BUT I'VE SEARCHED FAR AND WIDE FOR THIS POST - Blog Posts

back from the dead!

note from kin: the gif for this one’s probably my favourite one so far, but i just know that the quality is going to get nerfed because everyone’s so small

also, just in case it wasn’t obvious, the prompt here is that that you ‘died’ one way or another but then you come back because (plot twist) you didn’t actually die - though it’s a bit different in albedo’s case

fandom: genshin impact

character(s): gn! reader, diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, xiao, venti, albedo, a couple of other mentioned characters

pairing(s): diluc/reader, kaeya/reader, childe/reader, zhongli/reader, xiao/reader, venti/reader, albedo/reader

warning(s): death (obviously), blood/injury, implied suicidal thoughts

genre: angst

diluc:

diluc has many feelings about this situation, the main one being: why

why would you do this to him? do you enjoy torturing him? is that it?

no, that’s not fair... he knows you didn’t mean to make everyone think you’d up and died on them

but still. two weeks. two ENTIRE weeks he’d thought you were gone

it had been a simple trek to dragonspine, and you’d reassured him that you’d be fine without him, so he’d stayed behind to deal with business, while you put up a request for some volunteers from the adventurer’s guild to come with you

in the end, a team of five left mondstadt city. only four came back.

three days after you left, diluc opened the door of dawn winery to see those four ghostly, stricken faces staring back at him. not a word was said for a good minute, but in that moment, he already knew what news they were about to deliver

he stopped them before they could recount the details of your inability to outrun the avalanche and subsequent fall. his mind had already laid out every agonising moment for him, from your last thoughts to your last breath - did you think of him? did you call for him, hoping against all hope that he would save you? did you die waiting for a hero that never came?

the next day, he joined the volunteers who set out to recover your body. if any of them noticed the lonely figure trailing behind them, head lowered and dragging his feet as if the weight of the world had fallen on his shoulder, they didn’t say a word

he dug first with his weapon, igniting the metal with his pyro vision so that it cut through the snow easily, and when that became too heavy for his grief-exhausted arms to bear, he dropped it and dug with his hands instead, refusing to give up, even when the cold seeped through his gloves and bit into his hands until the skin began to crack and bleed

but, in the end, they could only bury an empty casket. despite all of his efforts, they couldn’t find your body.

he chooses a quiet place by the vineyards of dawn winery and marks the grave with a simple headstone, vowing that he’ll come by every day to polish it - even when he’s old and grey, and the flowers have stopped springing up in the grass

and, of course, THAT’S when you finally decide to show up

“what’s with the long face?”

there you stand, in the flesh, perfectly healthy if not a little malnourished, still dressed in the now rather tattered clothes that you set out in, and, most importantly, alive

he can hardly believe it. in fact, he doesn’t believe it for a good moment or two; he turns away, blinking hard as frustrated tears threaten to running down his face. surely he can’t be so grief-stricken that he’s started hallucinating?

but then you walk up to him and set a hand on his arm, a comforting and wonderfully solid hand, and the warmth in your voice as you ask him what’s wrong is too true to life, too inimitable to be an illusion. it’s you, and you’re alive!

he saves the questions for later and wastes no time in pulling you to himself, sinking to the ground as his legs finally give out beneath him. you wrap your arms around him, and he’s dimly aware of you speaking, but he’s so awash with his own relief and unadulterated joy that he can’t hear anything but the ecstatic thumping of his own heart

these two weeks without you have been absolute hell. he never wants to feel as he did again. he never wants to lose you again - he can’t lose you again

because this time, at least, you came back. if you hadn’t, and if in the future, you don’t… well, diluc doesn’t know what he’d become

for now, though, he holds you close. he’ll worry about it tomorrow - and tomorrow can wait. it owes him this much.

kaeya:

when you suddenly show up, dripping wet and looking remarkably like you’ve spending the past few days being pickled in brine, to your own graveside wake, kaeya is absolutely beside himself

he’d rather been under the impression that you were dead. deceased. completely gone from this mortal coil.

after all, who could survive being dragged into the waters of qingce by an oceanid? who could suddenly resurface perfectly intact after being trapped under the surface of the water for over four hours?

