I Yearn For Him - Blog Posts

I just sat here staring at the wall for a good minute questioning what I did to deserve the fact that I'm not currently experiencing this in real time.

It's like I was immersed in it, picturing everything, and then I snapped back to the disappointment that is reality.

I may sob into my pillow this night.

𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐨. The guy who walked into class once with blood stains on his sneakers. Got that hair up in spike buns. Wears nothing but heavy, oversized clothes that hide his physique. Heavy, dark makeup. Excessive bracelets and accessories. Earphones plugged in, music loud enough to make you wonder if he's trying to make himself go deaf. Is he listening to Green Day or My Chemical Romance? No okay, it was Mozart and Vivaldi. He's an off-beat freak always throwing surprises. Black nails with pink pinkies. Pale, slightly veiny hands that instantly spark your imagination. He wears an expression that's so brooding and unapproachable, but then then he opens his mouth and speaks so softly and so politely that you're taken aback.

Sitting down with him at parties leads to getting high and finding out that he has a lot on his mind. It's impossible to judge if he likes you or not; he's enigmatic. When he's got a crush on you, he just gives you shifty stares out his peripherals. Maybe he's not interested at all — oh never mind, now he's placing freaky open-mouthed kisses on your mouth. You know what he loves? Holding the side of your neck and slipping his pierced tongue into your mouth. At hazy parties, he sits on the stairs with you, caught up in an intense, highly charged make-out session.

He loves sleeping in your lap. He loves doodling on your arm, cute little mushrooms or creatures. He's always so calm that just being around him puts you in a zen state — "Hey, baby." he murmurs this so softly, his voice like ocean waves rolling under moonlight. His arm is quickly around your shoulders, and you're melting into him. It's just indescribable, this effect that Choso Kamo has on you — you could marry him. And honestly, it's funny, considering that he was once just the freaky spike bun hair guy who walked into class with blood stains on his sneakers.