it would just be dazai and y/n) and dazai saying “oh, is this some sort of elaborate scheme you’re planning on order to have a date with y/n and so it won’t be awkward with just the two of you? i’ll pretend to be sick when it happens for you!” LIKE GOD DAMM DAZAI STOP BEING INSECURE ITS YOU BOY?!

basically stuff like that goes on so much to the point where when the ADA is out celebrating a successful year of missions at a karaoke bar atsushi just yells out over the mic: “I HAVE HAD ENOUGH THIRD WHEELING HERE!!!!! Y/N AND DAZAI YOU BOTH likeeachother-“ and they’re just. WHAT

(SORRY FOR ALL THE TEXT LMFAO)

anon you literally wrote this for me idek what to say you’re so cool

Atsushi’s eyes widened. “What?! I can’t go on this mission, I have, um… an appointment.” Nailed it. “Dazai can take my place! He’s not doing anything right now.” Normally, Kunikida would have pointed out this obvious lie, but he remained quiet - pretty much everyone in the agency knew what he was up to.

Dazai actually was doing something for the first time in a while, but surely this mission was much more important. The brunet took off with you, headed out on an actually very unimportant mission you definitely could’ve taken care of on your own while Atsushi planned.

The tiger boy was quick to tell you and Dazai upon your return about tonight’s important karaoke celebration! And when you tried to weasel your way out of it, Yosano had practically dragged you down to the place. You were ushered next to Dazai as Atsushi and Yosano chose songs for everyone to sing. They said it was to make sure Dazai didn't pick something depressing or you would try to bail out again - this way, everyone had to go. But also... this way, you and Dazai would be stuck singing a romantic duet.

Of course, the two of you took it horribly wrong (in Atsushi's opinion), you both fully committing to the "joke song" Atsushi selected, wholly pretending in the moment. He'd wanted some romantic moment where you two realized you were destined to be together, but you both are just so stupid—

Atsushi had been up next, and was gripping the microphone tightly. He wasn't one to let his anger take over, but this was just getting ridiculous. As the opening notes played to the song he chose, he shouted out your deepest secret, and Dazai's as well.

You both like each other.

With slack jaws and wide eyes, every agency member stared at Atsushi in shock. He'd turned pink as he realized his mistake, muttering apologies as he placed the mic back down. Tense silence filled the air, the only sound being the scraping of Ranpo's spoon along the ceramic ice cream dish he'd ordered.

After a moment, Yosano started clapping. "Someone had to say it, and we all knew they wouldn't."

The rest of karaoke was horribly awkward for you and Dazai. You'd moved ever so slightly away from each other, completely embarrassed. What if Atsushi had just made up that Dazai likes you back? What if Atsushi had just made up that you like Dazai back? All either of you knew is that he had yelled out your biggest secret, and neither of you were too excited to sing anymore.

The lights had been turned on and everyone was gathering their things. It had been a fun night out, all things considered. Yosano got completely hammered and Ranpo couldn't direct his way home if his life were at stake, so Kunikida and Atsushi led the both of them back to their homes (with Kyouka right on Atsushi's tail). The Tanizaki siblings had left a bit before everyone for whatever their reasons were, so just you and Dazai were left standing outside the karaoke bar, awkwardly gazing out at the quiet city.

"So... tonight was different, huh?" You spoke anxiously, picking at a loose thread on your top.

"I didn't expect Ranpo to be that good a singer," Dazai replies with a polite smile.

You sighed. The last thing you wanted was for things to turn awkward between the two of you. "Listen, Dazai— "

"Do you want to walk home with me?" He cut you off.

You smiled softly, letting out a small chuckle. "Of course."

rock band member dazai where he’s often in the media for drama between him and his previous ex band partner and you happen to run into him (anonymously!) on a chatting app. eventually his “personal conflicts “ he tells you about him and a ex friend start to align a lot with a certain famous singer’s tabloid scandals, so you bite the bullet and ask if it’s him or if he is just going through the same exact specific events dazai is. he ends up revealing his identity and you end up getting backstage tickets to his shows and he ends up just as obsessed with you as you are (chuuya is pissed that somehow that shitty dazai got a partner before him)

its u.

