Kei X Reader - Blog Posts

cat and mouse — yandere tsukishima kei x f. reader

warnings: noncon, fingering, exhibitionism, degradation, rumors

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When He Falls Asleep on You (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m back to my same old spiel of “it’s been a while” and “I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in (insert time) days!” Truth is, I just haven’t had the time to write like I know some of y’all haven’t had the time to read. However, I’m happy to be back, even if it is just for this one post. I hope y’all are doing good, and enjoy!

Word count: 1005

Bokuto Koutarou: 

While his falling asleep on you is usually an accident (considering it’s much easier to admire you while he’s awake), he certainly always makes the best of the situation. 

He nods off and his head slumps to your shoulder and instinctively you want to push him away because you just know him drooling is an inevitability but, no, a sleeping Bokuto is an adorable Bokuto.

He mumbles in his sleep. You’ve learned that from experience.

Black and white hairs tickle your neck but you don’t dare to scratch partly because one of his arms is already wrapped around you locking your own against your sides and partly because waking him would be a crime upon nature. 

It only tickles for a few moments anyway because in a matter of seconds he’s curling in deeper, snuggling his forehead against your throat while his legs clamber into your lap.

It’s awkward. It’s hot. It’s not quite a boyfriend cuddling his girlfriend and more so a koala straddling a tree branch. 

But it’s a classic Bokuto cuddle-bordering-on-suffocation situation so you settle in for what will be an awkward, hot bus ride. 

And eventually you lean your head on his and fall asleep because, eh, why not.

Konoha totally has pictures that he sells to Bokuto later

Tsukishima Kei: 

More often than not, when Tsukishima Kei falls asleep on the bus, he goes full turtle. 

Blond head perched back on the top of the bus seat, headphones around his neck while his mouth hangs open in a soundless snore. This dude is usually conked. 

(He’s learned to sit near the front of the bus lest he risk another session of “What can Kageyama and Tanaka throw into Tsukishima’s mouth?”)

So when his head lolls to the side and rests ever so delicately on the edge of your shoulder, you freeze like a deer in headlights. 

This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, so don’t you dare screw it up. 

However… his glasses press really hard into the bony part of your shoulder. 

At first, you try to suffer through the pain, taking timed, measured breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. 

Then you contemplate humming to distract yourself, but you drop that strategy the instant he twitches on your first note. 

It’s too much. Come on, there’s no way there isn’t a bruise there by now!

The constant digging of plastic into your bone is insufferable at this point. You needed to eradicate the problem if this rare event was to continue.

You inch your right hand up ever so slowly, keeping your breathing steady so as to not frighten the flighty creature resting upon you. 

You turn your head just a touch and your chin brushes the hair atop his head, but he doesn’t disturb one bit at the slight tousle--thank God.

With two pinching fingers you grab the frames and remove them with the delicate touch of butterfly wings. 

Almost there… almost… have them...

Then Tsukishima stirs. 

“Screw it.” You yank the glasses away and drop them into your lap before returning your hand to the side of his face. 

“YN, what are you-” he cuts off in a grunt as you shove his head back onto your shoulder. 

“Shhhh.”

“YN.” His voice is muffled from his face being smushed into your shirt.

“Shhhh. Don’t ruin it.”

“YN-”

“Escape is futile.” You pat his cheek as the rest of his body squirms like a fish caught in a net. “Accept your fate, Tsukki.”

Iwaizumi Hajime: 

Sticky. Sweaty. Warm. 

You have no doubt that as soon as Iwaizumi wakes up, you will have to peel your shirt from his face like a sticker. 

But you figure he deserves the rest. He played a great game and is understandably worn out. 

And you’d be damned if you didn’t want to play pillow for him from time to time. 

No, he’s not your boyfriend, but you certainly wish he was. 

One of his hands fell onto your thigh the second he drifted off and your own hovers over it, an eagle waiting to land. 

God, he’s so warm. Like a personal heater. The bus was pretty cold too considering Iwaizumi had the bright idea of leaving your seat’s window open for whatever reason. 

The first time you complained about the cold, he offered you his jacket. However, two seconds after his offer your cheeks were burning enough to warm the rest of your body so refused. 

And now here you were, almost losing consciousness yourself on account of how comfortable you’d grown in this position. 

A nap… surely a nap wouldn’t hurt. 

Today’s game had asked for a five a.m. arrival at the school, one seven hour bus ride down to the opponent, and one returning. It was understandable that you were exhausted yourself. 

The eagle landed and your drooping eyes slipped closed. Iwaizumi’s hair--so soft--felt like the perfect cushion as you slipped into warm, deep sleep. 

The soft pressure on Iwaizumi’s head allowed for a small smile to grow on his face. 

Fucking finally.

Just one eye peered open and though he couldn’t see much, your hand resting flat on his just so happened to be the perfect sight. 

He waited until your breathing truly evened out before moving, slowly flipping his hand palm up and intertwining your fingers between his. 

His eyes began to blur once more and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze before giving in to the tiredness completely, grinning at the soft sigh you released. 

Yes. Finally.

Pretending to Moan Another Guy’s Name (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: Hehehe, I’m s i c k. Anyways, here’s a rly long headcanon that I’ve been thinking about writing for a while. Some are short and some are long, but hey, that’s life🤷‍♀️ Enjoy! (Side note: been a while since I did a milestone, but hey, this one’s huge--happy 4k y’all💜!!)

Word count: 2705

Oikawa Tooru: 

He’s dead silent, waiting to hear that name fall from your lips one more time just to make sure he wasn’t having a nightmare. 

“Ushiwaka…”

Nope. He wasn’t. He pinched himself five times to prove it. 

Oikawa can’t stand the thought of you dreaming about one of his greatest enemies. His hands curl into fists and his bottom lip gets drawn in by his teeth and, if you hadn’t been so busy trying to fend off your own laughter, you might’ve heard the small whine leaving the back of his throat. 

