Hhehehheeh - Blog Posts

Ooooooouhh my toes are getting all sweaty and curly at the thought of him snookums

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YASSS bby ({;}) curly toes 🤣💗

I present to you…

Cringe things with Nikto 🫣🤍

Nikto truly believes he’s the best cook in the world. He isn’t, his food is borderline inedible. One birthday he made you a cake, used salt instead of sugar. You had to pretend to enjoy it while your eyes watered.

When you first met, Nikto was barely domesticated. Sleeping at weird hours and prowling around the house. Then he started reorganising all your kitchen cupboards to try and keep himself busy. Now he gets genuinely heartbroken if you move a single tin out of it’s place. “It’s my masterpiece milaya, don’t spoil it.”

Pounding you into the mattress one night, you both went in for a sloppy kiss at the same time. It was dark, his head smacked against your chin. You ended up in the doctors office with a profusely bleeding lip, dressed only in your lingerie and a coat. Nikto kept telling him it was a sex injury, while you died of embarrassment.

Nikto will call you at all hours of the day, wherever he is in the world, for almost feral phone sex. If you don’t pick up he leaves you the horniest voicemails. You made the mistake of answering your phone, at a set of lights with a cop car next to you once. Both officials gave you the thumbs up, as your boyfriend grunted through your vehicles speakers at full blast.

After your first minor fight, Nikto thought it was over. He got absolutely wasted because he was so miserable. Then you had to go and pick him up from the bar, while he told you vehemently how much he loves you. The slurring resulted in a lot of spit going everywhere, then he passed out fully clothed in your bed. Snored all night. You didn’t catch a wink.

You tried to go out for a nice meal one time, something romantic. But you both got chucked out of the restaurant, because Nikto managed to sweet talk his fingers into your panties. The owner threw a glass of water over him, when he asked them what the problem was. Needless to say it didn’t cool him off in the slightest. You’ve never been able to go back.

You bought one of those mould your own dildo kits, because you miss his cock when he’s abroad. You both got plaster everywhere, it ended up looking like a wonky mess and you couldn’t stop laughing. He chases you around the house sometimes with it.

He absolutely loves chick flicks, the cheesier the better. Has been known to shed a tear when the couple make their declarations of love at the end. It makes you giggle, seeing your extremely fierce man well up over the worst plot lines.

Nikto talks a big game, but when you get on top and ride him, he gets absolutely fucked dumb. Barely able to do anything but moan, eyes screwed up so he doesn’t cum on the spot. You could offer him reverse cowgirl and he’d give you anything you want in exchange.