Dazai’s heart rate picked up at the two grammatically incorrect words that popped up in his notifications. You’d been so close to figuring it out for weeks; Was today finally the day?

wdym

Right: play dumb. There’s no guarantee you figured out who he is, so he just needs to stay calm.

Sure, week after week he’d tell you stories from his life that popped up in magazines and circulated around online the next day or so, always causing you to come back and flaunt it in his face that your favorite guitarist had done it “bigger and better” (even though the stories were the exact same). You frequently pointed out similarities in them (being him and… himself) to the point where he almost saved and told you several times, but something always held him back. Maybe he should just finally rip the bandage off.

A photo message came in. It was a screenshot - a screenshot of a picture Dazai had sent you. In the background had a bright red circle around something small. He zoomed in, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Couldn’t you just type it out? What a hassle - oh.

Yeah, he should’ve listened when his manager told him to pick it up and display it properly.

The image was a bird’s eye view of his hand, flashing his fresh coat of nail polish and his rather messy wooden floors (and his cute orange halloween socks). Nothing too damning upon first glance. Sure, you’d mentioned that your favorite band’s guitarist had painted his nails the same color, but that was mere coincidence, right?

No. Because this lazy moron couldn’t put things away, in the top left corner of the photo - the area circled in red - showed an opened package with the platinum record his band was gifted for their most popular song. Why would he have that if not a member of the band himself?

He looked up from his phone blankly, staring at the package still nestled on the side of his room. The only difference from the photo is that it had been pushed slightly to the side since then, stopping him from tripping over it. What a stupid mistake; Dazai had always been much more careful than this (except when he wasn't).

dude

u let me gush to u ab URSELF????

im embarrassed

Dazai smiled. Well, at least things weren’t awkward.

It had been a few months and you and Dazai were happy to talk in person now that he didn’t have to hide his face. You’d been backstage at many of his shows, meeting his bandmates and spending time in person. It had honestly been so much fun, but sometimes Dazai missed the cat and mouse game he’d been playing when you were unsure of his identity - back when you texted him rumors and articles about his own life, saying how crazy it was that your favorite artist went through the same things as him.

He’d woken up earlier than he wanted to due to the myriad of calls blowing up his phone. “What..” He grumbled, not even bothering to check caller ID. “Who is this?”

“You asshole! You got a fucking partner before I did? And they’re hot, too! No way they settled for you,” Chuuya continued to grumble while Dazai put him on speaker phone, tuning him out. Whatever he was yapping about didn’t matter once he noticed a notification from you.

do u know this guy? he seems to be goin thru the same things u r…

A link is included, leading Dazai to an article with a picture of him and you. The first thing he notices is how smitten he looks with you, causing him to blush very faintly as he smiles to himself. Is that really what he looks like around you?

Rockstar Dazai Osamu Finds New Fling - Or Maybe More?

More, definitely more.

“Are you listening, asshole?” Chuuya shouted from his speaker. “How’d ya get a partner before me?”

Dazai smiled, saving the paparazzi shot onto his phone. “My height, definitely.”

i randomly thought of pm!dazai and ada!reader and……

You shifted uncomfortably on the wooden seat, hands fiddling with the hem of the black tablecloth. Dread isn't strong enough to describe what you felt leading up to this.

"You haven't even looked at the menu, darling," Dazai smirked across from you, a glimmer of amusement in his eye.

Without your usual aggressively crude retort that always had Dazai holding back laughter, you timidly picked up the fancy, leather bound menu - hands now fiddling with the thick string keeping it sewed together rather than the tablecloth. Your gaze was thoughtless, barely registering the exorbitant dishes listed alongside exorbitant wines.

The bandaged man sighed, his frown a clear indication of his annoyance, but kept his mouth shut.

You thought back to the president’s plea with you the day before. He hadn’t expressly told you to play nice with the executive of your rival organization (he wasn’t that kind of man), but the way he asked you to stay calm and remain vigilant told you all you needed to know. Furrowed brows pointed down at the menu allowed Dazai to read your frustration.

