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i think the scariest part of just like. the baseline, fundamental parts of asylum therapist! suguru is the origins of his obsession if that makes sense??
(referring to the au i established in this and this oneshot :]])
like this man truly, truly believes that you’re an angel just because you were able to see through his charm. you saw the darkness in his eyes — in his smile — that he always tried so hard to hide… but you. you saw it from the first time you ever met him. even when you’re sedated and your judgement is clouded, you know the sort of evil in his heart.
you knew him better than anyone within the first half hour of knowing him and you weren’t scared. you threatened him. for someone as damaged — as delusional — as suguru geto, that’s the biggest sign of divinity that you could’ve given him. why wouldn’t he want to keep his angel safe?
and even if you are an angel, he knows you were given to him as a punishment. too much of a good thing is bad for you and suguru is convinced that you are that good thing, that his indulgence in you will surely lead to his fall. knowing that, who could blame him for stalling his inevitable demise? if he was to die by your hands at least let let him hold those hands for the time being. even death row prisoners get a final meal, right?
now to you, suguru geto is the devil incarnate. you don’t believe he was some “divine punishment” (hell, you barely believed you deserved the worldly punishment given to you), but he was… something.
to have a man fully take away your power, make you weak… he had to die, that was your only option. even if you tried to escape you know he’d only use that as an excuse to restrain you even more when he caught you again (when. not if.)
you were smart, you had a plan. you just had to wait it out.