you, apparently. and kaeya isn’t sure whether he should be throwing himself at you in joy, weeping out of pure relief, or giving you the hardest punch he can for scaring him like that

five hours he’d waited by the lake’s edge, freezing paths over the dark water in hopes that he might catch sight of you in those depths if he went further out, wandering all the way around the lake’s border and then back again, hoping against all hope that you might have washed up on the shore

he knew, though, deep down, that there was no point. you were doomed as soon as he let you slip under the surface.

he’d stayed in the area for the next few days, always finding himself wandering back to the lake, no matter how much he tried to focus on exploring the new landscapes, hoping against all hope that he might see you again

but, of course, he didn’t, and so he returned to mondstadt with a piece of himself missing - a piece of himself that, though he denied it, died as soon as he watched you disappear into the water

no one was willing to dive into that lake to retrieve your body - if there was even a body to retrieve. kaeya tried to return to qingce to do it himself, but jean wouldn’t even let him out of the city.

“i can’t let you go,” she’d said impassively, steeling herself against kaeya’s pathetic, pleading gaze. “it’s suicide.”

kaeya had stared back at her, and his reaction would stay with her for the rest of her life.

“so what?”

in the end, kaeya hadn’t been allowed to journey back to qingce, and the funeral was held without a body

at which point you suddenly walked right up to the morose procession and enquired, loudly, as to whose funeral it was

the brief silence that follows is so palpable that you could probably smash it with a hammer

kaeya's completely frozen on the spot, mouth opening and closing soundlessly as your other friends converge on you, and you disappear under a multitude of tearful hugs for the next five minutes. he stays there, unmoving.

it’s only once the two of you are alone in that deathly-quiet graveyard that kaeya finally lets himself break down. his entire body is trembling as he sinks to his knees right there on the grass, hands reaching up and tangling in his hair as he attempts to come to terms with the tumultuous feelings threatening to overflow from inside him

you kneel in front of him, opening your arms silently, and he can only fall forward into your embrace, burying his face in your shoulder and unable to stifle a sob of pure relief that you’re here, you’re alive, he didn't fail you after all

he tries to apologise for not being able to stop you from going under in the first place, for not being able to save you, for not going back for you, but you refuse to let him apologise for something that wasn’t under his control. you just hug him tighter and promise in whisper that he did all he could, and that you’ll never leave him like that again

eventually, the two of you will have to separate, but right now kaeya can’t bring himself to let him go - not when, mere hours ago, he’d thought he’d never be able to hold you like this again

how much time do you pass like this? neither you nor kaeya know. only the gravestones surrounding you like stone sentinels do - and only they will ever know.

childe:

it’s something he’s heard stories about plenty of times: a lover goes out to war, or to call on a relative, or to sell vegetables at a market in the city, and never returns. but that’s all it’s been to him - a story. he’d always thought of it as something that happened to other people, never something that could happen to him

but it has, and now he thinks he understands why, even in old age, those people’s faces still seem haunted by that loss - indeed, the moment he found your abandoned sword half-buried on one of the beaches of guyun stone forest is one that’ll probably be burnt into his memory forever

a tiny part of him had still clung to the hope that you were alive out there somewhere, but it had already been days since you were first pronounced missing, and you’d never leave your weapon behind - after all, you were visionless. you had no way of defending yourself properly without it.

childe stayed on that beach for a long time. he still doesn’t know how long exactly, but it was long enough for the sun to dip beneath the horizon and for the waves to start lapping impatiently at his boots.

when he did leave, he took your sword with him. but he didn’t bury it just yet - because he refused to let go of that shred of hope

he employed himself for the next few days with looking for any sign of you - day and night, with barely any time to eat or sleep, chasing every lead he could find, no matter how small

but he found nothing, despite pulling out every single desperate tactic he could think of. he began to think that maybe he never would.

eventually, he set off for your favourite spot on mount tianheng, beneath a tree on one of the peaks, but he still couldn’t bring himself to bury your sword there

so, instead, he stabbed the blade into the ground, anchoring it firmly in the dirt - and, after a moment, stabbed one of his own arrows into the ground beside it. he told himself that this arrow would protect your sword as he should have protected you in the first place.

now, five days later, however, when he arrives at that spot to have a quiet moment to himself, the sword is gone. so is the arrow. all that remains of them are two neat little slots in the ground where they’d been stuck

his first thought is that they’ve been stolen, and he feels an immeasurable kind of rage begin to bubble at the pit of stomach - but then he hears a sharp little whizz, and the arrow he’d stuck beneath your sword comes flying out of nowhere and buries itself in the dirt by his feet.