The bed shifts with Oikawa’s weight leaving it imbalanced and just when you prepare yourself to stop him in his tracks with a giggle, the bedroom door slams hard enough to rattle framed photographs of you and him on the walls. 

Okay… so maybe you had gone too far. 

Stunned into silence, it takes you a couple minutes to recover from your boyfriend’s outburst. When you finally find the strength to breach the cold air of one a.m. goosebumps rise along your skin and you decide to wrap a blanket around your shoulders. 

Lord knows damage control with Oikawa always required a solid chunk of time. 

You find him in the kitchen of the apartment, seated on a stool with his elbows propped on the oak-finished island with two fistfuls of hair and a downcast face. 

Unsurprisingly enough, your prank no longer felt like the genius idea you’d thought it was three hours ago. 

“Tooru?” Your voice is small so as to not disturb him, but his lack of movement makes you think you have almost been too successful in your efforts. 

“Tooru,” you move to lay your hand on his shoulder, “please.” However, the second you make contact he flinches away like you’d burned him. The room is silent once more, but as you keep your hand hovering over his back, you hear a quiet sniffle. 

Oh God, what have I done?

Without another word, you grasp both ends of the blanket and wrap both it and yourself around Oikawa, attaching yourself to his back with a tight enough grip that he can’t shake you off, which, trust me, he certainly tries his best. 

Like a fish out of water, he writhes and thrashes in your hold and in that split second that you think How the hell do I get him to stop this? he’s managed to wriggle himself so hard that the stool and you behind him lose balance, toppling to the floor like a Jenga tower. 

“Oh shit!”

Oikawa, ever so graceful, lands directly on top of you, his lean shoulders crashing hard enough into your chest that you wheeze out the oxygen trapped inside. The stool almost spun and clattered right on top of both of you before Oikawa kicked it away hard enough that it crashed against the metal fridge and slid all the way out into the living room. 

In the dead of night, the noises were loud enough to increase the ringing in your ears that had started when your head slapped against the linoleum floor. Oikawa was still squirming against you but for an entirely different reason now. 

“Fuck--YN, YN! Are you okay?” Still sitting on top of you, another breath gets squeezed out of your chest the second Oikawa rolls over to straddle you. One hand lifts your head, palming frantically at your scalp while the other shoves under your shirt to feel your ribs. 

“Could you,” you choke out, “get off me before I answer that?”

A startled scoff leaves his mouth before he slides off you and onto the floor at your side, helping you sit up while still trailing his eyes up and down your form to search for injury. Not that he could see much--the only light in the apartment was filtering through the kitchen window and came from the quarter moon in the sky. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” You bat away his hands but can’t stop your own from trailing up and rubbing your temples. “Are you okay?”

It didn’t take a genius to figure out his cheeks were damp with tears. From the way he sniffled to the way he blinked every .5 seconds, you knew tonight had been a sudden emotional roller coaster for him. 

“Yeah,” he glanced away nodding. “Yep, all good here.” 

“Bullshit.”

Oikawa gave you a scandalized stare and all you could do was sigh before scooting over to him, getting settled criss-cross style before palming both of his cheeks and yanking his face down to yours. 

“I know when you’re lying to me, Tooru, and I know exactly why you’re lying to me right now.”

His first instinct was to roll his eyes and pull away, but you pulled him back harder, hard enough that he flashed his wide eyes to yours in surprise. 

“It was a prank, babe.” Ah yes, the words that turn every boy into goo. 

Oikawa clenched his jaw and wrapped his hands around your wrists. “The “yanking me off my stool so I can crush your ribs” thing or the “I’m gonna moan your enemy’s name so you almost have a heart attack and cry enough tears to flood a river” thing?”

“The “I’m gonna moan your enemy’s name so you-’”

Oikawa slammed his lips against yours, effectively drowning out any of the dumb-ass explanations you had waiting on your tongue. 

“Your pranks are always so mean, baby,” Oikawa mumbles against your lips. “Do you know how much it hurt to think that you were dreaming about being with another man?”

“Did it even matter that it was-”

“No,” he pecks your lips once more before rising to his feet and tugging you to yours. “No, the name didn’t matter at all.”

“Well damn, that’s a shame, because I was stuck between moaning Ushiwaka or Kag-”

“Here’s the thing, sweetheart: I don’t wanna hear another name aside from my own come out of your mouth for the rest of the night. Understood?”

“I-”

“Understood?” You sigh. 

“Yes sir.”

Tsukishima Kei:

Ouch.

One long finger pokes into your cheek, hard.

You’d barely even gotten the first two syllables of the ginger’s name off your tongue before Tsukishima was at the ready, stabbing you in the face with a fingernail you were almost positive you’d seen being filed down just hours ago. 

Bastard must’ve been faking it.

“Don’t say that,” Tsukishima grunts out tiredly, accompanying a yawn with yet another jab. 

Part of you wondered if there was a point to even keeping up the act, but the other part was so pissed you almost wanted Tsukishima to worry that it was real. 

You mumbled the random nonsense of the average person waking from a deep slumber and opened your eyes just to squint at the blond in bed beside you. 

“Wha…?”

In pure darkness, you could barely see Tsukishima narrowing his gaze back at you, half because he was pissed and half because he was lacking his glasses. 

He thrusts a finger right in the middle of your forehead. “Don’t ever moan that name again.”

“I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” You fake yawn, closing your eyes before rolling over to have your back face him. 

“I’m not stupid, YN.”

“Are you sure about that, Kei?”

He scoffs. “Fine, then. I’ll play along to this pointless game.”

The mattress quakes as Tsukishima shifts onto his knees, grabbing your hip with a single hand and tugging it hard enough that your back presses flat against the sheets before he throws a leg over your thighs, straddling you with ease. 

“Is this what you wanted?” One hand of his grabs yours, pulling it up above your head. Your breathing is more like gasping at this point as Tsukishima trails his other hand down your side. 

