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I feel like I'm on a spiral that's only going downwards. Many people feel this way, and I'm not exempt from them. I am not a new case, I am not the exception. But all the same, I feel like they have found solid ground to build off of, and I am close to falling off this rocky surface. I feel like they have found something to lean on, and I am scrambling to be a pillar for myself. I have to be the lighthouse because I don't trust myself to trust someone else. My ship isn't close to sinking. It doesn't even have any holes(I make sure of it), but the sea I have found myself in is tossing and turning, and I can't stable the boat. I can't bring myself to ask for passage in someone elses, for that would be cruel. And I'm too prideful to ask for directions because I know that I will find myself lost again. So I'm stuck on a boat. I can't bring myself to steer it, and it's no one's fault but my own.
If this continues, I fear I will go overboard.