Curate, connect, and discover
OK, so I wanted to formulate my opinion here
I got into fandom by reading youtuber fan fiction back in the day. I remember this specific people had a video reading fanfic and it was really fun so I looked for more.
From my experience, shipping and writing fanfic really wasn't the problem, the problem is when people try to involve the creators with the content, messaging them or trying to turn their attention to it. The creator/actor or whoever should only see this type of content if they look for it, because it's content from fans to fans and they shouldn't have to see pushy messages to kiss you or people they know. You can say to a creator that you like their friendship with other people because they have fun interactions or whatever, but anything that is too on the imagining things side should stay for the fans.
I can definitely agree with op that it's not a sfw or nsfw debate, it's a being respectful to people and letting they do their thing while you enjoy your thing
nsfw fanfiction of real people is weird but so is sfw fanfiction. the problem isnt just nsfw works but the entire idea of treating real people like fictional characters.