he looks up, and there you are. sitting on a lower branch of the tree, sword at your hip where it always is, wearing that smile that he adores so much.

you hop down, and he stares at you in sheer shock for a moment. finally, he takes two, deliberate steps forward, and pulls you into a silent embrace.

there are no words, no tears, barely even a sound, but the way that his body trembles in your arms tells you all that you need to know.

a long while later, the two of you finally pull apart, and he sniffs bravely, then says with some of his usual bravado, “well, you have to tell me all about what happened now.”

and that’s the end of that - or so you think

for weeks afterwards, childe finds himself lying awake into the small hours of the morning, unable to go to sleep. he’s scared - no, terrified that, if he closes his eyes, you won’t be there when he opens them again

it’s almost funny, to be honest - first, you taught him love, and now you’ve taught him fear

but, in a way, he’s grateful that he’s learned to feel it - because, as long as this fear persists, he’ll be able to protect you with all he’s got.

zhongli:

it must have happened during osial’s attack, but he didn’t find out until an entire week after the fact

zhongli hadn’t dwelt on the incident for long, selfishly indulging in the freedom of a life free of an archon’s responsibilities, completely unaware of what had happened to you

he did of course wonder why you hadn’t come to see him, feeling almost a little hurt, but he reassured himself with the thought that you were probably busy helping out around the city - becuase, despite the traveller, adepti, and qixing’s best efforts, liyue harbour did sustain a fair bit of damage from the whole ordeal

but then he’d spotted a poster pinned up beside one asking after the traveller’s missing twin - a poster that, somehow, he’d completely missed for the past few days (or was he simply refusing to see it?)

your face smiles at him from the yellowing paper, and the single word stamped above your head seems to echo around him

how had he not realised that you were missing for an entire week? had he really been so idiotic as to think it wasn’t odd that he hadn’t seen you on the streets at all?

or did he realise the truth when you didn’t return to him as soon as the battle was over? was he simply refusing to accept it until this moment?

he doesn’t know. to be honest, he doesn’t care.

two days later, your posters start disappearing. no announcement comes, but the absence says two words loud and clear - ‘presumed dead’.

he finds it impossible to enjoy his freedom now, when every smiling face on liyue harbour reminds him of you in the most damning way possible

the reflection of his eyes in the tea in the bottom of his cup seems to warp into your own eyes, glaring back at him accusingly, asking, why did you let me die?

because - and this is the worst part of it all - zhongli only has himself to blame for all of this

none of this would have happened if he hadn’t made that deal with the fatui. osial only rose again because zhongli allowed those harbingers to do what they did.

he lingers for a long while over this, but in the end, there are only two things he can do. everything is over; he can either continue to regret, or move on.

he decides to light some incense for you, and sets out to buy some from a local merchant

and it’s there, as he attempts to make sense of the multitude of numbers being thrown at him, that he suddenly sees your face amidst the crowd milling around the harbour

that isn’t anything out of the ordinary anymore, but then he blinks and looks again, and you don’t swim out of view or fade away; you’re still very much there, wearing a faintly annoyed expression as the crowd around you continues to buffet you back and forth

zhongli makes a decision in a split second, abandoning the incense in the surprise merchant’s hands and charging after you, calling your name with barely-disguised desperation - and you barely have time to turn around before he’s crashing into you at such a speed that the two of you go toppling clean over

the people around scatter, some simply shaking their heads at the disturbance and others standing in shock at the sight of such a man behaving like this, but zhongli can’t be bothered to keep up his image at a moment like this

“you’re alive,” he whispers, indescribable joy rising in his chest when you laugh in reply. he didn’t think he’d hear that sound ever again.

the two of you must be a sight, tangled together and half-lying in the middle in th middle of the street. it’s the sort of behaviour that one would associate with lovesick teens, not the refined gentleman of a god that he is

then again, he can’t really help it. this is just the sort of thing you do to him - and he’s absolutely fine with it

xiao:

he should've known better than to let you see him in the first place, let alone get attached enough to keep allowing you to meet him over and over again

bad luck follows xiao around like a shadow, and it isn’t picky about who it affects

still, he did it anyway - he continued appearing to you whenever you asked him to

it was idiocy - though others might have called it love. for xiao, there isn’t really a difference - because only a fool would think they were deserving of love after committing the crimes that he had.

