Buttons Stop - Blog Posts

I'm sick of this.

I am so fucking

Tired

Of feeling full of

Wires

I am so fucking

Sick

Of being filled with a fog so

Thick

That I can't think or

Breathe

And I am so fucking done

Of not feeling like

Enough

Not girly enough

Not boyish enough

Not happy enough

Not depressed enough

Not nervous enough

Not calm enough

Not formal enough

Not casual enough

Not warm enough

Not shy enough

Not

Fucking

Enough

I am

So

Fucking

Sick-

Tired-

Done.

Because this isn't enough.

Ugghhh

Aaaaaaaah, I used up 4 pages of my journal last next while feeling shitty.

Regrrrrreeeeeettt thaaaaaaat sooooo muuuuuccchhhhh, uggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Whatever,, though, because scribbling mimicked scratching, so I did that instead, scribbling, I mean.

Some goodish pictures of a v handsome boi, whom I love💕

I love him,,,,,,,,,,,,sm💕 Like,,,,,,he's just so beautiful and I love

I started watching My Love Story and Damn am I gay for Yamato-san

She is so fucking cute and she /bakes/.

Like holy shit, she's so cute, I want her and Takeo-kun to get married and be happy forever because they deserve it, goddamn it!

Just kidding, the first session of teen group is tomorrow and I wanna make some friendos

Hey, my migraine is finally calming it’s tits!

TIME TO BLARE SOME FUCKING TUNES👍👍

Hey, my migraine is finally calming it's tits!

TIME TO BLARE SOME FUCKING TUNES👍👍

The snakey boi is now named Allistar and I love him.

Thanks to @brozkiie for the A++ name! Ily!

It's 6 am, I am not tired, but I have not slept.

What can I say?

I can be hella gay.

I suddenly remembered that Kill la Kill is a thing and i...

I started being rly gay and ranting about how hot the girls in it are.

But like, I'm not wrong, Ryuko is fucking hot.

WHAT THE FUCK, RAINBOW! THE FUCK DO YOU FUCKING MEAN "THIS WILL END IN FLAMES???" BITCH LIKE THE FUCK IT WILL, YOURE NOT HURTING MY BOYS! DONT YOU FUCKING TOUCH THEM!

I have some... feelings about the Carry on sequel that I have to wait two years for.

Atlas(my cat): *does something; (ex:headbutting, licking my ear, rubbing his his cheek on my face and hands)*

Me: *goolges what that behavior means*

Google: katt luv u!!!

Me, cuddling, scratching, petting and overall showing affection: omg!!!!! He like me!!!!!!!

I suddenly wanted to do a digital art so of course I went with my -currently- most prominent one, Alli! I don't know why the he'll I made her headband so fucking weird and girly. Digital art is really weird so everything just looked totally different then how it would on paper and it BOTHERS ME SO MUCH

You know those paint chip thingys?

I want them.

I want to collect as many as I can for no reason!

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be cutting back on my collections but... I've always wanted to collect those and there is nothing actually stopping me!!!

I, uhhh... my go to vent/doodle/thought is this same goddamn window.... I've drawn it way more than this but these are all the drawings I found while looking through my most current big sketchbook. Also pictured is a sad cactus🌵

Me: *finds a thing that i like that isnt problamatic unless taking out of context and given malicious intent through biased descriptions*

Person: *does that*

Me brain: you are no longer allowed to like this thing because if you do then you're a terrible person and your inevitable murder is justified because you'd deserve it.

Me: ... ok..

At home and at my sister's apartment, I never have any style🌻🐢🕶 I got these sunglasses at target

Me: hmmm, I have too many OCs, I should do something to fix that. Me, 10 seconds later: *makes new OC*

Simon has had to deal with fucking idiots his entire life, beginning with his weird-ass brother, Ichobod, and now with his dumbass co-worker, Daisy. His suffering never ends. Do I have too many OCs? YES, definitely. Shit. I just realized that my OCs are another collection. Fuck! Also that second drawing looks like shit but I’m too lazy to redraw it.

Shrek: the best goddamn story ever.

Just reached Shrek: the musical on Netflix and it was just as amazing as when I watched it the first time.

Outside of memes and the general internet, Shrek is and always will be an incredible, beautiful story with an equally cheesy set of morals to be learned from it.

I just really like Shrek, ok. It's a great movie and I love it.

