Jimin Oneshot - Blog Posts

⪩⪨﹒ 🛁 My angel ﹐ʬʬ

🦇 TEENVAMPIRE!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: vampire!jimin x human!reader. 2000s public school au. he’s a hot weird kid idk how else to describe it. non-biting vampire. ⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞

lulu speaks: i edited the fang on him myself thank you thank you no need for applause 😌

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who transferred in the middle of the semester with no explanation. no parents. no records. just showed up to homeroom one day in a black leather jacket and eyeliner.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who only drinks from blood bags because he’s “trying to be good now”.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who has the nerve to say “you smell… good” like it’s not the same love spell body mist half the school wears.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who is suspiciously confident. he shows up late to class but never gets in trouble. has perfect grades but never studies. he always looks like he knows something you don’t.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin whose eyes are constantly low and tired like his eyelids weigh tons.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who fails gym every semester because his heart doesn’t beat, he doesn’t sweat, and he can’t explain that during a beep test.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who always smells faintly of something sweet and metallic. you can never place it. it makes your chest ache a little.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who hasn’t fed in days—not since he saw you. everything after that tasted bland, like ash. not you. and he couldn’t do that to himself.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who got a good look at your neck once when you tilted your head back laughing. his knuckles went white. he left the room.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who never sits next to you. ever. but he’s always in your eyeline. the cafeteria, homeroom, biology, the hallway. he’s always close enough for you to see; never enough for you to suspect.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who asks you if you believe in monsters one day, completely out of the blue. you say no. he grins, nods. “lucky you.”

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who calls you “bright eyes”, all teasing and smug as if his don’t glimmer when they catch the moonlight.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who has a painfully noticeable shift in his energy when he’s hungry—his pupils dilate, his sarcasm dissapears, and he moves like he’s got something heavy chained to his spine. his eyes are set forward: unmoving, deathly set on something in the distance.

ྐ❤︎ teenvampire!jimin who buys a new abercrombie & fitch cologne every release because he thinks it’ll make him smell like every other teenage boy.

lulu speaks pt2: one of my irl friends has my acc now so she can see everything i post🧍🏻‍♀️everyone say hi mani 👋🏼

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📔 CLASSPRESIDENT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: classpresident!jimin x brainsandbrawns!reader. he’s basically a smarter & bitchier tristan dugray. private school au. long time rivals with tension. power couple who isn’t a couple yet but SO should be. rich boy with a pride problem.

lulu speaks: he’s hot i want him BHADDD

✎ classpresident!jimin whose parents are part of the school board, and are the main funders of the school.

✎ classpresident!jimin who ran for class president and won by a landslide. it was mostly because his peers are scared to death of him, and because nobody else even bothered to run against him.

✎ classpresident!jimin who finishes physics tests 20 minutes early and leaves students feeling like idiots just for glancing at their calculator.

✎ classpresident!jimin who will give you detention for being late and then walk you to class himself, smirking the entire time down.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulls your chair out and holds the door for you, but not for anyone else. ever. if someone points it out, he brushes it off with, “she’s too high-maintenance to be trusted with a door.”

✎ classpresident!jimin who shoots anyone who makes you laugh death stares, but only because he knows he’s never even been close to doing that—and he’ll likely never be.

✎ classpresident!jimin who absolutely sabotages anyone who tries to date you. he grades them harshly on their assignments because he’s a TA, tells teachers they were talking during a fire drill, spreads rumors that could ruin careers, all while you are blissfully unaware.

✎ classpresident!jimin who pretends he doesn’t remember your valentine’s day kiss from 4th grade. (it was a dare. it lasted a second. you definetly forgot about it by now, right???)

✎ classpresident!jimin who pulled strings with the professor to switch out your chem partner because he was too flirty.

✎ classpresident!jimin who remembers how his face used to get all red and his hands used to get all sweaty when he had to sit next to you in 2nd grade.

✎ classpresident!jimin who tried to actually flirt exactly once—you laughed in his face. he played it off, but he actually went home and screamed into his pillow.

✎ classpresident!jimin who has literally NEVER interrupted you when you’re speaking in class. not once. even if you’re wrong, even if he’s dying to correct you. he waits, because you’re the only person he respects at that level.

✎ classpresident!jimin who replies with “make me” evrey time you tell him to shut up.

✎ classpresident!jimin who 100% knows the way you smell. the actual name of your perfume—he looked it up. and now, when he catches whiffs of it in public, his head whips around like a dog hearing a toy jingle.

✎ classpresident!jimin who is in love with you—no matter what he says or how he rolls his eyes. painfully, hopelessly, endlessly in love with you, and he’ll take it to his grave…unless you find out.

lulu speaks pt2: when i found this picture of jimin i was half asleep and literally didn’t know if i was hallucinating or not. i wasn’t!! it’s real 💆🏻‍♀️

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📚 NERD!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (2)

warnings: literally non lol. fluff, yearning, pining, slight jealousy and angst if you squint and cover your eyes. he has a PHHHHAAAATTTTTT crush on reader. cutie pie.

lulu speaks: i recommend you read PART 1 before continuing. highly recommended, not 100% necessary.

