I Died From Cringe - Blog Posts

I remembered some funny (in a bad way) things that ppl constantly wrote in r/40kLore, when I still used my Reddit account. This community has always been a treasure trove of cringe.

BEHOLD, THE OVERUSED DISCUSSION, EVERYONE IS SO TIRED OF: "DO THE SPACE MARINES HAVE SEX?"

Not only these guys brought up this topic every month, but they typed such idiotic things that I wanted to hit my head on the table.

My favorites:

1) "Space Marines don't have balls/genitals, they're basically smooth Ken dolls."

By the Dark Gods, where did they even get that from... And who then are their smooth Barbies?!

2) "They're sterile, so they can't have sex."

I think I studied some wrong things in medical university for 5 years. How can you confuse "sterile" with "impotent"? "Sterile" men can't have children - not sex! And yes, Astartes are canonically unable to conceive.

3) "Even Slaaneshi CSMs are not interested in sex, only in killing and torture."

Lots of excerpts from various novels and other lore bits where they're described having sex/relationship with each other, daemons and their slaves - are we a joke to you? Or do these guys need detailed E-rated scenes to understand it?

The self-proclaimed lore messiahs also love to say: "Slaanesh is not about sex! Stop constantly talking about it!"

The joke is - I almost never saw anyone who would say that, but, again, this topic was brought up constantly. Basically purists' neuron activation posts.

Damn, Slaanesh IS about sex AND other things (torture, art, music: excesses and hedonism in everything) too! But some people outright try to exclude this specific aspect when it's absolutely wrong. Because "no s*x in my Christian incel fantasy, no-no, sir!"

One person typed that Kasperos Telmar, aka The Radiant King, had "harem" of daemon "courtesans" and mentioned his "lovers".

This is where I died: some prude answered this person that "it was not specified that The Radiant did anything sexual with them!"

OF COURSE, YOU DO NOTHING SEXUAL WITH YOUR HAREM OF HOT BOVINE-CRUSTACEAN-WOMEN! THEY WERE JUST PLAYING REGICIDE UNDER THE BLANKET! EVERY CHAOS LORD DOES IT, WDYM?