This post claims to have 1 note but I'm pretty sure me posting it doesn't count. 🙃🐢🙃🐢

Encyclopedias

Of random/oddly specific topics: do they exist and where can I get them. Seriously, I want.

I want encyclopedias/books of/about:

-plants (specifically succulents, cacti, and sunflowers)

-animals (rabbits, cats, frogs, turtles, sheep, goats, snakes, and bees)

-clothes/fashion/trends (fuck me up with that character design material)

-art (just a fucking book about art history and shit because I fucking want one)

I just- I have some things I wanna learn about and they happen to be very strange and specific, ok.

Friend: *kills hinself*

My fucking, shit-brain: death? You like death?? You want some dreams of death??? Have some nightmares of people being mauled or run over! Have nightmares of your past friends and old teachers chasing you while tying to kill you!! Have a nightmare of your mom planing to kill you!!!

You LOVE death right?

Me: I'd rather die from exhaustion then sleep.

Brain: not good enough? Wanna imagine your nephew being murdering by someone gouging his eyes out?? Wanna imagine him falling down some stairs and smashing his head open??? I can do that! I'll even make you think about him being kidnapped!! Or maybe even just him suffocating in his sleep!!!

DONT YOU JUST L O V E DEATH???

Encyclopedias

Of random/oddly specific topics: do they exist and where can I get them. Seriously, I want.

I want encyclopedias/books of/about:

-plants (specifically succulents, cacti, and sunflowers)

-animals (rabbits, cats, frogs, turtles, sheep, goats, snakes, and bees)

-clothes/fashion/trends (fuck me up with that character design material)

-art (just a fucking book about art history and shit because I fucking want one)

I just- I have some things I wanna learn about and they happen to be very strange and specific, ok.

I missed. His funeral.

Fuck.

I missed the entire service because my nephew was being loud/giggly/fussy and I offered to walk around the church lobby and outside for a bit to see if he's calm down.

He didn't.

I missed the entire. Fucking. Service.

I was actually relieved at first but then almost immediately get super pissed about it, because this is someone that I was friends with when I was like 3-9 years old and he killed himself and I MISSED HIS GODAMN FUNERAL.

What the fuck am I supposed to do except be fucking pissy???

Long story short: I'm being a bitch because I didn't do something that I didn't even want to do.

Went to the creek near my house and these flowers have sprouted up everywhere. Feel free to use for whatever I guess, i don't really give a crap either way.

When your friend kills himself and you cheer yourself up by drawing a lesbian and her nonbinary crush. I'm so good at coping. Anyways, these are my OCs. The girl doesn't have a name yet, she's an alien and she's either related to a rabbit god that lives on the moon or just really likes bunnies, either way. The other one is Sammie, a living scarecrow of sorts, I guess. They're a farmer that really likes pumpkins and doesn't understand affection/romance at all.

Fucking Easter, my dudes

My dad hid some eggs with money in them along with a ton of empty ones.

Long story short: only 17 had money and I now have 11 dollars.

I had an asthma attack partway through searching, though.

Why did I make this as a post...???

Oh shit I have therapy today!

Ps: friend(you know who you are) if you ever want to hang out feel free to just text me!

I'd love to hang out sometime and I don't have anything else to do, anyways, so you don't need to worry that I might be busy! I love you!

One of our girl bunnies gave birth to at least 10 babies saturday before last, 2 were already dead when we found them.

4 were gray and tan and the other 4 were completely black.

Only 4 survived until tuesday of the following week. The 4 black ones. One died one sunday, and three on monday.

Tuesday -the day I got punished for drawing a picture- there were still alive.

Two more died -one a day- before I took the remaining two away from their mother.

She had been letting them die and them eating them.

I took care of those last two since then.

One of them was sick and died this monday.

The last one died this morning.

I had been keeping it (I kept both of them in it) in a small box -made nest with a giant sweater and a heated sock full of rice.

Last night/this morning it somehow got out and got into the dog cage.

We have three, small, very old, blind, and mostly deaf dogs.

One of which fucking loves puppies/anything reassembling puppies.

The last baby was loved to death. And with the description my mom, who found it, gave me... It's a horrible way to die.

I don't know why I'm not upset.

I don't know why I'm posting this.

This is the drawing that I did yesterday. Can someone explain how this is a threat to the school? No, really. Fucking tell me. Anyways, it's based off of The Balled of Sara Berry from 35mm:a musical exhibition. I suggest giving it a listen! But only if your ok with mentions of insanity, murder, and death!!! And only if!!!!!!