“Were you trying to make me so jealous that I’d do this?”

“Kei…”

“‘Cause, YN, you could’ve just asked.”

At last, your other wrist is trapped and joins the one over your head, Tsukishima’s long fingers easily holding down both of your hands with just one of his. 

“So, do you want to tell me what that shrimp did to you in this “dream” of yours?”

“Kei…” Was it so hard to pull a juicy reaction out of him? You wanted hugs, tears, maybe even a little begging. 

Of course, leave it to Tsukishima to always find a way to be above you. 

Tsukishima can see the fight die in your eyes and his own glow in return. 

“Really,” he hums, “that was all it took?”

“Jackass.” 

“Don’t be a sore loser, YN. Plus, we both know that prank of yours was impractical at best.” He slides off you, returning to his side of the bed and propping himself up on a single elbow to face you. “I’ve heard you moan my name plenty of times in your sleep to know when you’re actually having a wet dream.”

The smirk on his face makes you warm and fuzzy yet angry all at the same time. In retaliation, you jab a finger into his forehead before spinning face away from him once again. “Don’t get too cocky there, Kei. One day I might actually dream about another guy,” you fold your arms, “then what are you gonna do?”

Two arms wind around your stomach before yanking you back into a firm chest, then a single leg creeps between the two of yours. “Please, we both know I’m the only man you even think about.”

Though he sounded so self-assured, the tightness of his grip spoke differently. You reveled in the idea that he was just a bit self-conscious of that fact. Because although you’d never say it to his face...

The smug bastard was always right.

Tendou Satori: 

“Semi,” you moaned.

“Semi,” Tendou mocked. 

“Mmm, don’t stop.”

“Mmm, don’t stop.”

At first, you almost choked on the drool gathering in your mouth the instant you heard Tendou fake-moan along with you. 

Now, it was a contest of how long you could keep a straight face. 

All the lights were on in the room. The blinds were yanked open and the birds chirping out the arrival of morning tweeted from a tree just outside the window. 

You’d woken up when Tendou left to take a shower itching to prank him. At the time, it seemed perfect. 

Now your chest hurt with how much laughter you kept locked inside. The second he stepped out of the bathroom with steam rolling off his body, you decided it was time to put your plan in motion. 

Oh what a mistake it was. 

“More.”

“More.”

Tendou squated right next to your side of the bed, crossed both arms on the mattress just two inches from your face, dropped his chin on top and proceeded to parrot your every word. 

“Harder. More, please Semi.”

“Yeah, harder Semi, you grandpa-haired, shorter-than-me, cries-at-the-Titanic-movie, girlfriend-stealing son of a bitch.”

And just when you sputtered out a breathless laugh, Tendou rose from his crouch and stalked out of the room, towel wrapped over his head and shoulders like a black Sith robe. 

In the kitchen, pots and pans clattered like Tendou was trying to get the attention of the entire city, at one point even walking back and forth in front of the doorway slamming two frying pans against one another. 

“Oh no, I can’t find that spatula!” your boyfriend called out before proceeding to toss out every single appliance in the drawer, allowing them to clang and clash against the wood like they were literally raining from the ceiling. 

What was funny at first was now a major issue for the rest of the apartment complex--it seemed Tendou had gone mad enough that he was risking getting (yet another) noise complaint that would once and for all kick you both out of the building. 

Ever so in a rush, you slid out of the blankets and made haste toward the kitchen down the hall, stopping in the doorway and dropping your jaw at the sight. 

Tendou, maroon eyes flashing with jealousy, held a porcelain plate up over his head with the obvious intent to throw it against the ground and create an even bigger mess. 

Luckily, his eyes darted toward you at the last second. 

“Hey,” he grinned with eyes so wide and hair so frazzled you actually thought he’d gone insane for a split second, “look who’s up!”

“Satori…” you made your way over to him, precarious step by precarious step. Tongs, pizza cutters, and ice cream scoopers littered the floor while all of your pots and pans lay on the countertop in a pile almost up to Tendou’s shoulder, “what the hell is going on?”

His smile faltered for a second before it came back even larger than normal; his eyes, however, stayed darkened. “Just trying to make breakfast! But I couldn’t find that damned griddle we use for pancakes.”

“Probably because we threw it out four months ago.” Uh oh, you’d finally broken him. 

“Oh…”

“Yeah…”

The pandemonium in the kitchen was nothing compared to the frantic look in Tendou’s eyes, though. They flitted up and down, up and down along your body, looking for something you were almost positive wasn’t there. 

Then he spoke. 

“So… how did you sleep?”

Tense. Tight. Deep. The question sounded like someone had strangled it out of him, and you didn’t dare glance up from collecting the appliances littered on the floor for fear of seeing the pain in his eyes. 

“Satori… I’m really sorry.”

“For what?” With arms full of disarrayed utensils, you hesitantly looked towards the sink where you aimed to drop them off, only to find Tendou bent over and waiting to meet your eyes. The words had slipped off his tongue right as you finished your sentence. 

“The moaning… like, when I moaned Semi’s name and stuff.” Maintaining eye contact at this point was basically impossible for you and instead you settled for watching your feet as they shifted your weight nervously. “It was just a prank and I didn’t think it would get to you so bad. I’m sorry. Really.”

The atmosphere in the room grew ten times stiffer, almost choking you up--you never thought such a thing was possible with a relaxed guy like Tendou present. 

Evidently, you were wrong. 

“It was all a joke?”

“Yes.”

“Like, it was just a prank?”

“Yes.”

“To see how I’d react and stuff?”

“Yep.”

“Phew,” Tendou pressed a hand against his forehead and let out a laugh. “Almost lost my cool there.”

