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Bruce, high on pain meds: i need to- you all have to listen. you deserve to know. You’re all old enough now.
Dick: this is gonna be good
Tim, grinning: what do we need to know?
Bruce: one of you is adopted,
The kids:
Bruce, tearing up: and im SO sorry, but i just- i can’t remember who-!
Jason, gleefully: I’LL REMIND YOU- *mouth covered by Dick*
Bruce: *sobs and then passes out*
The kids:
Jason, shoving Dick off him: GET- off me! wake him up we have to tell him it’s Damian
Damian: ME!?
Jason, looking for somebody else to fuck with now Bruce is down: you look the least like him- I mean come on, those twig arms,
Jason, pointing at a passed out Bruce: you are NOT the father.
Steph: *chokes on a wheeze*
Damian, incredulous: are you- DUKES BLACK
Duke: what and you’re white? don’t fucking start this shit kid
Damian, drawing his katana: i will not have my inheritence questioned like this-
Duke, warningly: *starts glowing*
Jason: *starts filming*
Dick: oh god… Bruce is gonna wake up to Damian in the hospital. what are we gonna tell him?
Tim, eating popcorn: i dunno about you but i’m gonna tell him he got high and started a race war to see how much he panics.
in the background, Duke: *shoots Damian into the side of the wall*
Damian: *leaps back with a war cry*
Jason, looking at his phone: oh you think telling him is gonna make him panic? i’m saying it on twitter and letting him find out through WE getting boycotted
Dick:
Dick: arguably worse than trying to make him kill the joker but ok
Tim: now hold up man i work there too-