Cuntz Speaks ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄ - Blog Posts

lil gender (ig?) dysphoria vent ^__^

worst part about being unlabeled (mainly because labels are uncomfortable to you) for me is that my feelings towards gender identity are fluid—so much so that i used to be genderfluid and pronounfluid but all the labels were confusing.

I felt like I was constantly boxing my identity instead of living it to the fullest. (if that makes sense?)

The thing is—when you say you’re “unlabeled” (in which i sometimes feel dysphoric for labeling the term and other times not)

people usually opt for all gender neutral terminology, and I have nothing against gender neutral terms, like I said my feelings are fluid which in itself is so annoying.

because like?? one moment i’m like “this is it, I’m actually just [label] i’ve finally figured myself out” and then my feelings change.

i genuinely have NO CLUE why i’m like this, and it’s frustrating, i do stay with genderfluid crowds when i’m having these issues but even then I don’t want to label myself—especially when my feelings change and it makes me feel dysphoric.

but back to what i was saying, i have nothing against gender neutral terms, and also like i said I sometimes prefer them. but sometimes when it’s ONLY and STRICTLY gender neutral terms i feel dysphoric because sometimes i don’t feel gender neutral.

but i feel uncomfortable hounding anyone about my gender identity (and it’s shifts (and because i mainly have a white cishet christian conservative community and i’d rather not be publicly outed and shamed)) so i just sit through the dysphoria.

i just hate not knowing, i hate it fluctuating and i hate not having a solid feeling about my gender. i look at other lgbtq people in the community who seem like they have it all figured out—hell i look at other genderfluid people who also look like they have it all figured out too—but i don’t.

there’s not much i can do, and i know people will say (as they always have) that it’s a phase—which is like

1) life is all a bunch of phases

2) what do i do when my phases constantly change and have been changing most of my life?

i don’t expect to be accommodated 24/7 about this—trust me it’d be nice but i understand there are people in need who’s priorities are higher in which i want them to be accommodated first before anyone else.

i just dream of the day i have a small close knit group of other people who not only relate but are able to help validate me through my identity.

this might also be a relevant time to wonder if i may have autism or adhd. not saying that i have either

(although i’ve been getting close to self diagnosed and i’ve been wanting a screening for awhile)

or that having either is in any way inherent connected to my feelings in general—but i have a hunch,, suspicion,, dare i say hope? to maybe explain it all to me?

sorry if i don’t make sense this is just me rambling :>

“It’s not that serious, it’s for kids! Why does it matter??!!”

Because it’s SLOP, we’re showing our kids SLOP 😭😭😭

and thats them all !! i just ss my favs but once my ipad gets running again expect some sort of art LOL

saw on the idea on pinterest by b3y0nd_Earth to use the random headcanon generator and draw the headcanon.

naturally i did it w/ south park characters (mainly kyle n eric cuz i love them 😭😭) so i’m photodumping the pics here so they don’t get buried under all my other pics (while i wait for my ipad to charge)

i can only do ten since im on mobile so i reblog the rest !!

i still have more >_>

saw on the idea on pinterest by b3y0nd_Earth to use the random headcanon generator and draw the headcanon.

naturally i did it w/ south park characters (mainly kyle n eric cuz i love them 😭😭) so i’m photodumping the pics here so they don’t get buried under all my other pics (while i wait for my ipad to charge)

i can only do ten since im on mobile so i reblog the rest !!

saw on the idea on pinterest by b3y0nd_Earth to use the random headcanon generator and draw the headcanon.

naturally i did it w/ south park characters (mainly kyle n eric cuz i love them 😭😭) so i’m photodumping the pics here so they don’t get buried under all my other pics (while i wait for my ipad to charge)

i can only do ten since im on mobile so i reblog the rest !!

highly down i’ll have any voters on this but by next week i’ll force myself to decide

dunno if i should make this blog my politics blog and move all my hyperfixations over to a separate blog, make this blog my hyperfixation blog and move all my politics to a separate blog, if i should abandon this blog and create two separate blogs for each, if i should abandon all my politics and only have this blog be my hyperfixations, or if i should abandon all my hyperfixations and only have this blog be my politics, or if i should keep the system i have, even though i like keeping everything separate and organized LOL.

dunno if i should make this blog my politics blog and move all my hyperfixations over to a separate blog, make this blog my hyperfixation blog and move all my politics to a separate blog, if i should abandon this blog and create two separate blogs for each, if i should abandon all my politics and only have this blog be my hyperfixations, or if i should abandon all my hyperfixations and only have this blog be my politics, or if i should keep the system i have, even though i like keeping everything separate and organized LOL.

the cis lesbian to trans gay man pipeline is hitting hard rn

i miss my old school sometimes, like yeah the people were toxic and i wasn’t happy but like, i had so many queer, atheist, feminist, ect friends that gave me a community. esp since most people there were POC. now im stuck at a mainly white school with cishet misogynistic Christians. i feel so isolated 💔

“Top ten canon events: that one trio” *my ears start ringing as I grab tightly onto my chest* slow down brother i need a moment

the hypersexual kid/preteen to sex repulsed teen pipeline gnaws at me daily

woke up from a nightmare where my ex was a terf, i’m still a little shaken because of its likelihood 💔

btw saying “Amazing art, wasted talent 💔” on fanart of either a ship/character you don’t like is a backhanded compliment and disrespectful.

No it’s not the end of the world, but it’s disrespectful, don’t be surprised to be called out about it.

growing up as the “weird kid” does alot to you as you get older. one of those things is taking away any cisness in your body.