Your jaw dropped to the floor and you glanced around at the kitchen. Tendou didn’t seem to mind your temporary shock, though, as he guided you over to the sink to dispose of the utensils before wrapping you in a hug. “Don’t ever,” he grumbled, voice suddenly deeper and huskier, “ever do something like that again.” Then he pulled away. “Now,” Tendou grinned, “how’s about we go out for breakfast?”

You stayed frozen in place, eyes flitting from the floor to Tendou’s suddenly normal smile back to the floor again. 

Then you kicked him in the shin. 

“Ow, what the hell was that for?!”

You sputtered out a laugh from deep in your chest that was bordering on maniacal. “Oh-ho no, I am so not cleaning up this mess. That’s your problem, mister.” Then you pressed a small kiss to his cheek. “I will, however, go pick us up some breakfast and bring it back here though.”

Then you yanked him into a hug and forced his ear to your lips, lowering your tone deeply and darkly. “And this place better be spotless when I come back.” You pulled back with a smile before skipping to the front door and Tendou could only watch with a gleaming grin on his face. 

God, he loved you.

“You better not be going to see Semi while you’re out!” He received the bird in return.

“Love you too, babe!”

You Use the Safeword (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFS not mine*

Kuroo and Kageyama Version

A/N: I’ve got like a million ideas for these, so just be prepared. (PS: someone needs to tell the star wars writers to get some yandere kylo ren out here😤 like yall im thirsty)

Word count: 1269

Bokuto Koutarou:

He’s the type to spring to the other side of the room the second he hears the word “Chumbawumba” fall from your lips. 

It’s a mewl and whimper all wrapped in one that swiftly and harshly rip his heart in two. 

While you crush a pillow against your chest to try and assuage the pain, a wave of horror dawns on Bokuto’s face. He’s watching every move you make to ensure you’re still actually breathing just as the first tear slips. 

Soon, it’s not alone as he starts bawling, his whimpers and sniffles leaving his face a damp, mucus-drenched nightmare.

“Oh Bo...”

“YN I HURT YOU!” 

You could physically watch as that fact ate him up from the inside out. First, he crumpled to his knees, and then he hugged them to his chest. Muffled sobs echoed around the room louder than your cries of pleasure ever had, leaving you to wallow in pity as your boyfriend beat himself up. 

“Bo, I’m okay, I promise.”

It’s a struggle at first, but you still attempt to ease yourself off the bed. Bokuto’s ears perk and his head raises but the second he spots you reaching out for him he springs to his feet.

“NO!” Tears start falling even faster when he notices how you flinched at his cry.

“Please, YN,” he continues, voice lowered, “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Pursing your lips, you try to take another step but he presses himself harder against the door, hand scrambling for the knob. Just as he finds it, you pounce on him, snatching his wrist and yanking it towards you.

“YN wait-”

“Shut up,” you huff out, gripping him even tighter when he starts twisting and tugging his arm. Without missing a beat, you yank the hand towards your body and press it just over your heart.

His fingers are cold against your hot, sticky skin, but that doesn’t stop you as you watch his expression, waiting for a reaction. 

“...Why?”

“Because Bo,” you roll your eyes and press both hands over his own, “my heart is still yours, no matter how many times you get a little rough in bed.”

He’s silent as he studies your hands on his, even more so when he raises his other to wipe the saltiness from his cheeks. 

“I... I never wanted to hurt you, YN. Not in a million years.”

“I know, babe. And that’s what the safeword is for,” you gesture back to the bed. “Remember? We came up with it so you wouldn’t accidentally hurt me, and that’s all that was--an accident.”

He sniffles once more before nodding. “Okay.” The hand on his own cheek transferred to yours with a hesitancy you had never felt before. When his fingertips met your skin, he sighed in relief, cupping the side of your face and running a thumb just over the rosy apple of your cheek.

You smile and press a kiss into his palm. “All right, how about we watch a movie instead?”

“I don’t think-”

“If you go out and get my favorite candy, I might just give you forgiveness cuddles.” His eyes glowed with anticipation. 

As always, Bokuto was only willing to accept your kindness by working for it; he never thought he deserved it otherwise. That’s why the second you suggested the offer, he zipped out of the room in only his boxers and T-shirt.

“I’LL GET YOU ALL THE BOXES, BABY, JUST YOU WAIT!”

“Bo, don’t forget-”

“SHIT, MY SHOES!”

Tsukishima Kei: 

He knows it before you even whisper “ginger shrimp.”

Your lips formed into an “o,” but not a good “o.”

Tsukishima’s eyes widen before he turns away, climbing off you and reaching for his glasses. They clatter to the floor and he leans down to grab them, trembling hands unfolding the lenses and pushing them up his nose. 

“I’m sorry,” he grunts. His voice is hoarse and quiet; less scathing than you had ever heard it. Even in a moment like this, you wish you could see his face but his back is turned toward you completely. 

“Tsukki...”

“I’m going to... go get you an aspirin and a glass of water. E-excuse me.” 

Shock encompasses your face the second you hear your boyfriend--your overly-critical, always-sarcastic boyfriend--stutter for what must have been the first time in his life. 

You don’t bother to point it out though because the door is already closing behind him the minute you shake yourself out of the daze. 

His bedroom is silent, but not the comfortable silence you and him are both used to. It’s painful and awkward and worries you about whether Tsukishima will even bother talking to you for a while. 

You can’t even hear a sound in the rest of the house because the atmosphere is so dark and heavy. A lump forms in your throat and you glance at the clock. 

Ten minutes.

Ten minutes have passed since he said he would leave to get you a painkiller. It didn’t even hurt anymore at this point, and truly what surprised you the most was how hard Tsukishima took it on himself. 

You decided to go investigate after another five minutes ticked by. 

The hardwood floor left a flood of chills racing up your body as you tiptoed through his room and out into the hallway. With only his thin sheets to keep you covered, you sneaked down the stairs and padded into the kitchen.

No luck.

His white blanket dragged along the floor as you traveled past the small opening into the living room, finally spotting your boyfriend.

