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Feat. Joyce - Blog Posts
Cole didn’t know why Joyce had called him and invited him over for dinner. Instantly, he was afraid he would be reproached for telling Jonathan and Will his news... though, Joyce had told him he could. Maybe she’d changed her mind, or maybe it had gotten back to her that he’d been in varying states of intoxication when he delivered the news. Still, he felt he owed it to her-- for her kindness-- to show up on time, in a clean shirt, with a small bouquet he’d picked up at Melvald’s. He’d had a drink or two earlier in the day, to soothe his nerves, but by the time he was walking up the all-too-familiar porch, its effects were wearing thin.
Pasting a smile on his face, Cole knocked twice. She opened the door in record speed, and held out her arms for him. Cole obliged, giving her a loose hug, and then held out the arrangement of baby’s breath and peonies he’d picked up, like a peace offering. “Hi, thanks for having me--” he hesitated, unsure what to call her. Mrs. Byers felt too formal, Joyce felt too casual. “I’m doing a lot better,” Cole said, shaking his now cast-free arm. “Jonathan’s out. How is he?” Cole had seen him-- spoken to him, at The Hideaway the other day-- but they hadn’t exactly broached the topic of Jonathan’s physical health.
who: joyce && @loverboymontgomery what: momma joyce checking up on those she loves - her next victim being cole. where: the byers house
things might have been a little rough for joyce lately — between bob returning, all of the stuff that happened on the 4th of july and the chaos that was work and the simple stress that came along with having a job, the one little constant in her life was her kids. biological and not. of course she had made it a point to invite cole over, food prepared and everything - he was just as much her kid as the rest of jonathan, will and eleven’s friends were. and his existence itself hit too close to home for her for obvious reasons. she meant what she said that moment she found out about cole and his relation to her children - he always had her. they were family.
door opens with a smile on her face, arms extending out for the boy with a warm smile. “how you doing, honey?”
joycefm:
lonnie byers had been everything that joyce had been looking for as a teenager - the pair got along and had for years, he was the bad boy.. the guy that all the girls wanted. and he had picked joyce of all people. they had something special in the beginning and then things started to crumble pretty quickly. whilst joyce loved her little family and loved being a mother, lonnie didn’t seem to enjoy his role so much. “i’m sorry i put my kids through dealing with him.” that was truly her only regret. "i should have kicked him out sooner. he wasn’t good for anybody.” she couldn’t really describe how happy she was that cole didn’t have to experience that. the less? the better.
hand reaches up to touch his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. she didn’t know why he was crying either - but she did understand it to an extent. he was clearly worried about what she might think. “you’ve always got us, cole.” and she meant it to. he might not have been related to her.. but he was family. he would always be family now. “i mean it. come here whenever you need it.“
and yet, a small smile crosses over her lips at his words, amused that he was panicking ever so slightly. “you don’t need to ask for permission.” head shakes. “they deserve to hear it from you.” they knew that their father was an asshole. joyce sounded like a broken record ranting about lonnie at times. “so whenever you’re ready - whenever you want. i’ll leave that all up to you. they’re good kids, i don’t think it’ll take them long to get used to it.” or believe it, for that matter.
If Cole knew one thing about the Byers family, it was that Joyce’s boys adored her. And for good reason, obviously. Admittedly he didn’t know much about marriage and even less about raising kids with someone, but he did know that Lonnie being an asshole wasn’t Joyce’s fault as much as it wasn’t Maggie’s. “I don’t think they’d want you to be so hard on yourself,” Cole offered, gently.
With watery eyes, he smiled at her shoulder squeeze. It was weird, how familiar and comforting she felt to him. “Thank you,” he repeated. “And, for what it’s worth, um... same here.” He wasn’t sure exactly what he could offer to their familial unit-- maybe a discount at The Music Center-- but he wanted to contribute if he could. “I mean, they don’t really need another brother, but whatever I can do, you know.”
He smiled, nodding as Joyce spoke. He knew they would be cool about it, but he also worried about like... ruining whatever view of their dad Will and Jonathan had. But, he trusted Joyce. “Okay... yeah. Thank you.” He knew he should stop thanking her, but he really was so relieved to have it out in the open. “I’ll tell them,” he confirmed, growing confident as he got used to the idea. “I’m glad you’re okay with it,” he admitted, sheepishly. “I always wanted a big family.”
joycefm:
hand freezes on the refrigerator handle at cole’s words. again, she’s not surprised at all. lonnie had always tested joyce’s trust - she wasn’t stupid nor was she blind. she saw how people looked at him in high school and she chose to ignore it.. simply because she thought she was head over heels in love. and well… she definitely was at the time. there was a lot of love there at one point but the idea of happily ever after with lonnie didn’t last long when she started catching him out on lies, multiple fights.. she could go on and on. “i mean..” she started, a small shrugging following as she moved back towards cole to take a seat next to the other. “i thought there’d be more of you, honestly.” there probably was. joyce knew well that lonnie was up to no good — it was more surprising to her that lonnie had been cheating on her way before she picked up on it.
“it’s fine, cole. you’re fine.” it wasn’t like you could chose your parents - lonnie byers certainly shouldn’t have been anyone’s first choice. “he sucks even more for not being in your life.. you’re a good kid.” it just reminded her of will - it wasn’t like lonnie was around much for him either. not to mention the name calling and the fights that came along with all that. “either way.. i’m not surprised at all and i promise you that you aren’t missing out on anything with him.” hand reaches out towards his shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “but that also means you’re family now.” joyce smiles wide, looking for the positive in the whole situation. “have you told jonathan and will?”
