Especially When It Conflicts With The Two Of You And Might Just End Up Hindering You? - Blog Posts

Op I'm so sorry I rambled in your tags and reached the tag limit uhh yeah don't read all that--

i think my pea sized brain finally understood ugetsu and aki’s relationship. akihiko before meeting ugetsu was a person who was confident in his music ( classical ) but when he met ugetsu , the immense talent that he had , made him feel inferior and he began to doubt his own abilities but at the same time he fell for ugetsu , he thought if he could carry the burden ugetsu had been shouldered upon he could be with him , have him , for himself and that way not only would he be connected to music but also be with ugetsu . around this point of time they became emotionally attached to each other to the point where ugetsu became someone irreplaceable to aki ( remember akihiko’s parents divorced and he had no place to go and ugetsu’s offer to stay with him was like a manna thrown upon aki in a desert ; ugetsu became his ultimate refugee , his home ) .

the relationship also could have been simple but no . it was now ugetsu’s turn to realise that he was being way too dependent on aki , which he started to repel , because for him music was everything , as a deeply sensitive and insecure person who was unable to express himself music was his only way to let out his loneliness but he realised how much he and akihiko being together was suffocating , cause he felt he was pulling aki down and because he loved akihiko sm he wanted him to free of this bond , ( and something i realized after sm over analysis ugetsu clearly draws line between him and other people not because he’s a genius and had superiority complex but because some people just don’t like ppl crossing that inner boundary of theirs , invading them , the part they never want anyone to know or see and akihiko was slowly starting to invade him - his deepest parts ) where the two of them can be free , and hence came those bitter words “ let’s break up ” .

when you love someone sm that your entire world revolves around them and one day they suddenly tell you to break off it’s like your world suddenly stops spinning . it’s like banging on the door of an empty room ; like ripping off an old bandage that you never cared to open and digging on the scar . the relationship only gets more complicated from here on when they start fooling around with other people , ugetsu clearly wanting to cut off from akihiko starts having flings asking aki on purpose to not come because he has someone new and it’s a sign to go already ! which agitates akihiko a lot , someone whom you thought had accepted you and had wanted you for who you were doesn’t want you anymore , aki feels helplessly rejected and used by ugetsu , he starts to think that he was the only one who was emotionally invested in this relationship and that is why he refers to his first love as unrequited and one sided. having no place to stay and considering how aki didn’t stay in touch with his parents he starts doing odd jobs , doing unimaginable things ( flings with money ? ) and most of all the only way he thought he could ever even make ugetsu be disappointed was by switching the genre of his music , he starts playing drums making it seem like ’ if you’re moving on so will i ’ .

bUT the relationship gets more and more complicated oof it’s like playing snakes and ladder , you keep rolling the dice and you’re close to the finish and poof you get bitten and you’re back to square one , it becomes a loop from here on not letting go of each other and haruki comes into play somewhere here ( and because this is solely only about akigetsu , not gonna elaborate all that much on akiharu) . when aki realizes how much he loves being with haruki because not only does he begins to enjoy music he starts to think better of himself and wants better of himself too and after the horrendous mistake he inflicted upon haruki he wants to be a person who deserves him , worthy of his love and when he confronts to ugetsu about this, ugetsu gets irritated by how how akihiko wants to abandon their relationship but nevertheless at last mafuyu’s music serves as an ointment on a wound , it provides warmth to the frozen and cold telling it’s okay , okay to let go , okay to move on being hurt or having found someone . IT’S OKAY™ .