Crying Over Fictional Characters - Blog Posts

I thought Leo always chose to make sacrifices for his brothers and protect them? Sorry I am trying to understand the must I always suffer in your place line. Like didn’t he always choose to do that? He didn’t have to do anything for them. Then again I am a middle child so I guess I don’t get it.

In the 2003 iteration, Leonardo’s role as the eldest and leader is deeply tied to self-sacrifice. Throughout the series, it’s shown and even outright stated that he carries a heavier burden than his brothers. He’s held to a higher standard by both his master and himself, pushing him to train harder, expect more from himself, and make decisions that prioritize his family above all else. In the series, this responsibility is something he accepts willingly—he views it as his duty and his way of protecting his clan.

For the story, however, I wanted to explore what happens when that unwavering sense of duty is pushed too far. Being resurrected as a flesh-eating monster by his own brother becomes a breaking point for him. It’s not just the horror of what he’s become, but the deeper betrayal of his own values—sacrificing his humanity to save his brother.

The line “But now, it seems like for so much of our lives, I must suffer in your place” reflects that shift. It’s Leonardo recognizing how often he’s had to endure pain, not just for the sake of his family but in place of them. This moment of clarity is not about resenting his brothers but realizing the toll of always being the one to bear the burden, the consequences, or the suffering so they don’t have to. In this particular context, it cuts even deeper because his younger brother’s decision to resurrect him—despite knowing there would be consequences—was ultimately driven by not wanting to endure his own suffering.

I hope this helps clarify the meaning behind the line and the emotions it’s meant to convey! Thank you so much for the ask—it’s always wonderful to dive deeper into these moments!

Crying over little green guys again.

"Not Enough"

I am in the middle of rewatching the 2003 version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles during my summer break from college, this time with my father, who had only seen bits and pieces of it when I watched it as a child. We are currently on season four, which fans often refer to as the "post-traumatic stress disorder arc" for Leonardo, as it depicts his mental deterioration and increasing anger, even surpassing that of his notoriously hot-headed brother.

While doing the dishes, I asked my father what he thought of the arc so far. He simply said, "He seems angry." I agreed, replying, "Yeah, he's angry at himself." My father responded, "Yeah, but he's also angry at his brothers." This made me pause. I knew Leonardo had moments where he was upset with his brothers for not training enough or for goofing off, but I had not thought of him as being outright angry with them.

Then my father elaborated, "He's angry because they're not perfect, like he expects himself to be." This was a revelation for me. I had always interpreted this arc as Leonardo being angry at himself for not being good enough, but it makes a lot of sense that if he holds himself to such a high standard, he would hold his brothers to the same—and get frustrated and angry when they inevitably do not meet it.

I think a less explored aspect of this arc is that Leonardo is exhausted from carrying the burden alone and was trying to share it with his brothers. However, they do not carry it the same way he does, which does not make them lesser—it just makes them young and still wanting a life outside of crime fighting. Michelangelo captures this sentiment best in the same season when he says,”I think all of you should just lay off the poor guy. I mean, it can't be fun. Always being the responsible one, and we’re the ones who really benefit. Raph's free not to think cause Leo does all the thinking for him, Don's free to dream, And I'm free to take it easy, all cause Leonardo is busy being responsible enough for all of us.”

Anyway, at the ripe age of twenty-two and in graduate school, I find myself once again feeling melancholic over little green guys.