✎ nerd!jimin who doodles tiny marvel logos in the margins of his notes and once drew your name in comic sans.

✎ nerd!jimin who acts like he doesn’t know how to share a word document, just so you lean over and touch his computer. he’s an honor roll student. he knows how to share a word document.

✎ nerd!jimin who is so unfortunately obvious with his crush on you that professors give him cheeky little side eyes when you interact with him.

✎ nerd!jimin who carries a mini glasses cleaning kit in a tiny pouch. there’s a spray bottle of cleaner and two different microfiber cloths.

✎ nerd!jimin who runs a reddit account where he corrects marvel lore inaccuracies but logs out in shame every time he gets upvoted.

✎ nerd!jimin who said “you look really pret— uh— prepared! f-for class. your notes! are nice.” and then didn’t speak again for two days.

✎ nerd!jimin who knows your laugh by heart. not just the sound—but the types. your real laugh. your fake laugh. your giggle when you're trying not to laugh in class. he could give a TED talk about it.

✎ nerd!jimin who once walked past your classroom while you were giving a presentation and literally backed up to stand by the door so he could listen in. heart pounding. smiling like an idiot every time you made a joke.

✎ nerd!jimin who prays you’ll ask him for help in class. he wants to explain the quadratic formula to you. he wants you to say “you’re so smart, jimin.” he’d black out if you did.

✎ nerd!jimin who saw his first marvel movie in theaters at age 10 and it literally altered his brain chemistry. he walked out thinking he was iron man. his mom had to drag him away from the cardboard standee.

✎ nerd!jimin who secretly fantasizes about watching every marvel movie with you in chronological order. on his couch. a blanket, snacks, you asking him questions everytime a new face appears on the screen. him explaining the lore. you leaning on his shoulder during thor: love and thunder.

✎ nerd!jimin who literally forgets how to breathe when you’re near. he has to manually inhale. “okay, jimin. inhale. now smile. no, not like a serial killer. relax. look cool.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets stupidly jealous way too often. he bites the inside of his cheek and taps his pencil like he’s trying to stab the table. his jealousy doesn’t look explosive—it looks like fidgeting, clenched fists, murmuring “whatever, he’s not even that funny.”

✎ nerd!jimin who gets caught staring at you and does that abnoxiously awkward thing where he looks away too fast and pretends to read. it’s actually a sticky note he wrote to himself that says, “finish chem hw dumbass.”

✎ nerd!jimin who bumps into you in the hallway and apologizes nine times before realizing it was barely a graze. “sorry! i wasn’t looking. my fault. are you okay? i didn’t—okay. sorry. i’ll just—okay. sorry.”

✎ nerd!jimin who organizes his closet by color, category, and season. all his socks are folded into perfect little cubes.

✎ nerd!jimin who fidgets constantly. with his pen, his sleeves, the drawstring of his hoodie. if he’s concentrating, he’ll chew the inside of his cheek or bounce his leg so hard the table shakes.

✎ nerd!jimin who gets the hiccups when he’s nervous. you smile at him for too long? hic. you sit next to him during a lecture? hic. he wants to cry and crawl into his backpack.

✎ nerd!jimin who thinks loving you must be some kind of secret superpower. something he was cursed or blessed with. something that makes every day a little harder—and a lot better.

lulu speaks pt2: hi 👋🏼👋🏼 nobody asked for this but I wanted this to happen. and you can’t stop me. nobody can. never. NEVERRRRR MWAHAHAHAHAHA

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🛹 SKATERBOY!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (3)

warnings: rodrick heffley-anna coleman (freaky friday) crossover. set somewhere between 1994-2006. THERE IS SMUT DOWN THERE! reader discretion is advised.

lulu speaks: EVERYONE THANK THE LOVELY @rosequartzz77 FOR REQUESTING MORE OF HIM. he’s actually my favorite out of all jimin AUs i’ve birthed thank yew. here is PART 1 and PART 2 of him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is the kind of boyfriend you tell your daughters about 20 years later, when they’re having boy problems. you tell them everything—every rebellious, likely illegal moment. they’re appalled, to say the least. the most appalling part is that your same eyeliner-wearing, cigarette-smoking ex-boyfriend is their father.

★ skaterboy!jimin who lets you paint his nails black in your bedroom while he lays sprawled out on your rug, talking shit about your teachers and letting his fingers curl around your thigh like it’s second nature.