The two of you had done nothing more than trade blows on the battlefield — usually to Dazai’s success — and yet he’d appeared at the agency one day to ask for permission to court you. Had he not been your enemy, you would have considered it sweet, dismissing that the bouquet of daisies he brought came stolen from the flowerpots of the café below. He was anxiously fiddling with the white petals, panic in his gaze when he’d accidentally pull one off the flowers. The dangerous demon prodigy of the mafia you’d been warned against time and time again was utterly smitten with you to a pitiful degree.

He seemed to have cleaned up his act since then, smirking confidently at you while leaning back in his chair across the table. Shifting, he moved forward just enough to gently push your menu down, following the action with a soft, “Hey.”

You looked up at him, taking his place as the nervous one between the two. Having succeeded in gaining your attention, Dazai rested his chin on the palms of both hands, continuing to lean in towards you.

“You’re uncomfortable.”

It wasn’t a question, merely an observation, and yet you replied as though it were. “I’m not.”

Still no witty retort. The thought caused Dazai to sigh once more, but his grin remained the same. “If you didn’t want to go on a date, why did you agree?” His tone was nonchalant, a slight shrug punctuating his question as he leans back comfortably once again, but you knew better. His finger running over the rim of his empty wine glass, gaze shifting from you to down at the table for a moment too long…

“You know why,” you choose to reply, not mentioning his nervous demeanor.

Of course Dazai knew why.

“Have you two had enough time to look over the wine menu?” A cute waitress stood at the edge of your table, a polite smile on her face and hands clasped together behind her back professionally.

Silence held still for a moment too long before you decided to speak up. “No, sorry, not quite— “

“We won’t need to.” He quietly folded up the separate wine menu, handing it back to the waitress. Your brief moment of shock quickly turned to disdain as he continued. “The bottle that should have arrived this morning will do. Under Dazai,” He spoke cockily.

This motherfucker had a bottle of wine flown in for this. He asked you out the day before, so how long has he had this planned out?

The waitress politely took the wine menu from him, her eyes lighting up momentarily as she realized who he was. “Ah, Mr. Dazai! We’ll have that out for you shortly. Our owner wanted me to commend you on your great taste. It’s a shame she couldn’t be here in person.”

A dismissive wave of his hand sends the waitress away, leaving to grab whatever bottle he specifically ordered.

“What’s the occasion?” You spoke distastefully, forgetting yourself for a moment. Instead of tripping over your words to save the moment, you just let out a low breath and waited for him to respond.

“Why, it’s to commemorate our first date. Even if you only agreed to appease me, I still want it to be special…” He trailed off, words turning soft before he cleared his throat. “You deserve only the best, darling. I ordered the most expensive wine for us tonight: a 1992 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon. The price comes from the vastly small quantities of bottles ever produced. I had the owner track down a bottle and paid her the difference.”

“Oh, how kind,” you spoke awkwardly. “I don’t really drink, though.”

Tense, awkward silence practically stung the two of you. Dazai felt so stupid; the first time he actually likes someone, and he couldn’t even figure out what you like in preparation! Chuuya had guaranteed this bottle would impress you, but you didn’t even like wine.

Dazai stood up abruptly, his face unreadable for a moment.

“But, um, I’m fine trying it! Like you said, it should be special!” You figured your recovery attempt was poor as Dazai spun away from you, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his fancy suit pants.

“Let’s go.”

The waitress watched in shock as the two of you leave the restaurant, clutching the $500,000 bottle of wine in her hands.

You’d been following silently behind Dazai for a few minutes, and with his quick pace, your legs were starting to ache. The fancy shoes you’d donned were killing your heels - you could practically feel the blisters forming. But still, you remained quiet. What would he do now? You pretty much ruined his whole plan, told him you weren’t interested, and made him waste a bottle of wine you didn’t want to begin guessing the price of. It was a 1992 Something Eagle… What was it? You’d definitely ask Yosano when you saw her next at work.

Suddenly, Dazai stops in front of a small curry shop. The place looked cheap when compared to the restaurant you were just in, and the idea of Dazai being well versed in the place felt like a joke. You two were visibly out of place in the joint, something that only hit you as he held open the door, letting you walk inside ahead of him. The place was well kept, but clearly not a restaurant you’d wear a suit and tie to, which is what Dazai was happily flaunting in the original restaurant just a few minutes prior.

“We’ll both take the usual, please,” Dazai speaks to the man behind the counter, who happily smiles and begins dishing out two plates of curry.