Cole kept his eyes trained on Joyce, watching her hand freeze and looking for any indication of what was going on in her head. He’d imagined this moment dozens of time in the last hour, many more in the last five years. He knew he couldn’t expect her to welcome him with open arms; even if she didn’t love Lonnie anymore, Cole’s existence was evidence that Lonnie had been running out on her for a long time. That was enough of a reason to resent someone, in Cole’s mind. When she finally spoke, Cole let out an involuntary sigh of relief. If it weren’t so fucked up, Cole would’ve laughed at her comment-- I thought there’d be more of you. What a fucking asshole. “I know it wasn’t me, but... for what it’s worth, I’m sorry he was such an ass. Sorry that you all had to deal with him.”
And then, Joyce offered the thing Cole hadn’t dared ask for: acceptance, permission to exist without guilt. He felt pressure behind his eyes and tried to blink it away; he so desperately didn’t want to make this a thing. “Thank you,” he breathed, glistening eyes meeting yours. Cole laughed at himself, swiping at his face, “I don’t know why I’m crying.” But he knew; he had never, in a million years, expected that he’d be welcomed into a family that, for all intents and purposes, wasn’t his. Should have never been his. He never even thought that anyone other than his mother would consider him family or look out for him, and in one single moment he was offered an entire family unit.
Joyce’s remark shook Cole out of his thoughts. He nodded, readily agreeing that he wasn’t missing out on dad of the year. Eyes dropping to his hands, Cole shook his head. Then, lifting his gaze to meet Joyce’s eyes, he explained: “No.. I wanted to make sure you knew first. And, I guess, ask for your permission?” That sounded weird. “Like... if you didn’t want me to tell them, I don’t have to,” he shrugged. Cole didn’t want to give more detail if he didn’t have to; he knew he had a certain reputation around town, not a bad one, but one that everyone wouldn’t appreciate... and he wasn’t sure how Joyce would feel if he got close to Will and Jonathan and started bringing his ‘best friend’ around. But that felt like a conversation for another day; there was no need to spill every one of his secrets today.
joycefm:
“cole!!” a smile rests on her face as she greets the other, hiding anything that resembled surprise. she definitely hadn’t been expecting the other but there had always been something about cole that felt so familiar. maybe because they simply fit into hawkins so well - or because he simply got along with her boys so well.. she wasn’t exactly sure. but she extended her kindness to everyone across town unless they gave her reason not to.
brows raise at his words but yet she doesn’t hesitate to open her door further, welcoming him in. “i have all the time in the world - i bought some fresh fruit so come on in.” she’s already moving to grab the other a bowl, placing it on the kitchen table and moving immediately to the refrigerator to grab some grapes. "talk to me - what’s on your mind?”
If Joyce was surprised, she certainly didn’t show it, which put Cole at ease. He supposed she was relatively used to all the youth of Hawkins showing up unannounced, but for Cole this was a first. Following Joyce to the kitchen, Cole tapped his fingers nervously on his legs. He smiled at her as she handed him a bowl and plopped grapes into it. “Thank you, you didn’t have to,” he said, though he bit down on a grape.
What’s on your mind?
A lot, actually, but in the moment Cole was focused on his timing. Was this the right time? Was there ever a right time to say what he was going to say? He decided to just be honest. Five years late, maybe, but nonetheless. “I don’t really have like... a tactful way to say this?” Cole explained, with an apologetic smile. “Lonnie Byers was my dad. Or, is. But we don’t talk or anything. I’ve never met him.” Realizing that his sentences were running into each other, Cole took a breath, popped another grape into his mouth. “Um. My mom... Maggie, you might know her from school... she told me a few years back and I just didn’t know if I wanted to say anything? I don’t want to complicate your life, or Will’s or Jonathan’s, but...” He didn’t know how exactly to express what he’d been feeling for his whole life: the desire for a family, to come home to a house teeming with life, to not be so... alone in the world.
who: cole & @joycefm
where: the byers residence
I know the timing isn’t great, but I just wanted to let you know... No. I just wanted to run this by you... Still no. I hope Will’s okay and also I’m his half brother.
The entire ride to the Byers house, Cole tried to rehearse his opening line. So far, nothing inspiring had come to mind. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous; Joyce had always been kind and everyone in town knew how much he loved her boys. But, Cole wasn’t sure how she’d feel about her ex-husband having another one... who happened to be very close in age to her oldest.
To Cole’s credit, he hadn’t grown up around Lonnie; Maggie was convinced Lonnie didn’t even connect the dots and realize that Cole was his. Fitting. Cole never felt like he was missing out on much, and after his mom told him who his real dad was when he was sixteen, Cole knew for sure he was better off without Lonnie Byers as a father figure. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that Jonathan, Will, and Joyce had to live with the asshole for so long.
Before he knew it, Cole was on the Byers’ front porch, his hand balled in a fist to knock on the door. Now or never. He knocked, stepped back, and pasted a smile on his face when Joyce opened the door. “Hi, Mrs. Byers! Sorry to just barge in... but I was hoping you had a minute?”