★ skaterboy!jimin who always tells you you’re his girl. always. doesn’t matter if it’s in front of friends or strangers or his deadbeat stepdad—“that’s my girl,” he says with a cocky grin, like he’s got the whole world wrapped around your finger.

★ skaterboy!jimin who has a burn scar on his forearm from a shitty house party bonfire where he tried to impress you by lighting two joints at once. You kissed the burn that night. He’s never shut up about it since.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes zones out mid-convo just staring at your mouth. doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until you go, “you good?” and he just mumbles, “uh-huh... just thinking about something…” (he was thinking about kissing you until you cried, actually.)

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets handsy in his sleep. pulls you against him even in the middle of the night, hand gripping your waist, one thigh thrown over yours, hips twitching when you shift in his hold.

★ skaterboy!jimin who uses your name as his username on AIM. he got it just to do that.

★ skaterboy!jimin who wears your hair tie on his wrist even though it cuts off his circulation. he uses it as a way to flaunt you, like girl-repellent. goes, “yeah, this is my GIRLFRIEND’S.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets distracted mid-makeout by your lip gloss. “what flavor is that?” and then proceeds to lick it off your mouth instead of waiting for an answer.

★ skaterboy!jimin who absolutely did not shut up about you to his boys when you first started dating him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who fails PE because he keeps skipping class to go walk you to lunch. he’s sweaty, shirt untucked, bruised, but he’s there at the double doors every. single. day.

★ skaterboy!jimin who gets moody when you laugh too hard at another guy’s joke and then sulks dramatically on the curb until you sit beside him and kiss his cheek.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes calls you at 1AM from the payphone outside the 7/11 just to hear your voice. “did you know i love you? just needed to say it. that’s all. you’re hot. okay bye.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who sucks at math but volunteers to be your partner, because why wouldn’t he? does none of the work. just stares at you. tries to look cool while pretending to solve for x.

★ skaterboy!jimin who—despite being a cool and intimidating guy—actually gets horny over you bossing him around. he’ll do quite literally whatever you say, and he’ll do it with a smile on his face (and a boner in his pants).

★ skaterboy!jimin who will absolutely pull your hair when you give him head. most likely in his car or his room; chest heaving, hair sticking to his forehead, the sight of you bobbing up and down on his length only pushing him to tug harder.

★ skaterboy!jimin who has one kink: you. always you. chewing gum? ripping tape with your teeth? checking yourself out in a mirror? he’s hard. instantly. “i hate you. i hate you, baby,” he’ll groan as he palms himself. “you don’t even try to turn me on.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who has a serious oral fixation. fingers in your mouth. tongue around yours. cigarettes shared between kisses. he’ll lick whipped cream off your finger in public and smirk like, “what? i’m being sweet.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who adores when you ride his thigh. he sits back and watches you with that lazy smirk, hands behind his head, letting you use him while he flexes just right. “you look so pretty losing it on my leg, sunshine.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who sometimes looks at you when you’re not paying attention like he’s about to write a goddamn love song. like you’re art. like you’re his favorite kind of disaster.

lulu speaks: uploading smut is so awkward like hey here are my insane & horny thoughts of a guy who doesn’t even exist????hope you enjoy?????

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📚 HIGH OFF YOU — PJM

IN WHICH: a certain nerd gets peer-pressured into taking an edible. then perfect little you comes along, vowing to be his caretaker for the night.

pairing: high!nerd!jimin x sober!popular!reader

warnings: mentions of edibles, weed. alcohol. houseparty. peer pressure (lighthearted edition). first time getting high. sober caretaker. fem!reader. you will want to read THIS for more context—highly recommended, not mandatory.

word count: 595

lulu speaks: this was impulsive and dumb but it’s here so i ask that you take very good care of it. he’s such a cutie??? also reader’s lowkey a baddie and i need her but anyways

the house is alive.

no—possessed, really. the music is too loud, the air too sticky, everyone looks like they’re in a troye sivan-induced trance.

and jimin?

jimin is vibrating and overstimulated beyond belief. he’s about a breath away from passing out on the couch.

he didn’t even really mean to take the edible.

it just sort of…happened—passed into his hand by some senior jock while taehyung yelled “DON’T BE LAME!” in the distance, and jungkook made direct eye contact and said, “YOLO.”

(which…was weirdly persuasive.)

so, here he is.

halfway into orbit. melting into the peeled leather couch. alone.

until you appear.

“jimin?”

your voice cuts through the bass like magic. a bright, perfect sound that makes him peek up—and oh god, it’s you. it’s really you.

he pushes his foggy glasses back up after having slid down the entire bridge of his nose.

your tiny black dress glints under the strobe lights. your hair brushes your shoulders. your brows are furrowed in genuine concern.

he sits up straighter. (well, tries.)

“did someone seriously give you an edible?” you question, crouching next to him like some righteous angel. “what the hell is wrong with them? you look like you’re seeing stars.”

