Curate, connect, and discover
am i the only one who read sv3s only because i wanted more cucumberplane interactions ?
and honestly i was disappointed
where's my cucumberplane extra
SQQ: "Fuck, I think I got hit with some sex pollen--"
SQH: "My clothes are off and I'm coming over to your place."
"I still can't believe you named not one, but two characters after yourself," Shen Yuan grumbled from where he was using his husband's shoulder as a pillow, arms wrapped around his waist and puffing warm breaths onto his cheek. "And one of them was that shitty fucking spy."
"I wouldn't say he was shitty," Luo Qinghua said, continuing to type away at the draft for his newest chapter. He loved that he was finally able to actually sit and plan his story out now, rather than have to continuously churn out 10k a day just to make ends meet. Small perks of marrying into a rich family.
Shen Yuan sat up to look him in the eye, accidentally leaning too far backwards in the process. Luo Qinghua quickly reached out to grab the other's thighs to avoid them both tipping over. "Shang Qinghua literally gets exposed as a spy--"
"After several fucking years--"
"--And is immediately killed by Mobei-Jun afterward because he's of no more use!" Shen Yuan continued on as if he hadn't been interrupted. "I'm just saying that you could and would do a far better job. Even though you suck at being sneaky."
"Ahaha, yeah," Luo Qinghua said, averting his gaze. What his husband didn't know about the limited edition PDIW merch he had hidden away in the closet for his upcoming birthday, couldn't hurt him. Shen Yuan narrowed his eyes at him and opened his mouth, so Luo Qinghua quickly kept going. "Well, even if I could do it, I don't know if I would've been able to do all those things Shang Qinghua did, anyway. Planning murder and sabotaging sects isn't really my hobby, you know?"
"Mhm." Shen Yuan pursed his lips, still suspicious, but deciding to go with it. Crisis averted! Though Luo Qinghua knew that Shen Yuan would bring it up later. "I think you'd be clever enough to, but yeah, you wouldn't." Shen Yuan suddenly smirked and unwound his arms from around Luo Qinghua's waist, reaching up instead to interlock them around his neck and pull him closer. "Either way, if I were Mobei-Jun, I would've kept you."
"I'm your husband, even if I was the worst spy on Earth, you would've kept me, regardless," Luo Qinghua deadpanned. Still, he felt his face flushing a light pink. The way Shen Yuan was looking at him made his skin prickle with warmth.
"Mm, exactly," Shen Yuan hummed and pressed his mouth to Luo Qinghua's collarbone. Luo Qinghua shivered. His voice shifted, lower and teasing. "Husband."
"Yes, A-Yuan?" One of his hands stayed on Shen Yuan's thighs while the other reached up to rest on his lower back, caressing the soft skin peeking out from beneath his shirt.
"Save your draft and turn off your laptop."
Luo Qinghua was moving before Shen Yuan had even finished.
Shen Yuan is actually a cuddle bug. Had a ton of Luo Binghe body pillows back home not just for the merch reasons but because he needs something in his bed to squeeze when he's sleeping.
Since he started having weekly planning (boozing and bitching) sessions with Shang Qinghua, he sometimes accidentally sleeps over. After he's finished his paperwork and started on some of Qinghua's, sometimes the wine gets to him and he's just so sleepy. Or, sometimes, Shang Qinghua will let the other read some of the short stories he had written early on in his transmigration when fighting to not lose his mind. Shen Yuan would critique them, before harassing him to publish them anonymously.
("Oh, so you are capable of writing more than papapa trash."
"Aw, you like it?" "...it's good." 🙄)
But by the time he finished them, it would be so late, and it didn't make much sense to leave when a bed was right there. And Shang Qinghua had custom ordered goose feather pillows and blankets, which was so unlike his porcelain pillows, and Shang Qinghua himself is right there. Therefore. The man himself becomes his new object of comfort when asleep.
At first, Shang Qinghua used to just wave it off. Then he started to playfully complain and tease about how clingy Shen Yuan was in his sleep, and Shen Yuan would grumble and turn bright red and turn his back on him... only for them to wake up with Shen Yuan basically curled around the other like an octopus in the morning. And then it just became normal because, of course, they really only had each other, so like why not? It brought them both comfort and two people could totally cuddle platonically.
