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I Also Have A Twist Planned For Later Because I Hate It When People R Happy Actually - Blog Posts

2 months ago

If you've ever summoned demon!hawks by accident, I feel bad for you.

Maybe you were feeling a tiny bit vindictive and gladly gathered the offerings required to make a deal with a lower-level demon you were planning to summon. Just a small little homeless spell...and only for a certain amount of time! That's it, you swear.

Unfortunately, things went slightly awry when you decided to make a tiny error in your summoning spell. An action you quickly came to regret when an entirely different entity spawned in your summoning circle.

A small hiss of smoke emerges from the pentagram, till it erupts into a full blown cloud of smoke that makes you shut your eyes and cough. You wave your arms around aimlessly to help dispel it. You silently pray to God it doesn't trigger any smoke detectors.

You squint to look around at your home, but it's like it's been engulfed in a thick fog, and your eyes begin to water. Maybe this was a bad idea...

Suddenly, just as you were thinking to leave through a window, a powerful gust of wind sends the smoke flying away. You immediately hack a cough and take in a large inhale through your mouth at the bout of fresh air.

You blink your watery eyes at what the hell just happened, and you gasp.

A demon stands proud in the middle of the pentagram. Entirely bare, his body is painted with strange, intricate black markings, the most remarkable ones being on his eyes. Sharp, golden eyes.

He flaps his large, red wings lightly to clear the remaining smoke, looking rather disinterested. 

You pale.

Whatever this thing is, it is not what you intended to summon. Hell, you were half predicting nothing would show up at all. You blink and come to your senses; then, bambi-scramble towards the counter for your book.

"Hey, where are you going?" His voice sounds male. Humanly so, and you shiver.

"Shut up." You respond mindlessly as your shaky hands open the marked page on your book. After a few rather inexpert turns, you finally do, and your eyes zero in on the picture of the demon.

Fat, garish, stubby, and old looking. Truly, one of the ugliest pictures your eyes had the misfortune of gazing upon.

You look back at your demon. He's lean, tall, and perhaps... handsome. 

No, no. Anything is handsome when compared to the demon in your book, you reason.

You run your hands across your face and resist a groan. What the hell were you even thinking? You're gonna go to work tomorrow after this. It's already late, and you have the audacity to make a mess at this hour.

Perhaps you're dreaming. Oh, yes. That is the most plausible answer. What the hell is a demon anyway? A being made to scare children into believing the moral of the story. That's all. All you need to do is pinch yourself, and you'll be awake--

"Hellooo?" The demon calls out, quite poutily. "Big, scary demon in your house. Come and sell your soul to mee." He waves as if that'll catch your attention.

You ignore him, and look over the instructions that you followed to summon the entity.

You slip from behind the counter with the book to your nose to stand in front of the summoning circle. Your eyes flit from the book to the circle, appraising your work. You circle it, paying attention to every detail. You’ve followed every step correctly, so…what gives?

"Hey!"

You finally look up from your book to him. He doesn't look amused.

He huffs, "I don't appreciate how rude you're being. I'm a high-class demon, and I’m being treated like this?"

"Are you?" You pipe up, surprised, "No, no, that can't be right..." You look back to your book. You specifically intended to summon a lower-class demon.

He guffaws, "Am I?"

Your eyes finally land on the ingredient list, orange-red salt.

You look at the summoning circle. Blood-red salt.

You facepalm. God, how could you be so stupid? You messed everything up over such a tiny mistake. Just great. Whole night ruined over what? Just because you were a vindictive little thing that wanted to get back at your trash bag ex, and it totally came and bit you in the ass. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

A loud creak is heard and your train of thought is cut off. You look up and pale at the sight of one of the wooden boards holding your house up having been snapped almost halfway. What on Earth…?

"Tick-tock." Your eyes look to his own, and there’s no hint of joking to them. They’re only sharp and intimidating. "You're on borrowed time, human. Better make a deal fast before this whole house comes crashing down on us." He doesn't look relaxed anymore, tone and demeanour rather serious.