“i am seeing stars,” he mumbles, dreamily.

you sigh, loud and dramatic. “who gave it to you?”

he points vaguely in the direction of the jocks.

you stand. hands on hips. eyes full of fury.

and jimin—bless his dumb little stoned heart—just watches you absolutely chew out three upperclassmen, and suddenly he’s not sure if the room is spinning from the edible or from the sight of you calling people out on his behalf.

by the time you come back, cheeks flushed and eyes sharp, he’s smiling like a drunk puppy.

“you’re scary,” he tells you with wide eyes.

“you’re lucky i found you,” you shoot back. “come on.”

“huh?”

“come with me, genius. i’m not letting you out of my sight.”

you don’t give him time to argue. just thread your fingers around his wrist and tug him up gently, guiding him through the chaos. he stumbles a bit, leans into your shoulder once or twice, and you…let him.

and from that point on, you stick to him like glue.

you sit next to him on the floor during some game of king’s cup. get him water. shoo away the girl who tried to give him a drink. wrap a blanket around his shoulders when he says he’s cold. take a video of him explaining the plot of finding nemo with red eyes and reconciles animated hand gestures. you smile every time he smiles.

and jimin—still floating, still warm—just watches you with big, dazed eyes, a stupid smile on his face, and one constant thought looping in his brain:

she’s so pretty.

she’s so nice to me.

i would give her the moon if she asked.

is that painting talking to me?

later, as the party winds down and you’re helping him sit on the pool coping, he blurts, “you smell like smirnoff.”

you pause. look at him. laugh—really laugh.

“and you smell like doritos.”

he doesn’t even care. he just giggles.

and when you give him that look—that sweet, curious, affectionate little look like you’ve never seen anyone quite like him before—he swears his brain melts into mush right then and there.

the sound of the pool water trickling into the skimmer is suddenly a few decibels louder, the muffled booming of something ke$ha seemingly more distant.

a smile creeps its way onto your face. his eyes literally form hearts.

he’s never taking an edible again.

lulu speaks pt2: me if there were awards for most rushed endings: 🥇🏆🏅🎖️BEWARE!! the cai bot tagged below does NOT follow this prompt/scenario.

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⚔️ IN ARMOR, ENAMORED — PJM

REQUEST: “no plssss my heart hurts for him, i wanna see knight jimin's reaction when she finally says that he IS the prince for her. HER PRINCE IN SHINING ARMOR ASDFGHJKL😭😭😭”

pairing: knight!jimin x princess!reader

warnings: crazy yearning, he’s down BADD. you will want to read THIS to get a bit more context—highly recommended, not needed.

word count: 768

lulu speaks: so this is super unrealistic. if ur a history guy dont come for me bc this is NAWT how it would’ve gone down. anyways this is an anon request, here u go queenie heehee.

the night’s air is thick with woodsmoke, curling through the palace corridors. the highly-mounted torches flicker against marble columns, casting warm light across your silk gown as your footsteps echo, quick and certain, down the eastern wing.

you know where to find him.

he keeps to silence when he’s not by your side. he sharpens his blade where the guards cannot see his trembling hands. and tonight, he’s there again. alone in the armory, his tunic unlaced at the throat, chest rising and falling with the fury of restraint.

you stop in the doorway. he doesn’t hear you at first.

his back is facing you, one hand gripping the table, the other clenching around the hilt of his sword. the torchlight casts a glow along the ridges of his shoulders, the curve of his jaw, the sweat at the nape of his neck. you watch him breathe.

you take a step forward.

he startles when he sees you.

“y-your highness—thou shouldst not be here—” he says, voice caught between panic and awe, already dropping to one knee. “forgive me, if I have offended—if i have looked upon thee too long—”

“sir jimin,” you whisper.

his head lifts tantalizingly slowly. he doesn’t dare rise, not without your command.

you approach slowly, step by step, until your slipper brushes the tip of his heavy boot. his breath stutters.

you reach down gently and lift his chin with your fingers.

his lips part.

his eyes are windows to his soul, to everything he’s buried. his love. his longing. the desperation he’s fought to keep buried after swearing loyalty to the crown.

“there is no prince in all the kingdoms of the realm,” you murmur, “who could ever be more noble, more loyal, or more breathtaking than thou art, jimin.”

his hands twitch on his thighs. his adam’s apple bobs.

“you are the man i would choose,” you whisper softly, “even if the crown forbade it. even if the monarchy burned for it.”

he finally rises, but only to take one faltering step back. his hand flies to his chest, as if grasping to hold in the ache.

“my lady… thou speakest with mercy, but i am no man fit for thy hand,” he stammers. “i am thy shield. thy sword. i am not permitted to want—”

you reach for him.

he lets you touch him—your fingers curling over his cheek, following the corner of his trembling mouth.