Your date pulls out a chair for you at the counter, pushing it in gentlemanly once you sit down before taking the seat next to you. “Thank you” is muttered by the both of you as the bowls of curry are placed in front of you.

The only sound was the clattering of dishes as the attendant cleaned and you and Dazai ate. After a moment, he started whining, tongue sticking out as he complained about how hot it was. The view was… welcoming. It was nice to see Dazai in a state that wasn’t so perfect. You figured all the anxious fiddling you’d been exposed to earlier (and the day prior) was an act, but you were starting to view all of it as genuine. Maybe he really did just want a chance with you.

The soft laughter you let out had Dazai turning to you with hearts in his singular visible eye, cheeks red (from the spicy curry, of course) and breath still. “The infamous Demon Prodigy can’t handle his spice?” You smirked, and for the first time in two days, Dazai relaxed. That was a witty retort, wasn’t it? You were feeling more comfortable.

“Wow,” he spoke breathlessly, completely enamored with you for a moment before clearing his throat. “I mean, wow. I can’t believe you’d make fun of me for not eating spicy foods.”

You chuckled, and Dazai swore he was in heaven. He got you to laugh twice. “Honestly I'd expected someone in your position to stomach the spiciest of foods with crazy-high tolerance,” you rested your chin onto your palm, leaning in towards Dazai.

“Well, I expected you to have terrible spice tolerance, so ha.” His response was bad, but the glimmer of amusement that flickered in your eyes made him not care.

“Hey, thanks for this. I don’t much care for stuffy restaurants like that.” You took a bite, not even flinching as you swallowed the spicy curry.

“I just wished I had the foresight to take you here first.” Another silence settled between the two of you, this one much more comfortable. “And… I’m sorry. I should’ve realized you’d feel forced to accept my invitation. After today, we can go back to only seeing each other in battle.”

“Hm,” you hummed, swallowing the curry you bit into as he started talking. “Honestly, this was still one of the better dates I’ve been on, if not entirely weird. Maybe we could hang out outside of work. As friends, of course.”

“Just friends?” Dazai let out a dramatic gasp, hand over his heart as he nearly fell out of his chair. “But Romeo and Juliet were a romantic pair! How are we to take over their destinies?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the corner of your lips quirked up in amusement. “Their destinies were to kill themselves.”

“Exactly! And how are we expected to reach that point as just friends?” Dazai whined childishly, an exaggerated pout jutting out his bottom lip.

“Maybe we can revisit the topic in the future.”

dazai probably smells like freshly washed sheets, and detergent, and comfort…

i don’t think he would get any perfumes, cologne yes but he would feel like perfumes aren’t necessary

i love him sm…

you're right anon i feel like he walked into a perfume shop one time got blasted with every smell known to man and immediately left . he does not gaf. also lowkey i imagine he smells like spilled alcohol and canned crab bc thats his morning if he remembers to eat

It has been a long weekend and Dazai was honestly excited to get back to work. As much as he messed around and pawned his work off onto others, being with the agency made him feel good — he liked helping people. Also, he missed you a little bit.

Sniff, sniff... Probably not as much as you missed him.

"You're always so warm... It's like you were taken out of the dryer right before you got here!" Your arms were dangling loosely off his shoulders, head buried into the crook of his neck. "I'm smelling you right now, by the way. Sorry if that's weird."

It is, for sure, but you two were just like that. Dazai stood quietly with a small smile on his face, letting you continue to just bask in his presence for a few minutes. It was far too early in the brunet's opinion — it was still dark out! — and right now he wanted nothing more than to just cuddle up with you on the agency's couch and go back to bed.

"It is weird. Get to work," Kunikida spoke from his desk, already sorting through his reports.

"Kunikida, you're just mad they don't want to smell you. You probably smell like frustration and grossness, where as I smell like flowers and love." Dazai bats his eyelashes teasingly towards his coworker, who mutters angrily but doesn't reply.

"Dazai, you smell like detergent. That's why I always think you just rolled in here from a dryer. It's a very fresh and comforting smell."