Long fingers tangled into blond hair as his back curled over, elbows stuck on his knees while he cradled his head. 

You chose to stay silent and not disturb him, instead making your way over and plopping onto the cushion next to him on the sofa. He raised from his position and turned to you, eyes snapping open. 

“Sorry, I didn’t get your-”

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you twisted your body to trap him in a hug. The sheet slipped down your body but you didn’t bother adjusting it, not when there were more serious matters to handle. 

“YN...”

“Shut up,” you dug a hand into the nape of his neck, shoving his face into your collarbone. “I’m fine, you doofus. You didn’t kill me; I’m not as fragile as you think.”

You felt his jaw clench against your chest before he huffed, not-so reluctantly returning the hug with his arms around your waist. 

The living room was silent for a moment, just you and Tsukishima soaking up each other’s presence in the early midday hours with only the birds outside to keep you company. His skin was warm and bare against yours, but, unsurprisingly, his fingers were colder than ice. 

“I told you that was a bad idea, you know.” And there it is. 

At least it was nice while it lasted. 

Tsukishima pulled away and glanced your body up and down in what he must’ve thought was a discreet way. 

“It sounded like fun, you know. At least I thought you would’ve liked it.”

He set his jaw. “If it meant you never getting hurt again, I’d say we should stick to vanilla from now on.”

“Aww, but where’s the fun in that?”

here’s a request, okay so like i’ve been sad recently so how would Tsuki, Bokuto, and Kenma (separately) cheer up their s/o who’s sad, thank you :) hopefully you do it, if you don’t it’s totally cool!

Cheering Up Sad S/O (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! Umm, and I know I’m not really qualified to help or anything, but I know one thing that always makes me feel better is laughing. Even if it’s forced, laughing always feels good to me, so maybe it’ll help you too! Anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

Word count: 802

Tsukishima Kei:

Honestly, he doesn’t take you seriously at first. 

Let’s be real, Tsukishima is shit with emotions

So he thinks you’re kind of just throwing a fit in the beginning. 

Then you start crying or just start being more quiet than usual and then he thinks oh SHIT.

He starts by standing beside you and just awkwardly patting your head.

Then he sighs and brings out the big guns, dragging you to the couch and setting you down there. 

He leaves and comes back five minutes later with popcorn, drinks and piles of blankets and he just cuddles you while watching his favorite tv show (documentary about dinos whattt)

I mean ur like crying so u can’t see the screen, right??

He’s got his lanky arms wrapped around you and you’re laying on top of him trying to steady your breathing. 

When you do, you give him a small kiss and mutter thank you before untucking your face. 

He’ll nod and then ask what you want to watch and that’ll be that. 

Basically yeah he’s gonna be extremely awkward around you cuz that’s just Tsukki.

But after he gets over his initial shock and is like “oh crap, I’m the boyfriend here, I’m the one who solves this,” he just gives you his best snuggles under the claim that he’s keeping you warm. 

“If you’re tears dry when you’re cold, then you could get hypothermia.” 

“Pshh, yeah did the T-rex tell you that?”

He’ll own up to it in the end and legitimately ask if you’re okay. You almost tear up at his sincerity but nod anyways and tackle him in a big hug once more. 

(He smiles lightly against your hair and rubs your back while enjoying the feeling of having you against him.)

Bokuto Koutarou:

Usually, you’re just as chipper as Bokuto is, so when you’re down in the dumps, he is too. 

Goes emo mode almost instantly when he notices you’re sad. 

Then he smacks himself out of it.

He carries you bridal style into a grocery store and lets you pick out your favorite snacks.

Y’all go home and he makes a whole-ass nest of blankets and pillows on the living room floor. 

Pillow Fort™

No movies or tv shows with sad scenes are allowed in this domain. Only comedies and fluff flicks.

He’ll feed you candy then beg you to feed him some too.

By the end of the night, he’s given you a massage, a bubble bath, and a cuddle to sleep.

He’s a big teddy bear, but also a solid teddy bear, so he’s a lil hard to snuggle with, but he’s warm so you don’t care. 

In the end, expect many hugs and kisses from this man, he is a very physical lover. 

And yes, the next day you will get breakfast in bed. Or brunch technically bc you both slept in till eleven.

Kozume Kenma:

This man is a listener. That’s all I gotta say.

He’ll let you vent about everything that’s been going on, and let’s be honest, there’s really nothing better than that.

He’s just about the best guy to have around when you’re sad.

If you want a hug, just ask and he’ll give you one. If you want a kiss, he’ll give you one too.

Honestly, he just wants to see you go back to being your normal happy self, so he’ll appeal to your every wish. 

I mean… that’s it.

After you’ve vented all your problems, he’ll ask what else you wanna do.

You want hugs. And that’s a fact. 

So yeah, he’ll give you hugs, and then he’ll give you his hoodie, and then he’ll give you his game and show you how to play cuz this boy is 🥺 level 100

He’s been sad before (I mean they all have but Kenma doesn’t like having a sad s/o) so he wants you to feel better as soon as possible. 

“You’re pressing the wrong buttons, YN.”

“No I’m not! This game is just STUPID!”

“YOU’RE STUP- I mean, yes the game is very stupid, yes.”

Guess who doesn’t get to touch his gameboy anymore.

By the end of the day, you’re both passed out in bed holding each other. Each of you is swaddled in his huge hoodies and cradling each other closely. 

*Next day*

“Kenma, where’s your game? I think I know how to play now.”

“I lost it.”

(Press X to Doubt)

Practice Makes Perfect (Tsukishima x Reader)

*GIF not mine*

Summary: There’s nothing wrong with preparing to ask out the guy you like. Just make sure you don’t have an audience while you do it.

A/N: Hey guys, I’ve been going through a rough patch recently, so I’m sorry if I disappointed any of you by not posting. I’ll try to get back on the wagon soon, I promise. Here’s an imagine I got an idea for from this prompt by @otpdisaster​. I hope you guys like it!