“but I want thee,” you say. “i want no crown without thee beside me.”

his eyes flutter. the silence is thick with tension, with tears of yearning laced behind it. you see his lips move before they open again, voice hoarse with disbelief.

“say it again,” he whispers. “please… i beg. let me hear it once more.”

“i want thee, i need thee,” you repeat, firmer now. “if it takes running from this castle and leaving behind the very throne waiting to hold my weight, i shall do so. but that is unecessary.”

you swear you see his eyes flicker with desperation.

“because I’ve spoken to my father. he will not deny us.” a beat. “we are free to wed.”

he stares at you like he’s dreaming. his eyes are low and dopey, the usually steady beat of his heart falters. his palms are sweat wider than ever before, his chest heaving with heavy breaths despite his throat empty of words.

then—he falls. literally falls. to his knees again, this time with a choked cry, burying his face against your waist, his arms around you like he’s clinging to salvation. his nose nuzzles into your abdomen, eyes shut like he can’t quite grasp the fact that he’s living this moment.

“my angel,” he breathes, pressing a kiss over your stomach, your hip, your wrist. “my beloved… i have wanted thee from the first moment i beheld thy face. i have stumbled in silence for so long—”

your fingers weave through his hair.

“then be silent no more.”

when he looks up again, his eyes are wet with tears and twinkling like stars.

“command me,” he whispers. “to love thee, to worship thee, to be thine husband—and i shall obey for the rest of my days.”

even in his most vulnerable moment of desperation, he wishes nothing more than to follow the orders of the crown.

and when he kisses you at last—it’s not rebellious. it’s not wrong.

it’s beautfiul. it’s exactly what he was destined for.

and at that moment, it felt like the heavens themselves had been waiting for this moment to breathe life into his lungs.

at that moment, he was alive.

lulu speaks pt2: YAYYY I HOPE THIS IS OK. also...i had to consult my sister to make sure i was using the correct old english pronouns…that was an interesting conversation LMFAO the things i do for y’all 🤬 i love it tho heeehe

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⚔️ KNIGHT!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: yearning and pining. knight!jimin x princess!reader. if ur heartstrings aren’t tugging, i haven’t done my job.

lulu speaks: request by @rosequartzz77 !! i actually had a namjoon ver. of this in my drafts as well as a cai bot on my page soooo !! check that out if you’d like.

☾ knight!jimin who drops to one knee and bows his head every time he addresses you, even when you beg him not to be so formal.

☾ knight!jimin who always stands just a little too close, hand on the hilt of his sword, eyes scanning the crowd like he’d fight off an army for you.

☾ knight!jimin who calls you “your highness,” but it burns on his tongue—because he wants to say your name like a lover would.

☾ knight!jimin who bowed so deeply his forehead nearly touched your slipper the day he was appointed your guard. you gently told him to rise—and when his eyes met yours, it was the first time he ever forgot to breathe in full armor. he swore loyalty to the crown, but it was you he meant in his heart.

☾ knight!jimin who sharpens his sword when suitors arrive. you’ll hear the angry thrashing of steel against stone echoing through the ballroom form a nearby armory.

☾ knight!jimin who secretly teaches you how to wield a dagger just in case he isn’t there to protect you someday.

☾ knight!jimin who refuses to leave your side when you’re ill. not for food, not for sleep, not for orders. when you wake, pale and weak, he kisses your hand softly while you pretend to still be asleep.

☾ knight!jimin who turns away when you undress for a royal fitting, face red and jaw tight, even though your lady-in-waiting assures him it’s routine. he simply says, voice low and strained, “i dare not look upon her in such state. ’tis not mine right.”

☾ knight!jimin who would carry you through mud, over rivers, into fire—without hesitation. when your carriage breaks, and you jokingly say “well, someone must carry me,” he doesn’t laugh. he simply lifts you in his arms, voice low: “as thou commandest, my princess.”

☾ knight!jimin who steps in front of a lord’s outstretched hand when the man tries to touch your waist. the man scoffs, “i meant no offense.” and jimin bows, cold and sharp, eyes hard: “and yet, offense was taken. her highness is not to be touched without leave.”

☾ knight!jimin who sees you in a gown stitched in gold. that night, he dreams of unlacing it—only to wake before his lips ever reach your skin.

☾ knight!jimin who walks a step behind you in the gardens, carrying your cloak, your books, a flower he picked just in case you liked the color.

☾ knight!jimin who falls asleep seated at your bedside when you’re unwell, fingers curled loosely around yours on top of the covers, armor long since abandoned.

☾ knight!jimin who trains beside the royal pond, shirt discarded, hoping you’ll pass by and notice—but never bold enough to call you over.

☾ knight!jimin who when you’re away for a week, his bed remains untouched. he trains until his knees give out, collapses in armor, dreams of the way your fingertips grazed his cheek months ago.