at first, you were never in danger when you called his name. he came anyway, of course - but then, one day, you were in danger, and he didn’t, not until it was already too late

the two of you hadn’t even been that far apart - he had perched atop one of the stone pillars in huaguang stone forest, and you’d been nearby on mount hulao. if only he’d responded as soon as you’d called, he would’ve gotten there on time.

but he was selfish, and chose to stay there on the pillar for a few moments longer, wanting just another minute to quiet contemplation before he joined you on the mountain

and, as the most damning torture of all, fate had you fall just as he landed on the mountain. he could only watch as you disappeared under the geovishap’s gargantuan claws

the minutes after that are unclear. all he remembered afterwards was the sure weight of his spear in his hands, the wind whipping against his face as he moved faster than he ever had before, the burn of tears in his eyes

xiao had thought that he’d long since lost the ability to cry. how cruel it was that this was how he learnt that he hadn’t.

when he became fully conscious of his surroundings again, the geovishap was stone dead, and you were nowhere to be seen.

still delirious (with grief or anger he didn’t know), xiao fled from the mountain, leaving behind the geovishap’s corpse, and a lump of amber that hadn't been there before

he didn’t know where he was going, only that he was running - and maybe, if he ran fast and hard enough, he’d be able to run straight out of his nightmare, and wake to find you alive on the other side

but, of course, he wasn’t dreaming, and he couldn’t wake up if he wasn’t asleep in the first place

which brings us to now. the last days since the incident have passed in a grey blur, and the fog is finally starting to lift enough from xiao’s mind for him to make a realisation

the amber on mount hulao - would it be too presumptuous to hope that his fellow adepti knew of his bond with you, and protected you where he couldn’t? he almost dares not to hope, but…

he moves faster than the wind itself, and he’s touching down at the spot before he’s even fully aware of it, the geovishap’s body has already melted away into the grass, leaving only the lump of amber that he’d somehow not taken account when he left all those days ago

breath held in anticipation, he raises his spear, and strikes the amber with the sharp edge of the blade. several shards splinter away; he spots something familiar within the orange resin

he works feverishly, and soon enough the last of the amber falls away, revealing you, in perfect health, and a little annoyed by the fact that he took this long to get you out

you can’t really stay mad at him for long, though, not with him looking at you like that, eyes wide and almost wondering

xiao surprises both you and himself by abruptly throwing his arms around you. he’s never initiated contact with you before, and you yourself have never gone beyond just patting his arm

it feels nice, he decides. he can only thank the universe - and his fellow adepti - for the fact that he’s able to lose himself in your embrace like this.

venti:

he heard the news one late afternoon, as he stood playing through his usual repertoire beneath the statue outside the cathedral

he’d picked up on your name amidst a conversation between two people passing by, and while his outward demeanour didn’t give anything away, he was listening intently almost immediately

“...don’t know what happened, but they found their boat by starsnatch cliff this morning. no body or anything, though.”

“talk about unlucky… they must have gotten caught in a storm or something.”

that was all venti managed hear before the two move out of earshot, but it was enough to shake him right to the core. his fingers stumbled on the strings of his lyre, so tense that he accidentally snapped a string

the crowd started murmuring amongst each other as he slowly lowered the instrument, face frozen and eyes wide. then he suddenly turned and sprinted in the direction of the knights of favonius’s headquarters, ignoring the loud complaints coming from his audience

he burst into the building without bothering to wait for approval from the guards outside, and they probably would have arrested him if lisa hadn’t walked out of the library at that moment and stopped them

venti practically dropped to her feet, begging her to tell him what happened - surely what he heard wasn’t true?

but lisa only shook her head and offered to bring venti to the site of your wrecked ship. she didn’t know either

the knights escorting the librarian to starsnatch cliff didn’t say anything about the bard following them, but the pitying looks they shot him said it all. they didn’t think there was a chance that you had survived.

in the end, venti couldn’t bring himself to face the wreckage - because he knew he would lose all hope if he did

he spends the next five days sitting at the precipice of starsnatch cliff, gazing out across the endless seas, desperately wishing that he might see the shape of a raft or a boat riding the distant waves. several times he falls asleep and dreams that your figure was sailing back to him from the fog, only to wake to see nothing but empty horizons again, and no amount of wind can swipe away his bitter tears then

then, on the evening of the fifth day, he suddenly sees something - a lone figure seemingly stumbling across the surface of the water itself, lurching every now and then

it’s been a long time since he’s used his powers like this, and his abilities have waned since the loss of his gnosis, but now he’s able to spur himself to his feet, gathering masses of winds beneath him, and he flies straight for the figure with wild abandon

and - joy of all joys - it’s you!

