Curate, connect, and discover
I love her. I’m in love with her. I have been for years. I want her, to have and to hold, for better and through worse, for the rest of my life. I used to say that I wanted to be a part of her, a heart, a lung, a leg, anything. Not because I wanted to be her, no, but because I wanted to know her, better than anyone, so I could know what she needed, how best to help her. I want to be there with her through everything. I want to come home from work and cuddle up to her on the couch, to listen to her talk about her day, or her dreams, or anything.
I want her in all the ways someone can want someone else. I want to be her best friend, her lover, her comrade. I want the be the first person she calls when she needs to talk, when she wants to share good news, or bad news, when it’s late at night and she can’t sleep. I want to kiss her, and hold her, and sleep under the stars. I want to tumble into bed with her, to tease her about her bed head in the morning. I want to learn to cook her favorite foods in a kitchen we share. I want to dance with her, to watch her trip over her own two feet and laugh at herself. God, how often I make a fool of myself to hear that laugh. I want to see every expression she can make. I want hear every noise. I want to see the most beautiful parts of the world with her, because she’s the most beautiful part of mine.
I want to hear all the family drama. I want to go to her family get togethers. I want her to come to mine. I want to show her off to everyone I know. I want them all to see how much I love her. I want them to tell her how every time I look at her my love is so apparent it makes them want to hurl. I want her to smile and laugh and agree. I want her mother to invite me into her family with open arms and I want her to be welcomed into mine.
I want to share my life with her. I want her to share her life with me. I’m in love with her, I have been for years, and I think I always will be. But I know these wants can’t come to pass. She doesn’t love me back, but it’s fun to dream.