☾ knight!jimin who would give you everything. his sword. his life. his soul. but the one thing he won’t take—unless you command him to—is your heart. because he still believes a princess deserves a prince, not a guard’s love.

lulu speaks pt2: um HI I LOVE HIM. REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND WELCOMED 😌

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📚NERD!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: literally none lol. fluff, yearning, pining, slight jealousy. he has a fat freaking crush on reader 😇 he’s really cute idk what else there is to say

lulu speaks: y’all it’s not funny i ❤️ nerds. also i’ve had this bot on my page forever and i FINALLY decided to formally present him to y’all. i am VERY much considering making this into a mini series/oneshot collection. lmk if ur interested!!

✎ nerd!jimin who aggressively color-codes his notes for “practicality”, when it actually helps him calm his anxiety.

✎ nerd!jimin who talks to himself when he’s doing his math homework—muttering to himself while rubbing his temples. “come on, jimin, you know this. you’re not stupid.”

✎ nerd!jimin who collects vintage marvel comics and prides himself in bragging about them when he’s in the shop to browse for more—it’s the only time he’s not humble. “yeah, that’s a first edition. wanna touch it?”

✎ nerd!jimin who takes forever to fall asleep because his mind is a constantly-running think machine. 24/7. does he fix his mom’s laptop or the wi-fi router first? did the bidding go up for that original fantastic four comic?

✎ nerd!jimin who is a true momma’s boy at heart. not in a creepy way, but in the way where he’ll lean into her warm hugs and let her fix his ruffled hair—but also shy away from her cheek kisses in front of his classmates.

✎ nerd!jimin who subconsciously memorized your schedule. he wasn’t even trying to be creepy—he actually hated he did. he just happened to see you walk in and out of your classes, and it stuck with him.

✎ nerd!jimin who changes his route on campus to walk past you. he’s missed his bus on multiple occasions because of this.

✎ nerd!jimin who gets nervous when someone mentions your name in passing. cheeks all pink and warm, heart racing, knee bouncing up and down.

✎ nerd!jimin who owns every type of rubix cube under the sun. his favorite? his first 3x3 cube. the paint’s all chipped, but he loves it just the same.

✎ nerd!jimin who bought a copy of a book he overheard you talking about. he has yet to read it, only because he’s scared he’ll get too attached to it if he loves it. (spoiler alert: he would love anything you love).

✎ nerd!jimin who gets jealous of your male friends. he gets in his own head. like, “who even is that guy? why’s she laughing? is he funny? i’m funny. i think.”

✎ nerd!jimin who likes your posts within the first two minutes, never commenting. just lurking.

✎ nerd!jimin who wears cologne because someone said you liked guys who smelled nice. hyperfixates on it, his search history filled with things like “how much cologne is too much?”

✎ nerd!jimin who has practiced what he’d say if you ever found out he likes you. has never gotten past “so… uh.”

✎ nerd!jimin who wonders if you’d ever like him back. decides probably not. gets sad. listens to sad violin lo-fi.

✎ nerd!jimin who absolutely yaps his friends’ ears off about you. they’re sick of it, but will always be around for his one-sided girl problems.

✎ nerd!jimin who told his mom about you. that precious, cardigan-wearing, kimchi-jjigae-making lady always giving him the same piece of advice; “just go talk to her, jimin.”

✎ nerd!jimin who once got so flustered he said “I love y—you’re… you’re welcome.” then didn’t sleep for three nights.

✎ nerd!jimin who fantasizes about holding your hand. just your hand. and then he has to physically pull himself back into reality, eyes back on his chem textbook.

lulu speaks pt2: focus on school kicking my ass ❌ write another jimin au ✅

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🛹 SKATERBOY!JIMIN HEADCANNONS (2)

warnings: rodrick heffley-anna coleman (freaky friday) crossover. set somewhere between 1994-2006. mentions of smoking, sex, etc. THERE IS SOME SMUT DOWN THERE! reader discretion is advised.

lulu speaks: HE’S BACK HE’S BACK EVERYONE CLAP! *bows* thank you thank you 🙂‍↕️ i missed him too ❤️‍🩹

★ skaterboy!jimin who will literally spend hours practicing a new trick just to impress you.

★ skaterboy!jimin who keeps a polaroid of you taped inside his locker, right above a Nirvana flyer. he kisses his first two fingers and taps it before every test he takes. he still fails them all.

★ skaterboy!jimin who won’t ever admit to being a bit of an artist, but will surely speak it through the way he’ll doodle all over you in sharpie. skulls, eyes, wings, a mock old-school heart tattoo with his name in the middle.

★ skaterboy!jimin who swears up and down he “hates people”, but somehow charms everyone’s little siblings. he will always deny his sweet heart. but you see it—you know it.

