Curate, connect, and discover
I'm not leaving to spite you.
I Leaving for the benefit of MY mental health.
Why does everything I do count as ignoring you when you hate Me?
You agreed with him, but neither of you want to hear me out.
Stop thinking this is about you, it's distracting you from people you like.
What am I supposed to do...
I'm terrified of getting better.
The idea of focusing on myself scares me.
I'm trying so hard to get better but I'm making myself worse.
But fuck it, I'll comfort you.
Even though you're forcing yourself to pretend you like me as though you owe me something for crying while my mom called the cops that night.
Even if I'll never be able to forgive myself for being so fucking selfish.
How dare my mother take me out of school because it's been negatively affecting me and the only reason I even went was to see my friends.
Friends.
The people that hate me.
The people that couldn't care less.
The people that wish I were dead.
Fuck it.
I'll comfort you.
When no else bothers to think about how fucking guilty I feel for even fucking breathing, fuck it.
Fine.
It's not your fault.
You're not alone.
You're not selfish.
I don't hate you.
I thought...
Nevermind.
You deserve to live.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve good friends.
You don't deserve to have me hanging around and overstating my brief welcome.
I'm sorry for manipulating you into being my friend. God, I'm so sorry.
I want you to forget about me.
I want you to stay with people who help you.
I want you to stop wasting time on me.
I'm a hopeless bitch.
I'm a waste of time.
So stop it.
Please
I'm so sorry.
I should never have been so fucking selfish.
Because I'm not special.
And things won't get better for me.
I deserve the shit they throw.
I deserve to be isolated.
I deserve for them to hate me.
To wish I were dead.
Can't say I blame them.
You can get better.
And I hope you do.
I'm sorry.