Before long, more than half the week, Shen Yuan was spending the night over, and some rare times, Shang Qinghua goes to the bamboo house. Shang Qinghua learns when to give up his piles of paperwork when his friend starts getting tired and to get more fucking rest himself. Otherwise, Shen Yuan will just walk in, curl up on his lap with his head resting on Shang Qinghua's shoulder, and fall asleep there.
("Really? I ordered those extra stuffed pillows for you, you know. Go to bed, I'll be done in a minute."
"Ugh, shut up, sleeping isn't the same when you're out here ordering new fighting posts for Bai Zhan Peak for the 5th time this month. I'll just wait here for you to finish."
"In my lap...? That's kinda gay--" 😏
"Qinghua."
"Shutting up and finishing the work." )
Those of An Ding Peak, being the peak that was basically the backbone of the entire sect and kept it running through sweat, blood, and some other bodily fluids, knew how to keep secrets from other peaks. You don't become a disciple there without knowing how to keep your mouth shut when outsiders are around. But between each other, whispers abound.
"I don't think Shen-shibo has left in two days," one disciple murmurs to another when they see Shen Qingqiu flouncing around yet again, ordering one of the disciples to bring some two small meals to their Shifu's rooms for a late dinner.
"Do you think they're... you know?" Another asks quietly after delivering some new contracts to their Shifu. The door to his bedroom had been slightly ajar, and through the cracks, green leaf-pattern outer robes were on the ground.
("I'm not sleeping in these, okay! You should have written in pajamas while you were busy adding in chocolate, and whatever else doesn't exist in Ancient China, to PIDW!" 😒
"Oh my god, just sleep in your inner robes, then! Better yet, borrow some of my clothes. But you're sure as fuck not sleeping naked on my silk sheets, bro!")
The disciples on Qing Jing Peak certainly notice when the bamboo hut isn't occupied for the night. At first, they just thought that their Shizun was extra silent in his house now, but once, Ming Fan had to go to Shizun for a small issue late in the evening, and he wasn't there. Nor was he there the next night, or the next. They're not sure where he is, or what he's doing, but he's always there in the morning, so they don't worry too much.
On the fourth night, Shizun was home, but Shang-shishu was also there. And... stayed there. The lights went out, and the disciples who were sent out to spy came back and reported that Shang-shishu had never left.
("He... is Shang-shishu still in there?"
"I think so. M-maybe he stayed in the extra bedroom?"
"..." 👀
"..." 👀)
The disciples eye each other and simultaneously agree to never let those outside the peak know about this. When crossing paths with A Ding disciples, there are discreet looks and nods of understanding, and they pass each other by with not a word.
(Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua?)
----
One bright and sunny morning, Liu Qingge slams his way into Shang Qinghua's office. He is followed by Mu Qingfang, and Yue Qingyuan, all needing to speak with Shang Qingqua to figure out Shen Qingqiu's whereabouts. He wasn't in his bamboo hut this morning, nor was he anywhere else that he typically frequented.
Mu Qingfang because it was time for his bimonthly check-up to ensure that his treatments with Liu Qingge were progressing as they should. Yue Qingyuan due to peak matters (though, technically, he could do it on his own, but if he got to see Xiao Jiu--). Liu Qingge because the beast that he had dropped on his doorstep yesterday afternoon had yet to be removed, which was odd. And also, he had ordered new fighting posts a week ago, and usually they would have been delivered by now, which was also odd.
Wei Qingwei and Qi Qingqi also follow along because they could smell drama. And also they were a tiny bit worried about their shixiong. Whenever he disappeared for too long, it was likely that he had gotten kidnapped or poisoned. Again.
Shang Qinghua scrambles out of his bed chambers with hastily thrown-on outer robes, blurry-eyed, screaming "Whoosit!?" He barely has time to open his mouth before he is instantly bombarded with several requests, most of them pertaining to the apparent missing peak lord. Liu Qingge also asks about his fighting posts, which Shang Qinghua pretends not to hear.
"We've not seen him in a few days," Mu Qingfang says to him over the noise, with an apologetic smile for waking up his overworked shixiong. "I know you two are somewhat friends, so if you see him soon, please tell him he really needs to come to Qian Cao for his next physical."
"Wait, who's missing? Ah, please don't touch that." The last part is directed at Qi Qingqi, who is combing through his shelves. "Shen Qingqiu is apparently missing, according to this bunch," Qi Qingqi says, smirking at him. She pokes the figurine he told her not to touch. Oh well, she'll realize why he told her not to touch it soon enough.