"Aha! Comforting; You hear that, Kunikida?"

y!dazai is such a silly little guy… i can imagine reader developing stockholm syndrome after a while (which is sadly some cases for kidnapping :( ) but maybe he had gotten bored…

YOU GET IT (silly guy) i'm on it boss 🫡

“You opened a window.”

Your metal fork clattered against the ceramic plate, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “I’m sorry..?” you start, inviting him to elaborate.

“The window in our bedroom,” Dazai gently set his fork down. “It’s open.”

Silence engulfs the tiny dinner table, the food you’d spent all day cooking turning cold.

“Were you planning something?”

“No, Osamu,” your voice comes out stern, but polite: The last thing you wanted was to anger the man across from you. “I would never-“

“But you have, remember?” His eyes narrowed, not a single glimmer of mercy to be found. “Last month around this time. Is this going to be a pattern?”

Dazai hated when you didn’t reply, but you weren’t sure what to say. You hadn’t opened a window, nor were you even sure what he was referring to.

“You know what happens when you lie, right?”

“I’m not lying, Daz- Osamu. I wouldn’t leave you; You protect me.”

A long sigh escaped the brunet’s lips. As cute as you could be, he wouldn’t tolerate this behavior. “I invite you into my home, keep you fed and clothed, and this is the thanks I get? A half-baked plan covered by a less than stellar lie. You’ve done better, doll. I expect better, honestly...” Was he mad at your alleged escape or the poor lying?

“Osamu, you mean so much to me-“

“But not enough, yes? You prefer your stupid friends, all of whom up and left you when you lost your job and couldn’t afford to keep your apartment, yes? Who was there to help you?” His narrowed gaze turned harsher, a full-blown glare pointed your way. “Who?”

“Y-you were, Osamu.”

“I was.” A sip of his drink allowed for you to breathe, a moment of reprieve as his throat was too busy to reprimand you. “And after no job would hire you, I allowed you to stay, under the promise you made me that you wouldn’t leave me like everyone else has.”

“I don’t want to leave you-“

“Did I say I was finished?”

You sat up tall, frozen solid as you quickly shake your head. No, he didn’t.

“I allowed you free lodge in exchange for some simple house chores, and this is the thanks I get? A broken promise and a poorly made lasagna,” he gestures down to the dinner you’d made. It was a new recipe, sure, but you didn’t think it turned out that badly..

“I’m sorry, Osamu,” you whispered, afraid you’d break out into tears if you spoke any louder. Your throat felt dry and your body felt stiff — Honestly, a cracked window might help you to just breathe right now.

“I’ll have to punish you for this behavior, you know.”

It wasn’t a question, so you don’t respond. Dazai continues eating, legs crossed and leaning back. He was unfazed and relaxed, which makes sense — you were the one in danger.

As you stared silently down at your hands, fists anxiously gripping the fabric of your pants, Dazai smirked. Maybe he should leave the windows open more often.

haii deer i hope you are able to get all your assignments done on time! was reading your tags and aro dazai?? big brain.

so how about aro ace darling? never been in a relationship and never really want to, their friends are more than enough for them !! honestly i just wanna be aro buddies with dazai 🥹

but damn just being weirdo coworkers together, im,,, willing to look past many red flags for him 💔

YOURE JUST LIKE ME FR dazai and i are best friends and we are aro you can ask him yourself also weirdo coworkers.. you get it

"Oh, wait, so you were the latest person hired?" Atsushi's head cocked to the side, looking at you with curiosity. "How long have you been here?"

"My dear here has been with the agency for three months! You know, I was the one that brought them on board," Dazai gloated, a smug smirk on his face and a dramatic hand over his heart.

You were quick to play along, throwing a dramatic hand over your forehead as you leaned back. "Oh, my hero! What would I do without my lovely Dazai?" The sarcastic lilt in your tone didn't go unnoticed by the newest agency member, but he decided not to comment on it.

"Was it like what happened with me? Did you find Dazai drowning?" Apparently a common occurrence, Atsushi had pieced together.

Dazai denied, a smile on his face as he replied with a simple, "Nope!" A few moments of silence passed before the junior realized he wasn't going to elaborate.

Just as he opened his mouth to ask for more information, you decided to take pity on the poor soul and fill him in. "I bailed him out of a holding cell."

