I'm Not Ignoring You, Please Know That.

I finally downloaded a drawing app! Sadly I forgot to have the picture of my drawing as a seperate layer so I had to scrap this one and restart, but still! Medi-bang seems to be a pretty good app for drawing so far! I don't think I'll get too much into digital art but I call still try my hand at it!

I got my diagnosis.

ODD(Oppositional Defiant)

OCD(Obsessive Complulsive)

ADHD/ADD(Attention Deficit)

GAD(General Anxiety)

SSAD(Severe Social Anxiety)

How many things can one person be, and still need further testing?

I'm feeling too disorderly.

Way does functional have to be normal?

I missed. His funeral.

Fuck.

I missed the entire service because my nephew was being loud/giggly/fussy and I offered to walk around the church lobby and outside for a bit to see if he's calm down.

He didn't.

I missed the entire. Fucking. Service.

I was actually relieved at first but then almost immediately get super pissed about it, because this is someone that I was friends with when I was like 3-9 years old and he killed himself and I MISSED HIS GODAMN FUNERAL.

What the fuck am I supposed to do except be fucking pissy???

Long story short: I'm being a bitch because I didn't do something that I didn't even want to do.

One of our girl bunnies gave birth to at least 10 babies saturday before last, 2 were already dead when we found them.

4 were gray and tan and the other 4 were completely black.

Only 4 survived until tuesday of the following week. The 4 black ones. One died one sunday, and three on monday.

Tuesday -the day I got punished for drawing a picture- there were still alive.

Two more died -one a day- before I took the remaining two away from their mother.

She had been letting them die and them eating them.

I took care of those last two since then.

One of them was sick and died this monday.

The last one died this morning.

I had been keeping it (I kept both of them in it) in a small box -made nest with a giant sweater and a heated sock full of rice.

Last night/this morning it somehow got out and got into the dog cage.

We have three, small, very old, blind, and mostly deaf dogs.

One of which fucking loves puppies/anything reassembling puppies.

The last baby was loved to death. And with the description my mom, who found it, gave me... It's a horrible way to die.

I don't know why I'm not upset.

I don't know why I'm posting this.

One day I will go through all my posts and correctly tag them. BUT that day isn't for a few more months sooo

This post claims to have 1 note but I'm pretty sure me posting it doesn't count. 🙃🐢🙃🐢

Encyclopedias

Of random/oddly specific topics: do they exist and where can I get them. Seriously, I want.

I want encyclopedias/books of/about:

-plants (specifically succulents, cacti, and sunflowers)

-animals (rabbits, cats, frogs, turtles, sheep, goats, snakes, and bees)

-clothes/fashion/trends (fuck me up with that character design material)

-art (just a fucking book about art history and shit because I fucking want one)

I just- I have some things I wanna learn about and they happen to be very strange and specific, ok.

I suddenly wanted to do a digital art so of course I went with my -currently- most prominent one, Alli! I don't know why the he'll I made her headband so fucking weird and girly. Digital art is really weird so everything just looked totally different then how it would on paper and it BOTHERS ME SO MUCH

So I'm drawing a thing...

Went to Target: saw two different pretty girls with dyed red hair and ranted about how I wanted to tell them they're pretty but was too nervous, saw 4 other pretty girls and did the same thing, our cashier was a pretty girl with black hair and facial piercings and my nephew smiled at her to I remarked on him whilst referring to her as a pretty girl and ranted about how I hope she noticed as we left.

Then I went to Gamestop where I saw more pretty girls and talked about pretty girls and Pokemon.

Moral: I was super gay today.

Tried to make a sunset themed beanie...

At least it looked good while on the loom.