ice crackles from your feet with each, heaving step you take, and he realises that you’re clutching a blue-glowing stone in one hand

in that moment, venti forgets all enmity between him and tsaritsa, and thanks her with all his heart for granting you a vision

he swoops down and catches you in his arms, and the wind follows in his sheer joy, sending the two of you tumbling this way and that, before finally depositing you gently on the shore, mere metres away from your wrecked ship

venti doesn’t even speak for a good while, just clings to you desperately and refuses to let go for even a moment, and somehow that’s even worse than if he’d been in floods of tears instead

you just hold him in return, trying to catch your breath, and the two of you end up falling asleep right there and then, despite how uncomfortable it is there in the sand

venti’s been all cried-out for hours now, and your limbs are so heavy with fatigue that you can barely move, so there the two of you stay, huddled together like children

venti has already loved and lost once before, and that had been enough to think he would never love again. then you came along, and he loved, and lost again, but this time you came back to him, and for that he will always be endlessly grateful

albedo:

the two of you had been out on an impromptu resource-gathering expedition (read: secret date) on wuwang hill. it was your first time in liyue, so you were practically buzzing with excitement, and albedo felt more content than ever with watching your face light up at every new thing you saw

but the evening had quickly soured when the two of you came across a gang of treasure hoarders taunting an injured fox

albedo attempted to calm you down, wanting to deal with the situation as diplomatically as possible, but you’d been positively beside yourself, and flew forwards, aiming a punch at the leader of the group

somehow you managed to punch him hard enough to knock several teeth out of his mouth, and as he stumbled backwards with a yell of agony, the rest of the treasure hoarders turned on you as well

albedo couldn’t very well leave you to fight them off on your own (and, to be honest, he didn’t think very highly of the hoarders’ behaviour thus far), and so the two of you stood back to back, fending off all sorts of projectiles and punches being aimed at you

but neither of you were fighting to kill, only to defend and possibly incapacitate, so the things the two of you could do were limited. albedo imprisoned a decent number of them in geo-produced prisons, but they just kept coming - it was like two arrived to replace each one you knocked down

soon enough the two of you were cornered right on the edge of the hill, and, noting the dizzying fall behind, albedo turned to tell you that the two of you should retreat

everything that happened next seemed to be in slow motion. you turned to look at him, stance wavering for just the briefest of seconds - and a stray thrown blade struck you directly in the chest

in that moment, as you teetered on the edge, eyes wide and seemingly staring directly into his, everything around him seemed to drop into darkness

everything came to a standstill as you fell. the treasure hoarder that threw the blade stood there in shock, and as albedo stood there, frozen in horrified disbelief, his friends quickly seized him by the arm and ran for it

a wise choice - because, if they’d still been there when albedo suddenly came to, they probably wouldn’t have survived the encounter

instead, with no one around to take his anger out on, albedo could only hurry to find you down below on the rocks, using his geo vision to create steps along the steep cliff face

you aren’t breathing when he finally gets to you.

time seems to slow down. he sits there beside you for what feels like an eternity, until the sun has gone down and the blue sky is replaced with a carpet of darkness and stars

it’s beautiful, but he can’t bring himself to look at it. as far as he's concerned, the stars went out the moment he watched you fall, and he has no interest in looking at a dead sky

then, suddenly, he realises something. he doesn’t have medical training, now has he ever learnt to heal… but that doesn’t mean he can’t fix you in other ways

he knows that he doesn’t have the strength to carry you all the way to his laboratory in dragonspine, but he brings plenty of things everywhere with him - and there are plenty of other methods he can employ as well

taboo things, maybe, things that he never would have even thought to try on any other occasion - but he’s desperate, and there is no such thing as too far when it comes to you

he works with almost maniacal fervour, trying one thing after another and another, refusing to let himself rest for even a moment - because each passing minute marks even more distance between the two of you, and he cannot, will not let you drift out of his reach

hours later, the stars have disappeared again, and you open your eyes to see albedo gazing down at you with a faint smile.

---