Word count: 1115

        You’ve been at it for a while now. The bathroom was empty and silent; perfect for your test runs during lunch hour. The lights occasionally flickered and created a buzz that was mind-numbing, but you couldn’t complain. 

       “Hey Tsukishima… I like your… eyes? No! God YN, that’s terrible.” You shook your head at yourself in the mirror before trying one more time. This round, you bit your lip and fluttered your eyelashes. 

       “Hey there, Tsukki,” you pucker your lips slightly, “I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me this Friday?” Your reflection was an abomination; you looked halfway constipated. 

       “Ughhhh, this is a nightmare!” Turning on the sink, you splash some cold water in your face before bracing your hands against the porcelain. There was still a light in your eyes, and the longer you looked at yourself, the more beauty you seemed to find. Something about today made you feel ready. Ready to ask out the boy you’d been crushing on for years now. 

       “No, no YN! You can do this!” You nodded at yourself reassuringly and smiled. Pearly whites shown through thanks to weeks of strips. Every strand of hair on your head was about as in place as they could be. Your lips were soft and freshly chapsticked, and for once in your life, you felt attractive in your school uniform. “I can do this,” you whispered once more before turning away from the mirror. 

       With a dramatic hair flip, you turned back to your reflection with a smirk and a sultry voice. “Are you a parking ticket?” You raised a suggestive brow, “Because you’ve got fine written all over you.” Nope. With a pouty sigh, you smack your palm against your forehead. 

       “Why do I suck at thissss?” No response, which led you to be simultaneously pissed off and relieved. You wanted help, but not from anybody conscious in society. Running a hand through your strands, you huff and throw your head back, staring at the ceiling as if it would guide you. Then, you shake your body out like a wet dog and return your gaze to the glass, slamming one hand on your popped-out hip to emphasize your curves, however nonexistent they were. 

       “Hey sexy.” Cue eyebrow waggle. “You, me, the movies. Eight o’ clock, don’t be late- Nope, nope, nope.” Your cheeks were trying to beat the sun, you just knew it. They burned and mimicked the colors of tomatoes. But somewhere, deep down at the bottom of your gut, you just didn’t want to give up. 

       “Please go out with me!” Hands clasped together in a begging motion, you pouted. Too wussy.

       “Hey you!” You pointed a finger accusingly, “Go out with me! Or else!” Too threatening.

       “I’ll buy you some candy if you go out with me,” you bargained with wide, desperate eyes. Too child-kidnappy. 

       “I don’t suppose you’ve noticed my, uhh, mandatory school uniform.” You trailed a hand down the side of your body awkwardly. “It’s made of,” you deepen your voice and narrow your eyes, “girlfriend material.” Too serial killerish.

       “Would you like to be my precious?” you rasped, scratching up your throat. Too Gollumy.

       “Fuck, this is never gonna work!” Throwing your hands up in the air in exasperation, you release a roar that could tremble the internal organs of your enemies before-

       “Ha! I got it! He plays volleyball!” You hop out of your self-deprecating groove instantly with one single, genius idea. Body wiggling excitedly, you delve into your backpack and snatch your phone. Google is such a wonderful resource. 

       “If I was a volleyball, I’d let you hit me all day…” you read aloud before glancing back up at yourself and shaking your head. “I’m desperate, but I’m not that desperate.” Minutes passed, and you test-ran through a couple more lines until you finally found it. The one.

       “Do you play volleyball?” Eyes glowing victoriously, you beamed at the mirror, “Because I sure dig you!” The vandalized, STD-infested high school restroom stays silent, but it didn’t deter you. Your heart pangs with excitement, and you knew you were ready. 

       “It’s perfect!” You were about to high-five yourself, but a muffled snicker interrupted you. The beating in your chest stops for a second and you burst into a cold sweat. Oh crap, who’s there?!

       “H-hello?” You grab your backpack and raise it in front of you. “Who is it? Who’s there?” The last person you wanted to see steps into the women’s bathroom, smug smirk and all. 

       “I don’t know, I kind of liked the Lord of the Rings one.” He shrugs. “Your impression was spot on.” Your throat constricts and you struggle to breathe, let alone respond.

       “Why are you here?” you choke out, hiding your clammy palms behind your back. 

       “The teacher sent me to ask if you were okay. Guess she thought you fell in.” Everything about Tsukishima screams ‘smug.’ Before you liked him, it pissed you off. Then it became endearing. And now it makes you want to crawl into a hole and die. 

       “So, how much did you hear?” 

       “About five minutes before the Optimus Prime impression.”

       “Oh God!” You hide your face into your hands and groan exasperatedly. “You heard all of that?!” He chuckles before nodding, eyes glowing arrogantly behind his frames. 

       “Most of it wasn’t half-bad, though.” You peek between your fingers. 

       “Really?”

       “Yeah,” he licks his lips while crossing his arms. “Give one a try.” Brows furrowed in confusion, you open and close your mouth repeatedly like a fish until he explains further.

       “I promise you’ll like the outcome.” There’s this weird look on his face. It’s not angry, or cocksure. He doesn’t look like he’s about to ream your ass or point out all the mistakes you’ve made in your life. It looks almost like… a smile. And a reassuring one at that. Your eyes widen at the sight before a lop-sided grin grows on your face. 

       “All right,” you nod nonchalantly, but your eyes flicker with excitement, “which one do you wanna hear first?”

       “Hmm, how about my favorite of yours so far: goose in the park looking for a Tsukishima-shaped bread crumb?”

Bet (Tsukishima x Reader)

*GIF not mine*

Summary: You ended up wearing a green bean costume to school the next day. Why? Ugh, don’t ask. 

A/N: Looking up April Fools pranks for this fic was just about the best research I’ve done for a story in a while. Hope you like it! (Again, thank you guys so much for the likes and follows, they make me so happy I almost screech and scare the shit out of my parents!)

