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Jason Asano - Blog Posts
Book 12 spoilers
“Parts 1 and 2 of the Clive sessions, which I’m assuming will continue until I die.”
“Aren’t you immortal?”
“Don’t remind me.”
Jason is stuck with Clive for eternity. Oh nooooooo
Tonight is feeling like I need Jason to be sobbing on his hands and knees. Inconsolable. No one can get through to him except his team.
Clive: We need to ta-
Jason: Nope, sorry. No time.
Clive: Jason…
Jason: Byeeeee
That poor, poor man. May Clive persist
What the actual fuck, Jason
He doesn’t have paperwork and instead of asking a high up official to help him out, starts telling the border guard all her deepest darkest secrets and letting her know that he saw them all.
What. The. Fuck.
Professional Cuddler AU
Jason who takes on odd jobs and one of those is as a professional cuddler. Clive is, as always, a researcher at a local university. I struggle with how to get Clive to hire Jason, but I’m going to say it’s Belinda who does it as a joke for his birthday. Clive, of course, shows up because he’s not going to be rude.
Jason is immediately aware that Clive isn’t at all into it and offers to start slow. It’s a 3 hour session (damn, Belinda) so he asks if he wants to have a conversation instead. Start with small skin contact like hand holding or letting their legs touch.
So Jason brews some tea out, and they sit and talk. Letting their legs touch under the table and extra skin contact. Jason talks to Clive, asks him questions, and Clive has a pleasant time being able to talk about everything with someone who is personable and will listen to him. (What he really needs is a therapist, but Jason will do)
Despite originally not wanting to go, Clive books another session.
Of course Lorelei Gratham isn’t having success with wooing Clive. He’s only got eyes for Jason 🙄
https://archiveofourown.org/works/65858887
Jason proposes. Clive is Clive.
*something weird happens*
Everyone: So Clive, was this your boyfriend?
Jason took the technology essence back to with him because he knew it would fascinate Clive 😌
I’m simply going to choose to believe he also DID take some notes for him as well. “You never take proper notes” implies he takes SOME notes
What if… for the fic following up my other fic where Jason falls asleep on Clive… I sprinkle a little angst…
(“The sunrise, the morning after, it would’ve been really romantic if you were a woman,” Jason says.)
Jason getting jealous that Travis can share Earth science with Clive but he can’t.
Clive gets all excited, his eyes lighting up, all previous thoughts forgotten as he delves into earth magic. Meanwhile Jason isn’t even knowledgeable enough to explain something like gravity to him.
Better if Jason doesn’t even realize he likes Clive like that. He thinks he’s just jealous he can’t show off to his “best friend”
“Break what off?”
CLIVE?!?!?!
He’s definitely a virgin 😭
Also I’m now convinced that the reason Jason crashed Boris and Clive’s little get together was because Clive was being hit on and he was subconsciously jealous.
(Because bro even I picked up on it while listening and a guy had to literally buy me $70 worth of comic books to get me to realize he’d been hitting on me whenever I visited the store.)
Jason: You should get a wife
Clive: Well if I ever find a SPOUSE…
Jason: Remember when you were into Farrah?
Clive: … What?
Jason: Haven’t you ever… taken a tumble in the sheets?
Clive: No.
Jason: Damn, those tattoos must help with the ladies.
Clive: … no but the cute turtle people want to feed on the other hand
Belinda: liar. You shoo away all the ladies
Jason, a man notorious for feeding people and creatures alike: Wow, what a ladies’s man
.
.
.
Clive, internally: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUU
I skipped ahead to read Clive and Jason’s (and Neil and Jason’s) farewell a few days ago. Finally got there naturally. Still processing.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/65799097
I may or may not have finished the cock warming fic while on my prep period today (no one tell admin)
CLIVE YOU AREN’T SLICK. YOU KNOW THAT JASON BEING AROUND GETS YOU EXCITED
(He needed them all to leave so he could have some alone time with Jason’s system and notification windows)
NSFW/ 18+
I just think that Jason would gladly cockwarm for Clive while he’s researching. Just him in his knees with Clive’s cock in his mouth and Clive reads/ takes notes/ goes over diagrams.
Do you guys think Shirtaloon ever checks for fanfiction of He Who Fights with Monsters?
Like do you think he threw out the idea of “Humphrey’s Big Engine” in hopes that some fan would write it? Just kicking his feet as he wrote the joke like “oh god, the shippers are going to LOVE this one!”
The chemistry Jason has with all the men on his team can’t be a mistake. Like that HAS to be intentional. He HAS to have written all their relationships as possible.
I refuse to believe otherwise.
I might have to make a Chemistry (by Weike Wang) AU for Clive and Jason. A short one, but an AU where Jason asks Clive to marry him.
(I’ve only read the sample on Amazon because I am waiting to go to a book store to buy it but I think it kinda fits. I like the analytical-ness of the narrator)
Jason singing “I can show you the world” to Clive except instead of riding around on a magic carpet over a city, they’re on a cloud vehicle as Jason shows him advanced and rare Astral magic
I’m a little loopy with lack of sleep (finishing up some work stuff right now) but I’ve decided that I’m going to reach a level of delusion where I’m absolutely going to believe that Clive is in love with Jason no matter what
He ends up with someone else? That’s because he can’t have Jason.
I thought of a fantastic fic name. Now what about the plot…
Neil would definitely write it if you asked him
Someone do a danielle geller x Jason fic ngl. Humphreys stepdad.
… 14 more hours (a tragic tale of timing things wrong)
“You can fight however you want in Jason’s soul realm.”
Niel: *Shoots Jason canon balls and makes fat, exploding Jason giants*
It’s the way Jason and Clive are in so in sync. Not even Farrah knew what was going on.
(Quote from book 11)
A modern day AU where Clive is a lonely researcher and Jason works part time at a dumpling soup shop and at an office supply store.
Clive only goes out for three things - food, office supplies, and basic necessities. Somehow he runs into Jason doing all three of these. And somehow, the chef/server who will let Clive rant about his research, coworkers, the university (all while looking very interested), remembers his name and says hi to him every time they see each other.
Jason basically already does this for Clive.
Clive: *says something*
A gold ranker: Shut up, you’re just a silver ranker
Jason: *Gets a diamond ranker to forcibly drag him out* Clive, please speak again.
Jason would 100% do this for Clive
Reading the HWFWM reddit feels like insanity sometimes. What do you mean the ship that you think is most likely is Clive and Emi? You think Neil DOESN’T like the team? What?