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The Secret History except the hospital Richard gets admitted to is run by the House MD team:
he comes in with terrible respiratory problems and with Henry doting on him the whole time
first disovery: he has pneumonia because he stayed in an room with a hole in the roof (duh)
second discovery: his lower abdominal pain is caused by an std he contracted from Henry who got it from Camilla who got it from Charles who got it from Francis who also gave it to Bunny (and that's why Marion doesn't like him)
third discovery: his digestive problems were due to Henry slowly testing a poison on him which he plans to use on Bunny
fourth discovery: the thing that bit Charles during the bacchanal gave him rabies. To counteract him, he needs mouse bites
final discovery: the biggest underlying cause of his problems was just being allergic to the type of chalk Julian uses or smth