Curate, connect, and discover
Listening to ‘I bet on losing dogs’ by Mitski and all I can think of is Caleb for some reason
While I think Caleb is a hallucination, I think about the possibility of ghost Caleb. Due to his body never being let to rest and his bones used to create new life he’s unable to move on. So he witnesses brother make a grimwalker, at first he’s shocked and disgusted, horrified by this act against nature but then he falls in love. This 1st grimwalker whose an abomination to life, who looks like he’s falling a part at the seems, who looks nothing like him, this uncanny being meant to replace him, was the most the most precious thing to him. It was heavily deformed but Caleb through his horror, loved the creature as soon as its head popped up from the ground. Perhaps it was that deep parental instinct in him , or the fact that he never met his own child but Caleb feels love for the being and is sadden that he’s unable to interact with him in a meaningful way. The grimwalker dies after a hour, it’s body too deformed and unstable to hold itself, it dies thinking it’s unloved as Philip simply let it die, neglecting the being, too disgusted by the beast and making plans on how to make the next one better as he withered. Caleb is heartbroken by this. And like that the cycle continues.
Not all grimwalkers are golden guards, many are just experiments or failures, his heart shatters for those whose survival was never a choice, all he can do is weep for their injustice. Their bones the base of the pit. He sees his brother, the boy he raised only grow colder and crueler. He hates that he misses the boy this monster used to be.
He watches over and over, a new grimwalker is born, lives poorly, and dies miserably. His babies, his children being murdered by his own brother and being able to do nothing about it. He’s tries to watch over Evelyn and his child and the generations of clawthornes after but he’s drawn back to the grimwalkers, they are made from his bone, his dna alone, he doesn’t dare to think of them as clones. The clawthornes have each other, these grimwalkers have nothing. He watches as they’re made to do heinous acts against witch and demon kind for their creator, their perception of the world being warped and freedom never being an option. Caleb thinks he would grow apathetic but the pain only grows as he watches the pile of bones get bigger. He sees his skeleton be reduced to quarter of its original size, he’s sees the wild land of the boiling isles being leashed by the rise of the empire.
He’s lost hope that his children would be ever able to escape, he’s seen to many die trying. He finds himself hoping they “stay in line” just to survive even if it wasn’t living.
But then one grimwalker, made from a rib, a child, the third one named Hunter made, finds flapjack. And he survives. He escapes his brothers wretched mind and runs, and like that, Caleb sees the first free grimwalker. His brother dies and he weeps for the child he raised. The boy, Hunter escapes to the Human realm. He follows. The world has changed so much, even more than the boiling isles. He finds himself exploring the place alongside the little grimwalker, Hunter and his friends. For the first time, he feels warmth. He wishes he could reach out and touch the boy and tell him how much he loved him. He wishes that for all the Grimwalkers but he wants to tell him how happy he is that he escaped. He watches Hunter grow a bond to kind women who treats him gently, with friends who love him dearly.
Hunter is his son and his son is alive. He mourns that he can never be a dad to the boy.
His son gets possessed, he watches his brother manipulate his sons body and he’s helpless to any of it, he had spent to much time following his son he didn’t think of the possibility of his brother being alive.
His son dies and Caleb feels as if he would be weeping for all eternity…but then his palismen, who he carved with his own hands lands on the boy chest and gives him life. He’s sadden by the death of his palismen but the bird has centuries to live, the grimwalkers never really had a life. This one a child, not even an adult like the previous where.
His son lives, now scarred and brown eyes and Caleb can’t help to think he’s only further solidified himself as his son. His son has powers, Caleb is a proud father.
Another grimwalker gets possessed but falls apart and dies immediately, Caleb mourns the son he never got a chance to see in proper lighting.
His brother dies. He grieves.
His son is cared for by adults who can be there for him. Caleb feels bittersweet. He watches from a distance, he’s accepted reality but he can’t help but imagine a life where is was him being the parent.
The bodies of his dead children are found, they are buried. Theirs names only remembered by the journals made by their creator.
His own body is found, or what remains of it. It’s buried, his son pays his respects and he feels like a proud father.
Suddenly theirs an opening and he can leave. He watches his remaining son grow a life for himself.
Caleb is at peace, he wants to watch but it’s his time to go. It’s been his time for centuries. He looks longingly to his living son. He wishes he was his dad.
He looks at the other side and hopes that he may reconnect with his wife, with their born child, and meet all the grimwalker children he never got a chance to show his love.
With the first breath he’s taken in centuries, he steps to the other side and Caleb is no more.
(Made myself sad and sorry for grammar issues)