Curate, connect, and discover
u’v all heard of dean the whore with a heart of gold, but now hear of castiel thee girlboss with a heart of kindness.
List of transgressions on Castiel's Crimingel(Criminal Angel) Record that got him Lobotomized (no order)
Stepping on the first fish that crawled onto land
Fucking the micheal sword (fine, simping 4 the micheal sword & attempting to sabotage the Grand Plan by warning him about the 66 seals)
Attempting to stop the crucifucation of Jesus
Dating Jesus
Vandalising the Earth (crop circles & geoglyphs are just enochian swear words & shit like "God can kiss my ass" & "Ishim is an incel". The White Horse of Huffington is actually a lewd drawing of Naomi)
Planning a coup when heaven refused to intervene during the Great Flood
Trying to pet Unicorns in his true form, accidentally killing them all
Planning a coup when heaven refused to intervene during the Mahabharat
The Tom Sawyer Incident*
Planning a coup when heaven refused to intervene when the Europeans started building ships
Hanging out in black holes (they are forbidden)
*[in 1978, Castiel stole the soul of Tom Sawyer right before its deliverance to hell, where Anubis determined it belonged, & smuggled it into heaven in an act of morbid academic curiosity. It was dubbed to be the "height of [Castiel's] insolence", & his punishment was severe. Tom's trip to heaven contaminated his soul balance, & he had to be sent back to earth. He died again almost 30 years later. He went to heaven.]