Eren Yaeger Aot - Blog Posts

Close As Strangers

synopsis; he's been gone awhile, are things really still the same? (eren jeager x fem!reader) wc; 1,630

cw; angst, open ending but implied to be happy, modern college au, based on the titular song by 5sos, allusions to cheating but no actual cheating takes place, mentions of daily medication (reader has anxiety and adhd), mentions of drugs and alcohol, armin being the goat, mikasa is not a girl's girl, eren being down bad for his girl, no dialogue

a/n; i hit shuffle on my playlist then chose a random character that i thought would fit, have this and enjoy.

six weeks since i’ve been away,

and now you’re saying everything has changed.

and i’m afraid that i might be losing you.

eren left to study abroad six weeks ago, and while that isn’t long, things between you two already feel different. he answers your calls and texts less than usual, and you know that timezones exist, but the difference is only a few hours.

armin and marco try to comfort and assure you that there’s nothing to worry about, that eren’s just busy with the classes and the workload. it eases your mind for at least a few hours before the anxiety is back in full force and you begin to overthink again, especially since mikasa is also responding to the group less and less.

and every night that we spend alone,

it kills me thinking of you on your own.

and i wish i was back home next to you.

he doesn’t even know why he came to this party. the room around eren is hazy, smoke filters in the air as people take hits of the different items being passed around. vapes, pens, bongs, and pipes, eren has seen at least four different joints being shared. music plays loudly throughout the place, he lost track of mikasa the moment they stepped foot into the house. something about going to get a drink was whispered against his ear, his mind too focused on you back home.

he only took this trip because his dad had insisted, something about ‘being good for the soul to travel while you’re young’. eren didn’t care, he wanted to travel with you, and yet you were so far away. he had tried to get you to come with, your parents disapproval kept you from agreeing. his heart aches as he imagines you alone in bed right now, and he wants nothing more than to be laying next to you.

oh, everyday,

you feel a little bit further away.

and i don’t know what to say.

it’s been two months now, eren texts and calls every chance he gets. ever since the night of the party he can feel you growing more and more distant. he knows it’s because of what happened at the party, mikasa got too drunk and confessed that she was in love with him. he had immediately told you about it the next morning, and while he reassured you that he loves you and swore that nothing happened, your anxiety had you wound so tight that you skipped two days of class, to stress clean the entire apartment you shared with him and armin from top to bottom.

you stopped sending him good morning and good night texts, you’d barely give him updates throughout the day too. he has to rely on armin and the others to make sure you’re taking your meds. he doesn’t know what to say to help you feel better. it’d be easier if he was with you.

are we wasting time,

talking on a broken line?

telling you i haven’t seen your face in ages,

i feel like we’re as close as strangers.

your phone calls get shorter and shorter every time, eren can’t remember the last time you facetimed him to fall asleep. he hasn’t seen your face in so long and armin, bless him, tries to send eren pictures of you, but you’ve become less and less photogenic.

the last picture armin sent eren, made his breath hitch, and not in a good way. you looked as awful as he felt, your skin wasn’t the normal shade it always was, and he could tell you weren’t sleeping well. the circles and bags under your eyes told him, and armin confirmed it. eren knew it himself though, when he saw there was no life in your eyes. normally such a vivid and prominent color, they now looked dull and lifeless. if he was being honest, you looked like a stranger to him, and he felt like it too.

won’t give up,

even though it hurts so much.

every night i’m losing you in a thousand faces,

now it feels we’re as close as strangers.

you opened up to eren about how you were feeling around the two and a half month mark. you had called him on a friday night, the first you both had free in a while. the moment he answered you broke down crying about how you missed him and wanted him home. he sat with you on the phone, listening to you cry and get it off your chest before speaking up.

he told you that he loves you and that he’s not going to give up even if the distance is hurting both of you. he promised he’d be home as soon as he could, just a little bit longer. once you had calmed down, you began talking about other things. he tells you that he meets tons of new people everyday, and that the first thing he does when meeting somebody new, is tell them about you and how you’re waiting for him back at home. not being there with him makes you feel like a stranger.

late night calls and another text,

is this as good as we’re gonna get?

another timezone taking me away from you.

it’s been four months since eren left, you call late at night, later than you should be calling. and texts are scattered throughout the day when either of you have time, being left on read or delivered more often than not. things are as good as they’re going to get since you’re both so much busier now.

it’s hard to do much of anything with eren being hours ahead of you in a different timezone, it feels like he’s being taken away from you. he’s busy with classes or an activity by the time you wake up, and sleeping before you even get home.

living dreams in fluorescent lights,

while you and i are running out of time.

but you know that i’ll always wait for you.

your twenty-first birthday had fallen on a saturday, your friends had dragged you out to a club the night before. the loud music and flashing lights provided a good distraction for your anxious mind. the alcohol jean and reiner bought, along with the weed connie brought, had calmed your nerves enough for you to have fun and let loose for a while.

the next morning you woke up to a phone call from eren, wishing you a happy birthday. you talked for a bit but, eren could tell that your time on the phone was running out before you’d have to get ready to spend the day with your family. just before you hung up, he said that he’d wait for you to come home that night so you could facetime each other. he stayed true to his word and facetimed you as soon as you texted him that you were home. you fell asleep on the phone together that night.

on the phone,

i can tell that you wanna move on.

through the tears,

i can hear that i shouldn’t have gone.

every day gets harder to stay away from you.

four and a half months since eren left, you last spoke to him two weeks ago. it was a long phone call, one that had a lot of doubts and insecurities that led into an argument. he missed you just as much, but he could tell this was hurting you. at one point he asked if you wanted to break up, the question only made you cry harder.

you didn’t want to break up, you just wanted him home, and you had told him as such. he could hear the desperation in your voice and regretted ever leaving in the first place, he knew he shouldn’t have gone. it was getting harder to stay away and not go home to you. but soon he promised, just a little longer and he’d be home.

six months since i went away,

and i know everything has changed.

but tomorrow i’ll be coming back to you.

the day marks six months since eren left, the semester has ended and you’ve grown numb to him being gone. there’s a distance between you two, things have changed and everybody in the group can tell. they’re worried what it might mean for when eren comes home, truthfully you’re scared that things will end when he gets back. you love him and don’t want to lose him.

your last phone call was a couple days ago and he told you that he’d been home soon since the semester was over, he just wasn’t exactly sure when that’d be. you’re at lunch with the girls when your phone pings with a message from eren.

1 message from;

rennie 💚🗝️

i’m coming home tomorrow.

his shared location says he’s at the airport and you don’t even realize you’re crying until historia asks what’s wrong. sasha and the others eye you cautiously, worried that something happened. you tell them what eren said and they all smile brightly. ymir rolls her eyes and calls you dramatic, annie smiles and tells you she’s glad that you’re happy again. you message him back before finishing lunch with the girls.

to;

rennie 💚🗝️

can’t wait! i love you ❤️

it had been a long six months, but your boyfriend was finally coming home to you and you couldn’t wait to see him. even if you guys felt as close as strangers right now, you knew it wouldn’t be long before things were back to normal.

from;

rennie 💚🗝️

i love you too ❤️

and if there was one thing that eren learned from this experience, it was that he would never ever leave you again.

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