It Was Insane - Blog Posts

shifting story from trying 2 shift 2 dexter 🩸

(9/29/24) tldr; i succeeded, ended up in a random hotel room in miami

on that day i had been meditating for the better part of four hours, and gradually it turned into desperately trying to shift, visualizing my dexter dr, and i wasn’t having much luck with that. couldn’t connect with it, didn’t feel like shifting, so i did a gratitude guided meditation and just gave up on trying to shift that day because like—i’m not gonna keep pushing if I’m not feeling up to it—and then took a break, fell asleep listening to my dr spotify playlist.

when i woke back up, I charged my airpods for a little bit and then put on slade’s shifting brew(the newest version, V4 i think, but i really have no idea whether or not it impacted my success) and i went and meditated again. this time i was coating all of my actions with gratitude. not even trying to shift, just being like “fuck it, i am a master shifter,” and then letting myself feel those feelings of relief that i really had shifted again, that i really could do it, that it was possible for me.

i think i did this for 20 minutes, not really expecting anything, before i started getting insanely sleepy and sinking deeper, like very nearly into the dream state, and then i remember on the left side of me this immense pull. like reality was splitting or smn, but not really. i can’t remember whether or not i had the intention of astral projection, but either way i felt myself separate from my body. this full on feeling of separation. then i was “standing on the side of my bed.” but like not physically, but i could perceive everything around me. and it was stable, not at all like a vision, like i was actually out— wasn’t immediately changing despite the fact i was “staring” at my bed and my body wasn’t there, it was just my bed.

i tried to see if i could visualize my body and confirm, before i had this half-intention and realized, oh shit, i’m in an altered state of consciousness, i should go to dexter. so i concentrated(i think??? not concentrated physically, hard to put into words) and suddenly i was standing on the outer balcony of this hotel i instinctively knew was in miami. to the right through two apartment buildings i could see the ocean. i had no shoes on, and the ground was dark grey, rough, like concrete but painted or smn. im staring at this old hinged glass door, a dark brown with square paneled windows(im not an interior designer don’t get on me) kinda trying to get my bearings, then i kinda yank it open and go inside, still in this mildly ap-y state, but the details i was seeing, stable on their own, were kind of scary.

(this is a horrible drawing of what i saw when i went inside, literally don’t judge me)

so i walked forward to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, saw myself and am like “what if i try grounding myself????”(stupid thought really but.) so i turn to the little white star pattern on the tiled brown bathroom wall and start trying to bring myself into this form more, tracing the stars, and the texture of them quickly became so fucking real as i did this. like the grooves and protruding edges, i felt them, i wasn’t hallucinating or trying to pretend like i did. it was so real it kinda scared me a little bit, bcs this whole thing had been so stable.

then i thought, “i should go to dexter for real this time” and then i start channeling the feel of the outside of his miami apartment, and suddenly i was there, walking up to his door, and the colors are so fucking vivid and i have so much information coming at me. i’m less physically “stable” than i was a minute(?????) ago, but im there, and then i tried to reach for dexter directly,

but then i snapped back in my body. my OR body. i remember panicking like “??? DID i just shift? Um i have to tell my friends,” but after writing all that down i fell back asleep and then had a couple false awakenings, dreaming that i shifted again😭😭😭 freaky.

that really locked in my faith bcs i KNOW damn well my brain doesn’t have the capacity to hallucinate details like that and keep them stable- lucid dreams aren’t stable. astral projecting, from my experience, isn’t stable. meditative states like those, also from my experience, are wonky. warped. respond to my intention immediately. yet that hotel felt individual from me, like i had gone there, which i had

~ love, kat<3