I've Never Done That Before - Blog Posts

Home

Home

Spider was never meant to find Home 

He knows that. No matter what Kiri whispers to him, what Lo’ak insists when the young warriors of the Omatikaya attempt to chase him off, or what Neteyam mumbles when Neytiri whips around with venom on her lips - he knows it, because if it were wrong, it would mean that everything that’s happened was for no reason. He can’t go that route, and so Home is just a concept he’ll never know 

His siblings tempt to sway him many times over the years - they feel so much like Home it hurts, but he’s not so selfish to risk it for them when he knows he already took it from their mother 

He’s seen his father in the photos the scientists don’t know he has, video logs that show a man that’s only been a horror story his whole life 

But what scares him is he sees himself 

He sees his eyes, the scowl when he’s angry, the cinch in his brow. He scowls at the image and sees his own face stare back. 

So yeah. He doesn’t have a home. He has siblings though, and that’s more than he deserves. So Spider is okay. Really, he is.

But then his Dad shows up 

—- 

Quaritch is everything he thought he’d be and…not. 

He’s angry. The man is full of hate and a need for revenge. He destroys the ground beneath his feet and spits on the life that’s surround them. He doesn’t know Ewya but he hates her none the less. 

But he’s protective. Possessive of what’s his (and yet another damn thing he got from his father) and it seems Spider is included in that

He hates it but a part of him feels protected - it’s safe in the that’s holding a poison blade is. He’s one slip up from hell 

But hell was bridgehead. It was the feeling of his deepest parts being pried out and displayed like the pages of a storybook 

No one cared as they saw some of his best and his darkest days. 

No one cared when the whips came out. When he bled so much he worried it was fatal 

No one cared when he starved, when the distant sound of wildlife made his stomach twist with need. 

Except Quaritch. 

Quaritch snuck him food, bandaged his back, and pulled him down. 

His hands may have delivered some of the blows or his lips produced the words to trigger nightmares but he cared. 

Love is complicated, but he knows his Dad loved him

He thinks he may have too 

Quaritch saw him. 

He didn’t know. He thought he did but he didn’t but he wanted to he knows he did - 

Then Neteyam almost dies. No one came for him. They left him, gave him up, except his brothers didn’t 

Neteyam and Lo’ak fought for him. 

They risked their lives when they had the chance to get away

Spider pieces his home together after that

Home finds him in the nights after when he rests with Kiri on his shoulder and Lo’ak’s hand loose in his grip. Tuk is curled into her mothers chest and Jake stands a silent guard at the door. Neteyam is flat on the bed of one of Ronal’s medical tents. His brother has been asleep for a few hours now with Norms assistance, but his family is too afraid to leave his side

He’s been awake the whole time. He hurts in ways he didn’t know he could until his capture but the warmth of his closest friends is too precious to loose right now. Still, he can’t sleep. Adrenaline is running under his skin and anxiety is inching up his throat. Jake is outside, safe and strong, but his tracker could lead the rest of the sky people here again, never mind Norms tempering, or his memories could have a clue, they had to be recorded, or - 

Jake lays a large hand on his shoulder. 

He jumps and a scared gasp escapes his throat before he processes the subtle differences. The thinner fingers, callouses Quaritch hasn’t had time to form yet, the gentleness. 

“You need to sleep, Kiddo.”

Spider shudders and bows his head. “I will, just…can’t. I’ll go lay down in a few hours. When they’re okay.”

He can practically hear Jake roll his eyes. “I’m here. You’re safe, they’re safe. You need to sleep, Son.” 

They both freeze, blood cold and eyes wide, as the silence envelops them.

Then, of course, Lo’ak snores and the moments gone. Jake laughs softly and suddenly exhaustion is pulling at his eyelids. A cushion slides behind him and a hand gently lowers him down. 

“Sleep.” 

The pieces come faster after that.

He cries with Kiri for hours. Laments his father, spills everything he felt. She’s the first one he tells the truth too. She knows more than he thinks anyone else ever will 

He tells her Quaritch is alive. He tells her its all his fault.

She cries, yells, and then they just lay there. She tells him how scared she was of her mother. How lost she felt without him there. 

He looks at her as she cries and another puzzle piece slides into place

Lo’ak and Neteyam came together when they came back for him, but it doesn’t feel settled until later. 

They’re on their ilu with Spider behind Lo’ak as they race out to meet Payakan. He’s giant and beautiful and damn terrifying, but Lo’ak describes him as his soul brother. An extension of himself and a badass of a friend. They tell him how Payakan saved them. How he helped get Spider home

He’s scared and excited and now sure what to make of the beast, but then Lo’ak is leaving him on the ilu and falling into the water 

He rises on a fin the size of a small marui with a loud whoop that can’t help but make Spider laugh in astonished awe 

“Paya, meet my other brother, Spider.” Then a wave of water is splashing over him as Lo’ak laughs in a way he hasn’t heard since the forest 

His breath leaves his lungs as he laughs and laughs, happy for more reasons than one. Neteyam meets his gaze from across the surf and smiles then one quick nod. He holds his gaze and feels the warmth spread in his chest. 

“Team up?”

“Team up.”

Tuk has been his little sister since he held her in his arms for the first time. Neteyam snuck him over when they were barely into puberty and put a baby the size of his torso into his arms 

He remembers her being the most terrifying thing in the world. He was so sure she would be terrified of him, that he would make her cry as soon as she was in his arms and the other kids would realize he’s a monster 

But Tuk has always been Tuk and she just grinned and pulled his hair. Her Tswin fluttered with her affections and he knew he would do anything for her 

He had never seen her angry, truly angry, until she stumbled into him cleaning the cuts along his hips and back. The cloths on the floor are bloody and his skin is angry and mottled but he had been decent at hiding the level of it until now. Behind her, Neytiri stops in her tracks as she takes in his scars 

Tuk’s eyes fill with tears and then he has a bundle of 5’7” child in his arms 

Her eyes flash and she looks like her mother when she growls out; “What happened? They hurt you?” 

He stutters, not knowing what to say when Neytiri kneels down in front of him. She takes the ointment and the bandages in front of him, moves his arm from his side, and begins to apply. Her hands are shaking and he realizes he’s never seen her frazzled 

“You’re a child.” 

He looks up, Tuk now angrily crying in his arms while she cleans and gently bandages the wounds. “I..I know…look, I’m sorry Tuk saw, I-I didn’t think anyone was coming back for a while..” 

“You’re a child. Children are precious. I-I didn’t realize they…that…” She scowls down at the drying blood and puts the wrap down. She pulls him forward so he rests against her with Tuk snug between them. “I’m sorry, Spider. This will not happen again.” 

His face is red and words don’t seem to work but he manages a scared nod. “O-Okay?” 

She nods, decisive, and resumes her work. Then, lifts a dirty dread with a disgruntled finger. “These next. My children will not be seen looking uncared for.” 

And that’s that. He has a family, a home, and it’s all he ever wanted. 

He doesn’t think it could get better. 

Part two coming cause holy shit it's 2000 words

Red son except I forgot the actual context of the screenshot but decided “what the hell might as well redraw it”