No one bat an eye. Atsushi looked around the office, trying to see if maybe someone was holding back laughter, but not a single one of his new coworkers were phased. Did they not hear what you said?

"He got detained for public disturbance in the middle of a case. I told Dazai he'd have to find a way to get out on his own, and he shows back up not even thirty minutes later with them in tow," Kunikida explains, frustration evident in his voice. "I was trying to teach him a lesson."

"I was in the area," you shrug.

"Yeah, being detained as well..."

"I was being released from detainment, actually!" You correct Kunikida, a proud grin on your face. "And Dazai said I should follow him, so I did."

Atsushi laughed awkwardly. He knew you seemed similar to Dazai in your hedonistic pursuits, but this was baffling. "And the president hired you?"

"I had an entrance exam, but pretty much! I had just been fired from my old job the day before so Dazai helped me get set up here. And before you ask: I was fired because I told the boss' kid I wouldn't date him. He got all upset and told daddy to can me," you huff in frustration, still annoyed at your wrongful termination.

Kunikida rolled his eyes. "Don't act like some martyr; You also deserved to be fired. You just messed around on the job like you do here. You barely got any work done."

"You want me so badly it makes you look stupid—"

"I told them to sue and say it's discrimination because they're aro," Dazai cut you off, a pout on his lips like he's annoyed you didn't take his advice.

"What's... arrow?" Atsushi cocked his head to the side. He was unaware of the terminology, having never come across it in this context during his studies at the orphanage.

"Oh, it's shorthand for aromantic. It just means, like, experiencing little to no romantic attraction to anyone. It varies, of course..." You try to explain simply.

Atsushi nods, understanding the basic idea. "But it'd be wrong to lie about your sexuality, right?"

"I'm aro, actually," you shrug. Everyone at the agency is well aware, so Atsushi will likely find out eventually.

"Oh!" The younger employee's cheeks turn pink, feeling a little sheepish for assuming. A moment passes as Atsushi thinks before furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. "I thought you and Dazai..?"

"We're both aromantic," Dazai rests his chin on his hand, elbow on his desk and an amused smirk pulling at his lips. "I've dated a lot in the past, but I realized it's just not for me."

"I've never been in a relationship and never want to," you add in yourself. "Aromanticism is... much more complex than how I explained it. Dazai feels romantic attraction, but doesn't— Is it fine if I tell him this?" You suddenly ask, realizing it really isn't your place to speak on his experience, even as his best friend.

"Oh, I don't care. Saves me the trouble," Dazai waves his hand dismissively. "But yeah, I feel romantic attraction, but lose it when it's reciprocated."

Atsushi nods slowly, beginning to understand. "Oh, okay. So you two are just close friends, then."

"Are we just not going to ask what you were doing in a holding cell when Dazai got thrown in?" Tanizaki asks from his desk.

"I just got too silly, you know how it is."

i came across your blog a few days ago and all i could think of is deerlike/fawnlike darling 😭 someone who’s sensitive and shy, a bit vulnerable !! would go so well with any of the dazais omg

YOURE SO RIGHT imma delve into a few different variations :)

Deludedly obsessed Dazai would view your deer-like traits as something inherently weak. It’s something that makes you sensitive and ill-equipped for the cruel world he grew up in. Since he’s well versed in the cruelties of life, Dazai can make sure you stay safe, right? He takes it up as his job to look after you and keep you safe, remaining close at all times when he can be. If you work in the agency alongside him, he makes sure to pull you onto missions that he’s already leading or will pawn off whatever he’s working on to join yours. He works at the agency, sure, but his job is to look after you. If you find him scary, that's merely because of how many people must have been able to wrong you in the past! It's not like it's hard to, in fact, he could easily— no.

That's why he needs to protect you, to keep you away from people like himself. Oda would want him to help out the poor and defenseless, right? Even if you can't accept that yet, you'll understand in a matter of time. Or you won't, and Dazai will have to take more... drastic measures.