You inhale through your nose, looking at him with wary curiosity, "What...does that mean?"

He laughs, "Don’t got a clue in the world, do ya?" He crosses his arms over his chest, "Well, I'll tell you. Since I'm so nice."

You tilt your head to the side, suddenly feeling anxious. The ceiling creaks again. "Tell me what?"

"Well, well, well, let's see here..." He puts his hand on his hip, drawing your eyes to a rather unsavory part of his body, you quickly look back at his eyes, "You opened a gateway from Hell to Earth inside your cute little house here, and it's putting quite the strain on it." You hear small splinters give way from above you, "Keep it open long enough, and well..." He looks unbothered, like it’s not his problem, "It'll all come crashing down on us."

You blink slowly, jaw slightly ajar. You swallow, and muster the words, "We're gonna die?"

"You're gonna die."

"I'm gonna die?"

"Unless you make a deal with me." He says nonchalantly.

There's a lag in your brain before the complete snap of one of your overhead beams draws your attention back to reality, "Okay, um, well...what kind of deal?"

He doesn't look impressed, "What kind of deal?"

"Well– Look, I summoned you on accident–" His eyebrows shoot up, "No, like, I meant to summon a different demon. And I think what I was going to ask fit his line of expertise more..."

He grins, "Try me."

You bring your hand up to explain, averting your eyes, "Well..." Then, you realize how ridiculous you'll sound. You click your tongue as you look into nowhere in particular, a lie not coming to you fast enough.

He yawns, "Come on, do you want to be homeless?"

Your face flushes in embarrassment at the irony of it all, "I actually..." You swallow, "I wanted to do that to someone else."

He snorts. A snort that erupts into a laugh. Right in your face. Talk about rudeness.

You cross your arms and look away, "Yes, yes. How hilarious. The irony is not lost on me."

He flicks a tear from his face as he comes down from his laughter, a small giggle coming out, "Oh...Oh Lucifer. Okay, I actually can't do that. But that's, so fucking funny."

You pinch your nose bridge, less mad at him and more so yourself. "Well, what can you do?" You say as evenly as you possibly can, which is not much.

He hums, "Affecting other humans directly is not exactly my forte."

You have a hand under your chin as you think, "Then, can you make me...super rich or something?"

"Well, ah...not quite."

"Then…” you try to think, “Can you make me crazy hot?" Perhaps a revenge look is what you should be going for, make your ex miss what they lost...

He grins slyly, "Don't worry, you don't need me in that department."

You try to ignore the flush that creeps down all the way to your neck. Rather annoyed, you burst out, "Well, tell me, then. What can you do?"

He inhales through his nose, "Hmm, I have to say, not much."

You grit your teeth at his annoyingly casual response. Instinctively, you look up. Unsurprisingly, even more of the beams have splinters and...holes in them. As if a mold has eaten its way through them.

Now, you're very, very worried.

"Please, just..." You swallow, trying your best to gather your scattered thoughts, "Anything, any deal you want, i'll do it. Just make it stop."

He smirks, like he’s won a big prize at a casino, "Anything?"

You're suddenly less sure, "Yes."

"Fine." A loud creak, "You can close the border by keeping me on Earth instead of the other way around. The deal can be making me your demon companion...in exchange for your soul."

You choke, and your head grows foggy, "What?"

"It's hard in Hell for a new guy like me." He laments, though a bit fakely... "No souls to keep me warm, and more importantly, powerful." He sighs, "I get picked on."

You look at him in horror, "And you're sure...you're sure there's nothing else I can give you?"

Another beam snaps, "Oh, absolutely. Though if it doesn't float your boat you can just wait it out till you die." He sighs sadly, "Then, you'll go to Hell anyway for summoning me and land in the hands of..." He grimaces, as if it disgusts him to even be looking at the page in your book, "That guy."

At your hesitance, he rolls his eyes, "Listen, you're going to Hell no matter what you choose. So, you might as well choose to stay on Earth longer." He smiles, "I promise I'm not so bad."

You don’t have much of a choice. With an inhale, you make your decision. 

“Fine. Deal.”


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