★ skaterboy!jimin who rubs his cherry lollipop over his plump lips like it’s lipgloss, but will proceed to act like he’s above using lip care—he likes your lip balm, though. a lot.

★ skaterboy!jimin who calls you “his courtney” in hopes you’ll call him “your kurt”. you never do. he’ll never stop.

★ skaterboy!jimin who will try his hardest to teach you how to skate, one step at a time. his hands tight in yours, watching as you defy the laws of inertia time and time again.

★ skaterboy!jimin who thinks that slow dancing to “Crazy” by Aerosmith is the most romantic thing ever.

★ skaterboy!jimin who makes it his life’s mission to convince you to get matching couples tattoos. when you finally come around, you’re not the one whining and bitching in the tattoo parlor.

★ skaterboy!jimin who takes you out to the gas station after your curfew, feeding you shitty powdered donuts, kissing the powdered sugar off your lips.

★ skaterboy!jimin who lands the cleanest ollie you’ve ever seen, skates over to you with a cheeky grin. he gives you a fist bump, immediately lifting your hand and kissing it afterwards.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is always taking you to random garage concerts, claiming he “knows the drummer.” you recognize no one, yet you have the time of your life every. single. time.

★ skaterboy!jimin who takes the healing wrap off his tattoo as soon as he out of the artist’s eyeline, flexing the poorly-healing “NEVERMIND” tattoo by taking off his shirt everytime he’s around you for the next month.

★ skaterboy!jimin who sketches your initials on his board’s grip tape so many times it’s barely usable.

★ skaterboy!jimin who loves when you straddle him in his passenger seat. his fingers drum along your hips, lazy and slow, kissing you between every word. “you’re so fuckin’ pretty like this. wanna stay here all night.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who loves when you pull his hair. his moans go high-pitched, almost surprised, when your fingers yank—“shit—do that again, fuck.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who wolf whistles at you everytime you dress a little skimpier. he swears his mouth waters when your shorts ride up—almost like it’s on purpose. “now you’re just being mean,” he whines with a pout.

★ skaterboy!jimin who always, always lets you finish first. every time. “gotta take care of my girl. nothing else matters.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who eats you out like it’s a competition. face buried in your thighs, tongue mean and unrelenting, like he’s got something to prove.

★ skaterboy!jimin who insists on fucking you in the backseat of his car while Nirvana blasts from his busted stereo. windows fogged up, your leg tossed over the console, his voice in your ear—“be loud, baby. no one can hear you over Kurt.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who records you moaning for him on a scratchy-ass cassette tape, jerking off to it later while whispering your name under his breath.

★ skaterboy!jimin who asks you to take polaroids of your nail scratches on his back, every. damn. time. he keeps at least one in his back pocket at all times.

★ skaterboy!jimin who says “attagirl” every chance he gets. his hips rolling into you when he thrusts? “attagirl.” you finally let him into your room through the window past midnight? “attagirl.” you take a longer drag than usual from your shared cig? “attagirl.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who would break every rule, every bone, every promise he’s ever made—just to keep you safe, loved, worshipped.

lulu speaks pt2: this is very short n sweet (haha sabrina reference) but BOY is he hot. sigh. #needthatrealbad

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🥁BANDMATE!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: he’s lwk an asshole. garageband!au. bassguitarist!reader. mid 2000s. smoking. tae, kook, & yoongs are the other members. (emo bangtan save me)

lulu speaks: um hi🧍🏻‍♀️very slight variation of skaterboy!jimin bc im still at the restaurant. he’s rodrick heffley in a different font 😌 ( a bit more of a dick)

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who drums like he’s fighting someone—sticks flying, muscles flexed, jaw clenched, sweat dripping down his temple—and then he throws you a cocky little grin mid-song. you die.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who taps his drumsticks on everything. his thigh, your kitchen countertop, your spine when he walks behind you.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who taught you how to light a cigarette once a few years ago, and ended up liking how the smoke curled out of your mouth just a little too much. now, he always lights them for you without warning—placing one between your open lips mid-sentence, flicking his lighter, watching you like it’s art.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who calls you “bass bitch” when he’s being annoying, but if someone outside the band even utters an insult your way, he’ll come back grinning with a busted lip.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who bites back a laugh whenever you make a joke. he thinks you’re hilarious, he’s just got a reputation to uphold.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who insists on sharing cigarettes with you because it’s “half the lung damage”. it’s really because he likes the taste your lipgloss leaves on the head of the cigarette.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who lounges around your house after rehearsal. see, it’d be normal since your other bandmates do it—jungkook curled up in the living room couch, yoongi petting your family cat, taehyung rummaging through your pantry—but of course it’s not normal. because jimin insists on sitting on your countertop…shirtless.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who hates when you flirt with other guys, which he makes half-apparent with little comments like “he looks like a douche”, “does he even know what real music is?” later that night, he plays his drums harder than he ever has before. he can’t meet your eyes. callouses form on the parts of his hand where he grips his sticks.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who almost missed his starting cue when you wore ripped fishnets and combat boots to a gig. after the show, you muttered “what the hell was that?”. he didn’t talk the whole ride home. wouldn’t look you in the eye, either.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who will say things like, “that’s an ugly ass shirt,” and then proceed to stare you down like you are the only woman on the planet.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who once got caught sketching you in the margins of a setlist by yoongi. he didn’t even look up, just said, “you better keep your mouth shut if you wanna keep your hands.”