-

Dazai who knows his obsession for you is wrong will start out thinking similar things — how easy you would be to manipulate (he hates that that’s his first thought), how much he should make sure to keep you safeguarded and out of harm’s way — but try to put a stop to it. If you work in an office job or something similar, he’ll be sure to remind himself that you’ve made it this far, and it’s not like you’ll be stumbling into trouble any time soon. To keep his mind from unraveling and his obsession and anxieties from worsening, he’ll follow you home after work under the blanketed night sky, reminding himself the whole time that you’re safe. And if anyone tries to harm you? …

He’d have such an urge to just keep you at his home, safe and away from the cruel outside, but he knows that’s wrong; Dazai knows how sad you’d be and while you’d have no way to fight back, he’d feel so guilty watching you break down in front of him. Looking after you is all he wants to do, including emotionally. But maybe feeling a little sad at the beginning is better than someone hurting you…

As much as he tries to fight it, Dazai knows you’d be better off staying by him all the time.

-

Manipulative and harsh Dazai who gets some sick joy out of your timid demeanor. He’ll want to crush your spirit, prove that your invulnerability is nothing more than a weakness he intends to exploit. You work in some sort of cozy shop mainly by yourself (ie coffeehouse, flower shop, something cutesy) and it almost makes him sick - how can someone be so sweet and innocent? He wants that for himself and you make it far too easy to obtain. A few kind words and polite smiles and he knows he’s become your favorite customer, even if he never buys anything. He brings you a coffee one day out of the goodness of his heart and Dazai swears he sees hearts in your eyes. He builds up a rapport so quickly and smoothly you don’t notice the red flags (how he always seems to know your schedule, favorite coffee..) and dismiss your co-worker’s worries. There’s no way he could be so rude and flippant with them, it’s not in his nature!

And when you get fired after some anonymous customer continuously claimed you were horribly rude to them, Dazai was there to console you. You find yourself at his place much more often, spending time solely with him as your friends begin to ghost you. As thanks to the man who kept you afloat during all of this, you’d stay and help around Dazai’s apartment, cleaning up and bringing him food… and when he mentioned how lonely it gets, well, what kind of friend would you be if you didn’t stay the night? And the next one. And the next…

Once you’ve all but entirely been kidnapped moved in, Dazai reminds himself that the world out there is cruel. So, if you miss being outside so much, then he’ll gladly bring the harsh world to you.

-

Possessive loser Dazai who doesn’t want your vulnerability and (as he views it) “pureness” tainted by someone else, but is happy just watching you stumble from afar. He swoops in during your date with a friend, dragging you out claiming that they were planning on hurting you! He just wants to keep you safe, don’t you understand that? And you do. You so pliantly nod as you thank him, letting out a sigh of relief that Dazai saved you yet again. How do you keep picking these horrible people?

One night, last minute, you went out with a few friends, and Dazai found out the next day. He spent all day avoiding you, angry beyond belief that you could be so stupid! Don’t you know they’re all the same?! He’s just trying to keep you safe! You’re so sensitive, so malleable; the last thing he wants is for some assholes to make you do something you don’t want to (never mind you saying you had fun). You apologize profusely, because of course you do: Dazai is your best friend.

-

Port Mafia Dazai whose only basis for relationships comes from Mori and his ability. He knows it’s wrong, right? But when he sees you, so shy and easy to scare, his mind is made up: You are too good for the Mafia. He takes you back to his small shipping container and decides he’d be the one to take care of you, like Mori does with Elise. His paychecks begin to go towards frilly outfits and soft pajamas for his darling, expensive cakes he wants to see you try and the same kind of crayons he saw Elise forcing the Boss to buy a few days ago. You’re well pampered and still so shy and polite, which is why Dazai is so aggravated when you finally ask to feel the sun on your skin once more. He’s sacrificed so much to keep you happy and spoiled, but you still ask for more?…

…He buys you a big house away from Yokohama’s port with big glass walls for you to enjoy the sun.

-

I imagine a more work-oriented or apathetic Port Mafia Dazai would be the only rendition that doesn’t treat you like a frail doll. Your vulnerable and shy side is cute, sure, but that can be a skill. He’d send you on missions to lure and attack like Kyouka or undercover, as no one expects such a shy person to be apart of the feared organization. He would spend his time training and mentoring you like Akutagawa, but he wouldn’t be nearly as harsh. You don’t have the ability and skills Akutagawa does, but you still should know basic self defense. Who knows? Maybe one day he’ll wrap you up in bandages and train you to follow in his footsteps.