Word count: 1245

        “Kei, there’s no way your teammates are that stupid.” 

       “Oh yeah? You wanna bet?” You did, and you really thought you would win, too. Oh, how wrong you were. 

       It was April Fools, and Tsukishima came up with a simple prank to test just how oblivious the Karasuno volleyball team could be. Before practice began, you were to bring in a box of original glazed-donuts to the second gym. Nothing too special, it’s just that on the top of the box you wrote “Happy April First!” in bright green letters. The fear and anxiety in the team captain’s eyes was instantaneous. 

       “Hey guys, I brought in donuts for you all!” you announced cheerfully, setting down the closed box on one of their metal benches. Even Kiyoko, who had been seated there, stood quickly and watched the donuts with suspicion. Chuckling behind your hand, you joined a smug Tsukishima near the entrance and waited for the show to begin. At first, the whole team had been ecstatic about the gift and thanked you loudly, but smiles dropped off each and everyone’s faces one-by-one the closer they stepped to it, evidently reading the note on top. 

       Giving your boyfriend a pointed look, you gestured to his teammates and whispered, “See, I told you they wouldn’t-” you were cut off by the sound of the box opening, and whipped your head over in surprise to see the culprits. It was Hinata and Kageyama, glancing inside in wonder at the deliciously glazed pastries. 

       You gawked at the sight, but Tsukishima’s smirk only grew while he folded his arms and leaned against the wall comfortably at the scene. “Guys, wait!” Daichi warned, his arm reaching out in protest, but he was too late. The rest of the team watched in horror as the ginger and the blueberry inhaled the donuts without so much as pausing at their captain’s exclamation, licking their fingers and shouting a “Thank you!” at you before returning to the court. Visibly shaken at the spectacle that had just occurred, Kiyoko reclaimed her place on the bench numbly as the rest of the team returned to practice with bewildered expressions. They were all lying in wait for side-effects that would never appear from your innocent box of treats.  

       You were appalled. “No hesitation. They didn’t even notice. I can’t tell if they’re fearless or just stupid,” you mumbled. 

       Tsukishima patted your jaw closed and gave a shit-eating grin. “The latter. Definitely the latter.” 

       Refusing to take the loss, you looked up at him and bargained, “Double or nothing?”

                               ~~~

       Your boyfriend’s second prank was… admittedly crueler. You assumed he was still pissed at Nishinoya and Tanaka for hitting on you at the first game you had ever attended of his, but you didn’t mention your theory. Plus, this trick would be enough revenge on its own. It was the next day, and you and Tsukishima had spent an hour last night painting two onions and caramelizing them like apples, only to carry them into school and drop them off at the desks of the two flirty dimwits under the guise that they were from the gorgeous Kiyoko herself. At first, you thought the plan failed. The school alarm hadn’t sounded in warning that the pair had spontaneously combusted at the gifts, and you didn’t hear a loud commotion in the halls from them running around like excited, headless chickens. 

       “Be patient,” the blondy murmured in the desk next to you. “It’ll happen at practice. I know it.” Huffing out a breath, you dropped your chin into your hands and zoned back in on the teacher’s droning. History was mind-numbingly boring; you just wanted to win the bet right now!

                               ~~~

       Walking hand-in-hand to volleyball practice directly after school, yours and Tsukishima’s gentle teasing was interrupted by wobbly shouts. “Kiyoko, you’re so amazing!” 

       You both recognized the voices and exchanged looks before running up to the open doors of the gym. Wow, what an embarrassing scene. Nishinoya and Tanaka were writhing around on the ground with overjoyed expressions and happy tears, hugging the disguised caramel onions to their chests in front of a highly confused team manager. 

       “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but get up off the ground.” The pair instantly hopped up at her monotonous command and whined after her as she walked away. Both schooled their expressions into utter seriousness and faced each other before intertwining their arms. 

       “We eat these caramel apples at the same time, in honor of our goddess Kiyoko.” Nishinoya’s face was humorless and dark as he held the unwrapped onion up to his own face. You cringed at the thought while your boyfriend began to snicker under his breath.

       “Agreed, brochacho.” Tanaka nodded along, and together, they both took large bites of their unsavory treats, freezing up at the first taste. 

       Tsukishima grabbed onto you for stability while he wholeheartedly cracked up next to your ear. His howls echoed throughout the gym while you covered your mouth at the sight. In just two more bites, they had swallowed the onions whole with shadows on their faces. You were going to throw up, you just knew it. At last, the pair separated slowly and stared down at their empty sticks. They didn’t seem appalled or disgusted at all. Rather, they looked… stupefied. 

        “Kiyoko, those were delicious!” You flinched at the outburst as the pair suddenly skipped their way over to the unsuspecting third year and began to excitedly circle around her like a ritual. While she complained at their actions, your boyfriend was now roaring with laughter, his whole body shaking with each chuckle as he shoved his face into your shoulder to calm himself. You were still mystified by the stomach-churning show you had just watched. And finally, just when Tsukishima’s cackles began to slow, you moaned at your defeat. 

       “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you whined in disbelief, “Did they seriously just eat whole onions? What the hell is wrong with those guys?!” 

       “I ask myself that question every day,” Tsukishima disclosed to you, pulling away to wipe off his glasses with a rag found in his pocket. Grumbling under your breath, you sigh before turning to him and placing your hands on your hips. 

       “All right, all right. Fine, you win. What do you want me to do?”

       Returning his glasses to his face, his eyes flashed behind the lenses while he smirked deviously. “I thought you’d never ask.”

                               ~~~

       I wanna die, you thought to yourself as your face bloomed with telltale embarrassment. Keeping your head ducked, not that that would help hide you, you walk through the gates of Karasuno and make your way into school, small giggles trailing after you. Finally, you spot your boyfriend at the same time he easily notices you. Utterly miserable, you lazily drag your feet over to him, seething from inside your costume but staying silent nonetheless. It’s not like you could plan his murder out loud, after all.