"Shen Qingqiu? What do you mean, he's--" Shang Qinghua instantly closes his mouth, hoping that no one heard that. "I-I mean, yeah, I'll let you guys know if he stops by! No problem, will absolutely send him your way--" "What was that?" Liu Qingge narrows his eyes at him. "You were about to say something. You know where he is. Tell me."
Shang Qinghua begins to sweat immediately. "Whaaat? No, you must have heard wrong. Seriously, I'll let you guys know if I catch him. Now, if you guys can be on your way--" He starts trying to herd people out.
Unbeknownst to him, his bedroom door cracks open and a figure, eyes barely open, shuffles out and heads towards him. Wei Qingwei, idling in the office, is the first to notice the person wearing another set of An Ding Blue outer robes over soft Qing Jing Green inner ones. His jaw drops.
"Qinghua?" A soft, sleepy voice murmurs in his ear, arms circling around his waist and a head laying on his shoulder from behind. "It's too early, come back to bed." A small yawn.
Shang Qinghua can feel himself freeze with a nervous smile on his face.
Shit.
very sleep deprived but what if: "I dunno, I'm just saying--" sqh wiggles his eyebrows at him.
"stop saying. immediately." to punctuate his words, sqq goes for his true and tried technique: throwing a fan at sqh's forehead with deadly accuracy. it strikes true before the other could dodge and the other lets out a hiss of pain, but stops talking with a small whine of "bro--" and a pout.
a few minutes later, when sqh is still sending him shiny wide eyes and exaggeratedly rubbing at his forehead, sqq sighs. without thinking, he leans over to smack a giant wet kiss on the slightly reddened spot, pushing a bit of spiritual energy into it. he dismisses down the intense urge he has to bite and make it worse. the mark disappears.
"there, I healed it. fucking happy?"
"very happy, thank you very much"
sqh looks at him from underneath his eyelashes, a teasing smirk growing on his face at getting sqq to capitulate, and sqq rolls his eyes, bc sqh honestly could've and should've done it himself, what does he look like, a fucking healer?? he already has to deal with without a cure and sure the amount of energy needed to heal a small knock on the head was so minuscule that it wouldn't affect him even on a bad day, but like???
he's been giving in more and more these days but its not his fault that the airplane was so convincing when he started to act fucking pathetic and just made sqq feel bad for him a little.
(and okay, he likes how vicious, apathetic, hyper competent a-hua can sometimes just be so cute and needy--)
someone cleared their throat.
sqq instantly freezes. he carefully does not notice from the corner of his eyes how sqh has also gone rigid.
in eerie and stiff unison, they both turned their heads to face the rest of the room. the very full room. the very full room of other peak lords. the very full room of other peak lords because they were currently at the monthly peak lord meeting.
the very full room of other peak lords that were staring at him and sqh because they just witnessed him plant a kiss on sqh's forehead.
the silence stretched.
damnit, airplane.
okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.
okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.
peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.
they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.
the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.
they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.
when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--
lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.
he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.
airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.
he just remembered!
the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!
he shivered.
anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.
he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.
and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.
he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)
confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.
[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*
Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]
while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.
airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.
"uh..."
"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?
"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.
THUMP. yqy has fainted.
they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.
"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"
"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"
THUMP. YQY has fainted again.
more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.
after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."
okay but why is cumplane knowing each other in their past lives so cute, like genuinely? maybe its the usual case of "cucumber finds out that airplane is struggling to afford rent and food and so offers financial support so he can get his story back on track" or maybe its one of those "they don't even know the other's online pen and they're acting as completely normally non-NEET friends" or even "they've been friends from the start and cucumber rags on airplane's writing but reads it anyway before he posts just so he can be the first to comment his criticism" or some shit. I dunno.
like if Fanon (I think it's Fanon) of sqh using cucumber bro's comments as a model for his creation of mobei-jun and falling in love with that or sqq falling in love with binghe because he's a more beefed-up reflection of sqh, LIKE HELLO?
I sometimes imagine a world in which they knew each other a little better and were just on the precipice of something more and then. died. and then sqh grows up in this world and mobei-jun reminds him so strongly of a-yuan and... then his villain becomes weird??? wtf?? and more like his old crush from his old world???? and then somehow they meet each other BEFORE lbh goes into the abyss
and theres this whole developing story where they figure it out and pick right back where they left off after a bit of awkwardness, and finally manage to get over that hill from their past life and the peak lords are like "what" because this hsit just got weirder