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who carved your initials in his nth pair of drumsticks. he took care of them like they were made of gold.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who smudges his eyeliner just right.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who insists on burning you new CDs every few weeks. they’re full of songs that are inside jokes, sprinkled with some of his faves. sandwiched in between songs are short voice recordings of him either yapping your ear off or mumbling lyrics he thought of when he was stoned.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who always smells like that shitty, stupid cologne he stole from his older brother.

𖤐 bandmate!jimin who silently admires the way you manage to play the most toe-curling guitar solo with your bare fingers—sometimes with fresh, short acrylics on.

lulu speaks pt2: hi i don’t like this ok bye

masterlist. navigation.

🛹 SKATERBOY!JIMIN HEADCANNONS

warnings: rodrick heffley-anna coleman (freaky friday) crossover. set somewhere between 1994-2006. he’s also never beating the bitch allegations (no version of jimin is). mentions of smoking, etc. IT GETS A LITTLE SPICY DOWN THERE! reader discretion is advised.

lulu speaks: aka what boredom and loneliness does to a girl. also yes ik vapes weren’t popularized until later but the sentence sounded good 💔

★ skaterboy!jimin who is rarely ever spotted in class.

★ skaterboy!jimin who always has some stupid little injury. bruised hip from trying to ollie a shopping cart. split knuckles from a rough landing off his stolen skateboard.

★ skaterboy!jimin who grins with blood on his teeth like it’s a flex, the painful aftermath of a stupid fight.

★ skaterboy!jimin who drives a beat-up hand-me-down car that smells like weed, sweat, and cinnamon gum. it’s a mess inside—burnt CDs everywhere, ripped seats, duct-taped glovebox—but it’s so him.

★ skaterboy!jimin who once kissed you in a gas station parking lot while Nirvana blasted from his car stereo. it tasted like peach vape and rebellion. you swore you wouldn’t let it happen again. It happened the next day.

★ skaterboy!jimin keeps a polaroid of you in his wallet, maybe half-naked. when you ask, he just shrugs and says, “you looked hot. why wouldn’t I keep it?”

★ skaterboy!jimin who once showed up at your window completely drenched from the rain, hoodie soaked through, bruised and breathless. no explanation. just, “i needed to see you.”

★ skaterboy!jimin who climbs through your window like he’s never heard the concept of a door.

★ skaterboy!jimin who keeps his helmet covered in stickers. you put a sparkly heart one on it once. he pretended to hate it. never took it off.

★ skaterboy!jimin who’s flicking a cigarette off the curb one second, the next he’s curled up in your lap like a cat, nuzzling into your tummy with his busted-up knuckles holding your thigh. “only sleep good when I’m with you,” he murmurs.

★ skaterboy!jimin who loves when you’re laid out on his bed in his band tee, legs over his shoulders, his grip bruising your hips as he devours you—eyes dark, lips slick, hair messy from the way your hands gripped for dear life.

★ skaterboy!jimin who had crawled in through your bedroom door at midnight on a school night. his excuse? he just “missed you”. bullshit. he had you laying down on your own bed, chain dangling from his neck as his arms propped himself up form either side of you.

★ skaterboy!jimin who was very obviously hated by your parents.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is kinda dumb in other subjects, brilliant in art class.

★ skaterboy!jimin who will doodle on his desk, your hand, or his jeans—skulls, roses, hearts with your initials in them.

★ skaterboy!jimin who would turn the world upside down for you. mention someone giving you a hard time? he’s already cracking his knuckles. doesn’t care who it is—he’ll throw hands and come back grinning with a split lip like it was worth it.

★ skaterboy!jimin who steals little trinkets just to give them to you. a cutesy keychain, a lighter, a lollipop. he offers it to you like it’s precious, saying, “this made me think of you,”

★ skaterboy!jimin who only shows face at school so he can be around you. carrying your things for you, doodling you from the other end of the classroom, begging you to skip class with him—only for you two to sneak into an empty bathroom stall to makeout.

★ skaterboy!jimin who is a little rough around the edges. not everyone’s cup of tea, but he was yours, and that was all either one of you cared about.

lulu speaks (pt2): ok it’s official i’m in love w this loser. cai bot coming soon bc unfortunately i’m such a slut for him 💔

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