       Snickering victoriously, Tsukishima cheekily wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Who’s the string bean now?” 

Don’t Slouch (Tsukishima x Reader)

*GIF not mine*

Summary: You’ve got a bad habit. You know that. So why does that blond smartass in your class keep ragging you about it?

A/N: I’m tired, but I didn’t wanna forget this idea. I wasn’t even gonna write tonight, but we already here, so… voila. (Btw, thanks for the follows and likes!!)

Word count: 1074

        “Slouching’s bad for you, you know.” Kei Tsukishima, the tall, skinny, blond volleyball player who sat in the desk next to yours, remarked. At first, you thought it wasn’t him who spoke, as he hadn’t even looked at you when he said it, but you knew his arrogant voice. It was one of a kind. When you glanced at his blank face, it was directed towards the bag on his desk, obviously searching for something as his long fingers sifted through papers. 

       “So?” you retorted lamely, your head upturned at him with a raised brow. Though, you couldn’t care less how you sounded. You just wanted to return to studying for midterms, but his sudden blurting made you feel obligated to respond. 

       “So don’t slouch,” he shrugged simply, pulling his headphones up over his ears and leaving the classroom for lunch. Scoffing confusedly, you shake your head and return to the books, subconsciously straightening out your back and dismissing the cracks that ran through it. 

                               ~~~

       Eyes anxiously scanning over the test, you nervously searched for any mistakes you may have made on the answer sheet. Your forehead dripped with sweat, and your breathing grew heavy. Crap, why did tests always rile you up like this, especially the important ones? This sucked. Flinching when the alarm sounded, signalling you were out of time, you hesitantly rose from your desk and dragged your feet to the teacher’s desk, handing her your test with shaky, unsure hands before returning to your seat and ducking your head into your arms. The footsteps around you from your fellow classmates gathering their things and exiting the classroom did nothing to block out the snicker from beside you. 

       “You really should stop slouching so much. You’re going to ruin your posture.” Tsukishima, again, single-handedly irritated you once more in the blink of an eye. What an amazing ability he has for pissing you off. 

       Huffing out a breath, you reluctantly twisted your head to face him, muttering, “What’s it to you, glasses?” 

       “Just saying it’s a rather unhealthy habit of yours,” he mused, flashing you a small smirk while swiftly pushing his glasses up his nose. Returning his expression with a sarcastic smile of your own, you ran your middle finger down the side of your face discreetly before dropping your head back into your arms exhaustedly. Chuckling under his breath, the blond’s footsteps echoed throughout the room as he walked away, leaving you alone in your self-degradation over your estimated test results. 

                               ~~~

       The boy just didn’t seem to know how to let things go. He had criticized you for your slouching in the last year more than he had ever conversed with you in the twelve years that you have known him. That’s right, you and Tsukishima have been going to the same schools since you were both in diapers. Truth be told, you weren’t friends, but you weren’t complete strangers either. Plus, he always seemed to be a lone wolf, at least until Yamaguchi came along. So, even though he rarely talked to you before your first year of high school, his tolerance of your slouching habit seemed to have reached the end of its rope. He haughtily reamed your ass over it every single time he got the chance. Finishing the remainder of your homework for the day? Oh you bet he’s just a-waitin’ over your shoulder. 

       “Would you like some advice?”

       “Is it to stop slou-”

       “Don’t slouch.” Insert your groan here. Was that the only Japanese this guy knew?

       Maybe you’re just contentedly discussing movies with your friends? Yep, he’s got something to say.

       “Hey, YN, what’s that one series called again?” he interrupted, “‘Slouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?’” 

       “‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,’” you had corrected him tightly, jaw twitching in irritation. Eventually, you hit your boiling point; but hey, a little threatening never hurt anybody… right? 

       Four days ago:

       “Hey YN?”

       “Ughhh, what Tsukishima? What, what, what?”

       “Stop slouching so much.”

       “I swear I’m gonna strangle you one of these days, beanstalk.” 

       Two days ago:

       “Don’t slouch.” 

       “Excuse me?”

       “Don’t slouch so much. You look like the cat of a witch.”

       “Oh my Go- you know what? I’m gonna castrate you. Slowly, at first, and then I’m gonna kick it up a notch. Just for you, beanpole.” You thought it was a grand idea, but he only laughed in your face and walked away. This guy’s gonna be the reason I have a drinking problem.

       Yesterday:

       “Don’t sl-”

       You threateningly pointed at him with serious, wide eyes and raised brows. “I will snap you like a twig.” A chuckle. That’s all you got. 

       Finally, you had it. It was almost the end of the school year, and you just wanted to know why, even coming up with a theory of your own. But the question you believed you had the answer to still stood. Why did he keep bugging you about an issue that was definitely only yours to fix? So you caught him after school, and told him what you thought of his constant lectures. After all, they had kept you up all night last night, and maybe you had gone a little crazy, but you think you finally figured out why he was doing it. 

       “Hey.” You were following him down the steps of the school. “Hey Tsukishima!” you called, barely avoiding tripping over your own feet.

       “What?” he responded gruffly, turning around to stare at you with obvious annoyance. 

       “I think I’ve figured out why you keep telling me to stop slouching.” Smiling victoriously, you nodded your head affirmatively at your own statement.

       “Oh really?” he challenged with a heightened brow, a lopsided grin slowly forming. 

       “Yep. You’re just trying to tell me to stand tall. No matter what happens, what grade I get, or how I do on a test, you want me to keep my head high and my back straight. Before I figured that out, I thought it was annoying. Now, I think it’s really sweet of you-”

       He rolled his eyes before he interrupted you with pink-tinged cheeks. “Psh, that’s not it. I just don’t want my future wife to have a hunchback when we grow old together.” 

       Oh. 

       Ohhhhhhh.